Crown Games
by Andrew'sAmy
Summary: AU. "'We are supposed to be together, Edward. I can feel it.' But how could that be true? I was nothing but a servant..." Edward has grown up an orphan, but Princess Isabella thinks there is more to him than meets the eye. Warning: Contains some violence
1. Secrets

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**WARNING: This story contains physical violence. Please read with caution if anything of that nature bothers you. For the chapters that contain questionable material, I will also restate this warning.**

**Summary: "'We are supposed to be together, Edward. I can feel it.' But how could that be true? I was nothing but a servant..." Edward has grown up an orphan, but Princess Isabella thinks there is more to him than meets the eye. **

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Chapter 1 – Secrets

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EPOV

I had been locked in my room. Again. This time, I didn't even know what I had done. I curled myself into a ball as I sat on the small cot in the corner of my tiny room, trying to be as small as possible. I knew what would happen if the Mistress heard me crying once more.

When I first learned that I would be taken to work at the Forcelle Palace, you could say that I was excited. Happy even. I had seen the outside of it on one of our trips to the market. It was grand with high stonewalls and beautiful gardens; it looked like a wonderful place to live. Little did I know of what it would actually be…

"Hey!" a voice whispered.

I froze. Someone was in my room.

"What is the matter?"

I looked up from where I had buried my head in my dingy pillow into two brown eyes that I had never seen this close before.

"Are you all right?" I didn't answer. My heart was suddenly pounding in my chest. What was she doing in here? How did she get in, when the door was locked from the outside? She seemed to be waiting for me to say something, but I knew that would be disobedient, since I was never allowed to talk to any of _them_, so I just nodded, wiping the tears from my face. She looked at me for a while before glancing around my room.

It is very small, smaller than the other servants' quarters are, dim and dirty as well because I was a kid and an orphan, so of course I didn't deserve any better. I didn't get any nice things since coming here from the workhouse. Not that I had any nice things there, either. I had nothing when they found me. I looked up and realized she was staring at me. She looked sad when she spoke again, "Is this cot your only furnishings? Where are your toys and clothes and things?"

I still didn't speak, I was afraid of what would happen, but this time she was getting an angry look on her face.

"Why don't you say something? Can't you speak?"

Again, I nodded.

"Why won't you answer me properly, then?"

I saw that she was getting madder, and I didn't want her to get angry and tell the Mistress, so I whispered, "I'm not allowed."

She chewed on her bottom lip for a second. Then her eyes sparkled. "Well, we can keep it a secret! Our very own secret!" She giggled. "What's your name?"

I smiled. Her laugh always sounded so pretty. Though, I had never heard it this closely before. "Edward."

She walked over to my bed and took my hand. "Come on, Edward! Let's go to my room!"

I didn't understand what she was saying, but since I was curious, I let her lead me to the brick wall next to my bed. She started to push on the bottom part of it, and suddenly a cluster of stones moved back, like a door! "Follow me!" She whispered, grabbing my hand again. And I did.

It was really cold and dark here in the wall, until she lit a small candle. It must have been how she saw to get to my room in the first place. As we walked, I noticed that there were different paths that we passed, as if we were in a maze, trying to find the way to the end. I got a little scared that we wouldn't find our way out again, but she seemed to know where she was going, and a few seconds later we came to a dead end with a small handle on it. She pulled on it and suddenly there was light and warmth coming through another opening, like in my room.

She blew out the candle, leaving it in the wall before pulling us inside her room and closing the door. It was so bright! And colorful! At first, my eyes hurt from all the colors. I looked around and couldn't believe what I saw.

Right next to where the secret door was in the corner of the room, there was a gigantic bed that was covered in thick, gold and deep blue-colored blankets and pillows, with a canopy that had billowing curtains in the gold color. The walls were a light blue, like the mid-day sky and the floors a warm brown wood. There were two large windows on the right, far wall, with a window seat in between them. A stone fireplace was on the opposite side of the bed, where two tall, wing-backed chairs and a table faced the hearth. A small bowl of water and a cloth sat just outside the fireside. Beyond that on the opposite wall was a grand shelf with many books lining its levels. To the right of the secret door stood a large vanity with a looking glass, wardrobe and dressing screen. Though all this was magnificent, it was the far corner that captured my attention. There was a small structure held up by several pieces of furniture, which were covered with many rich linens and other fabrics to create what looked like a kind of marquee or tent. To the left, closest to the real door to her room was a doll house and several toys and dolls, but to the right, a small upright pianoforte stood next to the far window, flooded with moonlight. I had always wanted to learn, though I couldn't understand why I was so drawn to the instrument when I knew that I would never play one.

I must have been dreaming, because I couldn't really be here… Could I? She ran across the room over to the wall by the real door to her room and switched off the lights, making the moonlight our only source to see by.

She pulled me over to the marquee of linens and crawled inside. I crawled in after her and watched as she lit a tiny lamp that brightened the small space. There were more big, soft linens and furs and pillows that were spread out below us. Suddenly, I realized how dirty I was, but she didn't seem to care.

She told me to sit down. I shook my head. She started to get that mad look on her face again and I remembered I didn't want to make her mad, so I sat as carefully as I could, touching as little as possible.

"Why were you crying, Edward?"

I pressed my lips together, wondering if I should tell her, but I didn't want to see her angry face again, so I answered, "I got in trouble."

"Is that why your back is red?"

I didn't realize she had seen my punishment. "Yes, Princess."

"Don't call me Princess. We're friends now," she said confidently, though I didn't see how we were. "Just call me Bella."

"Okay."

"Okay, _what_?"

"Okay, …B-bella." It sounded so strange.

She smiled then. "Wait here. I'll be right back."

She crawled out of the tent and moved to the hearth where she retrieved a bowl and some cloth before coming back to where I was. "Lie down."

I laid down on my stomach - it hurt too much on my back – and turned to watch what she was going to do. She lifted my shirt up then, and began cleaning the blood off my back. I winced a few times, but she tried to distract me. "How old are you, Edward?"

"Nine."

"Wow! You're almost in the double numbers age! I'm only seven. Mother says I act much older though…" She kept talking and I realized that the Prin-er, uh, _Bella_, was really nice. And funny. She talked about playing jokes on her tutors, and how she would make faces at the men her father, King Charles, would meet with.

"Did you ever get in trouble?" I asked.

"Well, my maid, Mrs. Stanley, says that I should not do those things, but I don't listen to her. She doesn't even care about me." Then she giggled, "You should see her face when my father reprimands her! She turns purple! But she can't yell at me, cause then she wouldn't be able to stay at the palace, so she just talks to me about being a _good_girl, and says that I have to act like a _lady_, whatever that means." She laughed again, and I did, too. Her smile was really nice. I liked it.

"All right." She announced once she was finished with my mending. "All better! Now, it is time for bed," she said sternly. After she put the bowl and cloth back on the hearth, she crawled next to me, lying on her stomach facing me, and carefully wrapped one of her arms around my shoulders. "Goodnight Edward. I'm glad we're friends." She smiled then, and closed her eyes.

I didn't understand what was going on, but for some reason, I knew that I wanted to be her friend. But how could I when I wasn't supposed to even speak to her? Looking at what I knew from tonight, I guessed that I wouldn't have a choice about it. And I was glad.


	2. Resolute

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

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Chapter 2 – Resolute

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BPOV

I had set eyes on him before. Watching in secret as he performed chores around the palace. He never said much, except for a "yes, Mistress" or "no, Mistress" here or there. It was rather strange. Each time I had spotted him, I felt like I should speak with him. Or hug him. Something to remove the constant gloominess from his features. Though I did not even know his name. Not that that would have stopped me…

I found that I liked watching this strange boy. He was so pretty. With pale skin, and brown-red hair—like rich copper—that stood in many directions at once. What really stood out were the color of his eyes; they were a deep, emerald green, which seemed to shimmer despite the grief shown in his features. He always seemed sad, and I got curiouser and curiouser about why that might be.

Each day I would think of how I could approach him. Finally, I decided that I would just say hello and let myself figure out the rest later. I spotted him in the main sitting room, sweeping ashes from the hearth of the great fireplace that was far across the room. Mrs. Newton was overseeing his work, and apparently, it was not good enough. Though, no one seemed to be up to her standard, as she horribly detested any amount of dirt or disorder. I silently made plans for her and then looked back at the boy. He was covered from head to toe in ashes and soot. _I __wish __I __was __allowed __to __get __good __and __dirty __like __that_.

"Be careful, you little fool. Do not get any more filth in this room, or I shall flog you."

"Yes, Mistress," he replied in a small voice. It made me sad.

As Mrs. Newton was moving toward the door to leave, I decided that this was my opportunity. She was nearly out of the room before she saw me. "Isabella?" She said sweetly. "Why, whatever are you doing here, Your Highness?" I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could, she said, "I am sorry, but we are going to be freshening up the room for the rest of the morning." She smiled condescendingly at me, as if I could not see right through her.

"There is no problem, Mrs. Newton. I wish to talk with that boy there, so I do not mind." There was a horrified gasp that came from her, and then a cold, hard hand grasped my shoulder from behind. I turned and saw that Mrs. Stanley was as equally astonished as Mrs. Newton—I guess she had heard me—but she collected her expression quickly before dismissing Mrs. Newton.

"That will be all, Karen. Please continue your appointments."

"Yes, ma'am." And with that parting, Mrs. Newton disappeared. I did not understand what was going on before I, too, was made to leave the room. I looked over before I lost sight of him and saw the boy watching us before he quickly moved to focus on his chore once again.

"Isabella, Your Highness, you do not converse with servants. It is quite improper."

"I am conversing with _you_ right now."

"Well, that is different, my dear." She thought she could pull the wool over my eyes, too.

"I do not see the difference," I said defiantly. Why was he any different than her?

She began to explain about status and what the respectful behavior of someone like me should have, but I tuned her out. I could see that she was using her _patient_ voice, which meant that what ever this had to do with, it was something I would 'understand fully' when I was grown,… blah, blah, blah. The logic she attempted to feed me was completely infuriating at times. Specifically now. Though I was not deterred. I would merely have to speak to him in secret, and I knew just how to get to him without anyone else bothering us. I smiled at the thought.

I went about my lessons as I waited to carry out my secret appointment and they seemed to be even more tiresome than usual. Today, I had dance and piano before literature. I sighed. I grew wary of learning the waltz—having no coordination did not assist me, either—and though I adored playing the beautiful pianoforte in my bedchamber, I did not feel as confident in the parlor where my overall lack of dexterity was on display. Especially when playing Liszt. It was mortifying. Yet, the day was not a complete misuse of time as I was given new literary works to analyze and sharpen my mind through various tales and accounts.

Being born a princess, I should have been pretty, graceful, charming... Often enough though, I could see some disappointment from my Father and Mother. They encouraged me properly and spoke of patience, but no amount of speech would make my being into the supposed princess that I am. It seemed more of a jest than actuality. I buried my nose in the tattered pages of my favorite novels, dreaming I had been ransomed into a world that was not my own.

Finally, it was supper. I entered the dining hall, greeting Mother and Father with our usual affections, and took my place on the left side of Father. It was a quiet affair, as usual, though Mother attempted to _inquire_ about my instruction. "Isabella, your tutors seemed quite concerned with your performance today. What have you to say about this?" She asked sternly.

"Forgive me, Mother, but I do not believe they should be unhappy with my learning," I said, pondering for the best excuse I could give for my lack of focus. "I was merely, um, unable to concentrate."

"Due to what distraction?" She queried.

"Um, well…" Drat. I seemed to have no fortune this day…

"Isabella, you must pay attention to your studies. How can you expect to behave properly and learn to govern, if your head is in lost in the clouds all day?" I could tell she expected an answer, so I merely agreed with her, and the subject was dispersed. Father seemed lost in thought as I gazed at his face. Worn with the strains of running a kingdom, he seemed to grow troubled more each day.

I withheld my frown, wishing that I had someone I could speak freely to. Someone who would not think ill of me. I longed for a sibling, or even a friend, to share my thoughts with. But, I did not have anyone such as that…yet.

After we had finished, I retired to my chamber feeling the depletion of a day's duties. I became quite restless as I quickly dressed for bed before dashing to the secret place next to my bed. I opened the wall and entered the labyrinth hidden beyond. Though I had explored little in this place, I did know the general direction of where the boy's chamber would be. I moved as quickly as possible and peered through the crack in the wall that looked out to the hall before the servants' quarters. I moved to open the wall and discover the boy's room, but stopped, as I heard the sound of foot falls approaching quickly. It was none other that Mrs. Newton and the boy I sought out. His arm was tightly in her grasp as she heaved him through the hall. I saw what appeared to be blood on his back and moved to follow the sound of her voice through the wall as she scolded him while pulling him along.

I waited by the secret door to his chamber, waiting for his Mistress' steps to be gone.

Once I could be sure she would not return, I moved the wall as silently as possible and stepped into the poorly lit room. He was lying on a small cot, soiled and stiff-looking, whimpering into his single pillow. I moved closer to where he lay. "Hey!" I whispered, and suddenly, his soft cries stopped. "What is the matter?" Though, it was clear that he must be in pain, I still could not figure out anything better to say.

He looked at me then, wide-eyed, as if in shock. "Are you all right?" I queried again, since he had not spoken yet. I waited a long moment before he nodded and wiped away the leftover tears from his cheeks. He looked even more sad than I had seen him before, and I turned away to focus on the room so that I would not be rude by just staring at him. It seemed that he had no belongings of any kind, no kinds of diversion or even a cozy place to sit and gather one's thoughts. It was very cold, too. How strange.

"Is this cot your only furnishings? Where are your toys and clothes and things?" He had yet to speak to me, though I was doing my best to converse with him. Did he not know how rude his silence was? "Why don't you say something? Can't you speak?" I asked, knowing that he could. He nodded, but I did not seek him out to only hear silence. "Why won't you answer me properly, then?"

Something in his face changed as he looked at me, and then, in almost barely a whisper, he said, "I'm not allowed."

Though I was told this, I did not think that he would be fearful of my attempts to speak with him. Perhaps he feared I would tell Mrs. Newton? I tried to think of a way I could make him believe me. Then I had an idea. "Well, we can keep it a secret! Our very own secret!" I giggled, there was no one I could have secrets with before… Maybe this boy could be that one. "What's your name?"

He smiled then for some reason and quietly answered, "Edward."

Edward.

It was a nice name. It suited him. Deciding not to waste anymore time, I moved to take his hand in mine and led him back to my room, where we could both be at ease.

I led Edward through the labyrinth back to my chamber and quickly moved to extinguished the lights to make sure that no one knew I had a guest.

Edward seemed to be frozen in place. I moved back over to him and led him to the tent I had made after reading a story about travelers. He sat reluctantly and did not seem to feel safe yet, so I tried to get him speaking again. It seemed asking questions was the way to proceed, but then he called me _Princess_, and I did not like that he was trying to be like the rest of them. "Don't call me Princess. We're friends now. Just call me Bella." He hesitated, but eventually did call me by my name.

Remembering that he must still be hurting from whatever had made his back red with blood, I realized I could not expect him to play adventurer with wounds such as these, now could I? I moved to get the washing bowl from the hearth, and managed to have him lay inside the tent. I cleaned his wounds then, trying to be gentle as his body shook now and then. I began speaking again, wondering if maybe telling him about me would make him want to speak. Though it did work a little, I could tell that he was tired_._

_It _is _late_, I thought, _and __I __will __have __studies __in __the __morning_…

As I finished clearing away the smudges from Edward's back, I decided it was best to rest now, and play later. I lay next to him, feeling like I finally had someone who could be my true friend, and put my arm around his shoulders.

I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep. Maybe Edward did not know it yet, but we were going to be great friends for a long time. I just knew it.

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**A/N: Wow I'm really excited for the few of you who have reviewed and/or put this in favorites/alerts. It means so much that you think my story is worth your time! So thank you!**

**I know it's pretty slow right now—Even I'm telling myself to hurry up and get going—but I'm just establishing a few things, so please have patience. Also, there WILL be a time jump (or two) in the near future (it will most likely be the 4th chapter), so don't worry, we will definitely see them in more mature stages. Hehe.**

**Chapter 3 should be up in the next few days since I've already written most of it.**

**Oh… and before you go, could you click that little button below and review? Please? ;)**


	3. Queries

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

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Chapter 3 – Queries

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EPOV

The heat was beating down on my back, causing a slight pink on my pale skin. I had to work outside in the garden today. It was midday already, and it was hot. The bright, summer sun was high above, leaving no chance for anything or anyone to escape its harsh glare. As I continued to sow and water and trim the earth beneath me, I began to wonder if she would really be there when I returned.

Would she realize her mistake in trying to become my friend? I could barely even perceive what her reasons were. Perhaps she was trying to keep my silence about her wanderings? No. She was too far above me for that… Maybe she had grown bored and wanted to stir up some kind of excitement? No, she had taken care of my wounds and… and… _held_ me, as though I were a beloved brother.

I sighed.

No, there was no way I could understand this girl. We were too dissimilar. From different worlds with different upbringings. That much was despairing enough without noting how young we were. Yes, I did realize the gloomy existence of my youth. This was especially true when I first noticed the families in town. How kids ran around and played while their parents watched them. Gently scolding while their love was still clear. I longed for my mother in those moments. Though I do not know her, I hoped that there was a strong reason we were separated, yet I could not imagine why.

Later, I decided to take on some responsibility while I had lived at the workhouse. Trying to care for those smaller than me. Hopefully showing them some care and concern as though they had a parent. It was only when I was alone that I let my guard down. That I really allowed myself to feel like the kid that I was. Alone and lost.

"Ow!" I was broken out of my thoughts when a sharp pain went through my finger. I looked and noticed small sliver had been made in my skin from the thorny bushes I had been cutting. A tiny drop of blood came out, and I put my finger to my mouth, licking the coppery substance away. Yuk.

At least I could not break anything easily in this space; my previous place, in the kitchen, was full of breakables. Usually, I had a hard time focusing when I was lost in thought, hence my slip. Thus, moving to this position in the garden was good, since my mind was going a million miles a second. I still had a hard time figuring out what had happened that night.

I lost myself again, thinking about this morning…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I awoke with a start. It seemed that it was early, just before the breaking of dawn.

_Where am I?_

I tried to move but there was a weight on my body. I looked up, and saw her. The Princess. …_The __Princess!_ What was she doing here? I would be flogged again for sure! I looked around noticing the warmth around me, the softness below me, and then, it all came flooding back…the wall!

I rubbed my eyes, waiting for the images around me to disappear. But they didn't.

I looked over at the Princess and noticed she was now awake, staring at me intently. She pulled her arm off of my body and moved to sit. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, and as the seconds passed where she did not speak, I began to grow fearful again. Maybe it was a dream after all. Maybe I had been walking in my sleep? ...Though I never had before. Brilliant. How foolish could I be?

"Forgive me, Your Highness! I am truly sorry! Your servant does not know how he came to be here—" I was silenced quickly as she put her hand over my mouth. My eyes widened. Why was she touching me? I hadn't even realized she was moving towards me.

"Will you stop your insufferable whining?" She hissed and gave me a pointed look, glancing towards her chamber door and back.

Not knowing what else to do I nodded and answered, "Yes, Princess," though I could not say it properly with her fingers still covering my lips.

She dropped her hand, and her eyes narrowed. "I told you, Edward, do not call me princess." Apparently, she had been able to discern my words. She yawned then, stretching her arms over her head before smiling at me. "Well, I suppose there is no time to play about today. I have lessons." She said, looking sad. "I suppose you have duties as well?"

I nodded.

"Then we will have to wait until after the evening meal." For what, I did not know. "At what hour—" She stopped speaking as there was noise coming from behind her chamber door. "Hide!" She whispered. "Move behind the coverings. Do not make a sound." The Princess moved to lie across the opening of the small space, taking off her necklace, and waited as I crawled more fully into the tent, to the darkest corner, just as we heard the sound of the great door being opened.

Then there was a voice. "Isabella?" A pause. "Oh, there you are. I thought I heard you stirring. Your Highness should not be sleeping on the floor, like some lowly peasant," the voice scolded. "What would your mother and father say of your behavior?" The voice was moving closer to us. "Your Highness should not be awake at such an hour, but it seems to you mean to try my patience prematurely this day."

"I have no such intentions." The Princess retorted back. Again, my eyes were wide—with fear, instead of shock, this time. "I merely awoke without my locket. I left it here before retiring and have retrieved it now. I am returning to bed. Thank you, Mrs. Stanley." She rose, and moved across the room.

Though I could not see Mrs. Stanley, I could here the annoyance in her voice when she spoke again. "Very well, Your Highness. I shall return at a later hour." A moment later her quick footsteps moved back towards the door before she shut it, signaling that she was gone.

"Edward!" The Princess whispered from across the room. I moved to let our eyes meet and released the breath I had been holding. "Come, we must get you back before you are missed."

As soon as I was close enough, she took my hand in hers again, just like last night, and opened the secret door in the wall next to her bed. She turned and smiled before pulling us forward. She lit the candle and we were moving through the dark walkways again. I tried to look around myself and see what I could, like the downward slope of our direction, but she was too fast for me to notice anything else—pulling me through the path as if we were being followed—until we came to a dead end with a small, brass handle on it. Just like the one before her room. The door was opened, and we were back to where I had been locked in and crying the night before. It seemed horribly sad compared to the brightness of her room.

A giggle escaped her, "I do love a good intrigue. You should have seen her face. The old witch had no idea you were even there! Imagine the fun we could have in fooling her!" Another laugh. I smiled, not quite sure if I should be laughing or not. Suddenly, the Princess became somber. "I suppose I must go now," she said sadly, looking toward the floor.

Was she waiting for me to say something? "I suppose," I replied, after a long pause.

Her eyes met mine then. "Well, I shall call on you tonight. After supper. Then we will begin our intrigues and adventures!" Her brown eyes seemed to sparkle then, all sadness forgotten.

I had no idea what she meant, but I nodded.

Letting go of my hand then, she moved to embrace me, throwing her arms around my torso. I stiffened, but then relaxed as she pressed her face in my chest. More confusing, I moved to embrace her as well, placing my cheek on top of her head. She smelled like strawberries.

"Goodbye, Edward," She whispered. "I shall miss you today."

_Huh? _

She pulled back then to look at me. She seemed to be awaiting an answer, so I said farewell to her. But that was not enough, apparently. "Will you not miss me, also?"

"Yes, Princess." And strangely enough, I knew I would.

"Don't call me princess."

"Yes, …uh, um, Bella." It was still too strange.

_Bella_ smiled then, and quickly crawled back through the secret door, pulling it shut behind her. I stood in shock. There were so many questions running through my head. It felt as if my mind would erupt because I was trying to think about all of them at once.

I still could not make sense of it before I was summoned for my daily duties and chores a few moments later.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"Edward!" I was startled out of the memory as the groundskeeper was shouting at me. "Wake up, boy. Couldn't ya hear me shouting yer name?"

"I am sorry, sir. I was too focused on my work."

"Aye. Yer 'focusing' is the reason I'm stuck with ya today." He replied, unhappily. "And never mind with the _sir_ talk. Well, you can be off to the house now. I am finished with ya."

"Yes, Liam. Thank you." I had not noticed it was already near twilight, the sun fading fast behind the western cliffs.

I headed for the house, leaving Liam muttering under his breath for some reason. Strange. He normally was not one to have an uneven temper. Perhaps he did not like it that I had been assigned to help him…

As I walked back towards the servants' entrance near the greenhouse, I noticed that King Charles was there, speaking with another gentleman, though I did not recognize him. He was quite tall, taller than the King's five-foot-nine frame. With broad shoulders and long, dark blonde hair that was tied back. For some reason, curiosity got the best of me then, and I moved closer to the tall shrubs next open glass doors to listen to what they were speaking of. They were quarreling.

"—will not meet with him! How many times must I reiterate myself? There is no desire for this kingdom to create any alliances with your king. Especially concerning her."

"I am in understanding with your wishes, Your Majesty. I merely bring the request of my Master, that in uniting our lands, we will have greater diplomacy throughout the lands of our people. It would be most wise and… _prudent _for Your Majesty to join his with ours. Surely this joining will only ensure the continued peace that has been long held since the old wars."

"I advise that you tell your Master that we shall have no joining with negotiations such as these." The King replied; he seemed to be in a short temper with this man. "Mr. Stanley? Please show Ambassador Hunter out of the palace. I am no longer in need of his service."

The ambassador seemed to be angry, but he hid it well. "Very well, Your Majesty. I shall tell my Master of your determination. Good day."

"Good day, James." And with that parting, the man, James, stalked from the greenhouse with Mr. Stanley, the royal attendant to the palace. The King remained behind, looking quite upset from whatever agreement James was attempting to negotiate for his ruler. I realized that darkness had settled upon the last of the daylight, and silently made my way back towards the servants' entrance to report back to my Mistress.

I ended my day with assisting with the dishes from supper. I was truly thankful when Ms. Cope, or Cook as she was usually called, saved me some leftovers. Part of my punishment for whatever I had done yesterday was that I received no meals today. But for some reason Cook had a soft spot for me, so she hid a plate of meat and cabbage from the Mistress giving it to me while she saw to other duties.

As soon as I was finished and was allowed to retire, I nearly ran to my room.

I wrenched the door open and shut it quickly before letting my eyes scan the room. She was here. Waiting for me. She stood from where she had been sitting on my cot and moved until she could place her hand in mine. My heart sped. "It is about time! Do you know how long you have kept me waiting?" She asked.

"I am sorry."

"Well, I will forgive you… I suppose," she said after a long pause. Then we were off through the secret door. My heart continued to pound. Here we go again…

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**A/N: Okay, next chapter we're going to be moving ahead a bit, so hang on to your hats!**

**For some clarification, Mrs. Stanley is Bella's lady-in-waiting. Mrs. Newton is kind of a overseer of the other servants that are not directly assigned to the royal family (which is why Edward is in her charge). Thus, Mrs. Stanley can order Mrs. Newton around because of seniority. Make sense? Lol let me know if not. :) Again, thank you guys for taking the time to read my story! Please review? :D**


	4. Repose

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

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Chapter 4 – Repose

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BPOV

_**6 Years later…**_

"You do realize that I shall not give up my pursuit until I find you?" He shouted.

I covered my mouth to muffle the sound that escaped me. Suddenly, I heard quick footsteps. Drat! He had heard me! I quickly made my way around the trees, moving further into the forest with as little noise as possible. I had to be careful. He was too clever in discovering me. I made my way into the tall grass of the nearby meadow, lying flat so he couldn't see.

"Isabella," he sang, menacingly. His voice was closer than I had guessed. I held my breath. "Where are you?"

He had come to a stop—mere inches from my head—and was scanning the brush. No doubt he had seen me run in this direction. My heart was pounding. All I could make out of him in the thick grass were his shoes. After a moment he began moving away.

I waited.

After another moment I couldn't hear anything but the gentle wind above me. Cautiously, I poked my head out of the grass, looking around for any sign of him. Minutes past. My heart began to slow its frantic rhythm. I laughed with relief. I had finally beaten him at his game. But…where had he gone? Possibly back toward the palace?

I began moving back the way I had came, feeling lighter and carefree.

Swiftly, something caught my left ankle. I screamed, falling forward to the ground. Looking back at my foot I could see that what had caught me was a pale, strong hand. "Gotcha!" He bellowed in triumph.

"AHH! Edward! That was _not_ funny!" I shouted at him, attempting not to perish from my racing pulse. He laughed wickedly, pulling my captured person toward him.

"I thought it was quite entertaining," he laughed again. "So, I suppose it is your turn to be my seeker?"

I gave him a sour look. "Certainly not! I do not wish to play games where you cheat."

"And how, pray tell, do I cheat? You should not have given up your location. _That_ was your untimely, er, downfall." I did not miss the double meaning in his words as he erupted with laughter again.

"Very well, if you mean to insult me, perhaps I shall find another way to amuse myself without you." Though, I had no idea how to accomplish that.

Ever since I had made Edward my friend, I could not figure out how I had had any sort of joy before his presence. Each night we would seek adventure by imagining ourselves as pirates or explorers, seeking the most infamous of treasures; we would conceive plans of intrigue to carry out on the other servants and such. Or finding our adventures in the cover of the forest bordering the palace on Sundays, where the servants and Edward are given holiday from their duties.

"Oh, dear Princess, you would not banish me from your sight so easily, would you?"

"Edward, do not call me princess."

"As you wish," he said with a crooked smile.

We continued to lie in the grass for some time. I turned on my back, enjoying the sunlight on my face. Fair weather was not very common in the kingdom of Forcelle. Edward was lying beside me on his stomach, picking the grass and weaving it through his fingers. I twisted my head and could see that he was lost in thought. His eyes were distant, as if focusing on something far away. I often had seen that look, but for some reason it left me with an uneasy feeling. "Edward?"

"Hmm?" He replied, absently.

"What are you thinking of?"

His eyes snapped to mine then, and his face frowned in confusion. "What?"

"I inquired as to what you were thinking about," I said, rolling to the side to face him while propping my head up with my hand. "You looked as if your mind were far from here." And I did not like it. Not at all.

"I am sorry," his frown deepening, "my thoughts get away from me sometimes." He hesitated for a moment before speaking again. "It seems as though there are moments where it's as if time has moved without my knowledge. Like I am asleep, without knowing it until someone gains my attention…" He paused. "Does that sound strange?" He appeared to be trying to lift the suddenly somber mood.

"Yes," I replied seriously, after a moment. "Yet, I find your strange qualities quite captivatingly amusing." I smiled, showing him my words were only teasing.

Edward smiled, lightening the atmosphere around us. I felt myself relax then. What _was_ strange was to see how much my body responded to his. He could be upset, or happy, or anxious; no matter what it was, I could sense it. It was as if a connection tethered us together, creating a harmony in our companionship.

No matter my curiosity about this subject though, I felt that it was not something I could speak of… Yet, I was not sure why I did not want to.

"So…," he began after some time. "When would you like your birthday present?"

I groaned. "What do you mean, 'when'? I thought we agreed that you would not give me anything. I understand that you wish to give me gifts, but honestly, there is nothing I want from you that you have not already given me. As long as I have you, Edward, I am happy." And I meant it. I moved closer to him, and he wrapped his arms around me, pressing me to his chest. If I never had to move again, it would be perfectly all right.

"As I am happy with you," he said quietly in my ear. "But I did go to quite drastic lengths in acquiring this particular offering. You would not be so unkind as to refuse my extensive efforts?" He asked, feigning concern.

"I suppose not…" He knew how guilt could stop my complaints. How could I say no if he went to _extensive__efforts_ just for me? Oh, well.

"That's my girl." I could hear the smile in his voice. "Now, I think it is time to get back to the palace. You don't want to be missed." He stood then, pulling me up after him. Though returning was the last thing I wished for, I knew Edward was right. It was nearing twilight, and Mrs. Stanley became rather anxious if I stayed out any amount of time after nightfall.

He kept my hand in his as we made our way through the forest. It was always nice just walking with him. There are many times that I find myself truly grateful for having a best friend.

Father and Mother did not seem to be too concerned with my interests or spending time with me for as long as I could remember. In fact, Father seemed to become more distressed in the last year than I had ever seen him. Though he did often give me extraordinary gifts—fine dresses, elegant desserts and chocolates, handsome jewelry with bright colored stones—in order to confirm his affections for me. I did adore his gifts, but I often wished he would spend more time with me. Yet, I knew that was impossible. Mother, oppositely, appeared to focus more on her role by choice; she seemed to always be arranging balls or re-designing the color scheme of a room. It was a rather frivolous duty, and I hoped that I was given more essential things to do then arrange a table seating when I would be Queen.

Edward and I had reached the edge of the forest, where we had to part; we could not take the chance of being seen together by someone. He embraced me then, saying goodbye.

"Will you not stay with me tonight?" I asked him. He often slept in my chamber, being too tired to navigate the dark catacombs within the walls once we had laughed and had our amusements. I was so used to him, it was difficult at times to sleep without his presence.

"I may have to rise early." He warned. "The Mistress will probably have me polish all the silver. Again. Though I just did, not two days ago."

"We really need to get rid of her." I said with distain. "How can I steal you away when she gives you pointless appointments?" I sighed. "It does not matter, though. I still want you to stay with me. We'll go to bed early." He eyed me skeptically at the last statement. "I promise."

"Very well, then." He kissed the top of my head. "I shall see you soon, my Princess."

He walked away then, leaving me to wait for enough time to pass before I could follow. When he was quite a distance away, I called his name. He turned, already knowing what I was about to say. "Do not call me princess!" I shouted to him. He smiled, and turned to walk the rest of the way.

I made my way inside, avoiding the bane of my existence, and made it to my chamber to dress for supper. For some reason, no one appreciated when my dress was covered in grass and dirt stains. As I was about to exit my chamber, I noticed there was something sitting next to a bouquet of brightly colored wild flowers, set on the small table in between the wing back chairs that faced the fireplace, which were not in my room earlier. I must have overlooked them in my haste to get dressed. I took a small moment now to stop and breathe in the flowers and gaze at the small, wrapped gift next to it. There was no writing on it, but I knew whom it was from anyway. Unwrapping the gift, I saw that it was a book. I smiled widely as I read the title, _Alice__'__s__Adventures__in__Wonderland_. This looked to be a relatively new work, and while I ran to meet Mother and Father for supper I began to wonder how Edward could have possibly obtained it.

As we began, it seemed that our evening meal was to be the usually dull event, until Father decided to speak. "Isabella, I trust that your lessons have been going well?"

"Yes, Father," I replied, surprised.

"Are you prepared for your coming out, as well? I know it can be a perplexing experience." There was sadness to his tone, as if he were concerned.

"I believe so. Mother and Mrs. Stanley have been seeing to it that I behave properly. It seems—"

"Very good, precious. I shall…look forward to your enjoyment," he said, stopping me from further speech. He smiled lightly. "Perhaps you shall have an admirer before the night is out." He paused then, staring at me as if he had not realized my age until this moment. "You have become quite a beautiful young lady." The smile became a bit grim. "It is strange to think of you so grown up, when I have barely noticed. Soon you shall be engaged and then a married woman, and I shall see even less of you." He reached out and traced my check with the affection that I had missed for so long.

"Well, you must remember, my dear, that it will not be too soon," Mother spoke. "There is no one who has claim to our sweetheart, now." I glanced at her quizzically before returning my gaze to Father, who seemed to be angered suddenly.

Just as I was about to ask what was the matter, Mother spoke again quickly, "Isabella, you should eat so you can be off to bed soon. You have a big day tomorrow with preparing for your party."

"Yes, but what were you just speaking of?" I did not let her obvious distractions get in the way.

"Nothing, precious. You should do what your mother has suggested now," Father replied, but I knew there was something they were keeping from me. I detested that.

"What do you mean, _claim_ to me? Do I belong to someone else?" My eyes narrowed in suspicion, but neither one of them would answer my inquiries. After a moment, I was impatient. "Are you not going to explain yourselves?" I demanded. Father did not seem to appreciate my outburst.

"That is enough, young lady! You will go to bed at once. And I do not wish to hear one more question from you on this subject. Is that understood?" His face was red, as mine was, I am sure.

I composed myself, trying to hold back the sudden anger. "Very well. As you desire, _Your __Majesty_." I sped from the dinning hall, holding back angry tears until I could reach the safety of my room. I collapsed on my bed, not bothering to turn on the lights, and crawling near the center I buried my face in a pillow, weeping bitterly for the confusion I felt. How was I supposed to understand my life, when there were things purposely hidden from me? I did not want to think on them now. I only wanted to forget for the time being.

Then, I felt my bed shift from the opposite side, and two strong hands pulled me against a warm body. "Shh…" Edward hushed me, "whatever happened, it will be all right. Please do not cry, angel."

"No, it will not be. But it does not matter now." I sniffed, and turned to bury my face in his chest. "How do you always know when I need you?" I asked, though the fabric of his tunic muffled it.

"I just do." He paused. "Do you wish to tell me about what happened?"

"No. Not now, please. I cannot."

"All right. There is no need, if you say so," After a moment he moved off the bed, and shifted me so I could set my feet on the ground. "Come. Get dressed for bed, and I will stay."

I nodded. He led me towards the dressing screen before moving to sit in one of the wingback chairs. I changed as quickly as I could, removing my dress and petticoats before placing my nightdress around my shoulders and tying it closed. The tears had slowed now, but it still hurt to not know why… I stopped myself there. Not tonight.

I moved to where Edward sat and watched him as he stared into the blaze before him. My hand moved out and I ran my fingers through his soft locks—the color of fire, and just as untamed— to get his attention. He turned, smiling softly. I took his hand and we both climbed into the large bed. He pulled me against him then, my back against his chest, and I was content as he ran his fingers through my hair. My whimpers were spent almost instantly at his touch. Edward certainly knew how to calm me.

After a while, I had relaxed. I was not sleepy yet, though I did feel tired. Edward was still running his fingers though my hair, and for a moment I wondered if I should say something for my behavior. I did not know what to say, and remembering his gifts I abruptly uttered a "thank you."

Both hands held me tighter. "There is no need to thank me, angel. I detest seeing you upset, you do n—" I cut him off, turning to cover his mouth with my fingers.

"No. I meant for your gift." I said, smiling a bit that he had misunderstood me.

Edward smiled then as I moved my hand away. "I had hoped you would like it. Alice appears quite adventurous, so it seemed rather perfect for you. Though, I must admit that the name caught my eye first."

"Alice?" I questioned stupidly.

"Yes... Despite the fact that I do not have any Alices in my acquaintance."

"Hmm…" I mumbled, not really knowing what else to say. Then, I asked, "Will you read some to me?"

"You know that my skill does not match yours yet. I shall ruin it," He protested.

I had been teaching Edward to read over the last few years, as I had found out that he had never received the opportunity in that awful workhouse. It was one of the many studies I had decided to become tutor to, because I wished Edward to be just as well versed in the world as I had to be; my intentions at the beginning may have been more based on selfishness than strict kindness, possibly. And though Edward had never had instruction in many things, he seemed naturally gifted in learning information, and writing with his naturally gorgeous script. Yet, of everything we undertook, there seemed to be a hidden prodigy in him as I began his piano instruction. I smiled as I remember watching his long fingers move along the ivories. It was as if he had found a missing piece of himself. Often I loved to hear him play, as I was not as graceful as he.

"You know that is not true, and even if it were, practice makes perfect." I argued. He shook his head. I guess it was time to use persuasion. "Please, Edward? _Please_?" I said, making my eyes big and pouting my lower lip with exaggeration.

"Ugh. How can I say no to you, now?" He said, leveling me with a reproachful look, though I knew he was not truly upset with me. He moved to retrieve the book and read the first chapter, only stumbling on a few words. I was lulled by his soft, warm tone.

Finishing the chapter, he closed it and let it drop to the floor. "Okay, time to sleep."

"Very well," I yawned. Edward pulled me to him again, this time my head lay on his chest. "Goodnight, Edward."

He brushed his lips against my head, whispering, "Goodnight, Bella."

I slept then, not worrying about what troubles tomorrow could produce, only focusing on my comforts of present.

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**A/N: Wow, inspiration was great this week for some reason… Hmmm… Could Eclipse have something to do with that? Hale Yes! LOL**

**So the next update might be in a little more than a week (not sure yet) because I will be travelling from this Sunday through the beginning of August. I am working for a camp and we'll be in some different locations, but I know that I will have down time to write, I just don't know how often it will be yet. :/ Anywho, I will hopefully talk to you next week (at the latest). At least we all have Eclipse to look forward to! Can't wait for that midnight showing! (Yes, not even work is stopping me from seeing it! LOL)**

**Take care! **

**3 Amy **

**Ps. …Review, please?**


	5. Uncertainty

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Sooooo sorry about the delay guys! 4 weeks is WAY too long! Anyway, instead of listening to my excuses, let get on with it for now! Please read my A/N at the end. Thanks! Here's Edward!**

**Enjoy!**

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Chapter 5 – Uncertainty

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EPOV

I could not seem to rest my mind this night. Musings flowed fluidly, not allowing any peace as I lay with Bella in my arms. She had drifted to sleep as soon as I had finished reading, not a worry as to her troubles.

Sometimes I envied her ability to push past the discomforts and difficulties that she had borne at times. Though they seemed to be far and few between, I would never be able to endure and strive the way she could. My thoughts were mainly centered on her birthday celebration tomorrow.

Thirteen is the age where she would finally be introduced to the whole kingdom formally. There were many expectations already on her, many of which were purely theoretical, yet, tomorrow, each of her lessons would come to be more practical. This much was repeatedly told to Bella by her mother in the last few weeks. Though Bella did realize what was about to happen, I did not believe that she fully understood what being recognized would do to her expectations of life. Not to mention our relationship.

I felt utterly selfish for that last thought, but I thought—and meant—it nonetheless.

How could I even begin to describe the way my life has changed since Bella came into it? In my wildest imagination I could never have dreamed of a being as magnificent as she. Kind, intelligent, giving, witty, mesmerizingly beautiful; all these superlatives and more came to mind when my thoughts lingered around her. The last six years have been the best of my life, and it was all because of Bella. I actually could be the child I was when she would fetch me to play our games.

I smiled, remembering.

Whether we were bandits of the East—stealing chocolates from Cook for our booty, or climbing trees to escape the invisible Wild-men that hunted our flesh, I never tired of her imagination. There was always 'danger' lurking over us, and I often found myself being drawn into these alternate realities, fighting for and saving our lives from the greatest of perils.

Lately, it seemed that with the coming of Bella's birthday, that would change. She would now attend balls, go on outings with the nobles of the court who would seek her approval, making appearances…

_Would __she __still __have __time __for __me?_ I asked myself.

_Of course not. You cannot be apart of her life when she is so far above you._

I recoiled from my inner musings. No. Bella would not leave me behind. Not purposefully. Her time would have more demands on it, though, and I would accept that. As long as I could still be near her once in a while, as long as she allowed my presence, I would be content. With that thought I allowed my conscious to drift into sleep.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

It was nearly dawn when I awoke, and I had to leave the comfort of Bella's arms. Just as I began to move away, she stirred, and her fingers wound themselves around the fabric of my tunic, not releasing my person. Smiling, I whispered, "I must go, Bella." She shook her head sleepily, nestling her body closer to mine while pulling me back toward her. "Yes, angel. I would stay with you all day, happily in fact, but I must attend my duties."

A less than lady-like groan came from her throat as her fingers surrendered my apparel. "Very well," she said sleepily, "until tonight, then. Though, I do wish you could accompany me to the ball."

I smiled sadly, though she did not see it because her eyes had yet to open. "Would that I could, my Princess." I brought her hand to my lips, placing a gentle kiss to her knuckles before retreating to the secret passage in the wall next to her bed.

Just before I passed through, she spoke in farewell, saying, "Do not call me Princess."

I laugh quietly as I passed unseen through the hidden passage back toward my chamber in the servants' quarters.

Since she had brought me into her world, I always found that I had to adjust my mannerisms in order to be able to feel that I deserved to be in her presence. She is, after all my superior in every way, though she refuses to believe my arguments. As I became more comfortable being with her, I realized that there were some proprieties that I should hold to. One of these being that I address Bella with her proper title. She did not seem to fare well with that, nor any other act of subservience I desired to bestow on her. Yet, though I did acquiesce to calling her by her name (in both thought and speech), I did not feel that she could ever be treated so abominably by me only speaking of her that way. As if she were only a simple girl. It was quite the impasse. Thus, it was now something that we made a game of. She would never allow me to call her by her title—except the rare occasion of someone seeing us near each other—but I vowed one day she would allow it. That day had not come. Yet. I still pressed forward, determined to show my respect.

It is also quite amusing to watch as her cheeks flushed with annoyance at my teasing determination.

Eventually, the evening came, and many guests of the royal court were in attendance to witness the first public glimpse of Princess Isabella Marie Swan, the only child to Majesties King Charles and Queen Renée.

Unfortunately, I was required to spend most of the night assisting Cook in the palace kitchen. Serving trays to the vast banquet tables, returning dishes, other meaningless tasks… There were moments I would steal away to gaze at the crowd, though I knew little of who was here. Only a few names. There were, at minimum, no less than five and one hundred persons within the Grand Ballroom, all charming and well groomed, in the handsomest dress clothes and jewels, awaiting the Princess' imminent arrival.

The room was ornately decorated in white linens with midnight blue draperies adorning the walls. Fresh ruby-red roses accompanied every surface, and the large dance floor of deep cherry wood was polished to perfection. The royal decorator spared nothing for one of the first celebrations in a long while.

I knew how nervous Bella has been about this night. Being in the presence of a crowd was not her favorite of distractions, but being the center of attention was a far more repellent idea.

A moment later, the King rose with his bride to begin his address to the noblemen and women. He began by speaking greetings, and moved on to his lengthy speech about the Swan family's histories…

I could almost feel the near panic from Bella as she prepared to show herself. I did not know how I could sense her feelings so easily, even when she was not near, but it was a great aid to me now as I moved quickly behind the curtains in the corner and rounding the corridor I slipped into the room where she waited.

Bella turned to face me, hearing my entrance, and I gasped at the vision before me.

The dark-haired beauty that stood aloft was clad in a shimmering gown of white silk and lace, soft and undisturbed as the first snowfall of a winter's morning. It was of intricate design, with flowing patterns that created a delicate cosset web around her shoulders, bosom and waist, that continued flowing to the top of the skirt, which swept the floor gracefully. Her small hands were swathed in delicate white gloves. It seemed, too, that she was wearing a corset, which accentuated her petite figure. My eyes moved to her face, and I was taken aback at seeing her brown eyes wide with anxiety, her cheeks flushed and pink lips slightly parted in surprise. Her long, dark hair was piled upon her head in braids and curls, with ringlets framing her heart-shaped face beautifully. A simple tiara completed her elaborate hairstyle that was tucked neatly into the front of her curls.

_Exquisite_.

"Edward?" Bella whispered quietly as she ran to my side, bringing me out of my trance. I shook my head, and tried to pay attention to what Bella was saying. "What are you doing here?"

"…um, hm?" She asked me something… Did she not?

She had never worn anything like this. She actually looked like… "You look like a girl." I marveled.

Her eyes narrowed, "because I _am_ one, you ninny!" All sign of apprehension was dispersed.

I realized too late that my comment was not of the best description, but it was still true. "Yes, but you _look_ like one. You are…lovely." It was quite the transformation. The Bella that I knew never wore fancy dresses or fashionable hairstyles. She climbed trees, explored catacombs, played extraordinary tricks on our elders; all the while her hair would flow freely down her back in soft chestnut curls, her dress covered in mud, or torn from the tree branches. There was always a sparkling glow shining from within her eyes as we had our adventures, and as I searched her face, its absence was not unnoticed. "Are you all right?"

She sighed and nodded as I pulled her into my arms. "I am fine… I suppose. I just wish there was some other way to _present_ me"—she sneered the word—"without all this ceremony. You are right. I do not look like myself at all."

I held her closer, trying to find the proper words of encouragement. Her father was nearly finished with speaking, and it was almost time for her to emerge. "What if they do not like me?" She whispered.

I held her at arms length then, and looked into her eyes. "Here this now. You are Isabella, Princess of Forcelle, Daughter of the King and Queen, Heiress to the Forcelle Crown… and Rescuer of crying boys." I managed to see a small smile appear at the last declaration, though she still had her face pointed toward the carpets. I placed my fingers under her chin, raising her gaze to mine. "You look down to no one. Least of all them," I said, nodding towards the curtain. "You are a jewel amongst pebbles. You may be dressed differently, but you are still my Bella. Show them the girl I know, and no one shall be able to resist your charms."

She took a deep breath and stepped back, determination in her eyes. "You are right. Who are they to intimidate me?" With a smile she turned towards the curtain, hearing he father's introduction, and moved to be seen by all the guests. I moved to peek behind the veil and watched as Bella's audience began to murmur as she descended into the Ballroom.

Bella was grace and elegance, greeting her guests with smiles. It was a sight to behold, but I knew that I must return to my duties. I moved back to the kitchen, feeling joyous in the knowledge of Isabella's success, yet there was also a longing within me. Partly to be with her, dancing and having her on my arm. But another part of my being was struggling to focus as I recounted the beauty in my arms not five minutes ago. Something had changed this night that I had not anticipated. As to what that might be exactly, I had not the slightest idea.

I returned to the kitchen, receiving a verbal scolding from Cook and glares from the other servants who were attempting to compensate for my absence. Jessica, Mrs. Stanley's daughter, was not particularly pleased as she pushed past me in a fit of anger.

Every moment I could, I stole glances at Bella. She became more breathtaking each moment I watched. At times, she would converse, but most often I would see her dancing. Many young men danced with Bella, and I had to fight the urge to steal her away from them all.

They were too confident, too boisterous in attempting to gain her attentions. I loathed them and their pompous views of life.

As I sought her out now, I could see that Bella was speaking with a young woman. She was much shorter than Bella, almost sprite-like, with pale skin and her black hair was cut brazenly short—locks pointed in almost every direction, though not without purpose. She was well dressed in a lavender dress, embroidered with lace and frills. It was a simple, yet well-designed gown.

I was some distance across the room, but from what I could tell, she was speaking very excitedly, and making Bella quite flustered about some topic. Was she an acquaintance? Bella had never mentioned that she had really known anyone in attendance. Suddenly, the girl pulled the Princess into an embrace, as though they were long lost friends. Then, moving to right herself, she suddenly looked up and straight into my eyes.

I froze in astonishment.

My eyes were locked on hers in a connection that I could not break. It was almost as if…as if she had _known_ I was watching them. She smiled warmly at me after a moment, then returned her attention to Bella, speaking shortly and moving further into the crowd of guests.

My heart was racing suddenly. Who was this girl? Did Bella know her? It _appeared_ that she knew Bella, but I had never seen this young lady before this moment... Had I?

Queries flooded my thoughts as I made my way back toward the kitchen in haste. I placed dishes that were in need of washing in the proper place, and walked back toward the ballroom, determined to find out what I could about the anonymous girl. Just as I reached the end of the empty hallway before the entrance, I caught a glimpse of lavender out of the corner of my eye, entering in to the dark sitting room just before my destination. I followed it.

I tried to see through the darkness as my eyes began to adjust to the faint moonlight coming through the windows.

"It _is_ you," a high-pitched voice said, followed by giggling. It sounded like bells.

Before I could comment on her strange remark, the young woman came toward me and placed her hands on either side of my face, searching intently. I could just make out the piercing blue sapphire of her eyes. They were mesmerizing, holding my gaze as she stared intently into my eyes. It seemed as if she was trying to convey some kind of message, but whatever that was, I did not know.

"Who are you?" I asked.

Her hands fell from my face after a moment, and her expression turned solemn. "You are unaware. I knew it was too soon, but I had hoped… The time has not come." She spoke cryptically, ignoring my question. Before I could ask to what she was referring, she spoke again. "Soon, Edward. All shall be revealed, but you must wait until the proper time."

"Whatever intrigue you are playing is not amusing in the slightest." I sneered. "Tell me who you are, and how you came to know my name." I was suddenly upset. How did she know me? She had clearly sought my acknowledgement, though she was dressed as a noble. She must be in someone's service. Did she not understand that it was a criminal offense to dress above one's station? I was prepared to discover her intentions, but I still required more basic answers. "Speak."

She smiled sadly. "We are the lost ones. No one knows who I am, not even you." Her vision became distant then, as if she were looking beyond this room. "They seek, and they will find, just as they always do. Take heed Edward. Do not expose yourself to any other."

"I cannot understand-"

"No need. I must go." The girl dashed to the door. "Take care of her," she pleaded abruptly and with that parting, she disappeared from sight. I raced out to the hall, but she must have already rejoined the festivities. I entered the ballroom, searching frantically, but the girl was nowhere to be found.

Odd.

It seemed that almost all attention was suddenly directed toward the ballroom's main entrance, where a statuesque blond stood in a striking, pale blue dress. I was momentarily distracted and watched her enter the room. Her expression was both meek and fierce simultaneously and though she seemed to capture the notice of everyone, it appeared to be the negative form. Bella was not far from me, and as the blond moved towards her, I noticed that she was wearing a family crest, tied around her neck with the same pale blue color fabric of her dress. I felt as if I had seen the design before; a great lion adorned the center, its paws and fiery tail outstretched in a show of strength; above the head of the lion was a right hand, palm forward as if in pledge or allegiance, and supporting the lion below was the trefoil symbol—three triple-leafed shamrocks shaped in a slight "V" formation.

"Isabella. It is quite the pleasure to finally meet you," the blond said. "I am sure you must be aware of who I am by the welcome I have received." She laughed lightly.

"Of c-course," Bella stammered, "It is lovely to meet you as well, Rosalie." Though she tried to put some warmth behind her greeting, I am sure this Rosalie was aware of Bella's uncertainty. "I am quite pleased that you could attend. Please, I insist that you make yourself comfortable in my home." She smiled then, directing Rosalie through the crowd to sit and speak.

The quiet tumult of gossip began then as the shock of the girl wore off.

"_The nerve of some…"_

"…_why she would be here..."_

"_Who __would __invite __a _Cullen _to__…__?__"_

A Cullen? Did she truly belong to _that_ family?

The Cullens were practically our adversaries, known for treacherous deeds of manipulation and sorcery. It was they who had caused the Great Battles nearly a millennium ago, or so was the claim. There were prophecies about their lineage—wicked, cruel people who could enslave the minds of their enemies and ensnare others with charms and promises of the future.

Utter nonsense.

Nearly one thousand years the people of Forcelle lived in nonsensical trepidation of the neighboring kingdom to the East, Londra, where the Cullen family ruled. I had heard of their ethereal beauty—which seemed to have some truth in Princess Rosalie's features—and charms, but were they really _dangerous_? I could not know for sure.

I watched carefully as the night progressed, but Princess Rosalie never drew any more attention than the existing whispers and queries.

Isabella was charming and witty, seeming to captivate all who had the fortune of her presence. She was so lovely. Too lovely. I noticed that she had captured the attention of many young men who had solicited numerous dances with her. I was often angered by their attentions for my Bella, though I did not fully comprehend my reasons for feeling so.

Perhaps it was that they sought her notice due to her unmistakable beauty? I had always been aware of it and never treated her as any conquest. Why she was put on display for these beasts, I will never comprehend. Had not her mother realized that she would be prey for the unmarried? They would make sport of my Bella, knowing that she was to inherit the crown. They could never see her as I did. The true girl behind the tiara. Sweet, generous, kind, faithful; she was a glorious.

I realized that I had been thinking of Bella's virtues quite frequently as of late. It must have been due to the rapidly approaching future, as I knew that we could not remain this way forever. Yet, if I could, I would make it so that Bella and I were never separated.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"What a strange evening," I said, having just sat in the high-backed chairs the faced the fireplace in Bella's bedchamber.

Upon returning from the party, Bella decided that she was much too distracted to speak of everything. Disappointment flooded my being, but I did as she asked, and had her vow that tomorrow I would hear everything.

"Strange could not begin to cover it. …It was too extraordinary Edward. I could not have anticipated this evening's events even if I were a fortuneteller." She yawned then and moved to lie in her bed before stretching out her arm to beckon me. I laid by her side and drifted to sleep with thoughts of evil families and pixies…

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**A/N: OMGoodness. Between traveling and work, I haven't bee able to write as much as I'd like. Writer's block doesn't help either. Stupid RL! Trust me, I would have rather been writing. I hope you can forgive me! Anywho, my last day of work is the 26th, so I should be able to go back to the regular schedule of once a week updates! :D**

**Soooo… we've met a couple new faces—finally! I'm sure you can guess who the first was. ;) Hit that Review button and let me know what you thought! Please? And thank you!**


	6. Anxious

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Sorry guys, this should have been up on Saturday, but for some reason I couldn't get it to go. *shrugs***

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Chapter 6 – Anxious

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BPOV

Edward and I sat at the top of the stairs of one of the aged turrets—known as the Tower—that led up to the royal holding room, listening to the rainfall outside. It was a safe place for us because no one had been held prisoner here for decades. I was recounting my time during the ball.

"You knew her?"

"I know I have never seen her, yet I felt as if we had met before." The girl with short, dark hair was puzzling. I had told Edward of what she spoke, but it was cryptic, at best, to understand.

"_Isabella! How wonderful it is to see you, at last!"_

"_And you as well," I replied, not wanting to be rude in questioning her identity. "Did you just arrive?"_

_She laughed. "Well, I have been hanging back in the shadows a bit. I know I really should not be speaking with you yet, but it is only a matter of time now, so why wait? Anyhow, it seems that Edward is hiding from me, so I might as well—"_

"_E-Edward?" I stuttered, attempting not to react to the name. It could have been someone else…right?_

"_Yes, Edward. Usually, he is sown to your skirt tails, but the first time I am able to meet you both he vanishes. I was hoping to speak with him finally. Where is he?"_

_I stared, shocked. How did she know of him? _

_I became very nervous all of a sudden, wanting to protect Edward. If she knew we had a friendship, there was no way it could be kept from others for long. That would not end well, I was certain. "Forgive me, but I am not aware of any Edwards that I have a close acquaintance with. Perhaps you are mistaken."_

_She eyed me quizzically before responding. "Oh Bella, you are still amusing. deceit was never your strength." She laughed again and leaned toward me to wrap her arms around my waist. "I cannot wait to see you again." She straightened up, letting go of me, and I noticed she was looking over my shoulder before she returned her gaze to mine and said goodnight._

_She fluttered away then, and I felt strange. As if I were truly sad that she had left my side, though there was confusion and fear that held a great presence, too. _

"_Isabella!" Mother called, and I was introduced to another acquaintance who's name I would no doubt forget instantly…_

"I felt that way, too. Why would a perfect stranger know our names and that we were connected in any other way than the obvious one?" Edward was quite distressed. Though, I was not far from feeling the same.

"What troubles me is how she found out. We have always been careful not to let any other know about us. What if…if she speaks to someone else? What if my father discovers us? What if—"

"What if you stop worrying yourself, and be calm?" Edward had seized my face, and was now staring into my eyes. "I do not know what to make of this, but we cannot live in fear. You need to find out who she is and any ties she may have to the palace."

"Me?"

"Well of course, you. Unless you think_I_ should speak to your mother and inquire as to whom you were speaking with?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Oh, all right! You do not have to be so smart about it." Edward smiled then, and I replied by sticking my tongue out at him. He was right though, I did need to find out about this curious girl and Mother made it a priority to know everyone at court. "That answers one intrigue."

"And the other?"

"Surely you noticed that Rosalie Cullen was in attendance?"

"I did. You seemed to handle that situation well."

"I suppose. I mean, of course we invited the family out of courtesy, but it was surprising that she came, or was allowed to come, with our families at odds."

"Odds? You mean it was not just their name that was the cause of gossip?" He asked.

"Did you not hear my father's speech?" Edward raised an eyebrow, and I remembered that he had been otherwise occupied with a silly girl. "Well, there was some kind of argument between my father and the King of Londra over a decade ago, just after I was born. I have never inquired as to what it was about, but I can tell you that my father has loathed their family since that time. It is fortunate that Rosalie was not run out of the palace."

I sighed.

"Father did leave the room, however. I noticed after greeting her. Why he is determined to be rude to her, I do not know. She was born just before I was. She could not possibly have anything to do with their squabbles. I had been invited to attend her party in the spring, but of course could not, lest I consort with her family." I grew tired of the feud. Though it was far and few between that the Cullens were ever mentioned, Father never spoke any kind words toward them. Ever.

Perhaps if we had not been at odds, I could have had a friend in Rosalie. She was courteous and kind when we spoke, despite the cautious air of her character. It was to be expected.

"At least you can see beyond your father's prejudices, hmm? That is the important thing, my dear. Do not let others dictate your thoughts."

I smiled at him. Edward did seem to know what was best. My appreciation for him was without limit. "Speaking of thoughts, why were you staring at me so strangely last night?"

"I did no such thing," he replied, looking my figure over before turning to stare out the narrow window in front of us.

"You did, too! It was like you had some kind of… spasm and froze." I laughed at the memory, trying to continue speaking, "for a moment I thought you had become dumb."

"Oh, ha ha." His face tinged red despite his attempt to brush my comment away. "I just could not believe that it was you in all that fluff. Nothing more." He stood from the stairs we sat upon.

"If you say so." I was not entirely convinced.

"Come, we must return, before Mrs. Stanley—or any one else for that matter—is suspicious."

"_Noooo_…" I whined in protest. "Not yet. We've only just sat down."

"We have been here nearly two hours. Should we not be more cautious now?" I could hear the reluctance in his voice despite his attempt to draw me back toward the main palace.

"No. Not while I can have time with you. And it is only Saturday. We almost never have extra time. I refuse to squander it." My arms wrapped around his right arm then. He _would__not_ leave me.

Edward stared at me indignantly for a moment before sighing. "Why do I even bother to argue?" He murmured under his breath, clearly speaking to himself and not me.

Of course, I answered anyway. "I haven't the slightest idea," I whispered in his ear, before pulling him upwards toward the holding room.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"Tell me your secrets, thief!" Edward bellowed. He had always been good at trying to intimidate me.

"Never. You shall never make me speak."

He shook his head in false concern. "Then I am afraid I will have to torture you."

"Do your worst!"

A wicked glint filled his eyes as he approached me with outstretched fingers. He hovered over me, leaning in to whisper, "As you wish." Then the torture began as his fingers moved to the sides of my torso, tickling me with vigor. He smiled as I began to struggle, twistedly enjoying my 'anguished' cries!

"Speak!"

My eyes began to water as my laughs became overwhelming. "n-no…. hahahahaha!" But Alas! I did not last much longer. "All right—haha—all right! I'll tell you!" More laughing. "No more, please!" I inwardly cursed myself for not being stronger, but my captor was too sinister to be trifled with. I looked up at him. He was waiting for my answer.

"I do not have all day, thief. Where did you hide my treasures?"

"I cannot possibly remember with these shackles around my arms." I replied innocently. Here in the holding room there were restraints attached to the wall that 'held' me (though my arms were much too small to actually be held prisoner).

He looked at me skeptically. "But if I release you, how can I trust you not to try and escape?"

"I surely would never defy you, my Lord." He smiled then, shaking his head and rolling his eyes as he 'unlocked' my restraints.

"All right, now—HEY! Get back…" I did not hear the rest, as I ran for the stairs. I made it to the bottom, but Edward was directly behind me. And he was fast! I managed to reach the main hall outside the turret before he caught me. Down here, we had to be quiet, lest others heard our diversion.

I moved across the hall and just as Edward was about to come near me, we heard voices.

Both of us moved to the opposite wall and each ducked behind one of the vast curtains that framed the tall windows of the hallway.

"…was no harm done, Your Majesty. Both of our princess' seemed to fair quite well together. Do you not agree?"

I peeked out and saw that it was Father and one of Princess Rosalie's escorts, the Ambassador, actually… What was his name, again? "My daughter has been instructed to be courteous, noting more. We do not wish to maintain any sort of standing amity."

"Your Majesty, please be reasonable. We mean you no harm, only to reestablish good faith…" His words faded as they proceeded down the hall.

I peeked out of my hiding place, and could see Edward doing the same. He turned toward me then, and smiled wickedly.

_Run!_ My mind shouted.

And I did. I was moving quickly away, looking for any place I could escape him. I came to the door of the greenhouse, and immediately moved inside, trying to keep quiet. Of course Edward had seen me and followed.

I managed to reach the other side of the room, and before he could realize where I was, I made a dash for the door leading outside, into the rainfall. It was pouring down, and the muddiness of the ground slowed me.

Edward reached me easily then. Capturing me with such force that we both fell into the mud, his body covering mine.

We were both laughing, breathless as we smiled at each other. "Why must you always try and escape?" He asked, still breathing heavily.

"I suppose I like the chase."

"You mean you like to make _me_ chase. You never run after me," he said with feigned annoyance.

"Perhaps I would, if you did not run like a lion!" I argued.

"And what, dear Princess, does that make you? A lamb? I _am_ quite famished." He roared then, causing me to laugh—a difficult task considering he was still on top of me.

"Do not call me princess!" I laughed again. He laughed, too, but stopped suddenly and stared into my eyes.

All teasing banter dissipated. It was so intense, I could not look away.

"You are staring at me again."

He blinked once. Then twice. He swiftly moved away from me then, taking hold of my arms to help me up. "It's cold. We should get inside."

I nodded, not knowing what to make of his strange behavior, and followed him back into the greenhouse.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"Oh Isabella. You should know that this displeases me greatly. Do you not understand that you have responsibilities now? How can you possibly be covered in mud and soaking wet? Did you not see the storm outside?"

Mother was now reprimanding me as I sat in the bath; Mrs. Stanley was attempting to wash the dirt from my hair.

"I have already told you what happened, Mother. I merely stepped out to enjoy the drizzle for but a moment, and I slipped. Surely you cannot fault me for my moment of clumsiness."

I winced as my maid worked on a bigger knot at the crown of my head.

"I have put up with your childish games for far too long, Isabella. I know it seems you are still young, but there comes a time when we must put away childish fancies and become an adult."

"Yes, Mother."

"I want to hear no more of you playing in the forest, or climbing trees, or playing silly pranks on the servants. Is that understood?"

I did not answer.

_If I could not invent excuses to escape the palace, how could Edward and I have any time together?_

I could not answer that either.

"Isabella? Are you even listening to what I am saying?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Very well, then. From now on I expect to see you properly dressed, groomed at all times, and having nothing to do with superfluous, nonsensical games. Do I make myself clear?"

"As crystal," I said with reluctance.

"Good girl. Now, once you have finished dressing, attend to your studies. I shall see you at supper." Mother smiled then and turned to leave.

She was almost to the door when I remembered, "Mother? May I inquire of someone?"

Turning to face me she replied, "Of whom, dearest?"

"I—I am not sure. There was a young lady that I spoke to at the ball last night. She had a petite frame, with short, dark hair?"

"Indeed!" She lifted her chin in a pompous manner. "I cannot believe that any sort of lady would go about looking as such."

"Do you know of her? I cannot seem to remember her name," I asked, hoping to put an end to the troubling mystery.

Mother's nose wrinkled in distaste, as if I had offended her somehow. "No. I am not aware of that girl, or to whom she belongs." Drat. "Perhaps you should check the registry, my dear. All of the guests are written there."

Somehow, I had a great doubt that she had written her name. I suppose it was still worthy of a look. "Yes. Of course. Thank you, Mother."

She placed her hand upon my cheek, smiling with rare affection. "Until supper, then." With that, she left the room.

After I had dressed and was considered _presentable_, I sat on the floor, near the fire in my room, attempting to focus on my studies. But all I could think about was the future. Or, to be more precise, _our_ future. It was simply too painful to think that Edward and I would not be able to have time together.

No.

No, it is not that we could not spend time with one another, only that I had to be more prudent in choosing our activities. Yes! That was all. We would simply be more careful in our play. Then there would be no evidence to give us away.

I heard the secret wall open slightly then. "Are you decent?" Edward asked.

I laughed. "Yes, though I do wish I had more comfortable clothing to wear."

He emerged from the other side of my bed and came to sit beside me. "Hmm. I see that you are all dressed up again. Is there an occasion I was not aware of?"

I sighed deeply, telling him of the new decree on my appearance. "I suppose we shall have to stay inside most days."

"We?" He looked confused.

"Well, of course we. Do you know of another person that I spend time with?"

"I just thought…" He hesitated.

When he did not speak again, I prompted, "thought what?"

"Thought that… that you would be engaged elsewhere. With others more like—like those at the ball." His timidity was adorable.

"Oh my silly Edward! How could I ever choose to waste perfectly good time with them, when I have someone like you?"

"But I am not like them Bella. I cannot even be seen with you—"

"Hush. Let's not speak of this now." I did not want to think of it.

"If not now, then when? You cannot put this off, Bella. We cannot continue this way forever."

My eyes snapped to his then. "What are you saying? That you are bored of me? Have I done something—"

"No!" He said, covering my lips with his hand to stifle my questions. "How could you think that? I am simply telling you that we cannot stay the way we are now. Things change. After hearing what your mother has demanded, I thought you would have realized that by now. I do not wish it to be so, but we cannot stop time."

I removed his hand, angry now. "I am aware of that, but I refuse to believe that we have to separate because I have these silly responsibilities. I refuse to let you abandon me, Edward. You are the only friend I have! The only one who _accepts_ me. Who _knows_ me." Tears were spilling over my cheeks now, but I paid them no mind. My anger ebbed to sorrow. I looked up.

Edward was watching me with sadness in his eyes.

I moved toward him, placing myself in the circle of his arms. I suddenly needed to ask him something, but I was terrified of the answer. "Edward, do…do you…?"

"What?"

"Do you love me?"

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**A/N: So this one was a bit shorter, I know, but I felt like this was a good stopping point. Oh, and FYI, I have made a Live Journal for CG that will include pictures, and possibly status reports in between chapters. The link is on my profile if you would like to check it out. Until next time!**

**PS. Like it? Hate it? Review…please? :)**


	7. Adjustment

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

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Chapter 7 – Adjust

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EPOV

"_Edward, do…do you…?"_

"_What?"_

"_Do you love me?"_

"Of course," I answered. There was no hesitation. Of all the troubles we have, how could she doubt this? "Of course I love you, Bella." I brought my hand to her cheek, "you know I do. You are my best friend; the only person I have in the whole world."

She looked in my eyes, then, searching. I was not sure what she had been looking for, but she seemed pleased with what she discovered and leaned into my hand as I gently stroked her cheek with my thumb. "I am sorry. I do _know_. I-I suppose I just needed to hear it." She smiled sadly and it pained me. My Princess should not be distressed, but I did not know how to fix it other than to hold her closely and reassure her.

I could not understand why she seemed to be so anxious as of late. Nor why she had accused me of tiring of her so abruptly. I had never seen her so unreasonably upset.

Well, except once.

She had lost her silver locket. The same one she almost always has resting around her neck. There is a problem with the clasp, though, and often enough she would misplace it. This was not a particularly troubling dilemma except one day we had been nearly all over the palace and no matter where we retraced our steps, it was not to be found. The Princess was driven to distraction and I fully realized the importance of it that day; it was given to her by her father in early infancy, for love and protection, and she could not part with it under any circumstances. I could empathize, having only one trinket from my past—a gold pendant and chain, partially broken and stained with black, that had but one word on it, my name. The only indication toward my identity. Still, when she broke into tears I remember thinking of the ridiculousness of it. Especially when we found it in her room the next morning; she had not even placed it around her neck the day before.

This behavior now could not truly be because of me? Could It? My vexation over this was as troubling as Bella's over my affections.

It was peculiar behavior. Even for Bella.

We stared at one another for a length of time, when she finally broke the silence around us. "Edward, you must promise me something."

I hesitated at the fierceness of her words, before asking, "What?" Normally I would agree without question, but I was unsure of what she would ask.

"You must promise you will not leave me," she whispered. "Ever."

I sighed. "Bella, I cannot—"

"_I_ cannot be without you, Edward. I _will__not_." She said, burying her face against my shirt. I could feel her tears as they saturated it. "You are too valuable to me. I need you. So much. _Please._"

She gripped me tighter, and suddenly I felt overwhelmed. As if this was not the first time her words and actions had been spoken to me.

"Shh. It's all right, angel. Shh," I whispered. And though I knew better than to give her hopes value, without a genuine security of the future, I answered her pleas so I could stop her anguished tears. "I promise. You shall always have me near. Be still." I cooed. "Shh." I held her throughout the night as she clung to me before drifting into uneasy sleep.

I stared at her angelic face for a time, resolving. I was doubtful as to how, but I vowed that I would do my best to stay my promise.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Months passed. Seasons changed. And with them, despite our efforts, Bella and I began to grow apart.

I endeavored to see her, keeping my vow as best I could, but often times family, friends, and other distractions had called upon her.

Mornings she would attend her studies, as I attended my duties. In the early dawn would Mrs. Stanley come to rouse Bella, to dress and groom her before she attempted any sort of employment. Then Bella would proceed to be instructed by her tutors, followed by the Queen's instruction where she learned more of what was to be expected in the future. I had my duties as well; endless cleaning, polishing, errands, appointments, all of it was mindless work that I was both grateful for and loathed in the same thought. Grateful, because I had at least some kind of employment to distract me from thoughts of her. Loathing for the fact that no matter what I attempted I could _not_ be distracted from thoughts of her. This would continue even when the daylight hours were spent and I was allowed to retire to my chamber.

Afternoons she sat with guests, entertaining them as a gracious host. Often times I would be near enough to watch her engagements, which consisted of too many young men for my taste. Yet, it was comforting the rare times that Princess Rosalie would take time to visit. Bella mentioned that they would meet when she knew her father would not be around—His Majesty did enjoy the hunt—and share on what it was like being in a royal family since they both did not have any acquaintances of the like. It was an odd thing, but Bella seemed grateful for a female companion, so I was happy for her.

Evenings were potentially the worst of the days as I would anticipate whether or not we could see one another. Though I would be through with the day's work, Isabella still had to sit through supper and play her role to her parents before retreating to her chamber, to me. Often I would have listened as she spoke of her day—the exasperating lessons, the tiresome acquaintances she was forced to keep amused—recounting how she wished I were there. It made my heart swell when she spoke that way.

I did not voice it, but often I feared that Bella had tired of me. Always on edge for when she would realize that her want of a friend was more than compensated now.

She always sought my presence, though. At the end of the day she made sure that we at the very least could hold each other. In those moments we generally did not speak, just simply appreciated being together. There was no appointments or orders or demanding.

It was just us.

And I made the most of it. Taking in each difference that the day brought. Breathing in her scent, and wishing I could have her to myself for more than just these few stolen moments.

"I missed you today," she would tell me.

"You always say that," I always replied, somehow teasing despite the gloom.

"It is as true now as it was yesterday."

I would smile then and say, "I know. I missed you as well." _So__much_.

I could not even stay with her at night any longer as her days began as early as mine, with Mrs. Stanley barging into her chamber to begin the day. It was too precarious to chance being discovered.

Even our Sundays were compromised as Isabella attended the Church publicly now, which was followed by afternoon tea most times. We did not play games any longer. We had no time for them, moving into the role of adults and thus more mature engagements.

Bella was exhausted.

I wished I could do something to lift her burden, but nothing would ease her troubles. Or mine.

I ached for her. More and more each day. The sound of her voice, the touch of her skin, her smile; my body lamented for all of her. Such beauty had blossomed in these last few months, and I began to feel bewitched by her. I was often lost in the depth of her doe eyes. Wanting to embrace and kiss her for reasons other than pure affection and friendship. Yet, knowing right away that nothing could come of these emotions, I thrust them aside… mostly. This was not the time to think in such a manner.

"Edward!" Cook called.

"Yes, ma'am?"

"Here, take these. Her Highness is having tea with Princess Rosalie out in the gardens. Jessica is supposed to be serving, but that girl has gone missing. _Again_." Cook let out an exasperated sigh, but I could probably guess with whom she was fraternizing with—a certain blond boy who should be at work in the stables…

No matter, I relished in the opportunity to be near my Princess, so I graciously acquiesced to being their server this afternoon. Just like that my spirits were lifted. It had been two days since last I saw her, and I felt like a child receiving a precious gift.

As I approached the gardens, I could faintly hear their conversation.

"…was so amusing. He could not have been more adorable." A contented sigh. "But let us not drone on about my conquests!" A giggle. "Tell me Bella! Has anyone caught your eye yet?" Princess Rosalie's request seemed quite forward. Intrigued, nonetheless, I paused just before I reached them to hear her response.

"Of course not. These so called _gentlemen_ have no sort of personality what so ever. They are all so…so… Oh! There is not even a word." I smiled in acquiescence, and moved to where they would see me.

"What about Demetri? He appears rather fond of you." She smirked at the blush forming on Bella's cheeks.

"_Fond_ is not the word I would—Oh! Our tea is here." Bella exclaimed, noticing my presence. She smiled widely, and my heart swelled. I had not gazed on that smile in what felt like a lifetime.

"Shall I serve, Your Highness?" I asked, attempting to sound formal and detached.

Rosalie did not even bother to cast a look in my direction, more focused on her reflection in the silver place setting. Bella, however, nodded and answered, "Yes, thank you."

I allowed my hand to discreetly find hers beneath the table as I poured the hot water, almost sighing from just the feel of her skin. It was soft, nice. We exchanged a glance over the oblivious blond sitting inches next to Bella, before I eventually retreated, having been told that nothing else was required of me.

It was a small moment, but more than I had had in weeks. Just the vision of her in the sunshine—smiling, radiant—was more than enough to lift the dark clouds from my weary spirit.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Eventually so much time had passed that it was nearing my sixteenth birthday, less than a month away. May came warmer this year than the ones prior, and it was a welcome change, which in and of itself was a surprise on my part. I had come to loathe change and time. So much so, that I had often wished for a way to alter it. Progress forward some years, retreat back to when I was still at the orphanage,—it would not be so bad—anything! Anything but this slow torture of watching her leave me little by little. Perhaps some days were better than others, such as today, but often I was painfully aware of my need for the dark haired beauty that calmed my soul.

Bella was my obsession of choice.

_No_. Not obsession. My adoration and devotion to her was not tainted with the darkness of that. It was something purer, something beautiful and woeful all at once… An emotion that I dare not even think of now. Not that it truly mattered. I had already imparted that to her. Though, at that time it was no more than purely companionable, or even brotherly.

I scoff at that last thought. _Brotherly __could __not __be __how __I __should __interpret __this __now._

.

.

.

I lie in my chamber at the present.

Waiting.

Another week has passed and I have barely even caught a glimpse of my Bella. The worst part of the day is approaching. Twilight is giving way to the cool night. The day has faded while I tormented my being with thoughts of her. My fingers grip the chaotic, copper locks upon my head as I try to focus on anything but this moment in time. I feel as though my mind is lost. There are too many feelings. I feel plagued. Weariness and depression are threatening to drown me in this sea of enduring solitude. It seems there is but one thing my body wants to do right now... A tightening in my chest before…

I… I laugh?

I am laughing, but …_why_? Perhaps I _have_ lost my mind.

Then I realized why. My body has already processed what my mind was still figuring out. Had I not laughed at the thought of Bella's nonsensicality in being able to control her emotions? And here I sat, nearly weeping over my inability to be with her, as though I had the right to. To claim anything in regards to her was utterly ridiculous. I sobered then, seeing the cruelty in the jest.

Rising up, half in dread—half in anticipation, I move towards her chamber. The catacombs are dark and foreboding. Bella and I had decided that they must have been some kind of secret pathway for her ancestors to smuggle goods and have secret affairs without others knowing. It must have been long ago for it seems that no one but the two of us have even discovered it as of late. And Bella simply had stumbled out of bed one night, falling on the floor in front of the secret opening and noticed there was a sliver between the floor and the wall. After that, she discovered that the palace had a hidden entrance to almost every room.

Upon opening the wall, I notice a faint glow from the fireplace, but it seems that nothing else is stirring here. Strange. Isabella should be in bed at this late hour.

I glanced around and finally spotted her hidden form, sleeping soundly in one of the large chairs near the fire, clutching a novel of some kind. I removed it gently and smiled as I noticed the title.

_Alice's Adventures in Wonderland._

She simply adores that book. I knew that she would. How many times had I read it to her? Dozens, no doubt.

I placed the book on her nightstand before returning to gently lift her sleeping form in to my arms and place her on the bed. She stirred only once, murmuring, "Edward." I barely heard it, but the smile spread across my face as if she were truly acknowledging my presence. I placed the blanket around her small frame before allowing my fingers to brush her cheek, moving her soft tresses back so that I could gaze upon her face.

_Sleep __well, __Princess_, I thought. It was cheating if I spoke her title when she could not reply; and despite what Bella says, I do not cheat. I lingered there, watching her face as she lie content. So beautiful, innocent. I watched the gentle rise and fall of her chest, heard the air glide through her slightly parted lips, and longed to stay and wrap myself in her warmth and peace as I had before. But this was not for me. No, I must return to the cold solitude and unrest of where I belong.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The separation was becoming more painful each day, and I could not fathom it. Should I not be growing more complacent? At the very least accepting of my circumstances? As I moved through my routines stiffly, I began to feel bitterness. Then anger. Yes, I _was_ angry. Extremely so. At whom?—I did not know.

Or did I?

Yes! Nothing was ever in my favor because I had been at the mercy of others.

I had several foes to angry with. My parents, leaving me for death, or worse, as a mere infant; Mrs. Newton, for bringing me to this torturous place; myself, for coming willingly… No. There was someone else. She started it all. _She_ brought me into her life, filling her needs greedily. And I let her. Fool that I am. She had always dazzled me; it was sinister; a curse from the moment she placed her hand in mine. I was done for from the start of this game. Yes, she loved games. Pretending was her favorite game, and now that there were other players she did not need or want me.

Maybe I was being overdramatic, ludicrous, _mad_ even, but it did not matter. I would choose madness if the pain stopped. I could not live this way. Something had to adjust. Since I did not seem to be able to.

What I did not realize what that this was only the beginning.

There was a hand on my cheek, small and delicate. And just like that, the anger fled. "Edward," she whispered. I opened my eyes and gazed upon her beautiful face. The moment her eyes met mine I completely forgot what I had been thinking. I pulled her into my arms, holding her tightly while burying my face in the sweet scent of her tresses. She ran her fingers through my hair, saying, "I missed you, too." Then she placed a kiss on the top of my head. I sighed in relief.

After some time, she spoke, "Happy birthday."

"And what, pray tell, is happy about it?" I said bitterly. Birthdays mark time. I hated time.

"Well, we are together."

"Yes. For this moment, until the sun rises. Then you shall go back to _them_." _And __I __shall __be __lost __without __you__…_

"Hmm…and what if I told you that I could spend tomorrow with you?" She said, a smile in her voice.

I did not even dare to hope my ears were functioning properly. Thus, I decided she must not have said anything. "Edward? Did you hear me?" She pulled away and placed her hand beneath my chin, raising my eyes to hers. "I feigned illness all day." She explained with a giggle. "Even Mother believes me to be contagious, so no one is permitted to call upon me. Not even Mrs. Stanley. I have the whole day to 'recover' alone. Oh, but you shall take care of me, won't you kind sir?" A pause. "Edward? …Edward! Say something!"

Suddenly Bella was stifling a surprised scream as I spun her around the room as fast as I could. Then just as suddenly as I began, I stopped, and held her gaze with my own. "Truly? Just us? I have you all to myself?" I could not contain the happiness that was overflowing from within me.

She nodded, still breathless from my abrupt elation.

"Yes. I am all yours. We have to stay in my chamber, so there is not much in lieu of distractions, but at least no one shall intrude. Ah! Edward, I cannot breathe!" She gasped. I suppose that I _was_ holding her too tightly, but I could not make myself let go.

Bella did care about me, about us.

I had begun to doubt her—Oh, whom am I deceiving? I was a foolish, raving lunatic only minutes ago. My joy was now marred with guilt. What was wrong with me? Bella had never purposely hurt me—except that time she kicked me while we raced from the forest back to the palace; having longer legs was not my fault—and here I was ready to betray her trust at the first sign of doubt.

I slowly released her, and noticed that she could sense my obvious grief.

"Is something the matter?"

"I do not deserve this Bella. I-I," breathing deeply, I forced the words out. She had to know, "I was angry with you. Before. I am sorry, it is just that it has been so… agonizing. And I had let myself think that you did not care anymore, but I _know_ you would never—" My explanation was silenced by her hand.

"Will you stop your insufferable whining?" She said with a smirk.

Remembering those words, I could not help but smile. I understood what she conveyed in that moment. That she had not changed her mind about me. Not then, nor now. "Sorry," I murmured from behind her fingers, which were now outlining the shape of my lips.

"I understand," she said, letting her hand fall to her side. "I am sorry…"

"Please, Bella, do not—"

"No. Edward, I have to say this." She took a deep breath. "I know things have been difficult, at best. These six months past, especially. I just, I do not know what has happened. Mother was always making engagements for me, I was expected to attend concerts and ceremonies, and…and I was trapped. Never having a moment to breathe nor even think for myself…" She smiled sadly then, looking down, and whispering, "You were right. You told me, or attempted to anyway. But I did not listen. I am sorry. I did not realize what this duty would withhold from me. It is so tiring. My mind and body cannot seem to catch up to it all. Especially without you. I cannot fathom what would have become of me if I did not at least have you near…" She fixed her eyes on mine then. "And now I feel as though this is worse. Knowing you are just beyond my reach, and yet never within my grasp." She brushed her fingers along my forehead then, sweeping them down the bridge of my nose, along my cheek, the length of my jaw, and repeated the path. As if she were making a memory.

Her fingers left a trail of fire on my skin, and my breath became more labored as she continued touching my face. I closed my eyes. It was so little, and yet so much at the same time.

"Why does being apart hurt so much?" She breathed. "As if there is a great chasm in my chest, an open wound that does not let me breath… I cannot stand it sometimes." She rested her head against my chest and curled into herself on my lap.

"I know. I feel just the same." I held her in my arms before coaxing her to stand so I could lead the way back to her chamber. All the while pondering.

_There __must __be __a __way. __Some __way __to __end __this __separation._ I must find a way before one of us goes mad.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

We slept soundly, awaking still wrapped in each other's arms just as we had fallen asleep last night. It was the late morning but I made no move to rise, nor she. It was Sunday, and I praised the Lord that I would not be missed this day. It truly was ours.

Eventually we did rise and Bella had decided that since it was my birthday, I was not to lift a finger. "Today, I am _your_ servant," she laughed. "Now, what do you wish of me, my Lord?"

I rolled my eyes at her adorable curtsey. "Bellaaaa. I do not wish to be pampered. I already have what I want, which is definitely more that I anticipated, and hardly what I deserve. Now, stop playing games and act your age."

"If I were acting my age, we would be having a pompous tea in frivolous dress, while attempting to remain awake, despite the 'astounding' conversation skills of women at least thirty years older than ourselves. Is that how you would like to spend this day?"

"Well, there go my plans. What shall we do now?" I teased in mock concern. She retaliated to my jest with a pillow to my head, and I obliged her in initiating the pillow war.

…It was a difficult fight, since hiding was not much of an option in her room. We each claimed a side of it, and built a barricade of sorts from anything we could reach; chairs, linens, and etcetera. This made the campaign far more difficult. I had to strategize.

Noticing that one of the pillows was torn, I had placed it aside so I did not make a mess. Of course, this now became my most valued weapon as a strategy was forming.

I peeked at the Princess from my shelter, and discerned that she was busy strategizing as well. I had to move quickly. Taking two 'bombs' with me—the open pillow and another one—I moved to the sidelines quietly before tossing the 'bad one' right onto the crown of her head.

"Ah! Edward! Why am I covered in feathers?" She quietly shrieked before I took advantage of her distraction to invade and tackle her. I covered her body with mine while she uselessly struggled before raising the pillow in my hand.

"Surrender!" I said, raising my weapon.

"Oh, no! You would not dare!" Bella attempted to squirm out of my grasp, but it was no use.

"Would you like to find out?" I leaned in closer, wrapping my free arm around her and staring her down. Looking into her eyes I noticed the light was back. The glow she used to have when we were together. It was stunning. How long had it been now—

Suddenly, I was jarred from my musings, being turned on my back as Bella sat above. "What—?"

She towered over me, the pillow in her hands, waiting for justice. "Now, what were you saying about surrender?" A fiendish smile lit her face, and I was dazzled and disoriented in the same moment. How did this happen? I was always the victor... "Oh, not so superior now, are we, love?" She raised her weapon high…

"Wait!" She paused, listening. Ugh. "All right. You win. I yield to you, my Lady."

Her smile was so wide, I marveled. "I did it! I, the poor and humble misfit, have beaten the evil green-eyed overlord! Ha ha! Say it, say it!"

"What? I am not—ow, ow!" She had begun to punish me with the pillow, "okay, ow, all right." I sighed, repeating her victory speech. Then I swiped the pillow so she could not use it again.

"So you are human after all…" Isabella taunted. I snorted.

"You know, just because you are weaker that I am—"

"Weaker? That is compl—"

"Yes, weaker. It does not mean, my dear Princess, that I have super-human strength, or anything of the kind."

"Do NOT call me Princess." She stuck her tongue out at me then, and I laughed at the silliness of it. Of all of it. We were acting as if nothing had changed. As if we had gone back to when it was still simple—just two best friends, enjoying each other's company.

Perhaps it _was_ possible to move back time, as I had often wished. With Bella I could. With her, anything was possible.

Together we were unstoppable.

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**A/N: Thoughts? **

**I would have gotten this out sooner, but it was my birthday on Saturday, and then my Internet decided to die and blah, blah, blah, you know how it goes when RL invades. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, it was a little difficult to write, so let me know what you thought.**

**I know there's a lot of "what the heck is going to happen" thoughts. Well, Bella has learned A LOT while she had to be without her Edward, so we'll be seeing some of that crucial big picture stuff in the next chapter. ;)**

**I'm going to try and get this next chapter out quickly, but who knows what God has planned, so if I don't then I'll see you all next week!**


	8. Aghast

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**First of all, I just wanted to say THANK YOU! for all the support guys! It means sooo much! **

****WARNING** I do need to give a bit of a warning for the end of this chapter. There is some, uh—how do I put it?—questionable behavior that is a bit non-consensual and violent. So if that's not for you, then skip the last few paragraphs. You've been warned.**

…**and FYI, the word "timbre" is pronounced "tam-ber." Just in case you didn't know ;) Enjoy friends! **

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Chapter 8 – Aghast

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BPOV

It was another day, just like the day that was before it.

I was always waking to Mrs. Stanley's droning about my appointments for the day, wincing as she laced my corset so tightly that I could barely breathe, attempting to sit still as she braided and coaxed my tangled tresses into something more fetching than a haystack. It was a nightmare. One I could not escape from.

Ever since my birthday, Mother had made sure that I was the most popular thing since my grand-cousin Joseph invented the light bulb… (Though he was considered a sort of black sheep for becoming someone involved with science, I thought it was an accomplishment to follow one's aspirations.) Anyhow, I seemed to be meeting my peers by the dozens each week. I went on go-sees, luncheons, private balls, general outings, teas… all day long!

"I swear, if I never see a tea cup in my life again, it will be far too soon!" I exclaimed one day as we left the home of Lady Margaret Mallory. Both her, and her daughter, Lauren, were far too pretentious and during the whole affair Lauren could not remove the arrogant glare from her eyes when resting them on me. Lady Mallory was better at disguising it… My mother, however, was treated like a goddess among peasants.

"Isabella, dearest, you must not speak that way!" Mother scolded. "Lord and Lady Mallory are quite kind and considerate people, whose support you will need when you marry someday and take the throne."

"Yes, they all are." I said underneath my breath. This was her usual speech following my criticisms, as if I had forgotten. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. Instead, I decided to change the focus of our conversation. "Mother, do you know when Father is to be leaving for the countryside?"

"Any day I suppose. Are you planning on inviting Rosalie to visit again?" Mother did not seem to have a problem with the Cullen family as Father did. Probably due to Rosalie's place in society. If the neighboring kingdom was an ally, it would only benefit us.

"Perhaps. It has been more than a fortnight now." Rosalie and I had become great friends over the past few months, and it seemed that she was as eager for a girlfriend as I was. No one else was strictly honorable in this; when one is a princess, many strive to befriend in hopes of favors or potential advances in society. Neither of us was after that sort of thing, so it was almost effortless. I say almost, because we did have quite different dispositions—her confidence, tenacity, and natural beauty and charisma were far from my joviality, reticence, and plain features. She had seen and understood much more of the ways of world than I, being not so isolated by her parents. If only I were permitted to travel to Londra…

We arrived home, and I was immediately redressed in order to attend the evening with the Royal Mystic and Cleric, Reverend Marcus, at his private ball this evening. It did not seem right to me that a man of Faith would be practiced in sorcery, but my father had known him for many, many years and thought highly of him and even sought his advice in several matters. There were many who did not approve of this, myself included, but who could defy the King?

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_There __are __far __too __many __parties __here_, I thought, noticing that many young couples were dancing as we entered Reverend Marcus' diminutive ballroom. I noticed that many eyes followed my movement around the room. Particularly one of the gentlemen that I had danced with at my last birthday party.

Demetri Volturi, nephew to the Reverend, was tall, with tanned skin. His eyes as well as his thick, slightly curly hair were the color of ebony, and each time I met his gaze there was an unsettling feeling in the pit of my abdomen. His father, Lord Aro Volturi, gave off a similar feeling, and this was one of the moments where I wished desperately for Edward to be by my side.

"Your Highness. It is such an honor to have you in my presence once again," he cooed, as if it were a compliment.

"Yes, thank you, Demetri. I am… happy to be invited by your uncle," I replied, attempting not to wince as he took my gloved hand and placed his lips on my knuckles. He leered at my form, and it sent a chill down my spine. Revolting. My thoughts raced as I searched for a reason to get away…

"Well, you must excuse me, I must find my mother."

"Oh, but I am sure that she is with my uncle. Perhaps I could escort you?"

I refrained from sighing in frustration and forced a smile. "Of course, thank you." And with that, he placed my arm in his as we walked across the room to where Mother, Father, and the Reverend were conversing.

As soon as I was able to extricate my arm from his hold, I did. Moving away, I said a quick thanks, but not before he insisted that I dance with him. Of course, he spoke in front of my parents, and thus I could not refuse his request. So, we danced, and he attempted to impress me with his wealth and upbringing—just as they all did—and I struggled to act as thought it was interesting.

Much of that night was the same. I listened to countless young men speak to me as though I had no value whatsoever.

Eventually we left, and walking through the front door to our carriage I noticed that I was quite weary, as though a great weight was lifted from my shoulders.

I entered my bedchamber lazily, followed by Mrs. Stanley who helped me to remove the elaborate dress and corset that I wore. Then, being finally free of everyone and everything, I crawled into bed, attempting to not think about the one person I wished were with me at this moment… Though I always did, no matter how hard I tried not to. Eventually, I fell into a troubled sleep, just as I did nearly every night.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_Lost._

_I was lost… _

_The forest surrounding me was thick with trees and plant-life. I was surrounded. It felt as though they were smothering me. _

_It was so dark here. No light. I tried to run, but no matter which path I took, I could never find it. If I just could find the light, then the darkness could not hold me. _

_I wandered forever, it seemed, and I felt so alone. So cold. _

"_Hello?" I shouted, desperate for anything, anyone… and then, she was there. The girl from my birthday party, the one who knew Edward. _

"_There you are! What are you doing out here, silly? He is waiting for you!" She reached out and pulled me to my feet before leading us through the dark._

"_Where are we going?"_

_She said nothing, only smiled back at me as we ventured through the dark forest._

_I__could__see__that__we__were__moving__toward__the__light._At last! _But__for__some__reason__I__became__nervous__… _

_We passed through the last of the trees, coming to the edge of a beach, the sun glowing across the shimmering water. The sand was warm beneath my bare feet as the waves washed cool air over my body. I gazed at the beauty surrounding me before spotting him. "Edward," I whispered. He was standing near the water, letting it pass over his naked feet as he looked into the distance. _

_We moved closer before he turned and saw us, a wide smile lightening his face as he fixed his bright emerald eyes on me. I could not recall the last time I had seen him this joyful. He walked toward us, wrapping his arms around my waist leaned down to kiss my forehead before he looked beyond me and said, "Thank you, Alice."_

Alice? _I __thought, _Was this her name? How did he know?

"_Well, I could not leave her alone out there…or you for that matter," she replied, and then Alice was gone. Edward and I were alone. _

"_I have missed you, love. You should not wander in the darkness."_

"_I was looking for you, for the light, but it evaded me no matter where I turned," I said, solemn. _

_His embrace became stronger before he answered, "Never again. I will not let you venture there for me." The determination in his voice astounded me. "Not this time." _

"_This time?"_

_He did not reply. Only traced my features with the soft touch of his hand. "Lovely Bella," Edward whispered, "…Just beyond my reach, and yet never within my grasp. Right here, and I still cannot have you." The sharp edge of his words cut through my heart and left my eyes stinging with an echo of his torment. Torment that was somehow also mine._

_He leaned forward, hiding his face in my hair and inhaling leisurely whilst I was still in his arms._

_After a time he pulled back slightly, saying, "I have lingered here too long," anguish still present in his soft, warm voice. Before I could protest he leaned in, cupping my face in his strong hands with gentility and staring into my eyes with immense intensity. "I love you. Remember that. No matter what happens, I love you, Bella. You are mine, just as I am yours." Then his lips met mine in a kiss of such passion that it stole my very breath away. And when my eyes met his as he drew away, I could not articulate my alarm in gazing into his golden yellow eyes…_

"NO!" I screamed, rising up in my bed, awareness attempting to seep through the illusions as my mind realized the familiarity of my chamber. My eyes shifted around the room, searching desperately, but he was not here.

I lied back down, endeavoring to calm the pounding in my chest and my shortness of breath. I had to refrain from closing my eyes, as I did the first time this dream invaded my mind. If I did, his eyes would be waiting to haunt me. It was too much, for some reason, and I could not fathom the meaning of it.

Indeed, this was not the first time I had seen this vision. It had plagued me for this month past. Nearly every night. And I could not figure why that was. I could only attempt to recall what I dreamed.

Each time I was lost, each time my mind had named the girl Alice, each time Edward spoke as if… as if… "_I __love __you, __Bella. __You __are __mine__…_" He voice sounded in my memory and I did not want to think of what those words could be pointing to. There was too much meaning in them, and how could I understand the implication of my own mind when reality was the more considerable?

Though the largest perplexity lie not in what my vision of Edward declared verbally, but rather my response to his actions; the way he embraced me, the grave timbre of his voice, the current running through my body as his lips seized mine…his eyes…their vibrant, emerald intensity seemed to pierce through my soul.

I could not explain the evolution of his eye color each time our kiss had finished. Only that my mind rejected it. I would awake, screaming, every time with trepidation. And I had no idea why.

I did know that it was not because I feared _him_. In fact, I often reached out for him as I awoke, seeking the peace his presence provided. No. It was the unearthly, golden gleam that replaced the deep, shining emerald color of his gaze that caused my heart to accelerate.

_A __dream_, I told myself, _it __was __just __a __dream. __Nothing __more...wasn__'__t __it?_

Lately there had been a hollow feeling inside of me, and if I paid any attention to it, I would not make it through the day as it sought to tear my heart and mind apart. I knew it was because Edward was not with me, but there was nothing I could do now to help it; I could only force the pain aside. I arose then, deciding that it would be in my favor to not rest any longer. It was still dark outside my windows, and I resolved that I needed to keep my mind busy, so I chose a book to read. Eventually the sun rose, and Mrs. Stanley came in to tend to me for the day, thus renewing the laborious circle that is my life.

I sent a letter to Rosalie, asking for her company, and was pleased to meet her carriage five days later.

"Bella, dear! Oh it was a joy to receive your request!" She said as we embraced one another.

"I am so glad you could come. Please, follow me and I shall call for some refreshment. What would you like?"

"Tea?" She asked, and I resisted sticking my tongue out in disgust. I did ask her.

"Of course."

We sat in the garden, catching up and speaking of what was to come. Apparently for Rosalie, it was in the form of someone called Emmett. "Bella, you must meet him! He is the sweetest, kindest, most adorable man I have ever met! At first glance, I thought he was like the others, you know, boring, speaking as though they are God's Gift to women. But could you guess the first words he spoke to me?" I shook me head, smiling at the brightness in her blue eyes. "Well, I was standing near my dear friend Vera, speaking of the appalling ways that men attempt to gain our attention, when a deep voice from behind me exclaims, 'Well, that is certainly better than the ways men try to gain my attention.'"

I nearly spluttered my tea all over! "Rose! He surely did not mean…?" She nodded furiously, and the two of us were laughing so much that tears streamed down our faces.

"I tell you Bella, it was so witty! I turned my gaze to him, wondering if he was serious, and he merely smiled and winked at me. It was completely shocking, and I absolutely loved it!"

We laughed for a while longer and Rosalie began to tell me how Emmett was courting her now. "I cannot fathom how I have lived without him. It is so strange Bella. One moment I feel as though men are practically the most useless invention on the earth, and then with a few words I am enraptured! His beauty, his innocence, his speech. All of it was so amusing. He could not have been more adorable." She sighed then, and her starry-eyed gaze became sober as she looked back to me. "But let us not drone on about my conquests!" Rose laughed. "Tell me Bella! Has anyone caught your eye yet?"

I could feel my eyes grow with surprise. Did she honestly ask me that? "Of course not. These so called _gentlemen_ have no sort of personality what so ever. They are all so…so…" _not __Edward_. I blushed a bit at my thought. "Oh! There is not even a word," I continued, trying to hide the blush that was now burning my skin as I tried to get the image of my current dreams out of my head.

"What about Demetri? He appears rather fond of you." She smirked at me, probably wondering what I was thinking of. I needed to change the subject, but first I needed to assure her that my thoughts most assuredly were not of him.

"_Fond_ is not the word I would—" Edward? "Oh! Our tea is here." I silently thanked my lucky stars that he was here, smiling at being able to see him properly for the first time in at least three weeks. Rosalie seemed to be annoyed that we were interrupted, and did not even spare Edward a glance. I, however, could barely take my eyes from him.

"Shall I serve, Your Highness?" From the tone of his voice, I could tell that he was feeling the same as I.

"Yes, thank you," I answered, trying to remember that I needed to keep my emotions reserved. This became increasingly difficult as Edward leaned to pour the water and his hand found mine beneath the table. The texture of his hand was rough but strong as he held mine, and I wanted nothing more than to place that strength around my body and tell him to never let go. Yet, too soon he was gone as there was no excuse I could use to keep him here without Rosalie noticing.

Her eyes lifted after Edward's retreat, and she was suddenly smirking. "Hmm… So, there _is_ someone after all…"

I blanched. "Wh-what?"

"Too bad I did not really look at him. How peculiar! I did not think you would be that type Bella."

"I do not know what you are speaking of, but I am not any sort of type." I snapped back. If I could pretend to be insulted, perhaps she would believe my denial.

Her eyes narrowed a bit, but she said nothing else, for which I was grateful. How was it that practical strangers could see through our guise, but not those who surrounded us day by day?

I began to ask more about her parents, attempting to change the topic of conversation, though it was probably not the best subject to turn to since they were still at odds with my own. Rosalie was often somber when speaking of them. "Father and Mother are well. Mother has taken a fancy to her gardening as of late, and I am glad that she has a distraction in which to relax. It has been so long since she has truly enjoyed anything since... Well, it is nice to see her smile a little." Rosalie's mother, Esme, apparently suffered from great depression, though I still could not fathom why. "I am not sure how long it will last, though."

"What do you mean?"

She hesitated, as if deciding whether or not to tell me something. "Bella, did…did you know that I had siblings?"

I had no idea. "No, Rose. I did not," and then one word caught my attention, "…had? As in…"

"As in they are no longer with us. Yes." She said, her voice had become a whisper, her eyes watering. "I should not be talking about this, but I cannot keep holding it in as they do. Neither of them will speak about it, Bella, and I do not know what to do." Tears were spilling over her cheeks now, and I rose to move about the table and wrap my arms around her shoulders.

Eventually, her tears quieted. I could not imagine carrying the burden of death. "What happened?" I asked. She clearly needed someone to confide in.

"Promise you will keep this a secret?" I nodded. "Well, it happened about the time I was born. Perhaps a few months after, I cannot be sure as I do not truly remember. But yes, I had a brother and sister. Twins. They were about two or three years older from what I could figure. Father and Mother refuse to speak of them; I do not even know what their names were. Only that my parents adored them. So much so that even now Mother grieves. Each year, on the anniversary of their deaths, she will ride to where they are buried and pray for them. I used to attend with her, but it is too much to bear sometimes… to see the sorrow in her eyes…" Rosalie's eyes became distant, oddly reminding me of Edward when he lost himself to his thoughts.

"How did they pass?"

She sniffed. "A fire, I believe. I remember sneaking into the place that was their bedchamber when I was little. There were ash and scorch marks all over… It was so heartbreaking, Bella, I began to cry. My parents and my nurse ran and found me by their door, weeping for my brother and sister. There has been a lock on that door ever since."

My heart broke for Rose as she told me of her loss, a few tears leaving my eyes. I could not imagine it if I were to lose someone that way.

We stood, suddenly not in the mood for tea, and decided to spend the rest of our day walking among the flowers, ridding ourselves of the gloom that Rosalie had stowed in her heart.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Time continued to pass and my constant travel was becoming wearisome with the little sleep I received each night due to my consistent dreaming. The chasm in my chest did not help matters, either.

Since I had learned about Rosalie's siblings, I could not stop thinking about Edward. Not that I did not think of him constantly. But if I were to lose him in any way… I could not even think it for fear of it happening. I knew that his birthday was approaching, but I did not know what I could do to make up all this time to him that we were apart. I was not even sure if I would be able to see him that day.

I was now attempting to continue my studies, but my mind would not focus on the history before me. No, my interests in the past were far too specific. What the Cullens had done to earn my father's disapproval. Who were Edward's parents and what had caused them to give him up? Edward would never tell me what he remembered before he was taken to the workhouse, though I suspected that it was because he was afraid to remember for some reason. I was not sure.

Knowing I could do nothing for Edward on this matter, I went to the Royal Library in search of information on the Cullens. There was not much, sadly. Only the very basic of what I had already known. I did find it strange that even in more recent texts there was no mention of the first-born Cullens. I wondered… Was I looking in the wrong place?

I walked over to our librarian, Mr. Dwyer, who had overseen our library for nearly fifty years. If there was anything to find out about the Cullens, he would know.

"Good day, Mr. Dwyer." I smiled.

"Oh! Your Highness! Was a pleasure to see you my dear! It has been far too long since I have seen you!" He took my hand and cradled it affectionately in both of his; he was a sweet, kind man. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"Well, I was thumbing through our historicals, and I noticed that we do not have much about the Cullens…" I began, waiting to see his reaction. To my surprise, Mr. Dwyer was quite helpful.

"No, I am afraid that that sort of information has been limited these days, Your Highness. The best place to look would be the public stacks in town, I suppose. Ever since the King argued with them over that boy, I have been limited—"

"Argued over a boy? What boy?" I asked.

But Mr. Dwyer became terribly flustered of a sudden, "Uh, I um…that is…no. No, Your Highness, I did not say anything about a boy, I…um, please excuse me. I am not feeling too well…" And with that, he quickly walked away.

Baffled, I stood wondering… It was apparent that Mr. Dwyer had made an excuse to leave, and he clearly knew something of what happened between the two Kings, though I realized that any information he might have would be impossible to coax out. He surely was not referring to…? No, that could not be it. Drat! With my curiosity heightened, I needed to figure out how to get another source…

Well, I suppose I could send for anything in the public library that might have the information I needed. I could ask Rose to find out, though I am sure that it would be difficult for her as well.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Another week passed and Edward's birthday was on the horizon. I had thought of a way to get him alone (thanks to Mr. Dwyer), and now that I was 'ill,' I made my way to his chamber through our private route.

Opening the secret door, I moved to stand near his small bed, watching as his face contorted in distress while his hands were pulling at the hair of his head. His eyes were closed, breathing uneven, and without any more delay I placed my hand on his cheek. His body relaxed then as I whispered his name and his eyes opened, staring at me as if I were a specter as I was pulled into his arms. He was thinner, I am sure, and the darkness beneath his eyes told me that I was not the only one sleep was evading. As my fingers ran through his unruly locks, he held me closer, saying everything with that one gesture.

"I missed you, too."

It was a bittersweet reunion for both of us. He was angry with me, and rightly so. It was true that I had been naïve in thinking that I could keep change from happening. That somehow time would be constant. Utterly nonsensical.

I was happy that Edward did not hold true contempt for me. On the contrary, he did not blame me at all. He had even tried to apologize! Even after we had made our silly apologies for uncontrollable circumstances I knew this was only a small bandage over festering wounds. Wounds that grew by the day, and required so much more care. Yet, all I could offer him were my feelings. Hope that we could survive with what little affection that shone through the pain. I could not believe I had spoke the words of my dream to him. The words Edward had said to me. But it seemed the only way to reveal what my heart was saying. What we both had felt.

…_just __beyond __my __reach, __and __yet __never __within __my __grasp._

Indeed, it was true, but today I resolved to not let that matter. I had every intention that Edward's birthday was going to be special, and it was. We had spent the morning in pillow fights, followed by lunch, which was set outside my bedchamber, according to previous arrangement. I wanted him to sit at the pianoforte and play, for it had been far too long since the last time, but I knew it was not the most sound idea. Instead we conversed, attempting to speak of what had gone on during our separation, but soon moved to other subjects as the previous one was ruining my aspirations for the day.

I noticed that Edward had taken every opportunity to touch me since we awoke this morning—from holding my hand, to placing me in his lap, to sweeping his fingers through my hair—and I must admit that I delighted in every one of them. Though it was difficult to focus when Edward would place kisses on top of my head—which was frequently—and my mind kept repeating the searing kiss from my dream.

I began to wonder what it would feel like to have his lips against mine. Would I truly feel that electricity while I was awake? I could feel my cheeks burning with the thought of wanting to know.

"What are you thinking?" Edward whispered as we sat in each other's arms.

Apparently he had noticed as well. "Oh, nothing," I replied vaguely, hoping he would not pursue it. Of course, this _was_ Edward I was speaking to.

"Hmm… It does not _look_ like nothing." He said, gliding a finger over the heat of my face and smiling. I needed to think of something else.

"I am just…just—"

"—lying to me. And quite poorly, too." I took a deep breath, determined not to even address his teasing. "What is this? No snooty remark to put me in my place? My, my, you have been affected by _them_, haven't you?" He grinned at me, waiting for an answer.

"Since it is your birthday, my dear fellow, I shall ignore your rude behavior and spare you my wrath."

"You are too generous, Your Highness," he replied with a roll of his eyes.

"I know," I smiled sweetly. He laughed at my feigned arrogance, but made no further comment.

The sun had set already, and evening covered the landscape beyond my windows. I realized that nearly all day we had simply sat with each other and it looked as if Edward was just as grateful as I for the ease this day brought. I suppose I had unintentionally planned this day not only for Edward, but myself as well.

_We __needed __one __another, __that __much __is __certain_, I thought as Edward and I sat side by side in my bed, _and __now __that __the __day __is __ending, __what __will __tomorrow __bring __for __us?_

Well, I did know what it would mean for me, outings, teas, dresses… A laugh escaped me at the last thought. Edward raised an eyebrow questioningly, to which I replied, "I was just thinking…"

"Yes, that _is_ fairly amusing," he interrupted, laughing at his own absurdity. I glared at him for that before continuing.

"Anyhow, I just realized that we had never dressed for the day. I am still in my nightdress."

Edward fixed his eyes on me then, taking in my appearance. "Hmm…" he answered, and I wondered if I should have kept my mouth shut. I looked down, seeing the rumpled fabric of my nightdress. I did not even put my locket on this morning. My hand moved to my hair; just from the feel of it I could tell it was a mess. How did Edward even manage to look at me?

"Bella," he said softly, gaining my attention as he placed me in his lap again. I turned my gaze on him, and he smiled affectionately. "You are so beautiful. Just as you are." He leaned toward me, brushing his lips across my forehead. "I could not have asked for a better gift than you." A shiver fluttered down my spine, and I wanted nothing more in that moment then for him to continue kissing me.

"Edward?" I breathed, my heart suddenly pounding in my chest, as my whole body seemed to burn in anticipation of what could happen in this moment.

"Yes, angel?" His face was level with mine now, so close, only inches separating our lips.

"I…um, well, there was s-something that I wanted to—to… give you."

He leaned back slightly, nodding as his brow furrowed in confusion. "All right. There is no reason to be anxious." He said, failing miserably in calming my tremulous body. "You are trembling like a leaf, Bella. Tell me, what is it?"

I took a deep breath, and whispered, "Kiss me."

All breathing stopped as he starred at me. His eyes flitting between my mouth and my eyes. I could tell there was a struggle as his head slowly began to shake while his arms pressed my body closer to his.

"Bella, I… I cannot—I mean, I want to, to k…but—" I placed one finger over his mouth to silence his stuttering.

"Kiss me, Edward." I said, my voice stronger than before.

And then, he leaned in, capturing my lips with his, gently, sweetly. My fingers found their way to his wild mane, pulling him closer as our mouths moved together. His right hand wound in my hair as his left continued to hold my body close. So close.

It was perfect. He was perfect. Cradling me with such care as we leaned back on the bed, his body covering mine. I was running out of air and turned my head slightly, panting. Edward did not stop kissing me, though. Just moved his lips to my jaw, kissing along the length of my neck and murmuring my name. His hold became even tighter and I gasped from the pressure. His lips met mine again as his fingers trailed fire along my arms to my shoulders and continued down to my waist. He did not stop there though, moving his hands lower to my thighs. "Bella…" he growled against my lips, "So beautiful…_mine_…_always__…_" His fingers were slowly pulling the hem of my nightdress up I realized with alarm.

Something had changed. "Edward, mmm. …W-Wait." I whispered, trying to catch my breath. He did not seem to hear me, only continued to attack my skin with his mouth, moving along the curve of my collarbone and shoulders while his hands moved underneath my clothing. "Edward. Stop—" But I was silenced with his kisses. Kisses that were now harsh and forced. I shook my head, but he took no notice. His right hand glided over my thigh to my stomach, moaning into my mouth while feeling the bare skin as his left kept me from moving my head. Tears began to stream down my face.

_This __is __not __right. __This __is __not _my _Edward. __Why __is __he __doing __this?_

My hand darted out, reaching for anything that could help me. I finally felt something smooth and solid on the nightstand. I griped it tightly and swung my arm to connect it with his head. He was thrown off balance, his weight falling next to me. He sat up quickly though, catching my arms in his iron grip as he lifted my face to his fierce glare. And suddenly, I wanted to scream, though I was frozen in fear. His forehead was covered in blood, and his eyes… _no, __No, __NO!_ It could not be.

They were golden yellow, burning like the sun. The murderous gaze he fixed on me was heart wrenching. But then, his brow furrowed, and he blinked, once, twice… On the third he kept them closed, his body shaking. I watched in shock, waiting until his eyes opened again…

And they were green once more.

Instead of anger, perplexity now seized him. "Bella? What—" he began in a whisper, but stopped, noticing his hands griping my arms. He slowly released me, noticing the book I held. His hand went to the front corner of his head, wincing as he touched the wound I had given him. When he pulled it back there was blood covering his fingers. He looked back at me, horror now evident in his emerald eyes.

He backed away then, releasing my other arm as if I had burned him, moving toward the secret door. "I am sorry," he breathed before disappearing into the dark tunnel, leaving me alone.

I still could not speak or think, but as I moved down to look at my hands, an unexpected whimper escaped me at what exactly was in my hand. _Alice__'__s __Adventures __in __Wonderland_. I did not know why, but somehow my dreams had become reality.

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**A/N: O_O …WHAT THE—? **

**Questions or comments? Was that too weird? Tell Me! PLEASE! Review and let me know your thoughts! ;) **

**On a lighter note: okay, so I should say that there indeed was a man named Sir. Joseph Swan who is credited with inventing the light bulb… Oh! And his mother's name? Isabella Swan! I know, weird right? LOL I just tweaked his origins to tie into my story, since I thought it was funny.**


	9. Madness

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

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Chapter 9 – Madness

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EPOV

Running.

I was running. There was darkness. I would have never made it out of the catacombs again if the route were not already locked in my memory.

_Pain_. It invaded my mind. Searing, blinding. I could not breathe.

I finally made it back to my chamber, and barely closed the secret door before collapsing on the floor. What had happened…? "_Edward. __Stop_."

I was screaming now. It felt as though I was on fire. Burning. "AH!" I barely registered the tears streaming from my eyes or the blood pouring from the wound on my head, nor the fearful voices that were now around me as I writhed on the floor. All I wanted was death. _Oh __God, __please_.

"Edward? What has happened?"

"Fetch the Doctor! Make haste!"

"Edward, can you hear me?"

I could, but only just. "AHH! Kill me! _Please!_ _KILL __ME_—Ah!" I begged, but they kept talking. Why were they not listening?

I felt arms lift me. "Take caution. He is bleeding."

The light changed. I could not see. Nor breathe… I could barely think, and that alone was becoming increasingly difficult. My body began to shake without warning. Violently. Then… darkness.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_She was breathtaking. More beautiful than any other creature I laid eyes on. Her dark, mahogany hair flowing in soft ringlets down her back; the pale, smooth expanse of the creamy skin; her full, pink lips slightly parted; her shapely, feminine body wrapped in rich sapphire… It was a glorious sight._

_I had thought that, until she smiled with such radiance that I became dumb. She came toward my person, gliding with elegance._

"_What is your name?"_

"_Edward," I breathed, barely able to stand the beauty before me._

"_Mmm. Edward," she said my name as though it were a reverent prayer, "I have been searching for you." Then she placed her lips against mine—_

I started awake, gasping. I attempted to open my eyes but the light around me was too exposed. It was bright where ever I was, and it's sting hurt far too much. I choose to listen as substitute in the hopes of discerning my location.

It was quiet, save for my breath and a slight hum in the air... I could not make it out. I attempted to move, and then immediately regretted the action. I groaned quietly, and then heard quiet laughter beside my now throbbing head. "Yes, you will want to refrain from moving, son. Rest for a while longer." I did not recognize the voice. It was kind and elderly from what I could perceive.

"Where am I?" My voice was harsh, barely louder than a whisper. Many queries were flitting about my mind, but this seemed the simplest.

"No need to worry, Edward. You are in good hands. Please, rest. I will return to see you at a later time. Rest."

As if complying with those words, my mind drifted until sleep was my companion yet again…

When consciousness claimed me once more, I was able to open my eyes. The room was still bright, but not painfully so. White covered nearly everything, and as I realized my location a man came in. He was older, perhaps in his fifties, with silver hair that was parted and combed impeccably. "Ah, Edward. It is good to see you awake. I am Dr. Gerandy." He said with a polite smile. He picked up a folder that was perched at the foot of the bed that I lay in, and browsed its contents before asking me questions. "Do you know why you are here, son?"

I thought for a moment, and regretted it. "I…am not sure." I replied, wincing.

"It appears that you suffered some blunt force trauma to the head, and as a result, your body went into shock and began seizing. Well, at least that is the best theory we can provide for the situation…" I ran my hand over where the gash was and gingerly felt the now closed cut. Then something he said caught my attention.

"Situation, Sir?"

He came and sat in the chair by the side of my bed, looking concerned. "We thought that there might be some kind of toxin in your body considering the paleness of your skin and the violent, abrupt convulsions. Do you remember this?"

I attempted to remember. "Yes... Yes, I can recall…that."

The doctor hummed lightly and said that he had other patients to attend to, and would be back. In the mean time I should attempt to remember what had led to my injuries.

I tried to think about what happened this past night, but could only remember pain. Hmm. Perhaps I should think back further…? I knew that yesterday was my birthday, and Bella had been my companion for the day. I remember our pillow fight and what we had said to each other throughout the day. I had even laughed as she realized that we had never properly dressed for the day. I thought through everything…and then stopped. My heart was suddenly thundering in my chest as I remembered her words. "_Kiss__me_."

Reality came crashing down then as I relived the darkest moment of my life…

_As my mind understood what she had just spoken, I realized that my arms were already bringing her closer to me. She wanted to kiss _me_? A thousand reasons passed through my head, both good and bad, as I watched her breathing stop in anticipation, awaiting my answer. Though I had wanted nothing more than to comply, I knew it was not the right thing to do. I attempted to convey as much, but she silenced me, and said those beautiful, terrible words again with more force. I had moved toward her, placing my lips against hers as she had commanded. They were perfect; soft and sweet, fitting between mine, as if made just for me. Her hand moved into my hair, tugging slightly to pull me closer and I knew in that moment I was done for. Everything about Bella was flawless and I knew that I could never feel this way with any other. Ever… My lips continued moving, tasting her skin and lips as my hands held her closer. I wished that this moment would never cease._

_But something was happening. My thoughts became dark of a sudden, as though they were not mine… No. I was overtaken._

_Suddenly, her kisses were not enough. I needed more. My hands moved and captured as I pressed my lips more firmly to her perfect skin. Tasting, touching, gasping. She was beautiful. So beautiful, and _mine_. _Always mine_. No one would take her from me again. I would not allow it. They would try, as always, but this time I made sure it was different. _He_ would not touch her again. She _is_ mine._

_I knew Bella was saying something, but I could not decipher it. I could only focus on the beauty surrounding me. Then, I was struck. Hard. Pain shot through my head and I realized… NO! They could not have her! I turned, pulling her toward me as I prepared to escape and then saw it… Bella had struck me? Tears were streaming down her face, and she gasped, looking as if she were seeing a specter._

_But then I could not remember…_

___What was wrong? I felt as though something was missing. My head was aching as my ears rang dully while I tried to discern what Bella was afraid of. "Bella?" I asked as she stared on in blank shock. I was about to ask what was wrong but then I realized my hands were clutching her forearms with nearly all my strength. How did that happen? I suddenly felt wetness on my head and reached up to feel my bleeding wound. I returned my gaze to Bella and then realized what I had done…or, very nearly done. "_Wait_," she had said, "_Stop_." Oh God. No. No, please, no! _  


_I backed away, disgusted as I realized that I had nearly…nearly… Ah! I could not even think it!_

I remembered what had happened then as I fled from her, the sudden pain that claimed me physically and emotionally. Had that truly happened? One moment I was awed at the mere touch of her lips, and the next I attacked her with my ravenous, repulsive hands. I had lost control of myself, not realizing until far too late.

An anguished cry left my lips and I wept, bitterly, as shame crushed me without mercy. How? _How_ could I have done…_that_ to her? The most precious thing in my whole world, and I had soiled it. I had poisoned her without question; tainting her lips with mine, and nearly her body as well. I clenched my jaw shut to subdue the tortured cry that attempted to escape once again. I closed my eyes as overwhelming pain consumed me, but it did nothing to ebb it as Bella's face was before me—burned into my memory—with fear saturating her wide, chocolate eyes. I thrust the palms of my hands against my eyes, attempting to push back the wetness that escaped. I eventually heard a nurse come in, who injected my arm with some substance and instructed me to lie down. I did as told, and in seconds the world became a blur as the sedative worked its way through my body, lulling me to unconsciousness.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I was finally allowed to return to my chamber. It had been two days since I had awoken in the medical wing, and since I had had no further complications, Dr. Gerandy permitted me leave as soon as I had explained how I had hit my head in a moment of clumsiness after eating some mushrooms I had found. I knew that it was probably the most nonsensical excuse—which after some convincing he decided to reluctantly believe my presumption—but I could not tell him the truth. Besides, what would I have said that was remotely considerable? _Well, __you __see, __after __I __spent __the __day __with __the __Princess, __I __had __kissed __and __nearly __ravaged __her __because __I __was __momentarily __insane, __so __she __stuck __my __head __to __get __away_… Yes, that would certainly not be a cause to have me thrown in the Asylum. I sighed.

I had thought and pondered as to what could have happened in my mind that night. How could I have possibly lost myself so much within her embrace? It hurt so much to think that I had betrayed her like that, and with seemingly no conscious cause on my part. No, I did not know the reason behind my actions or the illness that followed, but I knew that it mattered little in the wake of everything. Now, I could only make sure that I would never be the cause of her pain again.

I had already moved my bed and the small chest of drawers I had attained a few years ago to cover the secret catacombs' door. Prior to that I had taken borrowed books and trinkets and placed them next to where her chamber was, not daring to enter, thus ensuring that none of her belongings were in my possession. I could not keep them. Then with a final vow to myself of never using that passage again, I effectively began to take myself out of the Princess' life.

I knew that she would never wish to set eyes on me again, and though I was anguished with that knowledge, I knew that it was my duty to remove myself from her; I would avoid her presence at all costs, and treat her the proper way, as I should have always done. This was the only thing I could do to tell her that I would not attack her again, to apologize for it all. I had to pretend that I was indifferent. That there was nothing between us. Ever. And I did make it so. As if I had never existed…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The first days were difficult. I expected as much. What I had not anticipated? How much more painful each day became. Especially when I could here her voice in the next room, or when I placed myself out of sight when she passed by in the halls. It was not often that I was near her, but when I was it—it… There was no name for the ache that passed through my whole being; mind, body, and soul. It drowned me more so than before my wretched birthday. When I had believed that there was no worse pain than being apart from her. Oh but there was. I was living it. Living in the knowledge that I could never touch her again. Never hear her say my name with adoration. Never see her chocolate irises look into mine with compassion and…love.

Everything within me rejected that knowledge. But I knew better than to trust myself now when it came to thinking about the Princess.

It had been nearly a fortnight since that vile night and I knew that somehow my avoidance would not last forever without altogether leaving the palace—something I could not force myself to do yet.

I did not hear her enter the main sitting room as I replaced the logs in the hearth. I however did hear the door shut and turned to see that the Princess was moving the lock into place, effectively confining herself with me, apart from the secret door to the catacombs that was hidden in the stone wall near her side of the room.

I could see that she was ghostly pale and possibly trembling in the simple, peach colored dress that she wore, and though I longed to, I dared not meet her eyes for fear of what I might see. I waited with abated breath, frozen just as she was, and no doubt looking upon me with a burning gaze of disgust. It was a long time before she spoke, and I nearly wept at the sound of her voice.

"What are you doing?" Her voice was harsh, demanding, and it shook. I recoiled from it.

"I am sorry, Your Highness. Your servant did not realize that this room would be in use. I shall—"

"Enough." She spoke forcefully and I held my tongue. "Speak plainly Edward." I tried to understand what she wanted and spoke the only sentiment that coursed through me as of late.

"I am sorry, Your Highness. It is with true repentance that I speak to you now. I cannot begin to express—"

"Sorry? This is all you can say?" The Princess was angry now and marched to stand over my kneeling form. "I have waited almost two weeks to speak to you, to see you, to find out if I had killed you! Yet here you sit, going about your work as though nothing has happened. And all you will say is that you are sorry!"

Her voice was raising, and I knew if she did not remain calm that someone else would catch us. "Please, Princess. I did not wish to burden you with my presence. This was the best way—"

"The best way? To what? Torture me? Is that it? Are you punishing me for what I did? Tell me!"

Punishing her? Is that what she thought? After all the pain I was enduring to keep her safe, she believed that… "_Punish_ you? _You_?" Now it was I that was angry. I rose and finally forced myself to see her face, her perfect face that had eyes burning into my own with misplaced rage. "No, Princess, it was myself that has been punished and rightly so. I am your servant and now your aggressor. I am sure that you hate me enough for that."

"No, Edward. You cannot believe that. That I would have thrown everything we have away—"

"Why not? Is it not true? Do you not remember what happened? What I was going to do if you had not stopped me?"

"But that is just the problem, Edward. It was not _you_. Something—"

"Not me? Of course it was! And it _will __not_ happen again. I will die first."

"You are being ridiculous. Can you not hear yourself? You _will __not_ say such things. Do you hear me? I forbid it! We will figure this out _together_." She stared at me with wide eyes now, as though fear had gripped her. They were nearly the same eyes that I saw in the aftermath of what I had done, only now I could see that there was pain also. It was too much. And then I realized… No. She could not still care for me. If this was the true motive of her argument, then I had to quash it. And quickly. I had to retreat before she could sense my own torment.

"No, Your Highness. I know exactly what I said, and I…I refuse to play games any longer. I am your servant. I should be nothing else to you. And you… You _are_ the Princess. You are nothing more to me." It took every ounce of strength I had to speak those horrible lies.

She stared at me, slowly shaking her head as my prevarication registered in her mind. "Y-You—You do not mean that." There was no force behind her words now, and it almost destroyed me.

I placed the final nail in my coffin, then. "I do."

She backed away from me then, still tilting her head from side to side in disbelief as she tried to search my face for the lie, but I kept it hidden well. Turning she ran from the room then and I forced myself to be still when all I wanted was to run after her and say that I did not mean it. But I could not. She had to move on with her life; a life that I could never be a part of. And now, we had to accept it.

That night, I wept. As much as I regretted what I had spoken to her, it was more grieved that she believed me. She did not even correct me when I called her by her title. So she must have thought I had truly renounced our friendship. I could see that she did, so easily. I only wished that I could lie to myself as well.

Then I could maybe move on. Leave the palace and seek out my family, if they yet lived. I could meet a girl and fall in love. A beautiful girl, with dark hair and pale skin and…and…_Wish __that __she __was _her.

No. I could never do that. _She_ had ruined me for every other female. I would never be happy with someone else. I knew that. Not if I lived one hundred years without her would I want another. I had known it for some time, yet I pushed my feelings aside in hopes that it was not truly what I was experiencing. But now, I felt as though this knowledge weighed on me as I drowned in my grief and sorrow, and if I did not confess it to at least myself it would be the death of me…

So I whispered it, confessing my sin to God. "I love you, Princess… I will _never_ stop."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I was having strange dreams as of late. Frequently, they centered on both _her_ and me, as if in another time; happiness surrounded us and I felt that I was in the only home I have ever know when wrapped in her arms. Yet, I often noticed that we were not our present selves, but older, more mature, if you will, and there was a…darkness surrounding. I did not know how else to describe it. A foreboding that hung above and threatened to bring terror and destruction. In the dreams, I knew that I could stop it, but could not discover how before I awoke, gasping and drenched in fear and woe.

But there were other dreams… dreams of the small girl with short hair and striking blue eyes, where darkness took hold of me and she spoke, still cryptic, of the task she beseeched, "Do not expose yourself to any other…take care of her." The words had a deeper meaning, but of what, I did not know.

All I could do was lie in the shadows.

I had convinced the Princess that my affections were dispersed and though she pretended that I had no effect, her attempt did not fool anyone. It was all too plain that Her Highness was grieved with depression. The normal color in her cheeks was replaced with pallid frailty, her hair was thin, without its body and sheen, and lifeless just as her eyes were lifeless. Void of the joy, peace, and animation they once held.

And though I still avoided her sight, I cannot deny that there were often moments where I would steal my glances, feeding my selfish desire for her. I cursed myself for not having the power to leave her in peace. If I were only strong enough to go, she would soon forget me, as one moves forward from childish fancies, leaving them behind so they may pass into maturity. I am as such. Only she could not see that. She could not see how nothing good could come from our relationship. What happened the night of my birthday was evidence enough, I could not bare it to continue.

_It was not fair. _

Though I wanted to believe that it was for myself, that I had given up because I had tired of being with her, I knew that that was also something I could not lie about. Everything in my life revolved around her. She was the center of my whole world, the reason I breathed each day and why my heart continued to beat in my chest. Those first months, I could remember my timidity and fear of even looking upon her, let alone speaking to and touching her, as if I, a peasant, were even comparable in the slightest to this goddess. She is so much more than my best friend, more than my Princess, more than the girl I love.

She is my Queen, my salvation… _my __Bella_. Not even death would change that.

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**A/N: Sorry for the shortness and the wait guys. This chapter was difficult, so it took longer. I know two weeks is long :( and I hope you'll forgive me. That's all I can ask. RL is going to be interfering big time with my grad. classes beginning now and I hope to keep my updates under the two-week mark. **

**Just a reminder that I have a LJ for this story and will try to post how I'm doing on updates on there when I can. Link is on my profile. Thanks for continuing to read! I love you all!**


	10. Distractions

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Special shout outs to a few of my readers and reviewers who have been giving support non-stop: eli-rose, Sweetie7smiled, SuperK4141, PiecesOfMyHeartAreMissingYou, CassieCat97, and DreamerRoad. **

**You guys make me smile with the reviews you give every single chapter!**

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Chapter 10 – Distractions

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BPOV

I felt hollow. Like a specter, who walks the earth in shadow without reason. I had lost my reason for life. And he would not see what was left of my being.

"_You __are __nothing __more __to __me_."

I wanted to scream in anguish at his deceitful words. It was the cruelest of lies as he spoke with no feeling, and knowing that he refused to even see what had really happened, I discerned what his true mission was: to push me away. I thought that it was absurd—that he would realize what happened was not his fault, and come back to me when he was ready. Then we could discuss it and find out what happened… But I was horribly wrong as the weeks past and he avoided me at every turn.

Did he harbor such hate that he could not even stand to look at me?

Even the rare occurrences, where I would attempt to engage him in a simple greeting, had left me heart broken as his lifeless eyes met mine and he spoke without any emotion, always addressing me as "Princess." I hated it more now then ever because he meant it. There was no playful tease or jest to it at all anymore; only duty and misplaced deference laced his demeanor. And I loathed it. Why did he insist on making me angry? He used to tell me that he hated to see me upset, and yet, here I am, suffering his cruelty and he barely bats an eye.

And why? Because of my foolish request that had caused something to change within him. I utterly detested how I had ruined everything. He had told me he could not kiss me, yet I had only heard the desire instead of the warning. Now, I was atoning for it. For my desires. Slowly. Painfully. Day after day eating away at the little strength I had left without him.

I had begun to lose myself. Having no desires to eat or to speak… I barely was able to rise from my bed after a while. Edward had taken my joy with him when he had left me alone, leaving first pain, then anger, and now lassitude joined them. The ache in my breast was heavy as I struggled to continue my duties. Mostly no one seemed to notice the pain I held within.

Except Father, who, strangely, began paying attention to my moods. He often inquired as to what was troubling me, but brushing it away as fatigue seemed to satisfy his concerns. He did request that Mother lessen her quest to show me about to the whole of the country, for which I was fleetingly relieved. Though that feeling lasted but a short moment before I realized that I had more time to rest—without Edward. Without my happiness.

I needed to find a way to get him back. To understand what had happened the night we kissed. It was clear that whatever had possessed him was the cause…and perhaps our kiss is what had begun it? I ground my teeth in frustration as thoughts of reason evaded me. All I knew for certain was that Edward himself had not harmed me, and I had to find the source of this—this transformation from my Edward to the one with golden eyes. I suspected that it was not just coincidence or circumstance that this happened by. Perhaps it had to do with his lineage?

_But how can I discover that when even he cannot recall his family? Nor will he even speak to me now. And I very well could not find them on my own…_

Lightening struck then. Maybe there was someone else who could tell me. I knew that he lived in a workhouse… Maybe they could inform me of how he came to be there, as a start. Yes, that will do. The only trouble would be how to get there without notice.

While pondering that, I decided that some employment was better than wondering about, trying not to think of him. So, I rode with Mrs. Stanley to the library in town, seeking to find out about a more tangible subject: the Cullens.

Though, of course no one knew what my true task was. Mrs. Stanley often found my interest in reading tiresome, and did not linger by my side as I searched for our neighbors in the stacks—and with very little luck I might add. The struggle to focus on anything but the weight upon my heart did not help either. I noted that this place was much smaller than the library of my home, yet still grand, and because dejection continually drew my attention I sought out a worker who might help focus my search.

There was a young woman behind a desk in the main hall with dark, curly hair draped over her face as she leaned forward.

"Excuse me?"

She started, surprised. "Y-yes, Your Highness? May I offer any assistance?" Her voice was meek, as if she were afraid of me. I tried to smile.

"Yes, I had hoped you might be able to. I am looking for some specific historicals…?"

She stood, already making her way across the desk. "Of course, Your Highness. Shall I show you where they are?"

I leaned in closer, not wanting to draw any sort of attention. "Well, I have already looked, and did not see much of the particular topic I wished to learn more about." _Though __that __was __only __half __the __truth_. I paused before elaborating, "About Londra, and more specifically, the Cullen Family."

She stared, wide eyed, "I—I am not sure, Your Highness, that we have much information on them."

"Please, understand me, miss…?"

"Carmen, Your Highness."

"Carmen." I mustered all the strength I could to smile. "I am aware that my father, the King, has strict rules about our neighbors. However, I am not so biased, and must find out some, um, delicate information. If you can help in any way, I would be most grateful."

She looked about, nervously before whispering, "There are a few volumes that I am aware of, Your Highness. About their lineage and the political amity that was once between the kingdoms, I believe. I cannot retrieve them at this moment, but I could in the next few days."

My hope swelled. "That would be most helpful." Solving one intrigue was sure to help me somehow. I took a few coins from my small purse, placing them in her hand. "Here, for your trouble, and silence." I gave a look, to which she nodded, showing that she immediately understood what I was asking. "Thank you Carmen. I truly appreciate your help, and would it be too much trouble for you to deliver them to the Palace?"

"Of course not, Your Highness." She smiled, relaxed at our somewhat comfortable talk, and I bid her farewell. I moved through the stacks to seek out Mrs. Stanley—she always placed herself in a seat near the entrance—when I noticed one of the books I passed by had a symbol on it that caught my attention.

The book was frayed, weathered by age it seemed, bound in black leather. On the spine of it was a symbol that looked like a knot made of two ribbons that swirled and twisted about each other, never ending their connection; I recognized it because it was the same design that had been etched inside my locket. Curious as to what it could mean, I removed the book and read the title: _Protection, __Love, __and __Peace; __Spells __for __the __Beloved._ I looked around and realized that this part of the library stored texts on sorcery. I decided that it was something worth looking into while I waited for the other books, and placed it beneath my shawl. I did not care to have anyone know of my interest in this topic, especially considering how I wanted to know more about the Cullens.

Finally finding Mrs. Stanley, we returned to the carriage and made our journey back to the palace. I kept the book hidden in my arms and she never noticed.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

An hour later, we were home. As soon as we had rode up to the door, I could feel him. Edward was nearby, and though my eyes moved—of their own accord—to seek him out, I sighed softly when he did not enter my vision. Perhaps I had been playing tricks on myself.

I pushed the sorrowful thoughts aside as I made my way toward my chamber to hide the book I had borrowed before hurrying into the dinning chamber for supper. Though I could not bring myself to eat as I should. Instead I sat there, moving the food around my plate as Mother and Father spoke of meetings and go sees and festivals and such. I barely heard a word of it, as usual. Their conversations rarely included anything of consequence to me, just as my studies, and I simply did not have the will to pretend to listen anymore. At long last, our meal was ended and just as I was about to retreat, Father caught my arm and asked to speak with me in his study. I followed, quite nervous of a sudden.

He closed the door and moved to sit on the edge of the large mahogany desk sitting in front of the wide, floor-to-ceiling windows. I sat in the plush chair to the left, awaiting his reason for speaking to me.

Finally, he spoke. "Isabella, I know that I have not been the most affable father. There are reasons I have not been there for you as I should, and… well, I wanted to apologize. I realize that your mother has made quite a fuss over preparing you for what lies ahead, and I feel as though I have missed your childhood." He paused, clearly uncomfortable with this discussion.

My father was a stern man when it came to running his country, and though I wished he spent more time with me, I had never blamed him for it. Hundreds of thousands of people relied on him. But this…was quite strange as he had never shown much affection toward me in words. It filled me with uneasiness.

"Do not trouble yourself, Father. I am aware of your obligations, and I know that it is important to perform one's duty," I said, attempting to believe it myself. Yet, all I could think was that if I had no such duty, then maybe Edward would still be by my side somehow.

He cleared his throat brusquely, drawing my attention while alleviating a small amount of the weight of his words. "Isabella, I… I wish to discuss your future."

"Yes, Father?" Uneasiness quickly became fear. "What about it?"

"You are becoming a fine young woman, and—and well, I wanted to speak to you about a husband." He stopped there, waiting for a response.

…

"I know this is untimely considering your age at present, but perhaps it is time that you begin to take a suitor." He rose from his perch on the desk, moving to look at anything but me. "There are many young men who have shown interest—"

"Yes," I had finally broken out of my astonishment, "and they are all loathsome, pompous, arrogant vultures who seek my wealth and outer beauty!" Could he really be suggesting that I marry one of _them_?

"Maybe if you gave them a moment to speak to you—instead of avoiding them—a few could perhaps show that they are not the vultures as you have labeled them. Unfairly, I might add."

"I have spoken with them. And they are all the same."

"How so?"

"It…it is the way they see me. As if I am a trophy for their mantle. They do not look at me like—like…" _Like_he_used__to_. I resisted the sob that threatened to escape. "Like they want to know who I truly am beyond being the _Princess_." Anger covered sadness quite well.

Father turned to me, grinning with condescension. "Oh my sweet, you have no idea of how silly you are being."

"I _am __not_ being silly."

"Precious, it is a wonderful thing to be loved. This is what you seek, I can tell. Yet, you must realize that you must be with someone to love them." _Not __necessarily_, I thought bitterly. "Love cannot simply be recognized in an instant. It is something that grows out of respect and trust, blossoming like a flower, beginning as a seed in the ground before rising to beauty in the light of the sun. This you will find, someday, but not without effort."

He looked at me with pity in his eyes, before it changed to curiosity, "Or has someone already stolen your heart?"

I did not reply, so of course he knew in that moment.

"Hmm, so who is the lucky young man? …Demetri, perhaps? He is sweet on you. There's no doubt of that." He chuckled. "How many times has he called upon you this week past?"

I grimaced at that, knowing that nearly every other day he was sending me gifts, or calling on me.

"You should invite him to be your partner at the Spring Ball this Wednesday next. I'm sure it would be a great opportunity for you two to get to know each other."

"Enough Father. Demetri is most certainly not any type of _sweet_ I would even consider. I am not without reason, and though you seek to instruct me, please understand that I will not be courted by, or marry, someone whom I do not love. Do not waste your counsel or time, for it is useless to me." With that, I strode from his study, attempting to retain the last few pieces of dignity I could as I heard his soft laugh behind me.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Tears rolled down my face as I was awoken by another unwanted dream. The same one I had been having for months. Though it did not occur every night, the aching pain made it seem so.

"_I __love __you. __Remember __that. __No __matter __what __happens, __I __love __you, __Bella._"

"I will..." I whispered, answering the words in my head…in my head and in my heart. I knew that he had never spoken them, but it did not matter when every moment I reflected on of our time together showed me that he certainly thought them.

_Is that the absolute truth, though?_

_Of __course __it __is_. It had to be.

I lay back down, burying my head below the pillows on my bed. I tried in vain to push the hollow feeling away, but could not seem to. The more I wanted to not think of Edward, the more he invaded my mind. I sat up then, finding it useless to stay in bed and made my way to the only place that now gave me a tiny piece of comfort.

Moving through the catacombs was bittersweet for me now, as I knew that Edward and I would perhaps never go to each other by this way again. I walked quickly, carrying a small blanket in my arms. Approaching the hidden door to Edward's chamber, I stopped and listened for any kind of sound from the other side, but there was nothing there. I sank to the cold, stone ground, wrapping the blanket around me as I rested my head against the door. I always took this blanket because it was the one I had given him; the one he had left in this passage, among other things, before sealing over the door. It still smelled like him, which soothed me greatly. This, and being just a small amount of space nearer to him. It was certainly not near enough, but as close as I could get without being caught by him or anyone else. Yes, I would often spend many nights here in the cold, dark tunnel, just to calm myself from the pains that sleep brought. It was not comfortable at all, but I would usually pretend that Edward and I had run away and were sleeping under the stars, but instead of having my blanket, it was Edward wrapped around me, keeping me warm during the cold nights. It did help, too, that sometimes I could almost hear his voice from the room just beyond.

As I allowed my thoughts drift, I let myself wonder about what had really happened the night he kissed me. It was over so fast, but I tried to remember every detail. How I could barely breathe as I waited for his lips to touch mine, or when his hands seized me—claiming me for his own…it was so beautiful, so _right_. And yet, it seemed seconds later that Edward was gone. In his place, a stranger that I had never known. Everything was wrong then. I could not stand the idea of any other touching me, kissing me. That is why I had to stop him; it was not Edward anymore. I could feel the change…the desperation and selfish possession that claimed him. He was touching me and kissing me as if he were some kind of animal. And seeing his beautifully verdant eyes changed was too much. Too much like the dreams that were—are—haunting nearly every night.

I knew it was too extraordinary to be a coincidence that my dreams had become reality. Though I had hoped what I saw was only an illusion of my mind, I knew that wishful thinking would not help me, nor Edward.

_But __what __had __made __him __change?_ I continued to ask myself this over and over, but the problem was that I had no way of knowing _exactly_ what the cause was, besides the kiss itself. That information still did not make any factual hypothesis to me, though. Edward had kissed me many times; the top of my head, my hands, my forehead and cheeks. All of these affections never sent his eyes aflame or his being astray.

I closed my eyes in frustration. This train of thought was causing my head to ache and I knew being deprived of sleep did not aid my efforts either. Resigned to not brood over these thoughts any longer, I laid down, wrapping the blanket tighter against my frame, and pretended that I had no problem that needed any answers.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The next few days I spent studying the book that bore the symbol etched inside my locket.

According to the text, it was called the Shield of the Ancients, used in the archaic times by humans to protect themselves from the Instruments of the gods. These Instruments apparently sought out humans and ensnared them with their beauty, but also with their boundless dominance of all things. They would entice the human with their own desires before taking them away from their place on earth, where or why, not one mortal knows. Thus, the humans found a way to steel their minds against these foes by creating an ethereal shield against the Instruments' seductive powers. They either wore this symbol, or marked it into their skin for more permanent uses. It is still a powerful sign of protection against any evil in modern society, and can help to ward off black magics.

I almost laughed at the ridiculousness of these findings. There was more to read, and though I was intrigued by the story, I felt I had gathered enough information on the subject. _No __doubt __Reverend __Marcus __persuaded __Father __to __favor __this __engraving._ It was silly, but I could not resist grinning at the sentiment of what it meant.

It did not, however, make me forget my annoyance with Father after our last proper conversation. Nor his implications about Demetri Volturi. The mere idea that I would have anyone, particularly him, for a husband sent my stomach into a state of nausea. I did not care how many times he called on me, or sent me letters or flowers. I had no intentions of returning his sentiments.

One of the servants knocked on my door, saying I had a letter delivered.

_Speak __of __the __Devil__…__or __rather_ think_, __I __suppose._

I rose from the window seat and opened the door. "Your Highness," he said, holding out the letter.

"Thank you."

After he promptly strode away, I looked down and saw that this was from someone else. Carmen, the girl from the public library. Odd. Should there not also be books with this? I opened the letter hastily, wondering what had happened. _Your __Highness, __Princess __Isabella_, it began:

_I pray this letter finds Your Highness in good health. I must beg your forgiveness for not delivering the historicals that you requested of me two days past. I sought them out, but in acquiring them I have inadvertently brought some less than wanted attention to myself, and now I fear that I am being watched closely. It is not wise for me at present to bring them to the Palace. If they are still of importance to Your Highness, I bit you come to claim them as I am sure you will be protected in a way that I am not. They are here with me in the library, wrapped and waiting for you. _

_ Kindest Regards,_

_ Carmen Denali_

I stared at the delicate handwriting, puzzled. How could one fear for their life over some silly books? I found it somewhat foreboding, nonetheless, and could not fathom as to how I could retrieve them when I had only just visited there a few days ago… I could send someone, I suppose. Perhaps, since the books were sealed, I could give the task to Mrs. Stanley. Her constant judgments of my behavior lately did not give me much desire to have her near. Which consequently made up my mind to send her for them. A royal servant would be out of harms way, and I am sure that Carmen had genuine cause to be alarmed, but I could not fathom that anyone would truly _harm_ her in any way over this subject. Especially since it was not outlawed to have or know information about the Cullens, just disliked.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I sighed heavily while gazing at the couples gracefully gliding across the dance floor. Another pointless gathering of posh people who believe they are better than others because of who their families happen to be.

Another reason I appreciated Edward's friendship: it gave me a clear vision of what the world was truly like. I saw the other side of life and appreciated those who had to work for their keep. And speaking of Edward, I became painfully aware of him as he moved through the hall, serving and moving trays back and forth between here and the kitchen. Not once did he look at me, but I could not seem to do the same. I sighed longingly at the thought.

"Having a good time, Isabella?"

I turned around to see Sir Thomas, leader of Father's personal guard and the nation's army. Over six feet tall with blond hair that was now interspersed with grey locks. He was one of Father's oldest and most trusted friends. I had known him all my life, but rarely saw him, especially at this sort of event. Often his wife, Anna, attended social events without him due to the rigorous scheduling he undertook with the knights and soldiers.

"Hello, Sir Thomas. I am attempting to." I believe I smiled. "Father did not mention you were going to be in attendance."

"No? I decided that my wife could enjoy one night with me present." He laughed.

"Well, I am glad for her sake then. And how are you this evening?"

"I am quite well, thank you. Though I am concerned about a certain, beautiful princess who seems to be brooding in the shadows, when she should be dancing and having a gay time." He looked at me with discontent written on all his features. "You have blossomed overnight, it seems. Yet, there is no one here to escort you."

"That is of my own doing, I am afraid. Actually, I do not seem to be feeling well as of late," I lied. "As a matter of fact, I was just about to retire—"

"Oh, nonsense. Life is far too short for such actions. Now wait here just a moment." He turned, walking briskly away, leaving me puzzled as to why he told me to stay. Only a moment passed before he returned with a young man that seemed strangely familiar. "Isabella, you remember my son, Jasper."

The young man smiled, bowing his head toward me. He was as tall as his father, lean and muscular from what I could tell, with bright eyes that shone like polished silver, and flaxen hair that hung about his head in waves.

And I did remember him, if only briefly. Jasper was one of our soldiers. Training, ever since he was a boy, night and day with his father to learn how to defend our kingdom. I had seen him on rare occasion, but that was scarcely more than a handful of times. We had never spoken that I could recall.

"Of course. Hello Jasper." I smiled faintly, attempting to keep up the façade of happiness, though it was quite strenuous.

"Good evening, Your Highness." His voice was soft, warm. " Father tells me your dance card is not full yet, and I wondered if I may have the next dance?"

I looked to Sir Thomas, shocked that he felt the need to tend to my entertainment. He only winked, nodding his head in silence, telling me to accept. So I did, allowing Jasper to lead me onto the floor.

We spoke shortly of inconsequential things while we stood at the edge of the floor, awaiting the next song; the ghastly weather…our parents…nothing of note. It was nice speaking with him, but as we danced—a simple Minuet, luckily—I could not help my wondering eyes, which Jasper seemed to take no notice of.

"So, who is he?"

_Scratch that…_

"I beg your pardon?"

"The one you are looking for, I mean. Who hurt you."

"I am not looking for anyone," I said after a long pause.

He pursed his lips, catching my lie and omission. "Forgive me. I do not mean to presume, Your Highness—"

"Isabella," I corrected.

He smiled softly. "Isabella. I know it is forward of me to say so, but whoever you are hurting over must not know how foolish he is."

My eyes dropped to his chest, as I was now becoming quite uncomfortable with his ability in assessing my current feelings. Was it truly that plain to see? "Am I that evident?"

"No, I am simply a good reader when it comes to emotions."

"Oh."

"What happened, if you do not mind my asking?"

Strangely enough, I did not mind. Though I should. For some reason, I felt…oddly comfortable speaking with him. Why, I did not know, but suddenly wondered if speaking to someone else would help lift some of the weight off my heavy heart. I did not have to tell him the details. It was not as if Jasper would really _know_ anything.

"Um…W-well, he…I…it is…"

"Complicated?" He finished.

"In no little sense." I paused, taking a deep breath. "We are different. From different places in life, and he feels that it is better to move on separately, than to watch each other from behind the glass wall that separates our lives." That was the best I could do without giving Edward's station away. No doubt Jasper would find it horrid, like the rest of them, if I were to tell him exactly whom I felt for. At that moment my eyes found him again in the crowd, watching as his retreating form disappeared from the room. My heart clenched as I remembered how he ran from me that night…

"I am sorry, Isabella. Unfortunately, I have no true advice I can give you, save for this: If you love him, and he you, then nothing else should matter apart from the happiness you bring to each other." _If __only __that __were __possible_…He grinned despondently while holding my hand more firmly in his. A consoling gesture that I appreciated greatly.

"Thank you."

He nodded. Our dance came to an end then, and he bid me goodnight after I had thanked him for the dance and mentioned my weariness. I made my way toward the grand doors when a figure hastily blocked my path.

Demetri.

"Well, well, well… If it isn't the dear Princess herself."

"Hello Demetri," I said curtly. I did not wish to waste my time or breath on him. "I am sorry, but I am a bit under the weather at present, so if you will—"

"Oh yes, I had heard so. Yet, I find it strange that you seemed to fare well dancing with the General's son."

"I do not need to explain myself, Demetri." I snapped, clearly showing that I disliked how he watched me. "Now, I bid you goodnight."

Though I had begun to storm off, he did not let me alone. "All right, Princess. Very well, I understand you do not wish me to be jealous. But please understand my dissatisfaction of not being able to speak with you. Surely, you must know of my affections. Please, just allow me one moment of your time?"

It was probably for the best that I allow him this. Perhaps then he would finally understand that I could never make him happy. "Very well then. Speak."

He held out his hand then, moving closer. "May we speak in private, Princess? I do not wish to bring any attention to our conversation."

I pursed my lips. It was not really a good idea for a woman to be un-chaperoned…

"It will only be a short time."

"Very well. Come, this way." I led him to the sitting room just outside the entrance to the ballroom.

As soon as we entered, Demetri held fast to my arm, swinging the door shut before pulling me further into the room. "What _are_ you doing?" I squealed, recoiling from the pain his hand caused.

He smiled menacingly before pressing my body against the far wall. "Nothing to worry about, my sweet. Just taking what should be mine."

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**A/N: I've been feeling sick, so I'm going to keep it short. Sorry for the cliffie. Please review and let me know what you think? **

**BTW, I've been noticing that there are an average of over 300 visits for the last few chapters, but I only receive a few reviews. :( It really does help motivate me when I see your feedback, so if you could click that little green button below, I'd love to hear from you—whether it's a short two words, or a mini novel. I'm allowing anonymous reviews now, if that helps. Just know that I won't be able to reply to you and say thanks. **

**Until next time, friends. **

**Amy**


	11. Part I, Defend

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**WARNING: Violence mentioned in this chapter. Proceed with caution if that bothers you.**

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Chapter 11 – Part I, Defend

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EPOV

I had been waiting all day, it seemed. Should she not have returned by now?

She had left so long ago.

Finally, I heard the carriage approach, and watched as she was led out. Why had it taken so long? The light was nearly gone from the sky. I could barely make out her face as she glanced about before rushing inside. I ran from my perch to follow her trail, inside toward her chamber, keeping my distance and being cautious that no one spied my action. As soon as she disappeared down the east wing, I knew I could go no further. Being a kitchen boy did not merit me any reason to be in this part of the palace, so I could not risk following, lest I be caught. No matter how much I needed to have her…touch her…

_Just once…that is all I need. _

_I could handle it. Yes, I could. Of course._

_Just one touch...one stroke…one feel—_

_No!_ "…No." I breathed, closing my eyes at the strain in my voice.

I swallowed roughly. My emotions were running rampant. Carnal desires clouding judgment and reason. It was driving me mad. Want, desire, _need_. And all centered on _her_. Every second, of every minute, of every horrid day I fought to keep my goal. And what a fight it was, considering that my will was weakening. I often frightened myself with the possessive thoughts that were now invading my mind. I tried to convince myself, at first, that it was only an effect of the initial loss because I did not want to let her go.

But now?

It is as if my body _hungers_ after hers. As if I am being consumed by not having her… My hands now convulse from the withdrawal. The most addictive pleasure right under my fingertips, but I could no longer indulge. It was utter madness. I could have yielded to myself, beg her forgiveness, and let her be mine again. The only trouble was that I knew I'd have to let her go eventually. And it would kill me.

No, it is better to drive her away, than have her taken from me. I repeated that to myself frequently, because I found some commiseration that at least I could control the former. Not to mention that I would rather die than let anyone take her from me.

I finally forced myself away from the hallway, struggling with my thoughts, as I always did now.

Something was…_wrong_ with me. I was not myself, it seemed. It grew worse with each passing day. I felt strangely aggressive and cross, and without warning my temper flared, at the most simple tasks or instructions. Of course, this meant that I was almost always on verge of being lashed. And not only had my behavior changed, I had also begun to _hear_ things—or voices, rather—though it was not with my ears that I heard them… but my _mind_. It had only happened a few times and I could not be sure what was going on exactly as it sounded like a muted tumult, baffling and indistinguishable as if I were listening to them under water. I did not know what to make of it.

Forcing myself away from those unsettling thoughts, I finished the rest of my duties in the kitchen quietly before bidding Cook a goodnight.

"Goodnight, Cook," I said and turned with the intention of retiring to my chamber.

"Just a moment, young man." Her voice was stern, stopping my tracks. "Might you like to tell me just what's been troubling you so much?"

I was a bit taken aback by her inquisitiveness, since Cook rarely spoke to anyone about anything, even with me, thought I knew she felt kindly toward me. I suspected that she had been attempting to discover the cause of my change in demeanor, but it was of no use to guess, so it seemed she decided to ask. Still, there was no way to tell her my troubles. "Nothing, ma'am."

"If it were nothing, you wouldn't be brooding around here like a rabbit who's lost his tail. Now, don't tell me: it's girl troubles, right?" I was about to protest, but the stern look she gave caused me to reconsider for some reason.

"Perhaps."

Nodding, she answered, "Of course. What else vexes all men?" She smiled as though she had any idea what my struggles were. "I can see that you do not want my opinion. Just remember, dear, that some things are simpler than they seem. You are a smart young man. Don't make your life so complicated. All right?"

I simply nodded, not wanting to be rude in telling her that I was not the reason for all the complications of this mess that was my life, and finally left the kitchen.

Going back to my chamber in the evening was both a relief and a strain. I could not pinpoint the reason, but I often felt closer to _her_, and yet not close enough to drive away the growing lunacy of my mind. I often lay in my bed, twisting, turning, and forcing myself to stay where I was. Tonight was one of the more difficult as the hours passed and the need grew very strong. It felt as though I could almost feel her near me, almost smell the perfume of her skin, almost hear her talking in her sleep.

My hands were convulsing, almost violently so.

Eventually I could not stand it any longer and rose several hours earlier than I had to, and made my way to the forest, to the meadow where we used to play. Darkness claimed all still, with cold billows of fog that covering everything. Leaving our once sanctuary in shadow and solitude. I sat on the damp ground, waiting for the coming dawn. For the moment when the light would keep the darkness at bay.

It felt like forever that I sat here before the sun rose, pondering what the reason could be that I was here. More quizzical was why I questioned my being here in the first place. But I had this strange feeling that something was a miss, and not only with myself. I could not explain it properly, but without having her near, it was as if I had no purpose. No reason to exist in this place at all.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Day in and day out I was attending my duties with a persistence to shut out any of the madness that had been going through my head of late. Tonight was a challenge because the King and Queen were hosting the annual Spring Ball; as everyone celebrated life and new beginnings, I had to endure the pain of misery and chaos. Not to mention the massive ache in my chest while being in relatively close proximity with perhaps the most perfect being on the planet. My body still shook from the sight of her.

I was very careful throughout the night not to look in her direction, even though I could feel her gaze following me at times. I did spare a glance or two when I was sure she would not catch me. Her hair was swept up in braids and curls, leaving her graceful throat exposed. Her dress was a pale pink color, wrapping around her delicate skin beautifully in yards of satin while showing off the slender curve of her shoulders. I dug my fingers into my palms, fighting the urge to go to her. She was stunning as always, though I still noticed evidence of unhappiness in her features. My resolve to stay away from her waivered a great deal in that moment, just as it always did when I permitted myself to look at her. Even after these nine months past, she still held on to some part of that pain I had seen in her eyes the last time we spoke. The pain I had _caused_.

I returned to the kitchen, picking up another tray to serve the so-called gentlemen and ladies of nobility. Though I nearly dropped it all as I returned to find something that churned my stomach and made my blood boil all at once.

Instead of spying her near the thrones where the King and Queen sat, she was being led to the side of the dance floor by a tall, blond man. From his outfit, I could tell he was a military man. A Captain perhaps. As the next song began, I watched closely as he took her hand and then danced with _my_ princess. He looked at her with kindness as they spoke, but I could tell he fancied her—just as they all did.

But they could not have her_. __And __that __includes __you_, I thought. Then the anger came. _Why __was __she __doing __this __to __me? __Did __she __like __provoking __my __anger? __This _is not _a __game, __love._

It was the first time in months I had seen her give more than a fleeting acknowledgement to another. And I loathed it. I _hated_ it. I continued to watch, and every small smile he gained was like a knife, sharp and twisted in my chest. My breathing became labored, and I felt the sting of my nails as they bit into my flesh. Eventually I made myself leave the room, lest my body betray me. I waited for my anger to pass in the servants' hall between the kitchen and the ballroom. I sat near the kitchen door in a dark corner with my hands pulling at the hair on my head, realizing quickly that I could think properly now that I was not in the same room. I took advantage of the somewhat quiet here and tried to organize my thoughts…

_How can you be angry when forcing her away is your own doing? She merely accepted a dance, not a marriage proposal… yet. _I sighed._ What she does, or whom she spends her time with now is not your concern. There was no harm done by one dance, and sooner or later she _will_ be courted, then engaged, and married. Then you can end yourself happily and be done with it all._

I chuckled a bit at my nonsensical inner speech.

Finally I became calm, watching as the others were walking past—with little attention paid to me, thankfully—when I heard one of the girls say something that made the anger flare again.

"—you are so naïve. Obviously he wanted some _private_ time with the princess." A laugh. "Why else would they have walked off together…" Her voice trailed of as she entered the kitchen.

_What?_

I ran back to the ball, knowing that it was impossible. She would not do that. It was not like her. And if I found her with that blond, he would pay for touching her.

I searched the mass of people, and though I found the one she had been dancing with, I did not spy her anywhere.

"Where are you?" I breathed.

Worry suddenly seized my being, and I knew that wherever she was, it was not because she wanted to be there. Moving around the tumult of people, I dashed for the main door of the room. If she had left, it would have been through here. Maybe I was not far behind. I finally made my way out, but as I began to roam the nearby halls, I knew there was no way I could figure out where she had gone. There were simply too many routes.

I headed back toward the ballroom. Maybe I could ask the girls who saw her if they noticed where—

_Crash_

My thoughts were stopped from the small, but abrupt sound of glass shattering; I would not have even heard it if I had not been just outside the ballroom doors. It sounded as if it came from the sitting room to my left, and noticing that there was a dim light coming from under the door I immediately reached for the handle, quietly opening the door to see my beautiful girl, being held against the far wall by Demetri Volturi. White-hot rage invaded my vision as I took in the scene before my eyes. One of his hands was wrapped around her throat, while the other held a dagger to the flesh just above her heart. Her eyes were drowning in what looked like fear and anger while he smiled menacingly, though he was bleeding from a gash on the side of his face.

"I was going to make this easy on you, _princess_." He sneered. "But now, I will make sure that you suffer before I put you back where you belong."

Not even knowing I had taken a step, I had crossed the room and gripped his arm, forcing the blade away from Bella's skin. Before he could even fully realize my presence I had struck his face with my fist, making him let go of her throat and stumble backward.

Recovering quickly, he growled, "You'll pay for that, peasant."

I did not acknowledge his vow as he lunged forward for me. I ducked out of the way, striking his back as he fell to the ground. He rose, trying to deliver a blow, but I was faster and hit him square in the gut before I connected my fist to his jaw again, causing him to return to the floor feebly.

But I was not finished with the blackguard yet.

I knelt, rolling his body over and striking his jaw with my fist again before he could recover. He attempted to retaliate, but I kept smashing his face. "You will _never_ touch her again!" I bellowed, feeling his nose break under the force of my hand. No one could hurt my Bella and live. "I _will_ kill you!" Strike after strike, his face became bloodier and though he had lost consciousness, I still hit him with everything I had…until one small whimper stilled my rage.

I turned to see my Bella, and everything in me turned to ice as I saw her, curled on the floor with her hands covering her face, trembling in fear.

I released the hold I had on Demetri without a second thought, and moved to sit next to her shaking form. Examining her quickly, I noticed that the front of her dress and corset were completely torn open and her left hand was covered in blood as she wept. Glass and roses covered the floor on the other side of her body. I removed the coat I had, placing it around her exposed form. She flinched, lifting her eyes to mine swiftly. "Edward?" I could barely hear the tiny whisper of shock before she buried her face in my chest, weeping stronger than before. I pulled her into my arms then and held her as close as I could, and finally… _I __could __breathe __again_. Irresistible, overpowering, devastating… Just the touch of her skin had made the emptiness fade away. I gasped at the overwhelming peace that invaded. I blinked several times and attempted to force back the wave of emotion accosting me.

"I'm here, love. I have you," I breathed, still crushing her body to mine while thanking God that I had found her. I could feel the blood from her hand seeping into my shirt as she gripped the fabric tightly, and though I wanted to see what that scoundrel had done, I could only hold her tighter as she sobbed.

A small movement alerted my attention across the room suddenly, and I looked to see one of the maids—Angela, I believe—looking at the horror around us with large, frightened eyes.

"Fetch the King." I said sternly, not wanting to waste another moment in having Demetri thrown into the tower where he belongs. Angela nodded, and dashed from the room quickly.

A moment later the King stormed into the room with both the Queen and Angela trailing behind him. There were also three guards behind the women. The King's eyes met mine for a moment before flashing to Bella and then back at me, narrowing in anger. I held her tighter.

"What is the meaning of this?" He demanded after seeing what was left of Demetri. The Queen ran to us, attempting to touch her daughter, but Bella only clutched me more as she shrank away from her mother.

"Answer me, boy!"

Remembering my place, I lowered my eyes and answered. "I found Mr. Volturi, Your Majesty, with the princess, alone, threatening her life with that dagger." I looked to where it lay on the floor next to its owner. One of the guards moved then toward Demetri and touched his shoulder, causing him to stir a bit, letting out a moan, but he did not move.

"You did this?" The King asked, noticing my blood-covered hand that was wrapped firmly around Bella's shaking form. I nodded before turning my attention to the Queen's whispered pleas for Bella to look at her, noticing that Bella's only answer was shaking her head slightly as she still held to me.

The Queen's eyes met mine then and it was now her turn to ask questions. "What is _wrong_ with her? Why is she holding to _you_? Give her to me!"

She tried to yank Bella away from me again and as I began to let go, Bella cried out, "No! Do not let go! Please! …_Please_." My hold tightened again from the anguish in her voice. The Queen's face became very angry as her eyes flitted between Bella and me. This situation certainly did not look for us, and I had to do something. But what?

_Think!_

"I…I—I believe she is in shock, Your Majesty." I lied quickly, trying to figure out how I could keep her in my arms while also keeping our secret. "Her Highness was quite frightened. Perhaps she cannot think straight."

I held my breath on that theory until the Queen nodded slightly. She rose and asked, "Can you carry her?"

I nodded. "Yes, Your Majesty."

"Come then."

"Renée, I am not finished with—," the King began.

"It must wait! Isabella is bleeding and I must tend to her. Your questions can wait. She cannot," and with that the Queen strode past him, only turning to beckon me.

I slid my arm under Bella's legs and carefully lifted us from the floor to follow the Queen. As I passed the King he looked at me sternly, dropping his gaze to his daughter, then to me once again before declaring, "I will speak with you tomorrow." There was a dangerously threatening tone to his voice for some reason, and I nodded seriously.

"As you wish, Your Majesty."

Walking out of the room, I noticed that Mrs. Stanley had arrived to join us, and Angela was following also. I vaguely registered that there was music still flowing out of the ballroom, but I paid it no mind as I cradled the most precious girl in the world in my arms. Her whimpers were less now as she pressed her face to the crook of my neck. We were walking behind the others and realizing that she might try to hold on to me when we reached her room, I attempted to whisper to her, but could not as I noticed that both the Queen and Mrs. Stanley glanced back every so often as they spoke to one another. I prayed that somehow Bella would be calmer when we reached her chamber.

She was not.

I tried at first to release her at the door, but she did not let go. Angela suggested I place her on her bed, so I entered, pretending to look around as though I had never seen this room, before noticing her bed and slowly lowering her down. "No," she whimpered so quietly that I almost missed it.

Knowing it was a great risk, with my back to the three women who were watching us closely, I leaned in ever so slightly and breathed in Bella's ear, "I will return." Hoping that perhaps she would respond to that.

She did. Leaning back slightly, our faces only inches apart, she searched my eyes as if she was looking for a betrayal. Finding none, she bit her lip before slowly releasing her trembling arms from around my neck. The warmth and calm I had while holding her left my body as soon as she let go. And in that same moment of being released, Mrs. Stanley rushed me away and out into the hall before firmly closing the door in my face.

I stood outside of her chamber for a moment, hearing the indistinct sound of talking on the other side, and began to worry. After a second, I realized that this was not the place for me, and I retreated to the servants' quarters, where I belonged. It was here, in my room, was where all the events of the last hour began to strike me. Finding Demetri with her, the blade against her skin, the beating I had given him, the near exposure of what she meant to me… I nearly collapsed under the weight of it all. Anger, sorrow, joy, rage, fear… Too much had happened, and I still did not know if she was truly all right. I had to force the emotions away. Now was not the time to think about what had happened. I had to take care of my Bella. This was all that mattered. When she was recovered, I would figure out all the queries, but not before.

I made quick work of moving the furniture away from where the secret opening to the catacombs was. I promised her I would come back, so I retrieved the candle there and wasted no more time in going back to her. As I neared the door to her room I heard shouting and pressed my ear to the stone door in an attempt to make out what was going on. I was unfortunate in deciphering the argument, except for the distinct shouting of one voice—Bella's. Soon there was the sound of a door thrown shut, and the room fell almost silent. I opened the wall slowly, being cautious as to gaze around for the Queen or any other, but they had gone.

I came into the room fully then, searching for Bella until I found her once again on the floor, weeping quietly. Her hand had been bandaged, but she still wore the tattered pink dress, now stained with blood and tears. My coat was cradled against her chest. Should they not have helped her dress for bed?

"Bella?"

Though my question was softly spoken, she still recoiled at the sound of my voice, lifting her head in alarm before realization calmed her again. Her wide eyes followed my body as I came closer to her, sitting down beside her and opening my arms for her to climb back into. This time she did not take her eyes from my face as I held her.

"You came back," she whispered in disbelief.

"Of course. I said that I would, angel."

Another tear rolled down her cheek as she closed her eyes, lowering her head and voice as she asked, "And…and you will stay…with me?"

"Yes. If that is what you wish."

She nodded gently, lifting her hand to wipe away the tears that were still present. I placed my fingers under her chin and raised her face so I could see her better. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her face was matted in sweat and to the side there was blood. I looked around and saw that there were two bowls of water on the small table nearby—one must have been used to treat her hand, as the water was tinted pink.

I lifted Bella to the nearest chair and tended to cleaning her face with the fresh water, wiping away the pain and gore that Volturi had left behind. She watched me in silence and with unwavering eyes as I passed the cloth over her face and neck. She had taken care of me like this so many times, and now it was my turn. When her skin was clean I decided that her clothes needed to be changed. The only problem was I had no idea of how to proceed, considering I did not know anything of how to undress a woman. Nor did I want to compromise Bella's modesty… Perhaps, I should lead her to the changing screen? Or maybe I should leave and return? Finally, I decided to ask her what I should do.

Her face turned as pink as my own felt before she answered. "There are buttons on the back…" She turned slightly, and I saw that there were several pearl-like buttons in a long line down the center of the back of her dress. A few were open at the top, so I took a deep breath before sweeping aside the few locks of hair that had fallen from her upswept style and continued until the last was undone, which was slightly below Bella's hips. My hands were shaking once again, but I carried on undressing her by untying the chemise and corset that were below the dress until I reached the smooth, porcelain skin of her back. I pushed gently forward on the fabric, making in fall away from Bella and exposing more of the beauty before me. My breath caught as my eyes consumed the sheer perfection of her skin—without blemish or spot, save for the small birthmark just above her left shoulder blade. It reminded me of a sunburst, round with wisps of fire extending from it. I brushed my fingers over the mark, causing Bella to shiver.

"Sorry," I muttered, realizing that touching her was not the best idea. Especially when I was supposed to be taking care of her, not feeding my ill desire for her flesh. Coming back to my senses, I helped her to stand and watched as the fabrics fell to the floor. Her back was still to me and noticed that she still held my coat to her chest. My traitorous eyes continued to feast on the exposed skin of her back as she instructed me to untie her petticoat. My mind was screaming that this was wrong, that I was taking advantage of her, but I could not stop myself from untying that ribbon and revealing the few bits of fabric left between us.

Standing in nothing but her stockings and short pantalettes, she turned to face me. Her cheeks were bright red, as was the bottom lip caught between her teeth. She was so beautiful that I forced my eyes to look down as I bent to remove her stockings. Once that was done I rose, lifting my eyes to the ceiling and swallowing hard as I forced my hands to stay at my sides while attempting to calm my breathing. I was about to ask the whereabouts of her nightdress, when she stepped closer to me, dropping my coat and reaching up to unbutton my shirt.

My hands seized hers reflexively, as I continued to stare upward. "Wh-wh-what are you doing?"

"Your shirt is stained." She said quietly. "It is okay, Edward. Let me."

But I shook my head. "No, Bella. This…is not good." Was she _trying_ to kill me? If so, it was most successful thus far.

"Please, Edward… I need to feel your skin. Just you."

And just like that, I was done for. All the resolve I had left faded with those words as I released her hands to continue removing my shirt. As soon as she had pushed the fabric over my shoulders and off, her arms wound their way around my torso, pressing our skin together. I groaned at the sensation, looking down to see her face angled up, showing the length of her graceful neck as it flowed down to meet her collarbone and continue to the top of her breasts, where her skin met mine. The path of skin was only interrupted by her locket. My eyes traveled back up the path they had taken until I had reached the deep chocolate eyes that were devouring my own now.

"Take me to bed now, Edward." The command was nothing more than a breath.

I lifted her into my arms then, doing just that before turning out the lights and climbing in after her. She wrapped her arms around my neck, clutching me so tightly, and I reciprocated, holding her body against mine without shame as we lay side by side. My mind knew that this was so wrong, so reprehensible, but I did not care if it meant that she felt safe again. I would do anything for her if it meant that. Anything.

We laid together for a long while, just holding each other, before Bella pulled away a bit to look at me. I watched her face in the dim light from the moon as her eyes scrutinized my face. Her hand moved from around my neck to my jaw, her fingers gliding along before moving to touch my lips. They were so soft, I wanted to kiss them, but resisted. Her fingers left my face, travelling down finger the locket around her neck while she still stared into my eyes. "Stay," she whispered before touching her lips to mine.

I did not know why, or how I would even consider letting this happen, but I still could not tell her 'no' as she kissed me. I could only kiss her back, praying that whatever demon had taken hold of me before would not hurt her this time. It was only a short moment before she broke the kiss, searching my face again before crushing my lips with hers. I waited for any signs that I might be losing control, but none came. For hours, it seemed, we held one another and kissed, pausing only to come up for air before Bella would attack my lips again. It was simple, innocent need that was poured into each and every kiss, and I cherished them…

Eventually our kisses slowed as we let sleep claim us, and for the first night in months I felt at ease.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I awoke lazily, feeling the smile grow on my face as I breathed in the scent of Bella next to me. Was I truly here, in the one place that made all the world seem right? Could it be possible?

My chest was pressed against her back, with my right arm wrapped around her frame. I feared that if I opened my eyes, that she would disappear, so I kept them shut for a while, relishing in the peace that came when I was with her. The feel of her skin next to mine was so wonderful. How was there any way to let go of this perfection? Holding her tighter, I did not care that I had no answer for my question. Hmm… I noticed suddenly that where my hand was holding onto Bella was…different? Softer? I opened my eyes and lifted my head slightly to discover that my hand was firmly palming Bella's left breast.

_Oh __God_…

I quickly let go, mortified by my actions and disentangled myself from her as carefully as I could so she did not wake to discover what I had been doing in my sleep. _What __is __the __matter __with __me?_ I rubbed my hand over my face, feeling the heat under my cheeks before I lifted the blanket to cover her better, climbing out of the large bed to retrieve my shirt.

Just a few steps away from her, and already it felt like too much. I turned back to the bed and sat on the edge, watching as she slept soundly. My heart constricted at the sudden query of what would be happening now if I had not found her in time? I was vastly happy not knowing. Bella was safe now, and I knew that as long as I was here, she would be. We still needed each other, so much. There was no hope for going back to ignoring each other now. Not for me, at least. But, would she truly forgive me for the way I have treated her all this time? I only hoped that if I begged enough, she would. _It __is __still __only __a __temporary __solution __to __the __situation __at __hand._ Yes, but I had to make the little time I had now count.

I leaned in, wanting to kiss her just once more, but before I could, there were sounds and voices coming from the other side of Bella's door. Running quickly, I just managed to escape back to the dark catacombs before Mrs. Stanley barged into the room. _That __would __not __have __been __good. __Not __at __all_.

Realizing that I still had things to be done, I rushed toward my room, changing into clean clothes as fast as I could, before making my way to the kitchen. It was some time in the late morning, and I knew that when Mrs. Newton found me I would be scolded thoroughly. Somehow, though, I could not bring myself to care about her anger; there was nothing that could sour my mood at this moment.

"Edward!" Speak of the devil… "There you are. Where have you been?"

"I, um... Well—"

"Oh, never mind that. The King has requested your presence. Come at once!"

The King… Of course Mrs. Newton found the one thing that could bring me down to earth again…

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**A/N: Well! I have to tell you guys that I am very excited to be bringing you my first two-part chapter! Sorry to end it here, but it was the best spot. The rest will be showing up soon since a lot is happening with the King's involvement. :) And what is really going through Bella's mind? We'll have to wait until she tells him in the next chapter! OMGoodness. Hang on to your hats, cause this train is picking up speed! Woohoo! Review Please? Thanks!**

**See you soon!**


	12. Part II, Amend

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Hi everyone! Just wanted to say thanks once again to all of you who are reading, reviewing, or putting this story on your favorites/alerts. Your support is AMAZING!**

**I am sooo sorry that this chapter took forever to get out! RL was insane the past couple of weeks with sickness, class finals and general distractions. :( Please forgive me! And don't forget to read the A/N at the end! Thanks!**

**Okay, enough of me…here's Edward!**

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Chapter 12 – Part II, Amend

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EPOV

Waiting…

It was a troublesome pursuit when one is preparing to speak to not only their King, but also the father of the girl that holds everything you are in the palm of her hand. Apparently, the King was with her at this moment. I was sat outside of King Charles' study, awaiting his return from no doubt speaking to his daughter about what had happened. And though I knew the main concern would be over Volturi, I still had no idea what she would say to him about me. Worry began to set in for the first time this morning as I wondered what she would think of me now, safe in the morning light without the shock and fear running through her. Did she see how horribly I had taken advantage of her? That I was so desperate to please her, I did not care about the repercussions of our actions? And clearly that was true, as I had nearly been discovered in her bedchamber only minutes after awaking.

I hung my head in my hands, feeling the burn of shame.

How could I ever look at her again without thinking about that night? About how selfish I had been in allowing myself to see her exposed, to feel her skin against my own, to kiss her as though she were mine…and the worst part? I wanted it. I wanted all of her for myself. Not just her affections and vivacity and stubbornness and all the wonderful parts of her personality that made her so wonderful. No, I desired her body as well now. And I could not blame it on the monster that had attacked her any longer.

How many wrong ways would I want her in?

"Well, well. Look at what we have here." A low, rasping voice jarred me from my grim thoughts and I looked up to find Volturi's father, Lord Aro, staring at me with an emotion I could not place. "A simpleton that does not know his place, it seems." His demeanor was cold as he stood in front of me wearing a dark suit and black cape. Clearly, his outward appearance matched the inner.

I rose, very careful to keep the anger coursing through me from showing on my face. I wanted to ask how he had the nerve to show his face here. I wanted to ask how it felt to have a son who was a disgusting pig. Though, by the mannerisms displayed, he seemed to be unaffected by it. If only I were able to put him in his place… But no, there was nothing I could do but play my role. "Is there a problem, my Lord?" My words were sharper than I intended, but I could not find it in me to care.

"It appears so," he said, reaching out grip my arm, quizzically calm considering my obvious hostility. The action did not match his demeanor. "It is a strange thing, feeling as if we know who we are—who others appear to be—and finding that there is no one who is truly worthy of trust. Is it not?"

"I would not know."

He chuckled, shaking his head. "Indeed. You know nothing of life, boy. Nor the character of those around you."

"It seems, my Lord, that your son has opened my eyes."

Anger flashed in his eyes. "You think that your masters are any better? That they have no deceptions to speak of? Mark my words young one: the gods will take their vengeance for the actions of injustice. Then you will see with open eyes."

"My eyes are open, my Lord. And they distinguish the fear in your own. I may not know much of the world, but I do know that a true man does not hurt others for their own reward. He protects those around him and gives before taking. He does not take advantage over others. Perhaps it is your son who will meet the vengeance you speak of, for I have seen the injustice of his actions. I am sure they will not be overlooked."

"Indeed, they will not." It was the King that had spoken, alerting us to his sudden presence. I stepped back, wondering how much they had heard. Aro released my arm in haste, turning to bow. I noticed that the Princess was next to the King, and on her other side was the blond man who had danced with her last night. I bowed, not being able to meet their eyes—especially hers. Yet, I could barely contain the sudden need to touch her. It was almost…painful.

"It is about time you presented yourself, boy," the King was obviously not happy that I was overdue for my appointment with him. I had considered some excuses for my tardiness while waiting, but it was pointless as all I could think of was the glaring source of my guilt—the truth.

_Well, your Majesty, I overslept due to the fact that I spent most of the night with my arms around your half-naked daughter as we lay in her bed kissing..._

Yes, I am sure that would go over extremely well. Thankfully though, it seemed that he was not going to press the issue as he held up a hand to silence me from speaking. "No need for excuses now. There are more important matters to deal with.

"Jasper, please escort Isabella and Aro to the Throne Room. I will join you shortly." He turned to me. "Come."

_Gulp_.

I had never been in the King's study and was astonished to see the vast shelves of books that lined the walls. There was a large wooden desk that sat in the center of the room with two plush chairs facing its front. Two heavily draped windows framed the space, located on the far wall. The whole room felt dark and cold from where I stood just inside the door. The King walked forward and gestured for me to sit at one of the chairs in front of his desk. I sense his eyes on me the entire time, studying, just as Aro had done. This was no more comforting.

There was a long moment of charged silence before the King finally spoke. "So, tell me—Edward, is it?—Where are you from exactly?"

An unexpected question…and what did that matter?

"I—I do not know, Your Majesty." Clearing my throat, I continued, "I have no parents. I was brought here from the workhouse on the outskirts of the lower town." My head was bowed in respect as I answered his odd question, but I allowed myself to peer up at his face once to find that he was still watching me carefully.

"How long have you been here?"

"Eight years, your Majesty."

"Hmm… And your present age is?"

"Sixteen, your Majesty."

"Sixteen…" He repeated to himself. As if the number meant something more. "And you have no memory of anything prior to the workhouse?"

"No, your Majesty."

"Nothing of your family? You are certain?"

"Yes, your Majesty, I am sure. I did not know them." Why was this so important? How did it help the Princess? The King must have sensed my uneasiness as he redirected his questions as to what had happened the night previous. I told him all the details I could about what I had seen. Simply remembering what had happened made my blood boil. I wanted to kill him for touching her.

Once I had finished my account, the King rose from where he had been perched on the edge of his desk. "You care for my Isabella," he said. It was not a question.

"Sire?"

"I am not blind, boy. The way you cared for her last night. The way you speak of her now… Is my assessment wrong?" I grew pale, my throat desiccated at his words. I knew he had been suspicious, and it was all the more staggering that here and now he did not seem upset, as he was while watching her cling to me…

But this still would not be good if I were to say anything compromising. "Your Majesty, I…I-I feel as though your family is also my family, for it is the only one I have known," I said quickly. "What Mr. Volturi has done was cruel and heartless, and I would not stand for that behavior to be displayed toward anyone. This is why I could not stand by. I could not let my family be hurt by another." It was the truth, it was a lie. More the latter, be he need not know the extent of how or why. I _would __not_ expose what we had.

"Hmm." He paused, reflecting upon my words. "Well, Edward, it seems that I am in your debt. You must know that my daughter is the one jewel I treasure the most. Above anything. It is evident that I have been too careless concerning her safety. In fact," He paused, then, as if considering. "I have a request for you…"

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

King Charles made his way to the Throne Room, with me following behind. The Queen and Princess were seated on either side of the King's throne on the dais at the far side of the room, with the Reverend standing next to the Queen. Lord Aro was still here, as well as the blond—Jasper.

I shook my head, wondering what had just happened in the past few minutes. How could I agree to that? I still could not believe that I was the best choice. It was nonsensical.

I turned my gaze back to the room, attempting to filter out my thoughts for the moment. Closer to where I stood in the center of the room was Angela and a few other maids. Guards lined the walls with General Whitlock at the forefront. Mrs. Stanley stood behind the Princess' chair.

_Well, __this __is __quite __the __audience_. I can only imagine the adverse affect all of this show must be having on _her_… Perhaps I should not have agreed to the King's request. Clearly it would only drive me mad…and what if she did not want me after realizing how I had treated her? _If __she __has __not __already__…_

With that thought, I finally allowed myself to really look at her now. Her face was blank, stoic even, considering what had happened only hours ago. Her dress was simple today, a soft blue color with white lace covering the bodice; it was long sleeved and had a high collar, which was unusual for this time of year and I was surprisingly thankful that she was covered as such. Though it seemed not to matter as her eyes lifted to meet mine…

All other thoughts had been quashed with the intensity of emotion in her eyes, capturing my every attention. The way she watched me sent a shiver down my spine; the warm expression in her eyes, the pink glow in her cheeks, the way her lips were slightly parted—for only a moment, until her teeth pressed delicately into the plumb fullness of her bottom lip… I barely registered that the King was speaking until she looked away, releasing me from her gaze.

I scanned the room, now realizing how I had been staring at her unabashedly, and was relieved to see that no one had noticed our silent exchange…or whatever that had been.

"…already know this. Thus, I will simply lay out the ruling I have made, based on the accounts I have received. Let us begin with the most pressing matter. Aro, step forward."

Lord Aro slowly made his way to stand in front of the King, unwillingness seeping from every movement. He knew what was coming, just as we all did. "Your Majesty," he addressed the King, bowing lowly.

"Aro Volturi, your family has served the Kingdom of Forcelle for countless years. Though I have been informed of your account for Demetri's actions, I have no choice but to banish him from the Palace grounds for life."

_Banishment_? A stunned silence hovered over the room as we listened in disbelief. Surely, the owed punishment was death, as was expected. For some reason King Charles was being _merciful_ to that wretched family. Why? _He __should __die __for __what __he __has __done_. This made no sense.

"Furthermore, your family is stripped of all entitlements, rank and position in my court. You may remain in your present home despite the revoking of your Lordship. Once Demetri is recovered, he will be allowed to return home, but forbidden to leave there, under pain of death, and will be under guarded supervision at all times. This is my final decision."

Aro bowed once again, lifting his eyes to meet the King's. "As you wish, Majesty." He was escorted from the room then, all eyes watching his exit with bewilderment. It was a complete outrage. But I had little time to think of what this meant as the King moved on to the request of silence of all the people in this room for our knowledge on this whole affair. Next, the King called me to step forward. I took a deep breath, my eyes moved to _her_ as I did so, and I noticed the sudden anxiety in her face as her father spoke yet again. What was she afraid of?

I stood in front of the throne, waiting. The King turned to _her_ then, expectant. "Isabella?" His voice was incredibly tender as he looked to his only daughter.

She rose, reaching out for the small, jeweled box her maid held. With that in her hand she walked to where I stood, her eyes still hidden from my own until that moment. The tension from having her so close was nearly consuming. Air moved too thickly through my lungs. It was only a split second that our eyes met before I bowed to her, waiting.

Her hands were trembling as she began, though it did not carry in her strong, warm voice. "First of all, I must beg your forgiveness in regards to my impropriety. My dejection was great due to the circumstance and I did not realize the gravity of my actions. It was…wrong of me to behave so vehemently towards you." There was a weight to these words that cut through me… Why did it seem that she was apologizing for more than what the others were aware of? "And so I ask you to accept my apology."

"There is _nothing_ to forgive, Your Highness," I said. "I am forever at your service." The extent of which, she would know fully in only a few moments.

"Thank you. I also must say that I cannot express the depth of my gratitude, sir, for your gallantry and heroism. You surely have saved my life, and for this, I am forever grateful." She extended the gift in her hands to me, opening the lid to reveal an emerald ring. "I pray that you would accept this favor, as a token of my gratitude." It was simple and elegant; the band was thin yellow gold that opened into a small, three prong design on either side of the large emerald stone setting. By the look of it, I would say it was an heirloom. I took her gift graciously, though I deserved anything but, my fingers brushing over hers gently.

"Thank you, Your Highness. I will treasure it."

I took her hand, and placed a gentle kiss of admiration upon the back of it, as was custom. She pulled away from my touch as soon as she could, though attempted to placate the action with a small smile gracing her lips before she returned to her seat.

The King rose. "Indeed, we have a truly courageous young man before us, and now that we have settled this squalid affair, it is time to prepare for the future. So, I have one more order of business. The appointment of the Princess' new personal guard."

Her features turned hard as she shifted suddenly in her seat. She was…angry. "Father," she hissed, before realizing her surroundings and calming her tone to a more discreet level, "I thought we had agreed that I do not—"

"No. We did not agree." He said to her, then turned to address the room. "However, I am your father, and thus, I have made my decision." He spoke while walking to where I stood. "Young Edward here has agreed, at my insistence, to take charge of you." I watched her face carefully, and saw that it was just as I feared. She did not want me. Her face turned to disbelief while the King turned to General Whitlock to proceed. "Thomas?"

He came to stand in front of me while the King stood aside. I forced my eyes not to look at her any longer as the General spoke to me quietly. "Edward. It is a pleasure to hear you have agreed. If you will kneel." He smiled as I did so, and nodded toward me to begin my oath.

"Here do I swear by mouth and hand,

Fealty and service to the Crown and the Kingdom of Forcelle.

To speak and to be silent,

To do and to let be,

To come and to go,

To strike and spare,

In such matters that concern this realm;

In need or in plenty,

In peace or in war,

In living or in dying;

Until my King release me, or death take me."

Taking his sword out of its sheath, he placed it upon my shoulder. "With this vow, I hereby appoint you as Royal Defender to the Princess, Isabella of Forcelle, and a member of the King's Guard. Arise Edward."

I stood, feeling various emotions as I waited for what came next. Truly, this was a watered-down Knight's ceremony, though it was made clear to me that I was most certainly not achieving that title or rank by any means. It was a matter of formality that I give my allegiance for such an important task.

"Your Majesties, I present to you your newest Guard." The King stepped forward again, smiling while extending his hand so that I could kiss the ring upon it.

"And we are happy to receive him."

Once the King had dismissed everyone, I was taken aside by General Whitlock, or Sir Thomas, as I had now been instructed to call him by his first name. He gave me instructions of what the King expected of me, and explained that I was to train with the other men in the Guard when the Princess did not require my presence. Tomorrow morning I would begin. He also began to tell me what the training would involve before the King was calling for me from where he stood across the room with the Queen and Princess beside him.

"Well, it seems that you are being beckoned. Until tomorrow then. I'll leave you with word to the wise: that girl is a handful. Mind your step." He smiled.

_If __only __you __knew_. "Thank you, Sir Thomas," I said, before making my way to the King.

"Well, now that all the ceremony is out of the way, we all should be properly introduced." She still seemed to be angry as her father introduced me formally to first the Queen and then herself, but she attempted to hide it with indifference as she extended her hand to me. "A pleasure, sir."

"Your Highness," I said bowing lowly, once again kissing the top of her hand. Just as the first time, she stole her hand away as swiftly as she could.

Silence ensued for a short time before she spoke once again. "Well, Edward, I hope you will excuse me. I was planning to go for a walk in the garden this morning, so I will be—"

"Oh, what a wonderful idea!" Queen Renée exclaimed, cutting off her daughter's speech. "Surely Edward should accompany you. After all, you two should become acquainted with one another. What do you think, Edward?"

I swallowed, looking between the two of them before forcing the words out. "Of course, Your Majesty." I turned, "May I, Your Highness?" She agreed, but did not take my arm as we strode out of the Throne Room.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

She led us far into the gardens; I supposed that she wanted to make sure that we were far from any eavesdroppers. With each step, I awaited her judgment. Apparently, we had gone far enough when she rounded the stone-walled fountain near the center of the garden, turning on her heel to face me as we stood behind it, hidden.

I expected to see anger, betrayal, or even hurt when she finally faced me alone. But there were none of those in her wide, expressive eyes. I was suddenly desperate to know what she was thinking.

Confusing me further, she stepped closer, reaching out to stroke my cheek. My eyelids involuntarily fluttered closed at her touch, and in the next second Bella had seized my shirt before drawing our lips together. Rationality was thrown into the wind that moment, fading away as the need to pull her closer grew. I wound my arms around her waist, supporting her weight as she leaned into me.

Then, just as quickly as it began, the kiss was over as she broke away, shaking her head. "I am sorry…," she said, her hands now on my chest, pushing me away. I released her, attempting to understand what had just happened. My head was spinning.

She stepped a few feet away from me. "I am sorry," she repeated, "It is probably better if we do not stand too near each other." I still could not comprehend what was happening, so I just nodded my agreement. Perhaps I could think better if she was not so close.

The problem was that now there was a good deal of silence between us as well. I tried several times to end it, but each time I opened my mouth, nothing proceeded the action. It was still so strange; I was never at a loss with words when speaking to Bella. I used to tell her everything. So much had changed…

Ultimately, she was the one who broke the silence.

"How is your hand?"

It was trivial, but a start. "A bit sore, but fine." I paused, thinking for more to add… "Sir Thomas said I should be careful not to strain it tomorrow when training begins. Apparently, it can be rather vigorous."

"You should not have agreed to that."

"Well, I am sure he is right, I—"

"Not that," she exclaimed, sighing. "I meant that you should not have agreed to taking charge of my safety." She turned away from me.

So there it was. The confirmation that I had dreaded hearing since watching her anger in the Throne Room. It was so much more final to hear it spoken. Except now, I did not know how I was to stay away when my resolve had been destroyed so thoroughly. I wanted to tell her that I did decline at first, if that would please her. Of course, it mattered little since the King insisted I was the best choice for her protector. What a fool I am. _Of __course, __she __does __not __want __me_. I have caused her nothing but pain. Always taking advantage of her. That was all I ever did. Last night was no exception.

"Perhaps it is not too late," for one second I thought she had been answering my thoughts, until she continued, "I could speak with Father and convince him to let you out of this. You should not have to spend your time with me out of guilt. I will not force you." There was a sadness in her voice now, and also something else in her words that caught me off guard.

"Guilt?" Was this the reason she believed that I had agreed? "You have not forced anything on me."

She turned back, anger in her features. "Do not lie to me, Edward! I am not proud of the fact that I took advantage of you before." Huh? "I could not help it, and now you feel that you have to be near me, but I—"

"Wait. Wait just a moment… You… You honestly believe that _you_ took advantage of _me_?" I asked, attempting to make sense of her ramblings. Was she serious? Had she lost her mind?

"Of course I did. Holding you so forcefully. begging you to stay… and the rest of it." Her cheeks had colored at the last statement.

My eyes widened in disbelief. Yes. She had definitely lost it. "Surely you cannot be that naïve, Bella. It was _I_ who took advantage of _you_! You were so upset and frightened, and clearly did not realize how selfish I was being. I wanted nothing more than to comfort you… But I still wanted to be near you for my own reasons. I should not have allowed myself to compromise your modesty so crassly." My gaze dropped now, I was not able to look into those eyes any longer as I acknowledged my failure to her.

"You were a gentleman the complete time, Edward."

"A true gentleman would have been more rational, more sympathetic, considering your state, but I allowed myself to do otherwise because I needed you…so much. Because the moment I had you in my arms again, my will to stay away dissolved. I realized that it was pointless from the beginning. And I am…tired of trying to stay away from you. For that, I am truly sorry, Bella. I was weak. I _am_ weak." My voice was barely more than a trembling whisper by the end of my confession. "…I need you." Shame washed over me as I admitted this; Bella was far too good for someone like me, but I could not stand the thought of not having her.

I had not realized that she had moved near to me until I felt her fingers once again on my cheek. Her breath was uneven. "Do you truly mean that?" I looked up to see that she was searching my face, biting her lip in apprehension.

Could I tell her the truth? Could I be that selfish as to keep her near me?

Yes. Yes, I could. "I do."

The resulting smile to my affirmation was astounding. She threw her arms around me, burying her face in my chest. She was shaking now, and I wrapped my arms around her, comforting her as she cried.

…but she wasn't crying. She was…laughing?

I placed my hands on her shoulders pulling away to see that she was, indeed, laughing. "Bella…are—are you ill?" I had just admitted to my desire for her and she laughs. Clearly this was not good.

Sobering after a bit, she was able to answer my question, "Did you really believe that you had _taken __advantage_ of me?" She said the words mockingly.

I snorted at her attempt to make fun of me. "Yes." I said seriously. "I suppose I had forgotten just how treacherous you are."

"Me?" she asked with false astonishment. "Why Edward, how dare you question my innocent nature." We both had a good laugh at that statement.

But it seemed that things were not as simple as they once were, and the light mood did not last very long. Much had happened since the last time we had laughed together, and I think we both realized that it had to be addressed. I took a deep breath, knowing it was now my turn to push past the silence. "Can you really forgive me? For my idiocy? For causing you so much pain? For hurting you so much?"

"…I can," she paused, taking her own deep breath. "I know that you blame yourself for what happened. And I know that you were trying to protect me from…whatever it is that caused it. But it was not…, well, that can wait for another time." Another deep breath. "I just thought that you would have come back to me sooner. I have missed you, Edward. You did not realize that I… I need you, too. When you spoke those terrible lies, it felt as though my heart had been torn away from me. You are the only one that knows me. The only one I can truly trust with my life…

"I want desperately to forget these past months, but I need to know that you will not leave me again. Not ever. I cannot bear…even the thought of it. I need you too much."

I nodded, not knowing what to say. I wanted to fix this, fix _us_, but I did not know how to do so. Though the true problem now was not a matter of me leaving her someday, but the other way around. She rested her head against my chest, her arms wrapping around me once again, hesitating before I heard her voice again. "When you rescued me last night—feeling your arms around me for the first time in months—it felt as though I had awoken from a torturous nightmare. The liberation from it overwhelmed me. But when I let go of you, the darkness came back, only worse than before." I held her tighter. "Then Mrs. Stanley began fussing over my hair, and Mother began unbuttoning my dress… It felt so utterly _wrong_ that I screamed at them to leave me. That was the true reason I was still dressed when you came back… I could not stand the feeling of their hands. No one else could touch me. It had to be you. And then, you came back and I wanted so much to throw my arms around you. I did not mean for it to go so far, but I could not help it. I am sorry if I—"

"Bella, stop. Please, stop apologizing. I should be the one on my knees now, begging your forgiveness. If I had not been so callous, perhaps you would not have felt so alone." I wanted to ask what had happened—why Demetri had attacked her—but I could tell that she was not ready for it. I had to give her space to tell me when she was ready. So instead, I told her nearly everything then, confessing to the truth of my actions. How I felt about the future, the fear I had that she would be the one to leave me, how agonizing it felt to be away from her… Everything except for the strange dreams and my growing feelings toward her; I simply did not fathom how I could put them into words without sounding completely insane, or idiotic.

I waited for her to say something in response, but before she could we heard someone calling for us. It was one of the Queen's personal servants.

"I suppose the rest of this conversation will have to wait," she said.

"I suppose." I turned away to step onto the path again, but Bella stopped me, taking my hand in hers while looking fiercely into my eyes.

"I will not leave you, Edward. You must trust this. I am yours." She reached up to kiss my cheek then, and we both moved from where we had hidden behind the fountain wall. The sun had extended across the sky, and I realized that it had been several hours since we had left the Palace.

Bella took my arm as we walked forward, allowing the girl to find us.

"Oh! Your Highness, Mr. Edward," she said, bobbing a curtsey to us. That was a change. "We have been looking for you. I have been told to say that the King and Queen wish to invite you to dine with them this evening. Also, your possessions have been moved to a room in the North Wing, near the other royal servants. And her Majesty conveys that Your Highness should accompany her new guard to the tailor in the course of the day, for more appropriate attire. He is expecting you."

"Thank you, Maria. Please tell the Queen I have been informed," Bella said. Maria curtseyed once again before promptly leaving. Once she was gone, Bella turned to me. "Well, it seems that my mother has already begun to plan out your time as well as mine."

I grimaced, not fully comprehending the drastic changes that were about to be undergone.

"Come. We must get rid of those _horrid __clothes_. After all, you are going to be seen with the lofty _Princess_ now." She laughed as we made our way back to the Palace.

"Of course, Princess."

She turned sharply, smiling while narrowing her eyes. "Do not call me Princess."

I only smiled in return. Things were going to get quite interesting…

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**A/N: I hope you all had a safe and happy Halloween! Once again I have to say how sorry I am for the wait! This chapter was messing with my outline quite a bit, so I had to restructure it so that everything will still make sense when the time comes for more revealing. :) Not to mention the fact that my husband got very sick, and then I got sick, and of course it happened at the time when we had finals due for a class. Ugh. Not fun… Okay, rant over. lol.**

**As for the story, please know that Edward and Bella are NOT finished with ironing out everything, so we'll get into that next time. This just seemed like a good stopping place. Hehe. It's going to be fun watching Edward adapt to a slightly more pampered life. And for those of you who asked: Bella is 14, Edward is 16, and I can't really say in what chapter exactly we will see Alice again. I miss her too! And, she IS important, so please be patient. :)**

**Reviews, as always, are hugely appreciated! Please and Thank You!**

**Oh! Pictures of Edward's ring and the garden fountain are on my LJ for those of you who are visual like me! (andrewsamy .livejournal. com)**


	13. Shift

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Hey! I'm back! Yay! I am unbelievably thankful for all of you who are continuing to read and your amazing support for this story! You're all a blessing! So sorry for the delay! Please read A/N at the bottom! :) **

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Chapter 13 – Shift

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BPOV

I do not know when dinning with Mother and Father had been stranger than this moment.

How many times had I wished for Edward to be beside me?

And now that he was, I had no idea what to do.

The day had been quite dreamlike from the moment I had awoken, realizing what had happened…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"Isabella? My goodness! Where is your night gown?"

My eyes slowly opened, as I was stirred into consciousness by Mother's voice. Why was she here?

_Oh!_

The events of last night resurfaced in my mind, and I sat upright in fear, bringing my sheets up to cover my bare chest while looking to see—

_No__one__beside__me_.

My heart sunk in that realization. No, indeed he hadn't been here for a while, it seemed, due to the faded warmth of the fabric.

Mrs. Stanley brought over my robe while both her and my mother watched me carefully. All the while I struggled to reason with myself as to why Edward had left me. _Of course he could not be here while the others were, you idiot. He must have known that my maids would awaken me. And surely he must have tasks to attend to. Yes. I would see him soon._ I nodded to myself. _Soon_.

This was how I reasoned to keep myself calm in the presence of my mother.

"Sweetheart? Are you well?" Mother brushed her fingers over my cheeks and forehead. I had not realized that I had betrayed myself. "There, there my dear," she continued, no doubt mistaking the true purpose of my distress, "Do not be alarmed. Come, we must get you dressed." I barely heard her.

_Where is he?_

.

.

.

My thoughts of Edward were so strong that I did not realize that I was already being removed from a bath, a robe wrapped around me, and soon enough I was led back to my room to dress. Father and Mother were both awaiting my return, arguing in harsh whispers as I came in. Father looked up though, and smiled softly at me before I was led across the room and around the dressing screen.

"How are you feeling, Isabella?" He asked from where he stood near the hearth.

"I am…fine, Father." I hoped there was some kind of emotion in my voice. It appeared so, for he was content enough with that answer to not press for more.

Finally, they had finished dressing me in a soft blue dress that covered the light bruising that my arms had somehow sustained, and once I was decent I walked closer to where my parents were seated by the fire. My mind was still with Edward as I greeted them, my voice weakly resonating as I attempted to muse over how I could excuse myself to find him. Then Father asked the one question that I had no desire to answer. "What happened?"

For one wild moment, I thought he was asking about Edward. Then I remembered that there was another event that I should be reflecting on, yet, I did not want to think about it.

Demetri.

Even thinking his name had my anger flaring. Why did they have to know the horrid details? I just wanted to move beyond it.

No, I also wanted Edward.

Since I could have neither at the moment, I decided that I needed to say something if I wanted to find Edward. And I did. The sooner they knew, the sooner I could go. So I told my father what I could remember. At least, what I could make sense of once he had followed me to the sitting room.

_Demetri had gripped my arm forcefully, forcing me farther into the room with a look of malice in his eyes. "What are you doing?" I demanded, squirming from the painful grip on my arm. Did he not realize what he was doing?_

"_Nothing to worry about, my sweet. Just taking what should be mine." He replied, pressing me into the far wall, away from the door._

_His gaze filled with excitement and lust, but it did not frighten me. Not yet. "If you have any intellect at all, Demetri, you will unhand me at once, before I lose my temper and have you thrown in the tower!" But something happened then. He whispered under his breath, griping my throat with force and suddenly, it felt like my whole neck was ablaze. I cried out… but no sound came forth… _

_I could not speak. _

_I opened my mouth to demand an explanation—and nothing. Not a sound escaped me. I could feel my eyes widen in astonishment._

_What had he done to me?_

"_That should take care of your charming voice," he sneered at me, before smiling as if we had been playing some sort of game. No, this was no game. My whole body had frozen in alarm; the blood had drained from my face as fear began to take complete hold. He laughed as he watched me. "Now for the fun part." _

_He lifted his hand to the hearth, all the while speaking whispered words I did not understand and a small fire began to glow from it. Smiling still at my shock, he reached into his coat and withdrew a small, but sharp blade. My eyes widened. 'Stop!' I tried to shout, but my voice was still missing as I began to struggle under his hand. He touched the cold blade to my face. "Shh, dear. It will all be over soon. Be a good girl and I will promise not to make it too painful." I turned away as he glided the dull side of it along my skin until he had reached the top fabric of my dress. "You really brought this upon yourself, you know. Consorting with that silly little fool. Attempting to deceive the Others. Tsk tsk tsk. Fortunately, for us, the Light is not hidden simply." I could not make sense of his words. I could only hear the tearing of fabric. The blade must have been dangerously sharp, as it severed the layers of my dress then with one easy slice. Cold air brushed against the valley between my breasts where I was now barely covered._

No!_ My mind shouted. I could not let him get away with this without putting up more of a fight. I needed to struggle, to make some sort of noise. It was my only chance. But the fear still held me within its icy grip. And I could feel that he saw it: how I was quivering with dread. It only fueled his menacing desires. He took my left hand, forcing my fingers open from the fist they were in. Then, there was a sharp burning sensation as he cut open my palm. _

Get away now!

_My gaze lifted to the vase of roses that sat on the mantle to my right. There was no need to even think as I reached for it, and made sure to connect it with his head. The glass shattered and Demetri stumbled back, releasing me, but my senses must have dulled for I barely took a step before he was upon me again, bringing his hand back before slapping me across the face. He took hold of my throat then, slamming my head into the wall and placed the dagger upon my chest. Dizziness clouded my sight._

_ "I was going to make this easy on you, _princess_. But now, I will make sure that you suffer before I put you back where you belong." My ears were ringing as he growled at me._

_I closed my eyes, waiting for him to make good on that promise, but then he was gone. I staggered weakly, before dropping to the floor. My mind was a thick fog suddenly as I fought to stay alert. Something was happening. A… a voice was crying out, shouting in my head…_

Why?

…Cannot survive here.

Please!

Why did you do this?

…N-No…_no_.

Save us.

Help—!

…Too late, _she __whispered, _too late…

_I flinched as something touched me. "Edward?"_

_From there on I could only cling to him, needing his touch like I never had before. I did not even think of Demetri, nor register that my voice had returned… Safe now. I am safe with him, my Edward. Nothing else mattered. He came for me. He will always come for me. Always. _

I left out the last part, about the screaming in my head, as I finished my recollection. Another mystery… No doubt the cause of whatever black sorcery that had afflicted me. Father was infuriated that the malicious assault was not the only crime Demetri had committed—for he was not made aware that Demetri was even studying the ways of enchantment… I could hardly fathom it, for the Reverend, or Aro, surely would have mentioned it prior.

And, of course, I purposely did not mention Edward. Though Father did inquire of me about him, I only repeated what excuse I could remember was made: I was in shock, and simply clung to my rescuer. I could feel my cheeks burning as the lie escaped my mouth, but Mother, thankfully, took it for embarrassment, as she announced that I had been though enough questioning.

I had never been more thankful to her compassionate side.

She approached me then with an ornate, large wooden box in hand, asking that I choose a gift to award to my rescuer as she presented its contents of beautiful antique trinkets and baubles. "They belonged to your grandfather, William," she explained, and what a decision! There were many choices that I knew Edward would enjoy: a spyglass, pocket watch, or dagger perhaps… Then, I noticed a ring with thin yellow gold cradling a large emerald stone; it was the same color as his eyes, and so it was meant to be his. Mother nodded in agreement at my choice, eyes glittering as she explained that this ring was given as a gift to Grandfather from his wife, the Queen, as a token of love and loyalty before they were married.

I smiled. _Perfect_.

Father seemed to be cross about it for some reason.

I had hoped that Father was satisfied enough to leave me be—my desire to find Edward all the more emergent—but he asked to speak with me privately then. Everyone had left my chamber, and after much hesitation, he finally admitted that both he and Mother wished for me to have a personal guard.

"No." I replied. "There is no need to have some meddlesome person following me from place to place." How would I be with Edward then?

"Isabella, I know that you have been through a great deal, but you must realize that what happened was only the beginning. As royalty, we are targets for attacks. I should have addressed this possibility much sooner." There was regret in his eyes.

"Father, you should not bear the blame for what happened. Though I admit it could have been worse, I am unharmed."

"Unharmed?"

He was referring to the score gracing my palm. I hadn't even looked at it since Mrs. Stanley redressed it this morning, thought it did not sting as before… Not to mention the bruises on my arms. "Regardless, I am fine, and have learned my lesson."

"This time."

"There _will __not_ be a next time, and I _refuse_ to be treated as an infant!"

"Now, hear this, young lady: you are _my_ daughter, and I _will_ have my way—"

"Or what? You will lock me away, like some criminal in the tower?"

"_Do __not_ test my patience, Isabella, for it has a short fuse this day."

We stared each other down, neither relenting to the other. I supposed that he finally realized where I had inherited my stubbornness and, because I did not yield, decided to let rest the discussion for the time being.

At long last, we left my chamber to make way towards the Throne Room, where Demetri's father, Aro, would speak on his son's behalf, since Demetri was unconscious still from the wounds that he had sustained at Edward's hand.

_Finally_, I thought, knowing Edward would be present there. I took Father's arm and we made our way downstairs where Jasper intercepted us at the bottom of the grand staircase.

"Good morning, Sire," he bowed, then turned to me, "Your Highness. I am glad to see that you are well this morning." I found myself truly appreciating the care in his words and voice, though I was still preoccupied with finding Edward.

Still, I managed to smile a little and thank him for his kind words.

We made our way down the hall, and I could feel the tension leaving me as I came closer to where I knew _he_ was. Upon approaching Father's private study, I was surprised to find that Edward was much closer than I anticipated, barely stifling a gasp of relief as my eyes rested upon his beautiful face. But something was wrong. He appeared angry, and I noticed that Lord Aro had gripped him by the arm, speaking lowly to him with angry eyes. Father spoke, alerting them to our presence, yet Edward did not look directly at me. I had to bite my tongue against imploring him to do so. He seemed…grieved. Troubled.

Too soon, Father was beckoning Jasper to lead Lord Aro and I to the Throne Room, whilst he ushered Edward into his study, away from me.

I bit my lip in disappointment.

The Throne Room was filled with servants and guards, no doubt involved somehow in witnessing what had happened. I flinched away from their questioning gazes, detesting the exhibition of it all.

I contemplated the conversation going on this moment between my father and Edward as I sat in the room, waiting. Likely, Father would wonder why Edward was there and ask, as he had me, why I refused to let Edward go. But as I wondered that, I remembered my thoughts of last night… How fragile I had felt. Begging and pleading for Edward to stay with me, to comfort me, to want me as before. _Selfish_, I had thought. And I was. Knowing that he was concerned enough to come back to me—to stay with me—I held onto his attentions without care that I was making a fool of myself. I could have washed my face, removed the blood-stained dress… But I needed him. Needed to feel his touch. Perhaps it was madness. I cared not. Even now I could feel the phantom touch of his hands, where his fingers had swept across my arms, drifted along my spine, held to my waist, or caressed my cheek. And not once did his eyes stray to my exposed flesh as I watched him. Not even when he had carried me to bed.

Being that close again was maddening after such exile that I even had the audacity to kiss him—holding him to me as I prayed that the so-called Shield would keep him with me this time; it seemed so as I did not encounter the topaz-colored eyes as before. It was _my_ Edward the whole night. I did not know for sure what it all meant, but it did not matter if it was the locket or Edward himself. As long as I could have him with me one more time…to pretend that he hadn't abandoned me, and was still my best friend and solace.

But…what was he now? Did this mean that he would change his mind? I was suddenly realizing the foolishness of the hope I had been carrying with me all morning. Edward was stubborn. He rarely changed his mind, and knowing—realizing—that now…

Now it was worse, knowing that I had to lose him all over again. After all, nothing had truly changed. Our roles are much the same, and it is not fair to force him as I did.

_What had I done!_

I only hoped that he would allow me to apologize before the silence returned.

My thoughts were broken as Father entered the room, Edward behind him. The aching feeling was once again gone in his presence, but I nearly whimpered at the overwhelming emotion of loss that gripped me. Not looking at him seemed to help, but when I raised my eyes to him again he was watching me. My breath caught as I gazed upon his eyes for the first time this day. Beautiful, strong, wise…so many words, yet they could not hold the man in front of me. Only a moment and I was forced to turn away from him, lest I behave thoughtlessly once again.

Father had already called Aro to speak, and once finished had ruled that Demetri be banished and the Volturis relieved of their titles. It was a weak sentence, and though I should have been angered at Father's decision, it only paled in consideration for what was coming.

And thus my task was nigh as Father swore all to silence.

"Isabella?"

_Breathe. __Just __breathe_.

My legs felt unstable as I took the ring box from Mrs. Stanley and proceeded to where he stood, my Edward.

Determined, I made my voice steady as I first apologized to, and then thanked him for all he had done, carefully detaching my emotions whilst the others watched.

"There is _nothing_ to forgive, Your Highness. I am forever at your service," he said. And upon taking the ring his fingers touched mine and he proceeded to kiss my hand in gratitude. I nearly fainted from the feeling. Remembering where we were, I quickly retreated and sat once again.

I thought that it was over, then. But Father had made other plans, announcing my new Guard. At first I was incredulous that he could do this to me and choose someone without my permission. Then I discovered that it was Edward who had agreed.

I was angry.

_How __dare __they __decide __for __me?_

I expected it from Father. But not him. He should know better than to treat me as such. I could tell that he knew it, too. He did not even look in my direction as he swore that oath, or when Sir. Thomas presented him. Under any other circumstance I would have been excited as to what this would mean for us, but I could no longer take advantage of him. It was not fair to either of us. I would just have to wait and devise a way to persuade Father to release Edward from his oath.

As soon as the room had been cleared, I went straight to my parents and demanded that they explain themselves.

"Well, if you must seek out blame, the fault is mine."

"Mother?"

"Do not be so surprised. He is clearly an upstanding young man. It will be good for you. Now, here he comes. Behave yourself."

"Well, now that all the ceremony is out of the way, we all should be properly introduced." I was still angry as Father introduced Edward to me formally after he greeted Mother. I wanted to ask him why he would agree to this arrangement. Knowing I could not now, I took a deep breath and tried to be civil as I was instructed. "A pleasure, sir."

"Your Highness," he said bowing, kissing the top of my hand again.

I attempted to think of more to say, but my anger was stifling my articulation. I had to retreat and clear my head.

"Well, Edward, I hope you will excuse me. I was planning to go for a walk in the garden this morning, so I will be—"

"Oh, what a wonderful idea!" Mother exclaimed suddenly. "Surely Edward should accompany you." No, no no no no no. Not yet, I needed time still. But she continued, "After all, you two should become acquainted with one another. What do you think, Edward?"

He gulped nervously, no doubt knowing I wished to be alone, looking between Mother and me before replying. "Of course, Your Majesty." _Drat_. He turned to me, "May I, Your Highness?"

I simply nodded before pacing out of the room, Edward following silently.

_Breathe. Just breathe. He is just a boy. Just a boy. You do not need his sympathy. Tell him so. _

I had stopped walking, hiding us behind the stone fountain where we would not be discovered should anyone want to spy on us.

_Now __just __turn __around __and __tell __him. __Tell.._.

All thoughts dissipated as soon as my eyes had met his, and before I knew what was happening I had pulled him to me. I hadn't meant to kiss him. It was some kind of impulse, like breathing… being so close was the problem. I stepped away, hoping I could focus on what I had to do.

It turned out, though, that we were both feeling selfish.

Edward had actually believed that I only wanted him because I was in shock.

I honestly could not fathom the nonsensical way his mind worked sometimes. But it was a mystery that had to wait as we could not fully discuss what this new situation now meant…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_I __suppose __we __could __have __spoken __this __afternoon_, I thought now, coming back to the present. The honest truth was that I did not want to waste time talking about the past. It was best left there.

All throughout supper Mother was very talkative, as always, asking Edward about his childhood, if he knew his parents, what he thought of being employed in the palace. She seemed quite taken with him, which was curious, but I did no complaining. She was at least attempting to lighten the mood.

Father on the other hand… Well, he _seemed_ to be disinterested. Yet, there were moments where he would stare at Edward strangely. As if he were waiting for something to happen.

Edward himself was no help either. He sat next to me, and every few minutes I felt the tips of his fingers brush my hand beneath the table. I could feel the blush paint my face and throat as his touch turned my skin to gooseflesh.

How could I feel chill and warm at once? Perhaps I was developing a fever. Either way I possessed little appetite. Edward did not seem to have that trouble though, once I had discreetly shown him which fork to use at each course.

I bit my tongue against laughing at that thought. He looked almost frightened; Edward only knew how to set the utensils, not make use of them.

I must have been smiling, because I felt his hand again, and when I looked up he raised a brow at me in silent question.

Shrugging in response caused his eyes to narrow, but I paid it no mind.

"So, Isabella, Edward, I trust that your time was spent well today in becoming more acquainted?" Mother decided that there had been enough quiet in the last few minutes, I guessed.

"Of course. It was quite…um…"

"Educational," Edward finished.

I smiled.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"This must be some kind of joke," Edward muttered as we reached the Royal Tailor, Laurent, who was dressed quite eccentrically in a crimson colored suit, white shirt, and cravat to match. His long, dark hair was slicked back, prim and proper.

"AH! Isabella, Child, how magnificent it is to see you, my dear," he exclaimed, taking my hand in his before turning to Edward. "Oh! And is this the young Knight in Shining Armor?"

"Yes. Edward, may I present Laurent, the finest couturier in all Forcelle."

"Oh, you do flatter me, Highness! Now," he circled Edward, eyeing his current dressings with distaste, "I am thinking classic lines, vibrant colors, and perhaps a few touches of my own personal style."

Edward's eyes widened in fear as he turned away from Laurent to me, begging silently with his expression. I decided to intercede.

"No, none of that now. Just keep it simple. He is only meant to accompany me on my outings. But do see that he has something to match my formal gowns."

Laurent made a face. "As you wish, Your Highness."

Hours were spent as Edward endured the poking and prodding of the tailor and his assistants. It was quite the amusing scene. I was quietly shaking with laughter at various moments, and abruptly realized that I had not genuinely laughed or smiled for quite some time.

And it was all because of _him_.

After this task was completed, we made our way to the apartments reserved for the royal servants, finding where Edward would now be staying.

The room was large for its size, and much more comfortable than that cave resided in previously. The room was simply dressed with shades of warm brown and dotted with deep indigo decorations. There was even a window, I noticed, walking to gaze out and see the greenery outside. It was charming. "What do you think of it?"

I turned back, seeking Edward's answer, and noticed him sitting across from where I stood, his eyes distant.

"Edward?"

No response.

Though this sort of event had happened before, it still unnerved me greatly. I knelt next to him, watching. "Edward?" I placed my hand on his cheek. "Edward." He looked at me then. Confused, just as I was. "Where did you go?"

It was a moment before he answered. "I am not sure." He placed his hand on mine, tracing hidden patterns on the back of it, "but I missed you…so much."

"I missed you, too."

He smiled, but melancholy marred it. "It is strange to think that I have not been this close to you for so long… You have grown pale, I think. Thinner, too." He trailed his hand from my hand, down the length of my arm and along my shoulder to rest at my collarbone, watching the journey. "This was my fault." It was not a question. He blamed himself.

I knew he was mostly speaking the truth, but not completely.

"You do not seem to be yourself, either." Though I did not know what it was that made him so. Perhaps it was because I had been away from him for so long, or maybe it was not his features… Something else…

'Bella…" His gaze had dropped with the volume of his voice.

"Yes?"

"Would you… I… I mean, can I…?" He paused taking a deep breath, finally meeting my eyes. "Stay with me," he breathed, so quite I had nearly missed it.

There was such apprehension in his verdant gaze, twisting my heart. He thought I would say no.

I could never refuse him. And not when I wanted the same as he did. I smiled, "As if I would let you out of my reach now."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"Well, that's good to hear." Mother said, bringing me out of my memories. "Is it not, dear husband?"

"Mmm." He hummed, not wishing to truly comment. I sighed.

Our meal finished, we accompanied my parents to the Yellow Parlor just beyond the Dinning Room.

"So, Edward, what did you learn about my daughter today?" Mother asked, eyeing me quizzically. "Only positive things I hope."

"Indeed. She is a clever young lady, and was quite kind to me, I assure you. Most amiable."

"Well, I think that is enough querying for one day. Surely Edward is exhausted, much as I am?" I looked at Edward expectantly, hoping he understood.

"I suppose I should retire," he agreed, thankfully. "The General promised a rather vigorous training exercise."

"Of course, of course. Please do go then, for I would not wish to see you fatigued. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," we both murmured to them before retreating, Edward escorting me to my room before going to change.

I moved swiftly to summon Mrs. Stanley so I could be out of this dress and ready for bed. She made quick work of it, and just as I had placed the comforter around my legs, he had appeared.

There was only little hesitation before he came to me, and the unease I had felt all evening had melted away in his arms.

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**A/N: So, once again I must apologize for the heinous lateness of this chapter! Please forgive me, as I was very much caught up in finishing my final projects for my classes (the last one was actually due the day after Christmas! I mean, seriously? Ugh!). Anyways, please review and let me know that you're still there! Thanks so much for continuing to read! Oh, and since I'm finished until January 10th, I'll be doing much more writing in the next two weeks, so I should be posting 14 next week, and 15 the week after. Hope you all had a merry Christmas, or other happy holiday! **

**And Happy New Year!**

**~ Amy**


	14. Acclimate

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

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Chapter 14 – Acclimate

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EPOV

"I thought we were going to sleep in my room?"

She smiled sadly, knowingly. "I know you do not wish to stay there."

"Was it that evident?"

She nodded.

I smiled, happy that she still knew me so well. Perhaps too well. It is true that I had no desire to stay in that room, much less be alone in the vast space of it.

Though I was exhausted from the two days past, it was difficult to fall asleep as I had last night. So I simply watched Bella as she slept beside me, becoming more besotted with every breath that escaped her parted lips. How was it that she could hold my attention so thoroughly without even attempting to do so? I allowed my fingers to glide along her cheek, feeling her lean unconsciously into my touch.

"Edward…" She breathed.

"I am here, love." _Always_…

I traced the outline of her lips, so soft, the top just slightly more ample than the bottom. Watching as she dreamed, seeing the graceful curve of her body at peace. So tranquil in the stillness, while the rain just beyond the windows fell in gentle harmony with the beat of her heart. I could watch her sleep for eternity and imagined that I would never tire of it.

I placed my head lightly on her chest, listening to the gentle pulse that beat just below the surface, giving way to the rhythm that beat as my own, finally surrendering to sleep…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I awoke slowly, feeling small fingers gently combing through my hair, and when my eyes opened I was met with a sleepy smile and shinning eyes. "Hi," she whispered.

"Hi." This moment was a first. Bella was never awake before me.

She leaned into me, hiding her face in the crook of my neck as she snuggled closer. "I suppose you should be going soon, but I lack the desire to release you yet."

I wrapped her in my arms. "I _am_ at your disposal, Highness. Shall I tell the King you wish to keep me here, or do you desire to tell him?"

I could almost feel her features wrinkle in irritation at my teasing.

"Perhaps I should not have roused you. For it was much more pleasant without your daring wit to occupy me." A sigh. "But, it was either this, or listen to your snoring. I guess I prefer the former."

"Please, stop, before I blush with your kind words." Hushed laughter filled the room.

We laid quietly for a while then, enjoying the moment together before I had to go—which was all to soon.

"It is still early yet. You need not go so shortly." There was a slight emotion in her voice; if I had not known her so well I might have missed it. Bella was nervous. Her face was still pressed into my shoulder, but I could hear it nonetheless. I could also understand why. Fear.

"I do not wish to leave you. But I must for now." I brought my hand to her cheek, lifting her face to mine. There was uncertainty in her deep, brown eyes. "I will return to you. I promise." Graced with a small smile, I kissed her forehead in farewell.

Thus, I returned to my chamber, dressed and rode to the barracks—on my newly appointed stallion, Masen—that were located an hour east of the main palace.

The day was slightly warm, though clouds swathe the sky in gloomy shades of gray. I hoped that Bella would be content in my absence. Her strength had always been one of her most prominent features, and yet in my stupidity I had nearly shattered both of our resolves… Bella's trust in me has diminished, and I needed do everything possible to restore it. I _will_restore it.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Approaching the barracks, I spoke with a guard to inform them of my appointment with the General.

"Follow me," he said.

We walked through the training grounds, passing circle after circle of hand-to-hand combat training and fencing practices. Many soldiers surrounded them, no doubt learning others' techniques. The General was at the far end of the field, coaching and watching a particular match with great attention.

The guard leading me stepped forward and spoke in General Whitlock's ear, no doubt speaking of my presence. Sir Thomas turned toward me then, smiling kindly. "Edward, my boy! You have made it at last. Come and watch."

Sitting at his side, I observed the two men in the ring. They were in close quarter training, each possessing a short blade, moving with quick, lithe actions. As I watched, I recognized one of the men as the blond soldier I had seen around the palace as of late.

Jasper. I believe that was his name.

He was clearly the more skilled of the two, making several advances on his opponent with near deadly accuracy. Weaving in and out, switching from attacker to defender, Jasper seemed to be taunting the other man in his abilities. Finally he seemed to have drawn out the fight long enough and pinned his adversary in seconds, earning a cheer from those who were also spectating.

Sir Thomas introduced me and Captain Jasper Whitlock—his son, apparently—then as student and teacher, making note that he wished for me to begin fencing, hand-to-hand and close combat.

Jasper did not seem to be thrilled with his assignment, but nonetheless agreed to tutor me and we set out to begin drill lessons.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Hours later and I felt completely exhausted. We had begun, I would say, around sever in the morning, and it was now five in the evening. I would not normally be released so early, but I was sent for by Laurent. Apparently, I needed final fittings before some of my wardrobe would be sufficient. Also, the Princess wished to speak with me.

I smiled.

Once I had the torture of clothing dealt with I made my way to where Bella was, supposedly in the process of…choosing a gown in her room? This I had to see to believe. And yet, even as I entered the room and witnessed various maids presenting her gown after gown, it was still baffling. Yet I smiled in spite of my shock. The ever-present ache in Bella's absence vanished as soon as my eyes found her, sat upon the vanity chair as maids paraded in front of her.

"Bel—Your Highness, you sent for me?"

She looked up, her smile shining brighter than the morning sun. "There you are! Come here."

"And what is all this?" I asked quietly.

"Well, the Queen insists that we have some sort of celebration soon, as to welcome you properly, of course." She rolled her eyes. "Anyhow, we are to attend." She paused. "Together."

Another social evening? "How soon…um, may I ask, Your Highness?"

"Within this month next."

So soon? Had the Queen any idea how fragile her daughter had become in the last few days? Though, I suppose there was something to it, since I had yet to see Bella excited about something such as this. She was even choosing her dress—a task usually left to her mother—Wait. Bella and I were to attend together? As in…_together_? Was it true? My mind filled with images at the thought. I would be dancing with her and stealing her attention just as I had always wanted. Dreamed. Perhaps it would be a good thing to celebrate after all.

"Ooh, that is lovely!" She must have truly thought so for she abruptly stood, holding the gown around her body. "Perfectly lovely, indeed." A laugh. "Edward, what do you think?"

The dress was an emerald green color, with an embroidered bodice, its straps laying off the shoulder. The skirt was gathered into three layers, the top two lifted, with the fabric at the fold twisted to appear as roses. It was quite attractive.

"It is beautiful." _Nearly __as __beautiful __as __you_.

She blushed from my words, biting into her lip as she returned her attention the gown suddenly, and I noticed that the girls assisting her were tiptoeing around us. _Had__I__said__that__aloud?_I caught the eye of one maid—Angela—and she merely smiled before gathering up some other garment, returning it to the vast wardrobe. _Stupid,__stupid,__stupid!_

Clearing her throat, Bella instructed Angela to attend to her dress and to make certain that Laurent had something prepared for me to match it.

"Good. Now that that is settled, would you mind accompanying me in a turn about the palace, Edward? I have been holed up in here all day, it seems."

"Of course." I offered her my arm and we were on our way.

We had reached the upper terrace—one of our favorite hiding places—leaning over the white rail while viewing the distant lights of the city. Bella had not spoken one word. "So… May I inquire as to who you are and what you have done with my best friend?"

She raised an eyebrow. "And what, exactly, do you mean by that?"

"When was the last time _your_ interests included clothes?"

"As of today, when I learned that a certain copper headed gentleman would be in attendance."

"And who would that be?"

She smirked, shaking her head slightly. "Oh Edward. Stop teasing me so. How many times have we wished for this, only to believe it impossible? And now, for some reason everything has fallen into place and I am not going to waste it. Not while I have you back." Brown eyes glistened in the fading sun as she smiled softly. Her fingers intertwined with mine as she stepped forward, resting her head upon my chest. "I missed you today."

"And I, you. Though there was little time for it. Jasper Whitlock shows little mercy."

She smiled. "Jasper?" I did not return it. "Did he assist you?"

"He's to be my tutor, of sorts. Footwork is apparently one of the most important fundamentals in all true fighting." And if it were true, I have no doubt that Jasper's methods would prepare me to single-handedly defeat the whole of the army. Surely it was some form of torturous initiative. And this only the first day. If it did continue, I no doubt would be the most dexterous runner in the whole kingdom. I attempted to defend against the approaching headache.

"Well, he has been groomed for the life of a soldier since childhood. You can trust him."

How would she know? "Oh? Do you?" She stood, watching me with curiosity, not answering. Was there a reason I had seen him with my Bella as of late? "I had not realized you two were so close."

Curiosity crossed her features. "Edward, you are being nonsensical. I have no reason not to trust him, and no, you know that I am close to no one apart from you. What upsets you so?"

"Upset? I am not upset." Or was I?

"Mmm."

"What?"

"Nothing." Bella released my hands, placing hers around my body. In doing so she had instantly calmed me somehow. "Better?" She asked with a slight smirk.

"Yes… Why do you have that look?"

"What look?" Always innocent.

"Never mind it."

There was a charged pause then. Why, I did not know, but Bella's cheeks were becoming quite flushed.

"Tell me what you are thinking."

Lowering her gaze, "Nothing of consequence." A pause. I waited; she was going to tell more than that. "All of a sudden, I… I want to be closer to you… What I mean is that I want to… to… Oh, even I am not sure what I am trying to say."

"Well, I am afraid I do not follow. We cannot be much closer than we are at present."

Another silent moment passed.

"Edward?"

"Yes?"

"Do you ever think…about…kissing me?"

_Yes_. "Perhaps that is not something we should speak of now." I had truly missed her earlier, and this conversation was not the best if I was to focus on earning Bella's trust back. _Stop __staring __at __her __lips_. "Besides, it is hardly worth the discussion."

She hesitated, and I feared that I knew the reason why. Finally, she spoke. "What happened that night, Edward? Can you remember?" Her voice was soft, concerned.

"Yes. I remember."

"Tell me. Please?"

I did not know how we had come to this, but I supposed that it was best to speak now. So I told her what I could. How I had lost control without any realization. My mind was dark and focused only on her. _On __making __her __mine_. I shuddered at the thought of what I had done.

She listened quietly, and when I had finished speaking of that horrid night, I realized that I was shaking. She held me to her, then. _Bella_ was comforting _me_. Running her fingers through my hair she spoke, "If I tell you something, will you listen? Really listen?" I nodded, expecting her to admit that she had been angry or frightened of me.

Wrong on both accounts.

"I… Well, there have been some strange dreams, occurring rather often while I sleep. I had experienced one in particular before your birthday, and I sometimes still dream it." She paused before explaining it with such emotion. Being lost somewhere, a girl named Alice bringing her to find me. I would hold her to me, pleading somehow before I… kissed her.

By then, the whole of her face had become pink with embarrassment. Yet she continued, "…and when the kiss is broken, your eyes…" She stopped.

"My eyes?"

"They change color. Golden yellow, as if the sun itself were staring at me. And I scream, awakening in fright from that gaze."

"Bella, you're trembling."

I was quite alarmed, but she continued on as if I had not spoken. "And when you had kissed me that night, I could feel the change. I never would have believed that it could be possible… There was something different. I knew it was no longer you." She looked up at me, her voice barely a whisper. "I panicked in striking you. And when you opened your eyes, they were not green. They were gold, Edward. Just as in my dream."

I could not comprehend it. She must have been mistaken, the fear causing her to imagine things. Yet, from the way she spoke with such conviction, I had not the nerve to discredit her by any means.

But, what kind of monster was I then?

Suddenly there was another question I wanted to ask, but was not sure I wanted the answer. "What about the night before last? When we…"

"Nothing. Out of the ordinary, I mean. You never lost yourself. Did you?"

"No. I do not believe so. But my confidence is limited now."

"You truly believe me, then?"

"Of course. I admit that I cannot be sure about anything that I remember…" Though her revelations were still unnerving. "Perhaps I _am_ a monster." I suddenly felt disgusted with myself.

"No," Bella said forcefully. She seized my face in both hands, forcing my gaze. "No Edward. You cannot believe that. It is ridiculous to even entertain an idea as such. You are my Edward and there is nothing else."

I took her hands in mine, shaking my head. "Clearly, that is not the situation."

"Perhaps if we found out who your family is, we could—"

"You know I have no desire in doing so, and even then, finding them would no doubt confirm the fact that I am a worthless—"

"Stop. This. Instant." Anger laced her voice now. "You did kiss me, Edward. You did not lose yourself in doing so, and it has not happened again."

"Nor will it ever have reason to."

"What do you mean?"

"That I have no reason to kiss you again, and so I—"

"No reason?" I shook my head, turning away. She would see the lie, otherwise. "None at all?"

"None."

"Look at me and tell me, Edward."

I turned, fully prepared to continue. I had not expected to be so completely entranced by the mere sight of her, flushed cheeks, trembling lips, and bright eyes. I opened my mouth, but there was no sound. I cleared my throat, angrily determined as I leaned toward her.

"There is _no __cause_ for me to kiss you, ever again."

"Liar." Undeniably.

The next I knew Bella had wrapped her arms about my neck and lifted up on her toes, thrusting our lips together.

Ecstasy. There was no other word to possibly describe it. Just the taste of her lips, and my mouth watered. The need for her amplified. One hand had claimed her hip as the other sought the exposed flesh of her throat. It felt as if my whole being was consumed by her. I could not even fathom why I had argued against this in any sense. More. I wanted more. Though, air was now becoming a need and I fought with the aversion to releasing her lips. Bella turned to the side, gasping, and I allowed my lips to glide down her jaw, kissing along the length of her neck as I felt her shiver. Her fingers grasp my hair, drawing me closer. She speaks my name and the sound does strange things to my body. My lips return to hers and my mouth waters all over again.

But soon—too soon—we broke away from each other, attempting to focus on the outside world once again.

It is now nearly nightfall, cold as the last fading beams of twilight are nearly extinguished.

No one seems to have noticed our disappearance as I escort Bella to her room. I left her there to quickly change for supper and meet the King and Queen. I was rather thankful that they had not asked me to dine again, as my appetite seemed to be quite satisfied. It was not until hours later that I felt the reality of what had happened. Yet, I had no idea of what the future consequences would be.

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**A/N: Happy 2011! Glad to know you're still here! The reviews make me smile so much! Sorry about the delay, I had a surprisingly busy week so that's why this is a bit late. :( Thanks for the push MelkiSihou and Medward gals! Hehe. On a good note, Chapter 15 is already in the works! :) So I'm thinking that will be up most likely Friday. Yay!**

**Picture of Bella's Green Gown and Edward's horse, Masen on my live journal (link on profile).**

**Review please?**

**Oh! And I forgot in the last update that there's a story I wanted to rec:**

OriginsTheBellaStory by MelkiSihou.

Summary: Have you ever wondered why Bella attracted so much trouble, why boys seemed to fall in love with her, or why creatures of myth were drawn to her? Bella soon finds out why she never truly fit in when she learns by accident that she was adopted.

**It's only a few chapters in, and _for__now_ following canon, but it's definitely one that draws you in with her twist on Bella's back-story. Go give it a read! :)**


	15. Decisions

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**For those of you patiently (or maybe not) wanting to get some more meaty information… you're welcome in advance. ;)**

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Chapter 15 – Decisions

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BPOV

Once again, Edward had refused me in even discussing the possibility of finding out where he came from. I had finally told him the truth of what I had seen the night of his birthday, and though I had anticipated him to argue with me, I did not realize it would be about himself. Which in turn only increased my desire to know more of his family.

"_Perhaps if we found out who your family is, we could—"_

"_You know I have no desire in doing so, and even then, finding them would no doubt confirm the fact that I am a worthless—"_

"_Stop. This. Instant."_

The words kept ringing in my head, causing the ebbing anger to surface once more. And what even made it worse was how he had distracted me with kisses. I had not meant to be so forceful… He was just so insistent on attempting to lie to me. It had to stop.

Though, I suppose the true reason I had exposed him was due to my desire to win at least one argument.

_Or __perhaps __you __enjoyed __those __kisses_. I sighed at the thought, wishing for silence from my thoughts. For some reason I had once again taken advantage of Edward, regardless of his concerns, and I had all together forgotten any other matter until he left my sight. That was the moment I realized what had happened with the argument and…afterwards.

And I did not know what to make of it.

It was true that I had always been physically comfortable in Edward's presence, appreciating the way we could be in contact with one another. Yet, ever since I had begun having that strange dream, the desire for more had lingered, despite the warning. It was rather confusing, as I had no idea why I acted as such. Surely kissing was something left for marriage—or, at the very least, engagement. Not for two best friends. Especially when that life would be impossible. It was even potentially dangerous for our friendship to continue, even with Edward's new station. This was another reason why I truly had never been angry with him as he pushed me away. In the end, it mattered little, though as I still needed him every moment… How many times had I wished for Edward to be the one I could stay with? Often I had told him so. I longed for him to be with me, but I knew that it would never be. Unless we ran away together.

_Now_, that _is __an __idea_.

I had changed for supper and made my way to Mother and Father, who had already been seated, waiting for me to show up, though they made no mention of it. As we began to eat, my mind was constantly adrift, imagining a life away from crowns and parties and pointless connections…

No more hiding or missing each other. Just us. In a cottage somewhere quiet and alone. We could spend our days reading or speaking or strolling; I would work in the kitchen, making our meals while he went into town for work or practiced on our small pianoforte. After supper we would sit on the porch, watching the sunset, and at night we could stay together and sleep as late as we wished, without worry of being discovered. Of course we would have to be married; others would think it scandalous for a man and a woman to live together alone, and Edward would never allow anyone to think lowly of me, no matter the reason.

Suddenly, there was a hand on my shoulder. I flinched, suddenly realizing where I was.

"Isabella, have you not heard anything I was speaking? What has you so lost in thought?" Father asked.

"Sorry, Father. I suppose I…um," _think, __think__…_ "was pondering the ball Mother will be holding soon."

They seemed to accept that answer, and Mother continued the topic, no doubt thrilled at my interest in it. Surprisingly, it was true. I had never cared before about the frivolities of such, but knowing that I could finally have Edward beside me had made all the difference. Occupying my mind with the possibilities of it was the only reason I had pressed on through the day without him.

Anxious did not fully describe my feelings as Edward had left me this morning, yet I realized that being without him was extremely taxing on my nerves. And when he had returned I felt more at ease than I had all day. Even now, being without him as I finished my meal, my fingers were tingling with the desire to be entwined with his.

I made my way back to my chamber and pondered through every troubling thing that filled my head.

Perhaps Edward had no intention of discovering his family, but I did. With or without his permission. My fingers played with the delicate chain of my locket.

_Oh!_

I strode across the room, my mind traveling from thoughts of the symbol to the book to Carmen's letter. I had completely forgotten her request in the madness of what had transpired with Demetri. It had been little more than a week since I had received it, and I had yet to reply.

I did still wish to learn about the Cullens, but the desire to seek out Edward's past was also weighing on my heart. It was a perplexing situation as I contemplated both.

I would have to figure out a way to retrieve the historicals without anyone knowing, but also make plans to journey to the workhouse near the outer limits of the lower city without my escort. I sighed. Still attempting to decide, I changed for bed and slipped between the sheets, not waiting for him to return. Edward entered the room minutes later, but I paid him no attention as he lay beside me. He knew better than to bring anything up and eventually said goodnight.

I spent the next day deciding my course of action toward obtaining information about both the Cullens and Edward. Ultimately, I knew that I had to get away under everyone's noses no matter the reason, so I devised a way to do so. First, I would send Mrs. Stanley for the historicals, making sure to answer Carmen and convey my wishes to delay her for as long as possible, as well as binding the books and to not mention what they were once given. About half an hour after making Mrs. Stanley leave, I would follow, saying that I had sent her on ahead due to my running late, should anyone ask why I was alone. (I knew that excuse was not the most sound, but it would do at present.) Then, instead of the library, I would venture a little ways further to the workhouse. I surely could find out the name, or address at least, of whoever had sent Edward there. Perhaps if I attain that much, I could find his parents.

I did realize that I was being somewhat naïve in thinking that my journey would be so simple, but I could only hope for the best.

I set out to writing that letter to Carmen, deciding that I would make my journey the day after our ball, three weeks from now. Perhaps by then, Edward will have changed his mind. _Highly __unlikely_. Pushing that thought aside, I also wrote to Rosalie, inviting her to the festivities so I could see her for the first time in what felt like years. Of course, it was also an excuse to introduce her to Edward; not that I would have anything truly significant to tell her about what he means to me… I sighed.

Finished with those tasks, I decided it was a good moment to learn more about the Shield symbol on my locket. Since my first reading into the stories of these Instrument people, there was a certain fascination that lingered. Our own library had a section on sorcery and magic—an unsurprising observation considering Reverend Marcus's dabbling—that I had not ventured into before. I waved at Mr. Dwyer in passing and headed in the direction of my chosen study.

There were a few narratives of account, where humans supposedly had come upon them from afar. These stories were much the same as the little knowledge that I had read in the first spells book. Beauty, power, control, seduction…all of it seemed strangely convenient or vague, depending on the story. There was one man who even insisted that his daughter was bewitched by one of _them_ and stolen away because of it. _More __likely __she __eloped __and __father __did __not __approve_. Another account boasted that two friends had journeyed into the forest alone, and only one of the boys had returned, his friend forced away. It seemed each story was becoming more ridiculous than the last. A different tale described a young man who was discovered missing after several days. It seemed that he had simply run away, but later they had found his journal and in his writing he spoke of a girl with astounding beauty and shining eyes who had captured his heart…

_Shining __eyes?_ My own heart quickened. Of the dozens of accounts I had read, none had mentioned anything specific, save for this. But, did it really have to do with my own account?

I laughed at my absurd conclusions. Edward was no doubt human. I had never seen anything out of the ordinary from the years we had spent together apart from the obvious one. I had been drawn to him since the moment my eyes first encountered his form more than seven years ago. I knew then that there was something more to him… But he was still Edward. The sweet and teasing, kind and playful boy I had always known him to be. Perhaps I was only projecting these theories onto him. Yes, that was all.

_Then why has your locket prevented those eyes from resurfacing?_

I did not know if that was true. Though it was perhaps the main reason I had come here to find out more. My locket had been worn each time I had kissed him, except for the first. It was between hope and fear that I swayed in the ability of it. I had even made sure that it was around my neck at all times now, lest something happen as it did this past night.

Still, Edward was not one of these creatures. I felt completely foolish in even thinking it now. Besides, it was not proven that they even existed in the first place, and if they did, it was clear that their only agenda was harm. Edward would never hurt anyone, especially me. So what did the glow in his eyes mean?

My head was spinning from the constant circle of questions. Perhaps it was time to take a break. Much of the day had passed while I was inside, and it seemed the rain had too, for the sun was making a break through the clouds. Taking a shawl, I decided to walk to the field that Edward and I used to visit. Not much had changed since I had been here last, save for the wildflowers springing up to celebrate the season. The grass was still tall and green with light rays bouncing off the top. I smiled as I remembered the days when we would play hide and seek, or have races back and forth across the length of the space, or make whistles of the grass blades—well, Edward did. My own never seemed to work properly.

He truly was good at everything.

I suddenly realized then that I had never inquired about his training. I could see that he was no doubt tired, and I wondered just how far Jasper was pushing him.

Jasper. It seemed my mention of his name was the cause of another peculiar reaction from Edward. If I had not thought better of it, I would think he was jealous. That did not make sense, though, as I had barely spoken to Jasper throughout my whole life, with the exception of this week past. I had danced with him, but Edward did not know that. As far as I knew he had only seen me with Jasper that morning of Demetri's sentence. One or two encounters hardly qualify as "close." Realizing that my mind was beginning to conjure questions again I decided to return to the main palace.

Giving myself no opportunity to think, I immediately chose a novel and began reading in the Yellow Parlor until supper, and then returned afterward to continue my book.

I was startled awake, not realizing I had fallen asleep until I noticed Edward looking down upon me.

"My apologies, Princess. I did not mean to disturb you so."

I looked around, noticing we were alone before returning to Edward's smirking face.

"Do not call me princess." My muscles were quite stiff as I sat upright, stretching my arms over my head.

"As you wish. But surely you would like to sleep in your bed, as opposed to here."

"The time?"

"Around ten, I would say."

"Did you just arrive here, then?"

"Not just. I had ventured to see you, but you were not in your room, so I had to look elsewhere. Why are you down here?"

I raised a shoulder momentarily in ignorance. I could not explain. "How was your day?"

"Fine," he replied, turning to take the chair across from where I lay on the settee, "another vigorous day, but I seem to be moving forward. And yours?" My attempt to change the subject did not go unnoticed.

I told him that I had written to Rosalie, and that much of the day was spent reading, though I did not explain what it was. It seemed he was satisfied with the answer, as I had been known to read for hours at a time. We sat in silence for a while before I asked if Edward would play the piano for me, noticing it in the corner behind him.

"It has been a long time. I do not—"

"Exactly, which is why you should. Please? For me?"

A sigh. "What would you like to hear?" He asked, moving to lift the lid to the upright Broadwood.

"Anything."

His fingers swept across the keys gently, listening to the perfectly tuned strings before beginning the adagio sostenuto of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. One of my favorites. I watched him as the soft, haunting melody came forth, gliding gently across the space between us. I had almost forgotten the way he looked while playing; his eyes lowered in concentration, arms extended in graceful motion as his fingers caressed the black and ivory keys. His back was straight, but swayed slightly to the unending wave of triplets played by his right hand. It was beautiful.

He continued to play through the movement, but as it was nearing its completion, Edward had began to change it, bending the harmony and replacing Beethoven's music with his own. It was something similar, and yet completely original as he created a new, unbearably sweet song that had touched me in an unspeakable way. I could feel my eyes stinging with unshed tears as he played on, lifting his head slightly to seek me through his long lashes. There was a torrent of emotion in his gaze as he watched me, his hands never ceasing what seemed to be the music of my soul. I was ensnared in the depths of his emerald gaze, with no hope or desire to ever escape.

"Ahem."

The spell was broken then, as my eyes snapped to where Mrs. Stanley and Mother were standing in the doorway. The music had stopped.

"Edward, that was lovely. I did not know you played."

We both stood abruptly, Edward bowing as he moved from the instrument. "Yes, I—um, good evening, Your Majesty." My face felt as if it were on fire.

She smiled at him before turning her attention to me. "Isabella, dear. It is late. Perhaps you should be off to bed, yes?"

My eyes slid from her to Edward and back, "Of course." I turned. "Goodnight, Edward. Mother." And with that I retreated, wondering what had just happened.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

"That was interesting." Edward said, finally joining me in my bedchamber.

"There you are! What happened? Did she speak with you?" He nodded. "Well?"

He pursed his lips. "Apparently I should make sure to not be alone with you when it is not necessary."

I raised my eyebrows in question.

"She did not like the way we were staring at each other. It was not said, but I could tell."

"Oh."

We said nothing more before climbing into bed. Nothing, no excuse, seemed to keep us apart now.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I had slept soundly these few nights past, knowing Edward was beside me. Tonight, however, was something of a change, as I felt uneasy in my dreaming—tossing and turning—wishing for it to stop. Then my left hand was ablaze. I sat upright, gasping, clawing at the bandage still covering my wound. I could vaguely hear Edward beside me, speaking something while attempting to hold me still. I had unwrapped my hand just before he seized my wrist.

"Bella! Bella? What is it?"

"My hand is burning." My voice was no more than a quiet whimper.

Edward made to get up, but I pulled him back. "No! Do not go. Please."

"Bella if you are hurt, we must call for someone—"

"No. No, just stay, please stay." He did. Holding me tightly, Edward rocked us back and forth, murmuring things I could barely hear. After what seemed to be an eternity, the pain stopped. I must have fallen asleep, as the next I knew it was morning. There was a note on my pillow, but no Edward.

_Bella,_

_Forgive my absence, angel. Please know I stayed for as long as possible without_  
_gaining any notice. I did not wish to wake you, so I wrote instead. Please know_  
_that I am thinking of you and will come in but a moment, if you send for me._

_Be safe._

_Love,_

_Edward_

I sighed longingly. Of course he would not be able to stay, but it was still painful to know he was not here beside me. I remembered that the cause of my restless night was due to the cut in my left palm. It was covered in cloth. Edward must have re-bandaged it before leaving.

I decided to inspect my hand, wondering what had happened to cause such pain. Lifting the bandage away, I expected to see the angry red line that was there the day before, only now guessing that it would be bruised and possibly bleeding.

But there was nothing.

My mouth dropped open in surprise as I gazed at the perfectly smooth skin of my palm, completely unblemished. It was as if there was no slash ever upon it. Running to the window, I held my palm up toward the light; I blinked, attempting to make it reappear. I was also touching where the line had been, but it was gone. Vanished.

A knock on the door startled me, and I tried to remain calm as I was dressed for the day, keeping the bandage around my hand in hopes Mrs. Stanley would take no notice of it. She did not, thankfully, leaving quickly.

I was now left alone to think, though I had no idea what.

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**A/N: Man, what is going on with these two? (Hehe, I know!) Sorry, once again for the lateness. Didn't mean to end it on a cliffie either. :/ Classes began on Wednesday, so I'll now be returning to the two-week updates. :P **

**If you're wondering what Bella's hand attack looked like, watch this clip from Lord of the Rings beginning at 1:47: **

**www .youtube. com/watch?v=82lIOVCWisc (just remove the spaces)**

**Oh and if you forgot what Bella's locket/symbol looks like, pictures are still on my LJ. Thanks for reading! Review please?**


	16. Conundrum

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Please make sure to read the A/N at the bottom! Thank you!**

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Chapter 16 – Conundrum

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EPOV

I stumbled for what must have been the tenth time in an hour.

"Concentrate," Jasper demanded. He was rather fed up with me already.

I attempted to do as told, but to no avail as I landed promptly on my backside yet again. I grunted in frustration.

_What was going on now? Did she need me? What had happened last night?_

These thoughts and more plagued my mind as I struggled to attend my instruction. I tried to think of ways that I could have stayed with her for just a bit more time, but there was nothing that would not sound suspicious were I to alert someone. Sometimes it was rather difficult keeping our secret when I could be of no help. For example, the time where Bella had sprained her wrist while we were out playing one day; we were climbing trees near the grassy meadow and she slipped. It was easy to see she was in pain, and when I just mentioned going to her maid I was threatened with merciless anger if I told anyone—not that I could, since we both were not supposed to be doing such things as playing together. And I was sick with the idea that she was hurt.

Now it was much the same, yet stronger with the added ache I still felt without her presence. And I struggled to stay where I was.

Jasper let out a huff, indignant. "Well, my hopes had risen from your progress; you were actually doing well these last few days. What ails you?"

"It is nothing," _and __everything_.

"_Nothing_ appears to be a heavy burden, then."

Indeed.

"Well, get up and try it again. You need to learn, Edward, that protecting the Princess is more important than anything. Even your silly problems, whatever they may be. There should be no distractions that take away from her safety."

"I understand, sir." All too well. The concern for her safety _was_ the problem that I struggled with now.

More hours passed and it was late morning before I was allowed a moment to rest properly. Then it was straight back to drills. I kept working with diligence, hoping and praying that Bella was all right.

Turns out that I did not have to wonder much longer.

As I continued to place my stance and balance, I looked up at the feeling of being watched, and saw the one person I had been thinking of all morning—before stumbling at my own surprise.

A small gasp left her lips before I rose up off the ground. Jasper, having now been alerted to her presence promptly strode to her standing place. I could feel a scowl coming on.

"Isabella! How delightful. What brings you to our part of the world?" He smiled, taking her hand as he bowed. She smiled, but it was affected, forced.

"Hello, Jasper. Sorry about the intrusion, but I was wondering if I might borrow your student for a moment? I need to speak with him." Her voice carried a strange lilt. Perhaps I was right to be worried after all.

"Of course. Is anything the matter?" He had noticed the difference, too—annoying me to no end for some reason.

"No, no. I—I just need to speak with him about a few appointments and such." I was already beside them at this point, keeping careful to hide the emotions that were brimming.

He looked between us for some reason then, and proceeded to speak as if I were not present. "If there's any conflict with the training schedule, then I would be happy to—"

"No, thank you very much. I wish to speak with Edward, if you do not mind. Alone."

"Of course. I will leave you two then." He turned to me. "Edward, please come find me when you are ready to begin again," and with that he strode away.

She looked at me then, taking my arm gingerly (she probably didn't want to explain the reason for dirt on her dress later), "Come on, let's find someplace with fewer ears."

We walked to the outskirts of the training field where there were scattered elms a good distance from the others on the field. I had to bite my tongue through the whole walk to keep from demanding that she tell me what had happened. Finally she had stopped near one of the trees, turning to look back at the field.

"I was thinking of attending the theatre soon. Possibly this Friday next."

Did she really only come here to speak of such things? I followed her gaze to see that Jasper was walking about, but often turning to look in our direction. Perhaps there was a reason she was speaking so formally. "Very well, Your Highness." A pause. "Are you feeling well?" I had to know.

Her eyes met mine, pursing her lips. "Quite well… at least physically." She paused before opening her mouth again and promptly shutting it once more. She pulled us behind one of the trees.

"Bella, our hiding here hardly looks proper."

"I need to show you something," she said, pulling off her left glove and revealing her thinly bandaged hand.

"Has it been troubling you again?"

"Look at it, please. I need to know that I've not gone mad."

"Mad?" I did as she asked, removing the bandage carefully to reveal her unmarred palm. I let out the breath I apparently was holding, looking back up to her. "It's healed?" My fingers grazed the skin; there was not even a scar.

"No, more like it was never cut in the first place. Even the bruises on my arms are gone." She wrapped her fingers around my own. "What does it mean, Edward? I have tried to think of some reason for this, but cannot understand it."

"I do not know."

She moved toward me, but I had to hold her back.

"It would not be wise to get your dress dirty." She looked about to argue before I added the true reason, "Especially with Jasper watching us." And he most certainly was, I had no doubt. Hopefully, we were hidden enough.

Bella nodded, but with reluctance. She looked my person over and scrunched her nose it what seemed to be annoyance. She still hated having to be 'proper.'

"Are you always so filthy while here?"

"No. I… I could not concentrate while worrying about you. It was causing me to make mistakes, and well, it seems I am rather acquainted with dirt once again, not to mention Jasper was rather frustrated with me, but I could not stop wondering if you were all right, so…" She smiled at my ramblings, a faint blush upon her cheek. "What?"

"You were worried?" She stepped forward.

"Yes…" I stepped back.

"About me?" Another step forward.

"Of course." What was she getting at?

"Hmm. That is very… sweet."

"Sweet?" If anything it was foolish. I realized then that her hands were firmly holding to my shirt. How did she get so close? Our faces were only inches apart as she nodded to affirm my question.

And just like that she had dazzled me. Her smile, her blush, her eyes, her very being was my master. Her lips touched mine, only just, and there was nothing else. No rules, no troubles, nothing, except us. I knew there was a reason that I should pull away, but it evaded me as did all reason as she brushed her lips against mine again.

It was over though, as she stood back a short moment later, her face bright with happiness. I felt strange. Unsteady. Dizzy.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?"

"I said I must go. We have lingered too long."

"Uh, yes." I said, still attempting to clear away the fog. "Will you be all right?"

"I will, now that I have seen you."

I escorted her back to the front, where Mrs. Stanley was waiting and promptly sought out Jasper so I could get this day over with and return to Bella. He made no comment of her, nor the fact that I had improved in my focus during the remainder of the day.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

When I returned that night, I found Bella in her room reading from a book I had not seen before. The cover was black and the pages yellowed slightly from age.

"Bella?"

She flinched, not hearing my entrance. "Edward," she gasped, her hand going to her heart, "You scared me."

"Sorry. What are you reading?"

She bit her lip; her own personal indication for anxiety. I sat beside her near the hearth and flipped the cover over. _Protection,__Love,__and__Peace;__Spells__for__the__Beloved_. "Bella, what is this?"

"I was just curious to see if there was anything about healing in it."

Suddenly, I was worried. She knew better than to meddle with something like this. "Bella, sorcery is dangerous. You know that. Where did you even find this?"

"I know. I am not completely brainless. I found it in the library in town a while ago. I just… wanted to make sure that Demetri had not done something to me, I guess."

"Demetri? What does he have to do with sorcery?"

Bella finally told me what happened before I had stopped Demetri that night. I was livid. Not only had he been foolish enough to attack the Princess, but he had somehow picked up the trade of his uncle, using some form of enchantment on her. Did he not understand the danger? After all, it was one of the causes of the Great Battles so long ago. People using any advantage to hurt others, thought they often only ruined themselves.

At least Demetri could not reach Bella now. But did that have anything to do with her hand? I was not so sure. And it made me wish for his death all the more. But I had come to realize then why he was protected—Marcus. The King could not punish him without doing some damage to his relationship with the Reverend. It all made sense now, though I still hated the politics of it.

I held Bella tightly that night, both of us uneasy with the thought of the unknown.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Nearly three weeks had passed, and Bella was anxious to find out more information about her mysterious healing. Of course, that was not the only curiosity she held; several times over the last fortnight since she had brought up the subject, Bella had tried to talk me into finding out about my parents. She had begged and pleaded with me to at least think about it, but I refused. My memories were faded, broken, at best, and even then I could remember nothing of my family. Only being bitterly cold and alone…

I pushed all thoughts of it aside as I rode from the barracks back to the palace. It was barely midday, but Bella insisted that I should be relaxed for the party tonight that was a celebration of my heroism. So I now lie in my room, on the bed I have rarely slept in, attempting to rest and not think about anything in particular. Of course, my thoughts are immediately focused on Bella. She has no doubt already begun the process of dressing for tonight. I grimaced at the thought of spending several hours putting on clothes and rouge and having one's hair curled and prodded. She must be suffering.

I never did understand the reason women went about making themselves up in such a fashion. Though, I suppose there are those who were not graced with natural beauty, as Bella was. In that case, it would make sense if the girl wanted to attract a husband. But, would it not be better to have someone attracted to your true face? For there was no doubt that though Bella's beauty was enhanced with makeup, there was nothing more radiant than to see her when we used to run through the nearby woods; her eyes shining with happiness as she laughed, with her hair billowing in the wind about her face like a dark halo. That was her true form, wild and free, and if it were up for debate, I would never see her any other way.

I dressed in the suit that someone—possibly Laurent—had laid out for me; black, formal, with a white shirt and green brocade vest that matched Bella's dress perfectly. I was just placing my coat on when Laurent knocked on my door. He appeared to be pleased with his work as he appraised my appearance, but insisted that I allow him to do something with my hair. Twenty minutes later and he had somewhat tamed my tumultuous locks with a bit of hair wax.

It was nearly seven when I had made my way to the main foyer, but Bella was nowhere in sight. I turned around towards the stairs and stopped at the sight coming toward me.

Bella was wearing the green dress I had seen her choose before hand, with her hair in flowing ringlets down her back, and she was striking. I would have to reform my prior thoughts a bit it seemed. Perhaps it was all right to be made up every once in a while.

I bowed, taking her hand. "Your Highness. You look stunning."

"Thank you, Edward," she smiled. "You look quite handsome, also."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The party was much the same as any other I had seen in my time at the palace, except that I was no longer serving drinks or food. And Bella was…happy. More than I had ever seen her at a party. I had always known that she wished for me to be by her side, as often enough she hated feeling so vulnerable at these sort of things, but I had not seen that smile slip once.

Though it was nothing compared to the smile she wore while we danced. Holding her in my arms like that, even my dreams were no comparison to being with her that way, together, in front of all the stuffy people who thought themselves a rival for my Bella's affections. It was true that others had danced with her this night, but it was a great comfort to see that she never did react to them the way she had with me. She always sought me out when she could, but we did part at times, as I reluctantly could not stay beside her through the whole of the evening. I met several of Bella's acquaintances and was well received for someone without 'proper breeding,' whatever that meant. The Queen also boasted of my valor to her guests, seemingly proud that her servants—myself included—were so loyal to their monarchs. Though it was a kind gesture, I was beginning to loathe the praise, for each time I was presented, they would toast to my good nature and I felt quite a bit foggy after seven or eight glasses of champagne. It was a good thing I had already eaten.

There was still one person, though, that Bella wanted me to officially meet, who had yet to arrive: Princess Rosalie. The night was still early though, and they did travel quite a distance so it was not unusual when they did arrive nearly two hours or so late.

"She's here! Oh, wait until you meet her Edward! Wait right here for us, won't you?"

I smiled. She was too adorable. "As you wish, Your Highness."

She flitted off to greet Rosalie and I watched as she hugged her most amiably. There was a gentleman with her that I had never seen before, very tall and of a broad frame, and a kind face, from what I could tell at this distance. This must be the suitor Bella had told me about, Emmett, for he was dressed in a red vest that undoubtedly matched the color of Rosalie's long, ruby red gown. He took Bella's hand and greeted her.

"Holding up all right, boy?" A voice came from behind me.

"Oh, yes, thank you, Sir Thomas."

He chuckled softly. "Good to hear, good to hear." It sounded as though he had been privileged to a few more toasts than I. "Well, someone has got to keep that girl accounted for. She was practically a wallflower the time before this."

I had to bite my cheek to keep from laughing. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"That I am. Oh, looks like she's headed your way. Keep both eyes open, now."

"Um, yes. Of course, Sir." And with that, he sauntered off. I never did understand his bazaar comments about Bella. Oh well.

"There you are!" Bella's voice came from behind me. I turned to find her still-smiling face. "Edward, I would like to introduce you to Her Highness, Princess Rosalie Lillian Cullen." I smiled, offering my hand just at the moment I took in her face. She looked… frightened. "Rosalie, this is… Rose?"

The Princess gaped at me with such an expression you would think I had tortured her. Wide, blue eyes bore into my own as Bella and the gentleman with them attempted to recall her attention. She blinked a second later, shaking her head slightly before turning to Bella, "I am sorry, what was that?"

"Are you all right?"

Her face turned pink as she shifted her eyes from Bella to me once again. "Yes," she said in an unsteady, before offering her hand to me, "Forgive my rudeness. It is a pleasure to meet you… Edward, was it?"

I bowed, placing a kiss upon her hand. My voice was also unsteady as I was not sure what I had done to elicit such a response. "The pleasure is mine, Your Highness." Rosalie was attempting to regain her wits, and I was completely confused as to what just transpired. I turned to the man beside her.

He also stared at me questioningly before shaking it off with a large smile. "Hello, Edward. The name's Emmett McCarthy, Duke of Anthro. Do not trouble yourself over the title, though. Plain Emmett is quite all right with me, much to the _utter __horror_ of my mother."

"Yes, of course." I answered. It was clear that Emmett was attempting to lighten the mood, but to no avail as Rosalie was still staring at me strangely. Bella glanced between the two of us, her good mood diminished.

I tried to think of something to lighten the mood, but Rosalie was anxious to go it seemed, as she promptly spoke up. "I am sorry, it is rather warm. I must get some air. Please, excuse me."

Bella was quick to join her, "Of course, let's take a stroll to the balcony."

Emmett and I watched as the two walked away before turning to each other. "Forgive me, but have I done something—?"

"No, do not trouble yourself." He said, patting me on the back as if we were more than mere acquaintances. "Rose is…well, strange at times. You know how women are." He chuckled before continuing, "I… Sorry, this may seem an odd question, but, I must ask: do I know you in some way?"

"Me? No, I have never been to Londra. My home has been here for the past eight years."

"Hmm, I see. Sorry to be nosy, but you look strangely familiar somehow…" He shrugged, leaving it at that. We fell into a surprisingly easy conversation then. Emmett was quite the traveler apparently, and was an avid sports participant, though it seemed that he enjoyed the spirit of competition more so than the actual games. Baseball seemed to be the current trend, though I had never even seen a game, let alone played. "Never…you…what? How can you have never played? It's practically a right of passage."

I was not sure if he knew anything of my background, but decided that it was best not to privy such information anyway. "I did not have many traditions to adhere to, I suppose."

"Well, it's settled then. We shall have to invite you to play. Rosalie rather enjoys spectating, and I am sure we can talk Isabella into joining her."

The whole idea was preposterous, but he seemed too eager for me to point it out, so I merely agreed with vague intentions. _As __if __that __would __ever __happen_.

We parted ways then, as Queen Renée found the last few people that were not aware of my presence by this time, while he went in search of the ladies.

I found Bella shortly after I was released from the nobles, and was glad to see that her happy disposition had returned. "Is she all right, then?"

"Yes, I suppose. She said that you reminded her of another person in her acquaintance, and that it was just a shock to see someone so similar." Her tone implied her thoughts on the matter.

"But…?"

She sighed. "I do not know. She did not seem _surprised_. It was more… _alarm_."

"I thought the same thing. Emmett did ask if there was a possibility that I knew him somehow." It was so strange…

"Well, whatever the reason, she would not tell me, so I can only wait and guess in the meantime." She seemed so troubled all of a sudden over something so inconsequential.

"Well, do not give up then if your feathers are so ruffled," I teased. "Invite her to tea tomorrow and draw it out."

"No, I cannot, I…" She paused, looking away.

"You, what?"

"I have to catch up on my studies or Mother will pester me all day long."

Hmm.

"Besides, I thought we could all dine together tomorrow. Rosalie does feel awful for how she treated you."

"She need not feel so terribly. I was not insulted, or any of the sort."

"I tried to tell her so, but she did not listen."

"Perhaps I should be off to bed then, as I feel quite drowsy after the Queen's many toasts."

A small smile graced her lips. "Oh no! She didn't?" Bella's eyes filled with sympathy, though I do not remember her ever mentioning this sort of thing happening to her. "All right then, just make sure to tell Jasper you are expected at seven."

"Very well, Princess."

Bella opened her mouth to correct me, but closed it just as quickly. We were still in the ballroom, and she could not take the chance that someone would overhear her amendment. She narrowed her eyes in annoyance. I smiled. "Goodnight, Edward."

"Pleasant dreams, Your Highness."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I stumbled my way up the grand staircase and into my bedchamber, fully feeling the effects of the alcohol in my body now that I was alone and less guarded. I lay down on my bed after managing to remove my coat and proceeded in waiting for the dizziness to stop…

Suddenly there was a hand pressed to my cheek and I opened my eyes to see an angel, illuminated by a single candle. "How did you get up here so quickly?" I think I asked.

The angel giggled. "Oh Edward, I sent you up here two hours ago. Tsk, tsk, tsk. You are completely smashed." She laughed quietly, coaxing me into sitting up as she stood between my feet. "If Laurent even thinks that you slept in this suit, you would be murdered. Where are your pajamas?" I felt her remove the cravat from around my neck before unbuttoning my vest and shirt.

Having little care on the matter, I wrapped my arms around her, resting my forehead against her abdomen. She was so warm, and soft. "Then keep your big mouth shut and he'll never know." I grinned up at her seeing the laughter she was attempting to contain.

"You know I will not, especially since I must remind you not to call me princess, so get up and change this instant."

"Ugh. Fine." Bella climbed into my bed, turning to face the wall. I changed as quickly as I could into my pajama bottoms and climbed back into bed.

Turning to face me, Bella frowned. "Where is your shirt?"

"Too warm," I murmured, pulling her to me and breathing in the sweet perfume at her throat as my hand combed through her dark-chocolate locks. The other swept across the curve of her shoulder, down her back and up again to repeat the cycle.

"Mmm. Did you enjoy the party?"

"I enjoyed being with you. Could've passed on all the spirits, though. And watching you dance with the others." My mood was suddenly sour at the thought.

She chuckled. "I have to agree. Though, it was wonderful knowing I could always come back to you."

"They are all fools."

"Oh? Why is that?"

I stopped my ministrations, lifting my head so we were face to face. "They want you. All of them were thinking it, but they do not realize that they cannot have you. You're mine." I moved my face back to her throat, gliding my nose and lips along the length of skin. She smelled so good, like strawberries. My hands wrapped around her body so I could have her closer. "They want your smiles and attention, your kisses and touches." I kissed her just beneath the ear, feeling her breath hitch. "But they are all mine." I continued kissing along the length of her jaw to her chin before moving back. She shuddered. "Are you cold?"

"N-No." Her breaths were shallow.

"Okay." I tasted her skin. It was like fresh cream, "…so good."

It was quiet for a few minutes as I continued to kiss and touch her, my lips impatiently moving against hers. I moved back to her throat and then Bella spoke up again, "Edward… Why do you want me?"

I looked into her eyes, puzzled. "Do you realize how beautiful you are? Kind and intelligent and sweet and _perfect_. They cannot see it, though. None of them will ever know you as I do. Never need you the way I do."

"You need me?"

She had no idea. How is it possible? "You are everything to me. _Everything_. Do you not see it? Feel it?" I put her hand to my heart, counting down our last moments together with the clock. "There is so little time left. And when you leave me behind, I shall die from it."

"Edward—"

"It is true. I tried to… I forced myself away from you, but the pain was so unbearable…" I did not want to remember, but the memories came as I held her impossibly closer. "I am sorry. Bella, I never meant to hurt you so. I thought you would forget me. Hoped for it, because I saw it every time I looked at you, the pain and misery that reflected my own. I did not think you could care for me as I did you. And now I've wasted so much time. The hourglass is running out and I have to cherish each and every minute before you marry one of _them_. Then there will be nothing left of us."

"No, Edward, you must not think that. I told you, I am yours."

"Yes, I must, because you will not see it. When you marry, you will not be mine any longer. Your smiles and affections and kisses… all of them will be his. You will dance and laugh and bear his children… And I will envy him while you warm his bed and not mine."

"Please, Edward, do not say such things." Silent tears had begun to run down her cheeks.

"Why?" She did not answer. "Tell me."

"I do not wish to be with anyone other than you."

"Oh, but you will. He will woo you with words and gifts and make you fall in love with him. You won't have to hide and sneak around anymore, and everyone will see you together. I will be no more than a distant memory." It was a fact, all of it, and I did not understand what upset her so. My eyes felt heavy.

She buried her face in the crook of my neck, shaking her head as her hands clutched my shoulders. "Then take me away; let's leave. Run away. Just the two of us."

I chuckled, pulling her back to wipe away the tears. "Hmm. I think that I rather like that idea." My mind was beginning to lose consciousness as I held her closer again. "Where would we go?"

"Anywhere. As long as we're together, it does not matter."

"Mmm. Then you could be mine still." I smiled…I think. "Perhaps I _will_ steal you for my own. We can have all of those adventures that we imagined. I would marry you this very hour and we would ride away into the night, never think of this place or anyone else ever again…" I yawned, feeling her long fingernails glide along my shoulders. Yes. I would take her. How could I not, when she wished to go? I would want to get away from here, too, were I in her position. So it was settled then: Bella would be mine, forever. "Come away, love," I whispered, "Come away and marry me.

"Marry me, Bella."

"Okay." I could hear the smile in her voice as I drifted to sleep.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I woke up with a start, and a fervent wish to lose consciousness again as my brain pounded beneath my skull. I turned, quite leisurely, to see that it was barely dawn outside the window and abruptly noticed that we had slept in my room. Odd. And…where was my shirt?

Ever so slowly and silently I set about getting dressed, attempting to remember everything that had happened last night. There was the boring people and the horrible, unending toasts and dancing with my Bella, oh and the strange behavior of Princess Rosalie. I thought that I remembered coming up the stairs, but the memory is so blurred… Oh well. It was a good thing that my body had woken me up at least, since I noticed there was no alarm set.

I sat in the corner chair, watching Bella as I put my shoes on, and noticed the small smile upon her lips as she dreamed. I found myself also smiling at the sight. At least she had a good time. Finished with dressing, I bent down a kissed her forehead before departing, making sure to lock the door behind me.

My head was still pounding as I made my way to the dinning room and found some coffee. There was no one else in sight, and I wondered idly how long the King and Queen would stay in bed, for if my headache was any indication, theirs would be twice as worse.

I retrieved Masen and we set out to the barracks. Jasper seemed surprised to see me at first, smirking. "You look well."

I gave him a look. _Thanks_.

"Well, if you feel anything like my father surely does, then I suppose we should take it easy today. Come on."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

After a few hours I noticed that my mind was clearing and my exercises were really not all that bad despite Jasper supposedly being less demanding.

I actually felt …lighter, somehow. As if there was a weight that had lifted from my shoulders, though I did not know it was there. I was not sure why I felt that way, but it must have been the freedom I had experienced in having Bella beside me last night.

We continued through the drills until well past noon, and it was nearly sunset when I noticed one of Bella's maids running toward us from the other side of the field, frantic.

"Forgive me, Sirs, but I have an urgent message from the Queen. She cannot find the Princess Isabella, and she fears that she might have ventured out alone as early as late morning. No one seems to know where she's gone, and the Queen requests that you set out to find her this very moment, Mr. Edward."

I was already on my way.

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**A/N: *Ducks out of the way of angry readers* Don't be mad at me for Edward. Please? Bella's a smart girl, so don't worry too much! And next chapter it's the moment we've waited for… She's going to find out about Edward! (Well, sort of.)**

**On another note: over 100 Reviews and over 1,000 visitors in the past month? Holy Crow! YAY! Thank you, thank you so much to those of you who are always reviewing! And of course a big thanks to all of you who put this story in your alerts/favorites/C2s. Knowing that you're reading and enjoying this story definitely gives me a warm fuzzy feeling and makes me write all the more, so thanks! :D And because I feel so thankful, I've decided that every review for this chapter will receive a teaser of chapter 17! So please review, and if you review anonymously, and want a teaser, just make sure to give me an email address with your review. :)**

**Also, for those of you who don't know, CG now has a banner that I made, so check it out and let me know what you think. Edward's suit, Rosalie and Bella's dresses can also be found on my LJ as well as a picture of the training field (though it's not that great, just FYI. lol) **

**andrewsamy .livejournal. com (just remove the spaces)**

**Thanks again!**


	17. Venture

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Happy Valentine's Day! Sorry, this should have been up earlier today, but we weren't planning anything and then my hubby was being all sweet... Hehe. **

**Oh, and just in case you didn't know, Síla is Bella's horse. Picture of her is in the last LJ post. Enjoy!**

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Chapter 17 – Venture

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BPOV

My eyes were still closed as sleep slowly left me. I could hear him getting dressed, and I pretended that we were in our own little house, Edward preparing to go off to work for the day… A smile came unbidden as fantasies fluttered round my mind. He was watching me—I could feel it—but I dare not look and ruin my daydreams.

Edward had left long before I finally roused myself from thoughts of last night.

Obviously, I had never seen Edward in such a state, and though I had seen the repercussions of such indulgence in my parents, I must admit that I secretly wondered how terrible it would be to wish for another opportunity to see him as I did last night; wide-eyed, playful, with no reservations on his thoughts. It was clear, in the way he spoke to me, that the words Edward had spoken were those he carried in the depth of his heart and soul, the ones he felt he could not tell me without the courage of inebriation.

Nor had he ever been so possessive of me as he was with his kisses and words. I could not resist the opportunity to ask him why that was so, since I realized that he would answer so honestly.

_Everything_, he had said, I was everything to him, and he was terrified of the day I would…marry. I was not looking forward to it either. But Edward forced thoughts onto me that I had not dared think about, such as giving him up. My whole being had recoiled at the thought, tears coming from the images of what would happen to us, and I did the only thing I could: beg him to take me away. And he agreed. _He __asked __me __to __marry __him_.

The smile on my face was beginning to hurt my cheeks.

I know it was ridiculous, foolish even to entertain the idea that he would even _remember_ last night, let alone carry it out, but the words filled my heart and it was too late to quash the hope they gave me.

Knowing that he wanted the same thing that I did was incredible. I could hear the sincerity in his voice. All I had to do was somehow hint to him, make him realize that I am already willing to belong to him in that way and surely he will steal me away.

And we would at last be happy.

I finally made it back to my bedchamber, ringing the bell to dress and made my way down to breakfast knowing that today was far too important to stay in bed. Mother was in the dining room, slowly sipping coffee, looking miserable. I suddenly wondered what Edward felt like.

I sat, eating quickly and blissfully, wanting to be off when I looked up to see Mother watching me with a questioning expression. "You seem…happy this morning."

_Are __not __all __future __brides __happy?_ I wanted to say. "The sun is shining, the day is new, and life is beautiful." With that, I rose, kissing her cheek as I pretended not to notice her expression. I set out to my room then and called for Mrs. Stanley, giving her instructions to take my carriage to the library and give my note to Ms. Denali who should provide her with some very important books that I require for my…studies. She set out at that moment, knowing to return swiftly and leave them in my room, as I did not wish to be disturbed while I would be 'visiting with Rosalie.'

An hour later I had wrapped myself in a plain cloak and set out cautiously with Síla, making our way to the workhouse. Nervous butterflies filled my stomach as I passed through the main city; I had never been without an escort. _Get __used __to __it __now_, I thought. Edward would not be able to accompany me everywhere when we left all of this behind. Hopefully he would not be too angry with me for not telling him my plans. Perhaps I could distract him with whatever I would find out…

Perhaps I could even find his parents today.

I suddenly wondered what they looked like as Síla trotted down the forest lane toward our destination. Were they kind people? And if so, how is it possible they left Edward so rashly? Or maybe they did not, for what if they had perished somehow? Many children were sent to there for such reasons, but I had not even considered it for Edward.

My thoughts lingered on the various thoughts about Edward's family until I finally approached the gate and passed through to the large, brick edifice known as The Workhouse. The grounds were kept tidy, though the building itself seemed to be in a state of disrepair. I dismounted, tying Síla's reins off before I started, noticing belatedly that there was an old man watching me from beside the outer wall. He was hunched over, and barely taller than I stood with a wrinkled suit on, greasy wisps of white hair blowing about his head. His cold, gray eyes watched me with great caution before he smiled abruptly. "Forgive me for startling you, miss." He rasped in a voice that sounded as if he had enjoyed the pipe for much to long. "I am Mr. Higgins, the groundskeeper. May I assist you?"

I took a deep breath, fighting off the feeling of worry that griped me. "Um, yes. I wish to see the Matron of the house, please."

He stalked off after beckoning that I follow him inside.

It was rather bright outside this day, and my eyes had trouble adjusting to the change in lighting at first, but when they did I thoroughly wished that they had not. There were several small children, dirty and barely clothed sitting in nearly every room I passed. Many were sick by the looks of it, staring back at me with wide, frightened eyes as I walked by them. And they were all girls strangely enough.

The walls on either side of the hallway were stained with chipped paint and peeling wallpaper as I walked behind the groundskeeper, attempting to not let this horrid place affect me. Nor the smell. No wonder Edward barely mentioned his time here.

We stopped in front of an open door, where a woman was shouting at a young girl with yellow hair. She could not have been more than four years old.

_How __can __they __live __like __this?_

"…next time that I find you sneaking food, I'll throw you out on the street, you little thief. Understand?"

"Y-Yes, Mistwess," she lisped, tears rolling down her soiled cheeks as she ran out of the room once she was dismissed.

The groundskeeper cleared his throat.

"What now, Jim?" The woman asked in exasperation. "These little monsters are driving me insane."

"There's a visitor for you, ma'am."

She looked up, suddenly in a better disposition. "So there is," she smiled with false kindness in the most callous voice I had ever heard. I barely kept my emotions at bay as she shook my hand, dismissing the old man. The woman was older, perhaps in her early fifties, with muddy brown and gray hair tied into an immaculate bun on the back of her crown. Her clothing was simple, clean and too proper. "Welcome my dear," she said, gesturing to the seat in front of her desk. I realized belatedly that this must be some type of office for her. I sat as she introduced herself. "I am Renata, the Matron of this establishment, and humbly at your service, Miss…?"

"…Marie." There was something that told me not to tell her my true name, in any sense.

"Miss Marie. What can I do for you?"

I squared my shoulders and focused on what I needed to do. "I have come to inquire about one of the boys formerly in your…care."

The smile dissolved. "Oh?"

"Yes, he was here approximately eight years ago, and taken into employment for m—the King."

"Is there a problem that I should be aware of?"

"Oh, no, no." I laughed nervously. "I…was attempting to discover the reason he had been sent here, and was won—"

"Excuse me," she said, as if I had just insulted her, "but we do not keep such records of our former guests. I do not know why you have come here to trouble me so, but there is nothing I can do. I must ask you to leave."

She stood, going to the door and opening it swiftly. I rose, dejected and confused. "Very well, thank you for your time. I will see myself out." And with that I strode down the hallway, wondering why I had ever thought that this idea would work. Clearly that woman was insufferably rude, but she could have at least tried to remember something.

I had just made it out the door, into the fresh air again. The clouds had returned, as if following my mood.

"Psst." I turned to my right then and noticed a little girl motioning to me. It appeared to be the same one from earlier, who was being scolded. I walked to where she stood near the corner of the building. "What's your name?" She asked. I told her Bella, as I was not worried too much that she would give me away, "I'm Sara." She took my hand and led me out toward the foliage a few feet away.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"To see Wachel. She knows evwything!" She kept walking until we were quite a few paces into the trees when I noticed a small clearing, and in it, there were several young girls and boys playing about. But there was one girl who was older, with dark hair and tanned skin. She appeared to be at least my age, maybe even a few years older. Sara let go of my hand, running to her and whispered in her ear before waving to me. I did not know what to make of it.

The girl walked over to where I stood, holding Sara in her arms and watching me with distrust. "Hi. Name's Rachel."

"Hello," I said, my voice cracking in nerves. I still was not sure why I was here. I cleared my throat before replying, "My name is Bella." There was a long pause before I began to finally speak in an attempt to end the uncomfortable atmosphere. "Sorry, I did not mean to intrude, she just brought me here and I am not sure as to why."

She nodded, smiling suddenly. "It's okay. Really. I didn't mean to worry ya, but I've been around here a long time, and you never know if you can trust someone. But you seem all right…" She paused. "So, Sara here says you're lookin' for somebody?"

I nodded, "Sort of…"

"Well, like I said before, I've been around here for a while, so I might know whoever you're lookin' for. Too bad you didn't know to come here sooner," she laughed, "might have saved you a run in with the Old Witch. So… who is it?"

I smiled. Maybe she _could_ help me. "Oh, um, well… I am not sure you would remember, he was here about eight years ago."

She wrinkled her nose, "Well, the years don't make a difference, but if you're lookin' for a boy, I'm not sure I would know him, since we're not allowed to even be in the same room with the boys. Even here we really don't talk much. They stay on one side of the clearing and we stay on the other." She placed Sara down and watched her scurry away before returning her eyes to me.

"Oh." Hope, dashed twice in one day. "Do not trouble yourself then. I suppose I will just have to wait and let Edward tell me himself." I murmured the last part to myself before I turned to leave. But her hand came down on my shoulder, stopping me.

"Did you say Edward?" She asked. I nodded, looking back to her. "With green eyes and that funny, red hair?"

I could feel my eyebrows rise as a strange feeling began churning. "Yes. You do know him, then?"

She smiled. "Well, yeah! He was the nicest boy I've ever met. Often took care of the younger boys from what I could tell, and stole extra bread for us girls, and he always took the blame for the littler kids, no matter what they did, though he wasn't much bigger himself. We'd talk a little out here, where the adults don't think to look for us all. Edward would tell me he was so sick of being pushed around. See, he was really nice, but really angry, too. He'd always get in trouble on his own because of his temper since he hated being here… Always talked about getting out and finding someone, a friend he used to know, I think.

"Then he said he was going to work at the Palace after some fancy servant came here one day. Are you from there? You must be. You're too clean and nice looking not to be." I blinked in shock as I heard these things about Edward that I had never known.

"I, uh…Yes, I am…but…well," my mind was going a mile a minute, trying to figure out what to ask next, "do you know who brought him here? I was hoping to find Edward's family, but I was not sure where to look."

Her nose wrinkled again as she thought. "Hmm, not sure. He never said anything about them. Why don't you just ask him?"

"Well,…" I had not expected that, though it seemed an obvious question in hindsight. "I just…cannot."

Rachel narrowed her eyes at me before shrugging, for which I was grateful. "I guess you could go ask Ms. Elizabeth."

"Ms. Elizabeth?"

"Yeah, she's the one that brought him here. …I think. Comes by every so often to bring us cookies. She's a widow now, so I think she gets lonely. Her house isn't far, just up the road a ways."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Twenty minutes later I was standing in front of a small, white house attempting to figure out why I was actually here. Well, I knew _why_, I suppose: because I needed to know more. Rachel had been extremely helpful and I did not know how to repay her for assisting me.

It was so strange to hear of Edward being so brave and selfless, and at only eight years old. And it was not that hearing of his behavior surprised me, but just the idea of having to do that in the first place was awfully sad. I had never been more thankful that he was brought to me than I am at this very moment.

I walked up the stone path, preparing myself for whatever sort of disposition Ms. Elizabeth had, though the other girls seemed to speak fondly of her. I still was not sure what to say as I knocked on the door, waiting as I heard movement from within the tiny, charmingly old house, with flowers around it.

_Perhaps __Edward __and __I __shall __have __a __house __like __this __one_, I thought, wondering how soon it could be. I must have been concentrating too much on that thought, because I looked up to find a middle-aged woman with wrinkles and soft, light brown hair the color of caramels staring at me kindly as I stood on her porch, smiling like an idiot.

"Can I help you, sweetheart?" She asked, and I was relieved to hear only concern and kindness in her voice.

Sadly, it did not help to calm me. "Oh, yes. I-sorry to bother you, but I was told a Ms. Elizabeth lives here?"

"Yes, I am she. And you are?"

"I, uh…Bella. I—"

"Oh! What a lovely name! Well, come in my dear out of the rain before you catch cold." She turned around and held the door open for me to walk inside. _Well, __here __I __go_… The front room was small and cramped, with furniture forced close together and knick-knacks and other baubles lining the walls and end tables that sat on either side of a tiny sofa. The kitchen was just beyond this cozy little room and seemed to be just as confined. The whole house was restricting and overcrowded and…perfect. Like a storybook cottage.

"You have a charming home." I said as she sat with me at her small dining table.

"Oh, well, thank you. My husband, God rest him, built it with his own hands. It's not much, but I love it." She smiled again. "Would you like some tea?" Elizabeth asked, an expectant smile on her lips.

Resigned, I answered, hopefully smiling, "Yes, please." When Edward and I were together, tea would be forbidden.

She rose, going to fetch a teapot and a small tray of cookies. Elizabeth poured my tea, before going on. "Now then, what can I do for you, dear?"

I took a deep breath. _This __is __it._ "I have just come from the workhouse down the road, looking to find someone, and a girl there named Rachel said you would possibly be able to help me find his family."

Elizabeth looked at me a moment before nodding. "I do know many of the children that end up there, so I'll do my best, though I cannot promise you anything. Who's family have you been searching for?"

"His name is Edward?" I asked, watching to see if she remembered the name alone as Rachel did. When she made no response, I continued, "He has fair skin, green eyes, and copper-colored hair. He has been away for several years…" I trailed off as she nodded, but her eyes were darting about, as if watching for something. She watched me closely before shaking her head, as if to clear it.

"Yes, I remember Edward." She whispered, sorrow lacing her voice. "How could I not?" Her gaze turned toward the window beside us and became distant, as if she were looking upon a lost memory. Suddenly, her eyes turned back to me, narrowed. "And how do you know him? If you don't mind my asking."

I was taken back from the sudden change in her demeanor. Not to mention that I could feel my cheeks grow warm at the thought of attempting to explain what Edward meant to me to a practical stranger. "He is… I mean, we are… Edward is... very important to me," I finally finished. "I just wanted to know who his family is."

Elizabeth watched me carefully for a moment more before her hard expression softened once again. "I am sorry. It is just difficult to… Well, I better not get ahead of myself.

"I cannot tell you who his family is, because he was alone and lost when I found him."

"You...found him?" I asked, confused.

"Yes. It was years ago. He could not have been more than two or three years old. It was the late afternoon of a cold winter day in early February. Snow still covered the ground and I was down by the river that's a few hours walk from the house, the same stream that runs near the main road into the city. I was gathering some fresh water, as our own was out, when I heard a soft whimper coming from the nearby brush behind me. At first, I thought it was my imagination, but when I heard it again I knew that there was someone nearby.

"When I had finally found him, he was shaking like a leaf, unconscious, and with barely a stitch of clothing to cover him, the soles of his feet were cut open and bloody, as if he had been running through the snow for hours. If it were not for the movement, I would have thought him dead. Of course I picked him up without a second thought and brought him straight here. I was so frightened. I cleaned him up as best I could, noticing that there was a pendant with the name _'__Edward__'_ around his neck. I wrapped him up, praying that he didn't have a too severe a case of hypothermia and tended to him all night, as well as I could alone. My husband Robert, God rest him, was out on business at the time, not due to arrive home for two days.

"Anyhow, Edward finally awoke in the late morning and he was skittish as a frightened mouse. His coloring was a bit better, though he was clearly confused about his surroundings. He didn't speak, but I was able to get him to eat a bit of bread and some broth. I attempted to speak with him, ask him where his mother was—something that would tell me what to do. I could never have children of my own, and he was so small, as I said, only two or three. I had no idea what I was doing. Unfortunately, he did not answer, only shook his head, clearly not knowing any of the answers to my questions, the poor little dear.

"Robert came home the next day. I told him what happened, how I had found him. He was glad that I had rescued Edward, but could already see how I was becoming attached. My husband was not very fond of children, and as a practical man he knew we could not afford to keep him with us for long; only until he was well again.

"Two more days passed and Edward still did not speak to either of us. I wondered if he even could talk, but decided that he must be shy as I did hear his whimpers that day I had found him. He seemed to be much better—even his cuts were healing rather well. Robert had already gone into town to see if anyone had lost their son, but there were no notices of any such thing. I was hoping to hold onto him a few more days and perhaps figure out a way to keep him when…" She paused, pursing her lips as she shook her head.

"What?"

"It was early in the morning. Edward was eating some porridge across from Robert while I worked in the kitchen, when I heard him suddenly drop his spoon. I turned, seeing his green eyes go wide as he curled into a ball, shaking his head while his hands covered his face. 'What's the matter, dear?' I asked.

"We heard their horses coming up the path, then. Robert peered outside the front window as I carried Edward into our bedroom, telling him to be quiet as I closed the curtains. I was not sure why my instinct was to hide him, but I am glad I did it, for when I came back out, Robert was just opening the door to two large, muscled men in black robes. They must have been close to seven feet tall, with tanned skin and dark eyes.

"'Can I help you?' Robert asked.

"One of the men smiled at us, but it seemed…wrong, unnatural. 'Forgive the intrusion, Sir, Ma'am. My name is Samuel Uley, and I am in need of your assistance this morning. My partner and I have been scouting the area for a very young boy who seems to have gone missing in the past few days. An orphan whose parents were recently deceased. Have you come across any wandering children?'

"I could tell something was not right the moment I set eyes on them. The hard inflection in his voice only confirmed that I was right. They did not seem like they were searching for Edward because they cared for him, I just knew it. My husband seemed to be in agreement with my thoughts as he promptly shook his head at the man. 'Sorry, no. Have you seen anything, dear?'

"'No. And there's not anyone around for miles. Well, save for the workhouse down the road. Have you been there to look?' I asked, suddenly fearful that it was unsafe to take him there as we had planned.

"'We already have, Ma'am, but none of the children there were the one we are searching for.' His eyes darted around the house behind us, looking for any sign that we were not speaking truthfully to him. Thankfully, there was not anything to find.

"'Sorry we could not be of more use to you gentlemen,' Robert prompted when Mr. Uley continued to let his eyes wander.

"'Yes, well, thank you for your cooperation. Good day.'

"They left then, and as soon as I could no longer hear them I turned to my husband, pleadingly, 'Please, Robert, we cannot take that boy to the workhouse. Not now. Those men wanted him, but not for any good reason. We must protect him.'

"He shook his head before I had even finished. 'No, Elizabeth.' He told me, knowing how I could argue. 'No. I know you care about him, but this is not safe, for either of you. And I am not going to stand by and let you play mother to some kid who could be more trouble than he's worth.'

"I know it sounds harsh, but he was just looking out for me. He did not understand..." She sighed, shaking her head.

"I left him standing by the front door, to see how Edward was doing, but when I opened the bedroom door I gasped, nearly fainting at the sight before me. Edward—still curled into a ball—was…sitting in the middle of the room, with objects…f-floating around the space in circles." Elizabeth shut her eyes, clearly disturbed by the memory. "I… I watched in horror as he just sat there, rocking back and forth and speaking the first words I had ever heard him say… 'I want her,' he whispered. He said it over and over again while the small knick-knacks continued to circle the room.

"I felt Robert walk to my side, probably as shocked as I was. 'My God…' he said."

Elizabeth had tears rolling down her face as I watched her in shock. "We took him to the workhouse the next day. Even I couldn't argue with the decision. It was too frightening. I—I had never seen anything like it…"

I could not believe what I was hearing. Edward had—had _moved_ things, _suspend_ them in the air somehow. But…that could not be right. It was impossible. Wasn't it? "But… But, what had caused that? Whom was he asking for?"

"I don't know. I always assumed it was his mother. I was too shocked to even ask."

She went on to tell me how she watched him from afar after they had left him at the workhouse, visiting every so often to make sure those men had never come back to search for him. She had been scared of what had happened that last night with Edward, never knowing what kind of magic he seemed to possess. When she had heard of him going to live at the palace, she was happy for him, hoping that whatever path he was on would be for the best.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I left her home barely containing the heartbreak I felt. There was a part of me that wanted to be angry about the way she had left Edward in that horrible place.

Yet, I knew that if she had not, there was no way I would have ever met him…and I felt horrible.

Was it wrong that I would rather have him suffer that to be with me, then to wish he had never went through it?

Guilty tears finally traveled down my face, seeping out against my will as I made my way to the main road. I had spent most of the afternoon with Elizabeth, and I had to hurry and be home before I was missed. _If __I __was __not __already_.

I had travelled some distance when I happened to look toward the public library and noticed that there was a familiar carriage parked near it—mine.

_What __is __Mrs. __Stanley __still __doing __here?_ I thought. _She __should __have __been __back __at __the __palace __hours __ago_.

I made my way to the large building, glad for a distraction from my tumultuous thoughts. Perhaps I could yell at her for a change. The sun was already setting, and I knew that this place would be closing soon, just as all the shops would. The entry was rather dim as I made my way inside, noticing that there was not a soul in sight. I went to the reception desk, but it seemed that no one was around as I rang the small bell upon it.

"Hello?" I called out. "Is anyone there?" I waited, listening for sound, but there was none. I sighed. How was I supposed to return without the slightest idea where that daft woman was with my books?

I tried to think of why Mrs. Stanley would even want to hang about here when two strong hands suddenly covered my mouth and wrapped around my waist.

"It is about time you showed up, Princess."

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**A/N: Uh, oh! Bella can never just stay out of trouble, can she?**

**Hope you enjoyed finding out more about our favorite guy! ;) Pictures of the Workhouse, Elizabeth's house, and the library are on my LJ. Link on my profile still. **

**Hit that review button and show me some love by letting me know your thoughts! **

**And to my reviewer Elizabeth: your question last time was asking if Edward is some kind of warlock/witch, to which I have to tell you that I can't answer that one way or another because I don't want to give anything away accidentally if I say yes or no. Sorry I didn't answer sooner. :P And Thanks for the review. :)**

**I love you all!**

**Amy**


	18. Bemused

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**I am so very sorry for making you wait! For those of you who didn't know, I had Midterms last week and that totally encompassed my regular writing time, and then one of my good friends got their apartment broken into so I was consoling, and now I'm trying to play catch up with school and writing since the workflow hasn't let up. :P Ugh, excuses, excuses. **

**Thanks, as always, for your patience and sorry for the shortness! **

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Chapter 18 – Bemused

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EPOV

Her body relaxed once she heard my voice, then she promptly pushed my arms away and turned to glare at me. "Do not call me princess!" She hissed. "Do you have any idea what you just did? How much you terrified me just now?"

I did. My relief in finding her at last had turned to anger, and I decided to give her a taste of what she had put me through since there was no one around.

"Yes. And now you know _exactly_ what _I _have felt for the past three hours." I pulled her back to me. "Now, would you like to tell me where the hell you have been all day?"

I had not meant to speak so forcefully—or perhaps I did—but she was the one who had no idea how she had worried me. Especially when I had discovered that not only was her carriage missing, but that she had taken her horse out somewhere and not one person, specifically Michael, could give me any idea of where she went. Only that Mrs. Stanley had travelled out, and the Princess had followed an hour later—alone, unguarded.

Of course the library was my first choice, knowing that it was the most likely place she would venture off to. And I was calm when I noticed her empty carriage parked just beside the building.

The only problem was that she was nowhere to be found.

Inside the building were only a few scattered people. I thought about asking them if they had seen her, but decided against it for some reason. I looked high and low but still she eluded me. From there I turned back out and searched the whole of the city, attempting to figure out where she had gone. After all, her mare was still missing. Finally I had given up and decided to wait for someone to claim her carriage. If anything, the driver could tell me something.

But no one came for what must have been almost an hour. And I was helpless to think of another way to find her. Fed up with waiting any longer, I was about to begin searching again, when a cloaked rider trotted up to the edifice, and I knew it was she. The ache in my chest had all but vanished.

Now, I was waiting to hear the reproach she would deliver for scaring her.

"I…am sorry."

"Don't you—! ...Uh…what was that?" I must have heard wrong.

"I am sorry." She repeated and looked down, as if she truly meant it. Bella did not apologize for doing what she desired. Ever. So, what was this? The shock must have been written upon my face. Placing her hands on my chest, she continued, "I realize that you were worried, and it was selfish of me to simply leave you behind." Her hands came up to wrap around my neck as she embraced me. "It will not happen again. I promise."

"Bella, you are starting to worry me again. Why are you saying this?"

"I…guess I just, wanted you to understand that I care about you. That I realized what you have been through, and I am grateful to have you in my life. I will not leave you again." She looked so guilty saying those words.

"What—?"

Just then a dull noise rang out, as if a book had fallen. I realized that this was not the place or time to question her. "Come, we should be going. Your mother is worried sick." I said, escorting her to the door.

"No, I must find Mrs. Stanley, first. She was to collect some books to bring back to me, but it seems she is still here."

"She is not. Believe me, I would have found her. Besides, you are in enough trouble as it is, and I am not staying here a minute longer. Your maid can find her own way back. Now let's go."

I managed to pull her outside, but she stopped me just before we reached the carriage, saying that we should leave it for Mrs. Stanley.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

A little more than an hour later and we were riding past the palace gates. Bella had not said anything since the library, and I still had no idea why she was acting so strangely. I knew that it must have to do with where ever she had disappeared to, and I decided then that I am going to find out where, what, and why she decided to keep it from me.

Mr. Stanley met us at the main entrance and said that the King and Queen were awaiting us in the King's study.

_Great_.

Bella hesitated a moment, but then quickly led the way to where her parents waited. We stepped inside and the swirl of emotions were dizzying as I saw the Queen beside herself with grief before looking up to see us enter the room and running to pull Bella into her arms as the tears continued down her face. The King, however, seemed to be failing in the attempt to hide his concern and anger.

"Oh, my precious girl! I was so worried!"

"I am sorry, Mother, I—"

"Where have you been? And without Edward? Really, Isabella, you know now how dangerous it can be if you go out by yourself. I am sure you have not even properly thanked him for finding you." She turned to me. "Has she?"

"That is unnecessary, Your Majesty."

"No," Bella said stiffly, acting more like herself, and yet, not, at the same time. "She is right. Thank you, Edward, for coming to find me."

The King finally stepped forward. "Well, now that is settled, you may see yourself out. We would like to speak with the Princess alone."

"Of course, Your Majesty."

Bella seemed uneasy at the prospect of being left alone with them, but it could not be helped. I sent her an apologetic glance before retiring to my chamber. There was still half an hour before we were due to dine with Princess Rosalie and Emmett. If we _were_ still dinning, that is.

Frankly, I would rather cancel then be forced to make conversation for the rest of the evening. My current disposition had been compromised with the task of finding Bella, and I was unsure of my ability to be social. Especially since I wanted to know where she had been and, possibly more important, why she chose to not even mention it… Then I remembered what she had said to me just after she had spoken to Rosalie last night and I had suggested that Bella should spend the day speaking to her.

"_No, I cannot, I…" She paused, looking away. _

"_You, what?"_

"_I __have __to __catch __up __on __my __studies __or __Mother __will __pester __me __all __day __long.__"_

I thought it was odd that she would choose to study over visiting, but she had distracted me with the idea of a dinner to make Rosalie feel better. Now, it was painfully clear that she had not only omitted her plans, but also lied to me.

I wanted to be angry, but how could I be, when I was no better?

Regardless, it was still troubling. I had to know. Call it prying and meddlesome, but it was not like Bella to keep things from me, and as soon as I had her alone tonight, I would make her tell me.

A knock came at the door a moment later. I was surprised to see Bella on the other side of it. I searched the hall behind her.

"I am alone." Her voice still held that humble tone I had heard earlier.

"Oh."

A pause.

"Are you still angry with me?"

"I believe that conversation would be best left for another time."

She nodded, "Of course. I-I should have realized that."

Another pause.

"I would ask if you'd like to come in, but I do not think anyone would approve of it."

She smiled just a little then. "As if that mattered. No, I actually came to ask if you still wish to dine tonight."

"Yes, of course." I may have been troubled, but I knew how important it was to her.

"Good. Um…I suppose I shall meet you downstairs in a bit, as I have yet to dress for it…"

She turned away, still solemn, and I could not stand it. Bella turned again to look at me after I had caught her hand, silently pleading. She only smiled a little and shook her head, answering my unspoken question by giving my hand a gentle press, as if to say she was fine. I knew better, but as I had said, now was not the proper time, or place for that matter.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I dressed quickly and was greeted by Emmett… and Jasper.

"Edward! I was wondering when you would finally show up!" I wondered if he was this cordial all the time. It seemed to be so.

He came forward, slapping me on the back. "Yes, well, I was detained for most of the day."

"I'll say! That Princess of yours always go missing?" He asked me as he chuckled.

"Not usually," Jasper cut in. I was still wondering why he was even present. "Edward here must have frightened her away."

There was a tone in his voice that was quite unpleasant. I was about to ask what he was even doing here when another voice decided to comment.

"Or, perhaps I just enjoy the chase." Bella was not five feet away, smiling and beautiful, and obviously had heard Jasper's strange comment as she gave me a sly, knowing look.

_Indeed_, I thought, as I took her proffered hand, bowing. "Your Highness."

She turned and greeted Emmett before addressing Jasper again. "I did not expect to see you this evening."

"That would be my doing," Emmett spoke. "We met earlier in the day while you were…out, and I invited him to join us."

"I do hope that I am not intruding."

"Of course not." Bella said dismissively, though I disagreed. "I am always glad to see my friends. And speaking of which, where is Rosalie?"

"Here!" She said rushing into the dinning room, "So sorry I am late."

"Not at all, Edward and I have only just arrived. Not to worry," Bella replied, giving her a hug. "You look beautiful."

Rosalie seemed comforted with that fact and was introduced to Jasper before she timidly greeted me. "So nice to see you again Edward. I hope you will forgive my rudeness from last night." At least she seemed more at ease.

"On the contrary, there is nothing to forgive."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Dinner moved slowly, but comfortably—which may or may not have had to do with my sitting beside Bella. Much of the conversation was meaningless chatter—weather, health, family, and the like—until Rosalie decided to turn the conversation toward me.

"So, Edward, what about your family? What are your parents like?"

I felt Bella go rigid beside me, but I realized that she was genuinely asking out of ignorance, since she probably did not realize that servants in general did not have any cause to boast on this matter.

"I …cannot say. I never knew them." She did not look as surprised as I would have guessed. More…gloomy.

"I am sorry."

"Thank you, Your Highness, but do not trouble yourself. I only wish I had someone to shout at for giving me this hair," I said, running my fingers through the very mess to which I was referring.

Laughter rang out, thankfully dissipating the tension in the room.

"Well, despite the hair, I would not mind hiring you to watch my back," Emmett said, grinning. "From what I have heard, the idiot who attacked Isabella here is still far from recovering from beating you delivered."

Jasper chuckled, "Undeniably. Edward is the essential servant not one female should be without."

"He's not just a servant," Bella snapped then, clearly angered for some reason. I assumed it was due to the mention of my status, which was simply a fact, and though I had been resigned to it, I did not understand what direction she was moving toward with such a statement. Her eyes widened a bit as if she was unsure as well.

"Oh?" Jasper asked. I could feel every eye dart back and forth between us, but I too was waiting for a further explanation.

"What I mean is that he's a hero. I owe my life to him, and not because he's a servant."

There was a strained pause as everyone processed what had been said while our desserts were served. I was not sure if I should be happy that Bella stood up for me, or bothered that their comments were directed to each other, as if I were not even in the room.

Rosalie, once again, decided to start up the conversation.

"Well, I must say that I admire your bravery Edward. Isabella is fortunate to have you nearby." She smiled warmly.

"That is kind of you to say."

The rest of the evening discussion was led by Emmett, who was more apt in the art of avoiding uncomfortable speech than the rest of us seemed to be, for which I was thankful. Yet, I must admit my frustration when Bella decided that we should retreat to the drawing room, stating that it was much too early to retire.

Apparently eleven was now considered early.

A half hour later and I was somehow sitting at the Broadwood, playing one of Beethoven's piano sonatas while Jasper and Emmett were thoroughly engaged in a chess match and the ladies were speaking quietly. I did not even know why I was still here. Surely they could get along with out me, and Bella would not argue as Rosalie and I had now spoken properly.

I must have been quite focused on making a decision because I did not notice at first that Rosalie had come to stand beside the instrument. Bella was now watching the others.

"You play beautifully."

"Thank you," I replied, continuing into the next movement. "Do you play, Your Highness?"

She smiled, looking down to her clasped hands. "No. Um, my mother attempted to instruct me when I was younger, but I do not possess the talent for it, or the patience, for that matter."

I stopped playing. "Your mother?"

She laughed then at my confused expression. "Isabella had the same reaction. Apparently not learning from a tutor is a novelty around here. But, yes, my mother loves music. Or did, rather. She does not perform much any longer… I am sorry, here I was attempting to speak to you without insult this time, but—"

"No, no, not at all. Believe me, I do not offend easily. And besides, I did ask." I smiled before turning back to the piano, continuing where I had left off.

Rosalie nodded after a while. "I suppose you did." A pause. "Well, I suppose the weather is always a safe topic."

'True, but a short one, as there is not much to be said on the near constant rainfall."

She shook her head. "I cannot fathom being in this gloom consistently. Isabella and I are still attempting to convince her father that it would be all right to stay with us and the sunshine. I barely stand it myself in these short visits."

I nodded. "You get used to it, I suppose. Though there _are_ the rare, sun-filled moments, such as this morning."

"Ah. Well, I am sure she delights in that, at the very least."

"She does…" My fingers faltered as I realized what I just said. "Uh, I mean, I would suppose so, since she often speaks as such."

Rosalie's lips pursed as she took in what I had said, and I wanted to slap myself for speaking so carelessly in front of her. But then she simply shrugged and nodded, smiling. It was…odd. Had she really not thought anything of it?

"Well, I suppose I should be off to bed now." She said, stepping back. I stood, taking the hand she offered me. "It was a pleasure to speak with you, Edward. Truly."

"And you also, Your Highness. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

We all decided to retire then, and I was finally going to get my answers from Bella.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

We were lying in her bed, and she had yet to tell me anything.

"So?"

"So what?"

"I am still waiting for that explanation."

She sighed. "Can it not wait?"

"No. I have waited for hours now, Bella. Where did you go today?"

"I do not wish to tell you."

"Why ever not?"

"Because… I'm afraid you will be angry with me."

I wondered what she could have done that would cause me to be angry. Then I realized why she would say that as my eyes turned back to her, remembering what we had spoken of weeks ago; she realized that I had figured it out. "Why Bella? Did you hope that I would not find out? You know that I—"

"I know, and I am sorry." She buried her face into my neck.

"You should be. Sorcery is dangerous, you cannot go looking for trouble like that."

"W-What?"

"Do not play the simpleton now. I told you that there is no way we could discover the reason your hand has healed so strangely. There is no point in putting yourself at risk to find out."

Bella pulled back, watching me for a moment before nodding slowly. "You are right." She rested her head once again, though she was anything but relaxed.

"It is all right, but please, do not do that again. I could not bear it if something happened to you, love."

"I won't."

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**A/N: Okay, so here's the latest news: **

**Here's the piece of music Edward was playing during his interlude (haha) with Rosalie. This is the first of three parts, so listen to them all if you can, cause it's a great work!**

**www. youtube .com/watch?v=3zOv76GMLbU (just delete the spaces)**

**Forgot to ask last time, did you want me to continue with the teasers in my replies? Or would you rather just wait for the whole chapter?**

**Once again I am so sorry for the wait! (Go ahead and yell at me in your review. lol.) I'll work extra hard to get 19 out fast, but please be patient as I have classes, projects, in addition to this story. Oh, and did I mention I'm in a play? LOL, yeah, there's that, too. _The__Reluctant__Debutante_. But it's only a small role, so no worries. :) Thanks for sticking with me! **

**Amy**


	19. Transgression

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**WARNING! A bit of character death mentioned. :/ Please proceed carefully if that subject bothers you at all.**

**Previously,****on****Crown****Games:**Edward thought he had figured out why Bella had taken off on her own: because she was trying to find out more about sorcery (though he was wrong), and made her promise not to go anywhere without him again.

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Chapter 19 – Transgression

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BPOV

My fault.

It was entirely my fault.

But, how could this happen? It did not make sense.

Edward had said that going out alone was dangerous. Since my 'disappearance' two days ago, he had taken every opportunity to remind me of it; people were not to be trusted. I thought he was exaggerating.

I was wrong.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_**Two days ago…**_

Last night I had promised Edward that I would not leave without him again. I had also allowed him to think that I had been seeking out more information on the magics of the world. It was wrong to let him believe that, but I still could not bring myself to tell him of my true purpose for venturing out yesterday…

There came a knock at my door suddenly, though it was still early in the morning. Edward had only just left a moment ago.

One of my girls, Angela, came in. "Forgive me, my lady, but the King has requested your presence at this very moment," she said helping me into my robe and slippers hastily.

"Is something the matter?"

She pursed her lips nervously before replying, "I do not know for certain, Your Highness, but I fear that His Majesty is angry for some reason."

I swallowed, an anxious sensation rising in my stomach…

.

.

.

"Are you going to tell me what this is?" Father demanded, gesturing to the three volumes of large books, muddy and torn, weighing down the corner of his desk.

I now realized why Mrs. Stanley was not the one to wake me this morning, and I had a sinking feeling that she had finally returned and snitched on me about the historicals I had asked her to retrieve. Father had probably given her leave for a few days as a reward.

I looked down without answering, toying with a loose thread on my robe and probably looking every bit a petulant child as I sat in front of the desk, but I cared little. It was not as if he did not keep things from me as well.

He continued to wait for my answer, while Mother was sat in the corner, attempting not to cry, though I did not understand why this would trouble her so.

Finally, Father shook his head in exasperation. "This is utterly ridiculous, Isabella. I cannot even begin to understand who you are. You ride into town, _alone_, without an escort, and without telling anyone where you have gone; you send poor Mrs. Stanley to retrieve _these_," he pointed to the historicals with disgust, "knowing very well that I have forbade this knowledge in my kingdom and our home because it is dangerous; and to finish, you spend the rest of your time entertaining the notion that all of this is acceptable behavior. And now others have suffered for it. I do not know what to think of all these intrigues."

His speech was delivered with condescension and anger, and I had had enough of them treating me like a child.

"You should be proud, considering that I learned from you. Both of you."

"You hold that tongue young lady. I have nearly reached my limit, and will have no more of your sass." He paused taking a seemingly calming breath. "Explain yourself now, Isabella. Unless you would like to further your punishment."

"Punishment?" Oh, _please_. What would they do? Nothing.

"Yes. You are restricted to the grounds, unless you would like an addition."

Was that supposed to be threatening? There was only one way I would explain, and it was not up for negotiation…though I did decided to be diplomatic about it. There were several reasons for attaining the knowledge of those historicals, but I began with the most simple to gage a reaction.

"Very well, Father, I will make you a deal: I will tell you all the reasons why I wanted those books, but first you must tell me about the boy."

Father looked confused. "The boy?"

"Yes. The one you and King Carlisle were sparring over when I was an infant?"

I watched them both carefully. Both my parents clearly knew what I was speaking about; there was no question. I _knew_ they had been keeping _something_from me; this must be at least some part of it. He and Mother shared an uneasy look and I could tell they were wondering where I had heard this. Of course, I knew better than to tell them.

"Precious," Mother began, "what exactly have you heard about… this boy? And from whom?"

"Only what I have told you, and I will say no more until I have an answer." I wanted to tell them that I also knew about the twins who had passed away, but I feared they would think Rosalie had something to do with my fascination on the Cullens…

But could my guess be right? Did the kings have an argument over the lost prince of Londra? Or was there another boy?

I watched all of their reactions carefully, still waiting for my answer. I had the feeling, though, as time continued to pass silently, that I was still not going to receive one. Especially once Father began shaking his head with pursed lips, his anger rising as he paced the floor.

"This is what you risk your life for? Rumors and presumptions! Clearly, I have allowed you too much freedom."

"Charles—"

"No, Renée. A child does not question and deceive their own parents, Princess or not. This foolishness ends here." He turned back to me. "Rules and order; this is what has been absent from your vain existence, but I will not allow it anymore.

"From now on, you will continue your studies and do only as your mother and I say. You will not step foot outside these palace walls without your Guard, and will have no more _guests_ in this place. Furthermore," he said, coming to stand over me, "your only social function henceforth is to find a husband and secure your future place on this throne, or I shall choose someone for you. Is that understood?"

I wanted to scream and yell, and tell him exactly what I thought of his completely useless and foolish rules. Instead, I pursed my lips, holding back the tirade of anger and simply answered, "As you wish." I rose from my seat, making my way to the door, knowing that it would not matter in the slightest to argue. I knew where my inheritance of stubbornness came from.

"Sweetheart, where are you going?" Mother inquired.

"Why, to tend my duties." I replied, sweetly. "First, I shall send for Edward, as I planned to have a walk in the garden this afternoon, and cannot possibly be trusted to go even that far alone. Then, go and dress properly so I may go inform Rosalie and Emmett that our hospitality has run dry because of _ridiculous_ preconceptions. I suppose my marriage will just have to wait until those tasks are completed. That is, with his _Majesty__'__s __Grand __Permission_."

"But, you must—"

I did not let her finish as I strode heatedly from the room. Nor did I care to listen to any more lectures or restrictions. I nearly screamed in frustration before I realized that Edward was standing in front of me, just outside the doors. His hands were in tight fists at his sides. It seemed he was angry as well. Had he heard us?

"What are you doing here?"

He bowed before answering, "Your Highness, the King sent for me before I left this morning and asked me to wait as I might be needed." Yes. Definitely angry. So Father must have told him already.

"Oh?"

"Yes." He whispered. "Apparently you neglected to inform me on what _exactly_ you sent Mrs. Stanley for."

Edward seemed to be struggling. It looked like he was restraining himself. From what I was not sure, but there was tension in every movement. He began to walk away, and I followed him to the empty sitting room down the hall.

The moment the door had shut, he seized my shoulders and pressed my back to the door. Before I could ask what he was doing, his lips were on mine—harsh and urgent—and my mind had gone blank. My body was already responding to his with my fingers coiled around his collar, holding him closer.

It could only have been seconds before I was forced to turn away, breathless, and trying to remember…something.

Edward's lips continued their assault towards my throat. "Never again." He growled against my skin. "You _will __not_ go anywhere without me…" Still kissing. "Ever. Say it. _Say __it_."

But before I could even think to answer—to comprehend his words—Edward had covered my mouth with his again. Desperately, longingly…and yet, still livid. "I won't lose you." His fist hit the door beside my head. "Death first." The next second, I gasped as his fingers wrapped around each of my thighs and lifted me into his arms. My legs went around his waist as he continued to crush me between the door and his body, kissing me still. Why was he so passionate?

Every part of my body felt hot. As if I were burning. No, _he_was burning me, everywhere we touched. It was driving me mad. I did not know if I should make him stop, or plead for him not to.

"_Tell __me_." He whispered, breathing harshly in my ear. _Tell __him __what? __Think__…__think!_

I said the only words that came to mind, only a small comprehension of what I was saying, "…y-yours. I'm—I'm yours." It was the only words I could speak before my head was clouded again with the feeling of Edward's lips on my own. Less urgent this time, but still wanting… We kissed until he slowly stopped and then rested his forehead against my own, both of us attempting to breathe normally once again.

He held me tightly for another moment before I was placed back on the ground, Edward's face buried in my hair. My body recoiled from the loss of his touch until his fingers firmly seized my hair and waist. He was shaking.

"Edward? What… Are you all right?"

He took a deep breath before leaning back enough to look at me. The anger was gone now in his eyes, and replaced with trepidation. "Sorry. I suppose I was just…overwhelmed with what I had learned from your father. Waiting to see you did nothing to assist the matter… How could you be so careless, Bella? The Cullens are a curse to the people of this kingdom, you cannot go inviting it here when there are so many of your people who are superstitious and abhor them." He touched my face softly, as if I were nothing more than a porcelain doll.

"I know," I said, regretful for not telling him as I should have.

He scoffed. "Did you? Then why did you not share that caution with Mrs. Stanley?"

"Well it matters little now since she has decided to tell everyone."

"Tell everyone?"

"Yes, of course."

Edward's expression turned from worry to perplexed to some kind of realization before he told me what I had truly caused.

"Bella… Did they not tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

He hesitated. "Mrs. Stanley…is dead."

I stood there, at first not comprehending his words, then disbelieving them. "No. No she is not." I pushed away, walking further into the room, trying to figure out why he would say that. It could not be so. I began to pace the floor.

"Bella…"

"Stop it, Edward. That is ridiculous. How could she be dead when Father has those books?"

"Bella—"

"There was no sign of her in the library. You know that. She's probably just run off. Sick of working here." I nodded to myself, though I knew that it was even less possible. Her family was here. "And what about Mr. Stanley? Jessica?"

He took hold of my hand, forcing me to stop. "They already know."

I shook my head. "But…but, how? There was no one even there!"

It was Edward's turn to shake his head. "I do not know. When they found her…" He stopped.

"What? What happened?"

"I am not sure I should tell you…"

"Just spit it out," I snapped.

After giving me his trademark look of disapproval, he finally told me. Father had sent out a party when I had reported that Mrs. Stanley appeared to not have come back…. She was found behind the library, beside a young woman, the books in her hands. Both their throats were cut open…there was blood everywhere in the street. I could only imagine that the other woman must have been Carmen. She had written that she feared for her life, but this…this was madness.

"Shh, love." Edward whispered, brushing away the wetness from my cheeks that I did not even notice was there. "Please, do not cry."

But how could I not? At that moment I finally realized why Father had been so stern, why Mother was weeping…even the reason for Edward kissing me so fiercely: it could have been me, found cold and lifeless in a pool of blood.

I wept all the more as guilt and shame began to rise in my chest, threatening to suffocate me. Edward eventually led me up to my room, handing me off to Angela, who assisted me to bed.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The tears came more swiftly without Edward to keep them subdued. I spent the rest of the day in the cloaked darkness of my room, letting the guilt consume me. Angela sat close by and tended to me as I slipped in and out of consciousness, awaking from cruel dreams of shadow and fear. Images of being there, watching helplessly as a dark figure dragged Mrs. Stanley into the night.

I screamed, tossing and turning away from the sudden feeling of hands on my arm.

"Isabella! Precious, wake up. Wake up!"

I allowed my eyes to flutter open to see my mother, worry and fear in her features as she sat beside me, pressing a cool compress to my head.

I reached for her, embracing her with what strength I had. "I am sorry. So sorry, Mother. I did not know—I did not mean…I—I—" I did not know what to say and sorrow began to close over my throat once again.

She held me awkwardly as I struggled to speak. I had never been granted this much affection from her, but without Edward here I had no other outlet to for it, and so I pressed myself closer, wishing that what had happened was not true. Wanting to take it all back and never ask Carmen for those books in the first place…never have Mrs. Stanley go…

_Why?_ I asked myself over and over again. She was a servant… An innocent woman. It was true that I cared little for the way she was stern and judgmental towards my more immature actions. But I would never wish death upon her, or anyone.

Mother did her best in attempting to console me with pats on the back and stroking my hair, but it was not enough. I needed my Edward.

I attempted to collect my emotions in the hopes I could be left alone to wait for him. Mother insisted I take a sedative before she left me be, and finally I was without company. Though, I realized belatedly that it was a somewhat frightening choice, as my eyes looked to the dark corners where the small light of the bedside lamp did not reach. I held myself against the headboard, too frightened to move, until he came.

Thankfully, it was not long before I could feel his proximity, turning to watch his entrance through the hidden door and to my side. My body felt tense and heavy as he encircled me in his arms, letting the sensation of safety wash over me as he once again kissed me softly until I fell asleep…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The funeral was two days after her passing. Most of my grief seemed to be taken that first day, and now I watched with melancholy as the Reverend spoke prayers and words of comfort over the casket that could have been my own.

So quickly, so easily, her life was stolen away.

It made me realize that I had neglected to see her as the person she was. With a life, hopes, dreams, fears, thoughts of the future, ones that would never be realized now…

Father had given Mr. Stanley and Jessica some great deal of money, and a home in the countryside; because their family had served us so well, Father had decided to retire Mr. Stanley, at his own request, and give them a place away from here.

I did not blame them for wanting to leave, nor for the angry stares that Jessica had given me during the rare moments when she could stand to look in my direction.

Edward was right, as I had said before; the world was dangerous. People were not to be trusted. This was my fault, and she knew it, just as I did.

Of course, everyone had tried to say that that was not so. Even Rosalie.

Apparently, during the time I had been a slobbering mess two days ago, Edward had told her of what happened on my behalf, I suppose it was sometime in between pacing outside of my bedchamber door nearly all day and night.

Father had allowed them a few extra days to stay, due to my fragile condition, or so I am told. Another task Edward had taken upon himself to ask for me.

Rosalie watched me with a questioning expression when I had finally laid eyes on her again, during the services, but had yet to ask why I had wanted to learn more about her family's history.

We were walking amongst the daisies in the garden now; Edward was trailing back some distance, watching and following respectfully.

"Rose…"

She shook her head. "No, Bella. Do not tell me. And do not apologize, either." She said, taking my hand. "I imagine that you did not wish to tell me for a reason. I understand. Truly, I do. My own father and mother have kept things from me, just as I am sure yours do also. Yet, I do not possess the courage to seek knowledge on my own as you do." She smiled a moment before turning serious again. "But please, be careful in the future, Bella. I do not wish to see your life ended so cruelly…or so soon." She stopped a brief moment and kissed my cheek before continuing our walk.

"I will be careful." I agreed. "I mean, despite the fact that I am to be within the sight of someone at every moment for the rest of my life."

We both turned back to glance briefly at where Edward was, still several paces behind us, watching carefully. I hated that he was forced to watch my every move, but secretly I was grateful for his proximity. It made me feel safe, protected.

As I turned to face forward again, I noticed that Rosalie had, once again, a small smile upon her lips.

"What are you smiling at now?"

She shook her head, "Nothing." Yet it remained as we continued forward, teasing me.

"You cannot smile like that and have nothing on your mind, Rose. I know you."

She turned to look behind us once more, I guessed to make sure Edward was still far enough not to hear what she would say before answering me. "I can see why you favor him," she subtly nodded to indicate the boy behind us, "kind, lighthearted, and quite sweet, from what I have found in my limited experience of speaking with him."

"Oh?" I was not sure why she would speak of Edward at this moment, except perhaps, because she had yet to tell me what she thought of him since we had dined together. Or to continue lightening the mood around us. Either way, it was still it was an odd choice.

"I just noticed…" There was a long pause as I watched her struggle to speak to me. It was a strange occurrence.

"Yes?"

"Do you ever notice the way he watches you?" She whispered.

I gave her a skeptical look. Edward did not look at me in any way but the usual when we were not alone. And as for watching me, well, it was his duty. "Is it anything like the look I am giving you now?"

"No. Be serious. I am attempting to be a good friend and caution you on something important."

"And what is that?" I continued in a hushed tone, matching hers.

"Well… Surely there is some better way of saying this, but I think you should be careful around him."

"Careful?" I asked, to which she nodded. "Of what?"

She turned to look at Edward again before returning her eyes to my face, "Of unknowingly encouraging him."

"Rose, you are making less and less sense every moment."

She sighed. "Oh, Bella. Can you really not see that Edward is…_in__love_with you?"

"No, he is not," I answered impulsively. I wondered if I should be worried about the way Rosalie had noticed our connection, but for some reason it did not matter. Besides, she had clearly misapprehended what kind of love Edward and I shared. We knew better than that.

"Oh? And how can you be so sure?"

"I just am."

"Well, stay on your guard, dear one, because I have seen that look before. It is just the same when Emmett stares at me, or when my father stares at my mother. Not to mention how he speaks of you as if you were more than just his charge. He is smitten, and even the slightest encouragement is dangerous."

I scoffed at her attempt to persuade me. "Love is a dangerous thing in itself, anyhow. It is true that you are one of the lucky ones to find real happiness in love, but I have read enough and witnessed enough to know that romantic love it is a cruel, painful, and even torturous thing that only causes heartache."

And that was undoubtedly true. Romeo & Juliet, Lancelot & Guinevere, Tristan & Isolde, Paolo & Francesca, and so many others… All of them loved deeply and ended up living—or dying—in misery, forever separated from their so-called beloved. I could never understand why anyone would choose that kind of life. Obviously there were the exceptions who were blessed enough to find someone worthy, like Rose and Emmett. But even my own parents, who have never shown any form of romantic love for each other, confirmed my theory with the way they show their contentedness in life. When I had discovered this to be the true nature of being _in__love_, I made certain in my mind that I would never allow myself to love like that. Edward had agreed with me, and so we made an agreement to never fall in love with anyone, ever, lest we be forced apart by the madness it causes. What Edward and I shared was platonic and grew out of our friendship, not some fantastic phenomena.

"Despite your unfoundedly bitter remark, I fail to see your point."

"The point is that you are wrong. He…barely knows me."

"It does not matter, Bella! Besides, he knows enough to obviously feel things. Mankind is shrouded in the primitive ways. And men are the most terrible, especially when they want something. Or…someone."

"Oh, stop that. Do you really believe in those old tales about our origins? They are just silly stories made up by the ignorant people of long ago."

"They are not, Bella; that is what you do not understand. Believe me, you will know it when you finally choose someone to be with. Emmett, for example, can barely contain his desire to kiss me when we are alone—"

"Rose!"

"Oh stop blushing. It is nothing indecent, just a stolen moment here or there when my maid is not paying attention, and he is a perfect gentleman. Besides, I am certain he will propose when our courtship is through and Emmett is an honorable man, so what is the harm?"

I realized that I could say nothing in return. Especially with thoughts of Edward's kisses invading my mind. This conversation was beginning to force me into thinking about the questions for which I still had no real answer to. Still, I was curious enough to wonder...

We sat on one of the benches, still a good distance away from where Edward now stood before he began retreating a bit to allow us some more privacy.

"Rose," I said nervously biting my lip as I watched him for a moment, "may I ask you something?"

She looked at me curiously, "Of course. Anything."

"What is it like… I mean, how do you feel when you kiss him?"

Rose smiled dreamily. "It is…wonderful. Kissing Emmett is like watching a coming storm from the window. Exciting, frightening…and you never know what it will be like this time because each experience is different." She laughs. "My stomach is always in knots and my heart feels as though it will burst through my chest every time, without fail. It's an amazing feeling, Bella."

I smiled, knowing it was similar to what I felt with Edward, and yet, different all at once.

"It was that first kiss that made me realize that I loved him," she continued, "that we were perfect for each other. Mother told me that she and Father knew the same way. We Cullens are very good in making decisions."

"You mean your father and mother…?" She nodded and we both laughed.

So maybe kissing was not so taboo as it appeared to be. Still, I knew it was strange to feel like this when it came to kissing my best friend.

So what did it mean?

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**A/N: Ooh, miss Bella is in a bit of denial, no? haha.**

**So first things first… I'M SORRY! RL has been kicking my butt the last few weeks and I apologize for making you wait so long! (This chapter wasn't easy to write, either.) But please know I will NEVER abandon this story! Promise. I HATE it when authors do that, so please know I would never do that to you guys. Some chapters just take longer to get written, and it sucks for all of us. :P**

**Thanks for sticking with me friends! See you in two weeks. *Hopefully!***


	20. Stirring

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Once again, I must give many, many apologies to you all. In the last few weeks I moved, finished three finals and for some reason AT&T messed up our Internet, so we've been without for a while. :S Please read A/N at the bottom! Thanks!**

**Oh! And special thanks to Siren of titan for keeping on me about updates :) Thanks for the pushes friend! You rock!**

**Last****time,****on****Crown****Games:** Bella and Rosalie had a talk after Mrs. Stanley's funeral, and Bella refused to believe that Edward was in love with her… and what about all that kissing?

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Chapter 20 – Stirring

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EPOV

As I watched them from afar, I knew I had made the right choice in asking for Rosalie to stay a while for Bella's sake. Whatever Rosalie was saying seemed to give a bit of distraction, and I was grateful to see Bella genuinely smile once again, even if it was only a little bit. It had been such a struggle, watching her wallow in guilt and confusion at this loss. Not that I understood it either.

I had never particularly spoken with Mrs. Stanley, but she seemed to be a caring and concerned person, despite Bella's insistence over the years that she was more of a snitch than a servant. Nor did I know anything about the girl they had found beside her, Carmen. How could someone do this to innocent people? Neither of us would wish such a brutal murder on anyone. Whoever had brought this on deserved the most severe of punishments.

This was the information I sought out from the King, but he did not seem as angry as I, nor as concerned about finding those who were responsible. _Too __many __possibilities_, he had said. _Whoever __it __was __could __have __simply __wanted __to __lash __out_. I suppose it made sense to a point, but still… How can he not be concerned? Especially with the idea that his daughter could have been the one who… Anyway, it was clear that they did not care for class or station as Mrs. Stanley was wearing the royal servant's colors.

The whole affair did not make sense in the slightest. Something…was strange here. Perhaps the King thought there were higher priorities, but I did not agree. I wanted to find the culprits, make an example of them so that no one would even attempt such a foolish act ever again.

Yet, I knew better than to attempt anything on my own. So the issue would just have to be dealt with at another time. Bella was my first priority.

She seemed to be better when we were finally able to retire for the evening, though still a bit skittish.

The past few days had turned cold and Bella was shivering while I held her in my arms as we sat in front of the fireplace in her chamber. "Did you have a nice time with Rosalie today?"

She nodded, but it was an absent motion. Thoughts occupied her attention as she stared into the flames, watching them sway and flicker.

"Are you tired, love?"

Her attention snapped to me suddenly. "What?" She seemed…suspicious?

"I…was just asking if you wanted to sleep now."

She bit her lip as she watched me for a moment, before nodding.

I stood, helping her up off of the rug while she continued to watch me. "Edward? You would tell me if… I mean, you're not…?"

"What?"

"Never mind. I am sorry. Just forget I said anything—"

"No, Bella. Tell me; what's troubling you?"

She bit her lip, again, nervously staring at the floor. "Nothing, really. It is just that… Well, Rosalie said something earlier, and it made me wonder about…us."

Rosalie? "What did she say?"

"Never mind it. It does not matter anyhow."

"Clearly, that is not true if it bothers you, Bella. Please tell me."

She could tell now that I was not going to let this go. Especially if it bothered her so much.

"She simply thought that you…cared for me. I mean, more than you should."

Oh. I let out the breath that I did not realize I was holding. "And you are worried she might have guessed something about us?"

"…Yes."

"I am sorry. Rosalie does seem to be perceptive. Perhaps I should have been more careful while she was here. But I have just been so worried about you. I hate to see you in any kind of pain. It was not my intention to let my guard down so carelessly."

"I know. I am not sure why it troubled me. Let's just forget it. Please."

"If you are sure, then all right."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The next few months brought healing and acceptance to Bella and everyday she acted more and more like herself. It was the first instance where I was thankful for time passing. Yet, there was still a…peculiarity in her behavior. There were times when she seemed anxious around me. But I could not figure out the cause for it. Nor would she tell me; the one time I had broached the subject with her, she denied my claims and said that I was the one who had been acting strangely.

My guess was that her behavior had much to do with being stir crazy in the palace for so long without anywhere to truly be herself. Since the King had confined Bella to the palace, she was not permitted to attend any sort of social gathering outside of its walls—much to the horror of her mother. Bella did not seem to mind at first, but within a few weeks, she was quite frustrated with the idea of not even being allowed to walk in the gardens alone.

Her fifteenth birthday was only a few days from now, and I planned to change that.

Right now my focus was on the soldier in front of me. Watching for the moment I could take him down and win the match. I had advanced in my training with Jasper quite a bit, and was now working in the training circles with the King's soldiers. It was peculiar how well I did against each opponent. These men were the best in the land, and yet they seemed weak, slow, and even clumsy on occasion. I could pick out their weaknesses with only a cursory glance, anticipate their moves before they made them.

I had yet to be bested. Which made me the envy of some and the rival of others.

I took down my opponent in only a few minutes, and was surprised to see the number of others who were standing about the circle, watching, paying out bets, and staring me down.

Jasper was quite smug in my abilities. Of course, he had yet to challenge me himself.

I cleaned up and made my way back to the palace. There was still light out and I was thankful for getting the chance to get back before Bella was troubled by the darkness. Ever since the loss of Mrs. Stanley, Bella did not like to be alone in the dark. She often sat at in the window seat of her room where the moonlight soothed her unease. There were times she sat in front of the fireplace, but only the rare nights when clouds covered the moon. It was only when I was with her that she would be able to move from the light and feel safe enough to lie in bed. Even the secret passageway was almost too much for her now.

This was another reason I pleaded with the King to allow a short horse ride for her through the countryside. Eventually he allowed it when the Queen spoke up, saying that their daughter should have some reprieve from this imposed isolation.

Everything was set, I just had to take care of one more detail: getting Bella to agree without giving anything away.

She was not particularly fond of riding, though she did like the idea of seeing the sun. Fortunately for us, the near constant cloud cover dissipated that morning, leaving a clear, bright blue sky for us to enjoy as we set out in the early hours.

I led Bella toward the country road before turning off of it and making my way into the encroaching forest.

"What are you doing?" She asked. "You do see that the road is this way?"

"Yes."

"Well?"

"I said we were taking a ride, but not that we were going that way. So, come on."

Bella hesitated a moment, before slowly following me into the trees. It was slow trot through the forest, but I could already see the way it affected Bella as she watched the sunlight stream through the branches, letting her fingers glide along the bark of a nearby tree now and then. She barely noticed when we had stopped moving, until I began to dismount and tie Masen to a nearby sapling before doing the same with Síla.

"We are stopping here?" She looked around at the crowd of trees that surrounded us in confusion, but I smiled.

"Not exactly." I said, helping her to the ground and watching as she became even more perplexed. I reached for the blanket and satchel from Masen, and then took Bella's hand as we walked forward, stepping through the trees into the meadow—our meadow—where the grass grew tall and the wild flowers were in full bloom, where we used to sneak off to and play for hours. We had never come from this backward direction before, which is why I knew she would not realize where we were too soon. Her face lit up as she took in the scenery, and I could not remember the last time she had smiled so brightly. "Happy Birthday."

"Edward, this is…" Her voice caught as her eyes drank in the view.

"I know. Come on." I took her hand and led her over to the shade where I laid the blanket out and set the satchel down before taking my shoes and socks off. Bella did the same with her shoes and stockings as we sat side by side on the blanket.

"I cannot believe how long it has been since we've both come here."

I hummed in agreement, wrapping an arm around her and placing a kiss on her forehead. My hand went to her hair, pulling the pin away and letting the chocolate locks spill out across my hand. We sat there for a moment, taking in the beauty of the scenery. Then, I reached for her face, flicking the tip of her nose.

"Hey! What was that for?"

I shrugged and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "You're it." I stood then, watching as understanding dawned on her face, and ran for cover in the trees as she chased after me, smiling and laughing.

.

.

.

The day was perfect. Running through the trees, feeling the earth beneath our feet, watching the wind flutter through Bella's hair. We must have spent hours that way before stopping to rest on the blanket and eat the sandwiches that Cook had made. Laughing and talking like we used to, before things were so complicated. I realized then that there was a small smear of dirt across her cheek. "What?" Bella asked as I began to inspect our clothing. There were grass stains covering her wrinkled skirts and my trousers were striped in dirt. I gestured to our messy attire and drew my hand across her cheek, clearing the dirt away and lifting my hand to show her.

I sighed. "You're mother is going to murder me."

Bella did not seem as troubled as I was. She simply laughed, shaking her head before taking a handful of the grass beside her and throwing it in my face. "Oh well," she said, shrugging and laughing more vigorously than before.

"_Oh __well_? That's all you have to say for my life?"

"This _was_ your idea. You stupid, silly boy."

"_You_ followed _me_, and _I_ am the stupid one?" She nodded and tried to get away then, as soon as she realized I was preparing to pounce, but I caught her before she could get too far. We were rolling in the grass now, no doubt adding to the many discolorations on our clothing. But if Bella did not care, then neither did I. She continued to struggle against me as I captured her beneath my body, though I could tell it was half hearted, what with the giggling and all. Her eyes were so bright, happy and shining. So beautiful. Her laughter quieted after a moment as we continued to gaze at each other. The sun had crossed the sky and was casting a warm glow around her angelic face. The earth around us seemed to shimmer and I could feel my breathing accelerate as her fingers reached up to trace the outline of my jaw, moving into my hair. Her nails trailed along my scalp before twisting and pulling me closer. There was no hesitation as I let my lips capture her own. This was the first I had truly kissed her in a long time, and I did not understand the amount of relief I felt in the comfort of her embrace.

But what began as soft and sweet rapidly became more and more urgent as Bella began to run her hands along my throat to my chest, making me gasp and tremble as our lips met over and over again. _More_. She took my top lip into her mouth then, moaning as she supped the flesh while her tongue tasted me, causing more shudders and groans. We had never been this close, this intimate. I could barely stand it as she repeated the motion with my lower lip. My fingers clutched the fabric of her dress, feeling the soft silk and making me wonder if the skin beneath it was just as supple. Kissing, touching, tasting… It was becoming too much already. Like at any moment I could shatter.

I turned away, letting us both breathe—and allowing me a moment to collect myself—until Bella impatiently drew my lips back to hers. So good. Her mouth was warm and sweet and wanting. But then suddenly, she pushed against me, shaking her head. "Stop. No…" She gasped.

"Bella?"

I sat back, letting her move away from me. She looked…anxious. Her eyes were wide and scrutinized everywhere but where I sat.

"Bella? Are you all right?"

"I… Yes. It…is getting late. We should be on our way, should we not?" She said, still looking away from me.

"…Of course."

She nodded, heading into the trees where we had left the horses. I gathered up the blanket and satchel then so I could refasten them to Masen, trying to understand what had happened.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

We rode all the way back in silence. It was probably good that we had left when we did, as the clouds were now rolling in, blotting out the rest of the early afternoon sunshine.

Bella wasted no time in dismounting at the stables and striding to the side entrance.

"Your Highness?" She kept walking. "My Lady." No response. Finally I caught up with her, snatching her arm. "Princess. May I have a word?"

She turned automatically at that, though still reluctant. "Yes?"

I leaned in. "Listen, I am not sure what just happened, but if I have done anything to displease you—"

"No," she said quickly, pulling her arm back. "No, I… I mean, it was not you—"

She stopped abruptly as others passed by with decorations for the ballroom.

"I should go and dress."

I was not letting her get away again. "Your Highness."

"Later, all right?"

"…Are you sure?" A nod. "As you wish, then." I could be patient and wait for her to tell me. Or at least pretend to.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

She did not dance with me. Not once. I could only watch as she spoke with various people. The guests paraded around in formals and ate and drank with merriment. They all seemed to be enjoying the now rare glimpse of the troubled Princess and how she is faring against the latest scandal attached to her actions.

I attempted to speak with her, but she was dismissive and distant. So I walked about the room, watching and waiting. Every so often she would sense my eyes and look in my direction, but then quickly turn away again.

There was a tap on my shoulder. "Pardon me," a meek voice said. I turned to see a young woman, tall and blond, with far too much rouge on her lips. The color was smeared on her wine glass. "Forgive my forwardness, but are you not the man who rescued Isabella?" She held out her hand.

_Ugh. Why now?_

"Um… Yes," I said, taking her hand with a bow. "Miss…?"

"Oh, of course, how rude of me. Mallory. But please, call me Lauren. And your name is?" Her eyes roamed my form, and I attempted to hide the sickening feeling I felt welling up.

"Edward."

"What an _attractive_ name," she purred. "Do you not dance, Edward?"

Uncomfortable. This was not the first time I had been looked over by one of Bella's court acquaintances, but it still made me uneasy, to say the least. "I do, but unfortunately I am at the Princess' disposal this evening."

"Oh. Well, I shall keep you company then."

I cannot be sure how long she had been standing beside me, droning on and on about her family's wealth and status with the royal family. It was only mildly annoying until she began to lean on my arm, clearly uninhibited now by the amount of beverages she's had in the past hour or so. It would have been quite comical, if I were not annoyed beyond belief.

"You know, Edward, I must tell you that I have never seen anyone with such deep, green eyes as yours," she slurred before leaning in to speak in my ear. "A girl could lose proper judgment staring into them."

It was at that moment the glass in her hand shattered, causing red wine to spill down the front of her pale blue dress. She gasped in horror, but I barely heard it as my eyes snapped to where Bella was standing on the other side of the room, her every feature livid as she stared at the girl beside me. The next second she turned, heading straight for the balcony doors.

I barely muttered and 'excuse me' before going after her as calmly as I could.

I had just enough time to see her disappear down the stairs and into the garden paths that run along side the Palace's stone walls.

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**A/N: So… what do you think is going on with our princess?**

**Please review and tell me how awful I am for making you wait! Ugh. Please forgive me! This chapter just did not want to be written! :P**

**Thanks for sticking with me! Love you all!**


	21. Confessions

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Hi friends! Sorry I didn't reply to those of you who were kind enough to leave me reviews: eli-rose, MelkiSihou, abw2442, DutchGirl01, the medward girls, marypoppinscollar, Terenthia, BellaEdwardJacobLove, and TeamEdwardKat. Dumb ffn wouldn't let me! Ugh! lol. So, yeah, I wasn't just ignoring you. I promise.**

**This chapter was very difficult to write, so yeah, that's why I didn't get it to you till now. :( But this is the longest chapter yet, so I hope that will appease you. :)**

**Last****time,****on****Crown****Games:** Edward took Bella to the meadow where they had a great day, until she started acting weird again. Then at Bella's 15th birthday party, while watching her avoid him, Edward was forced to talk with Lauren because he didn't want to be rude. When Bella saw them, she stormed out, leaving poor, confused Edward to chase after her.

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Chapter 21 – Confessions

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BPOV

I could not even look at him. How could I have been so foolish? Acting the way I had earlier. I wanted to apologize, to take it back even. But, then there was a part of me that did not. My breath came quicker as I realized that, so I moved on to speaking with someone else. On and on, mindlessly chatting away about nothing in particular. Anything to not reflect upon what had happened in the meadow, what I had felt…

And then I looked up and saw another complication. Jasper. He had just entered the room. His stormy, gray eyes swept the room, no doubt searching for me. But…why was he here? He is _not_ supposed to be here. Mother said he would not come. He shouldn't be here… I trembled as he came nearer to Father, no doubt asking of my whereabouts. I could not let him find me. I had been able to evade him this long, and I refused to give up now.

_I __have __to __get __out __of __here_. I ended my present conversation, and made my way through the large crowd, going toward the large doors that led to the balcony, but stopped as I stood a little ways off at the sight before me.

Edward…was standing with Lauren Mallory. She was laughing obnoxiously as she held to his arm and practically pressed herself to the side of his body.

My head swam with anger at the spectacle. I felt like I was drowning in a sudden sea of red. Nothing made sense in the world as I watched that blond harpy dig her claws into _my_ Edward. It was disgusting. And _he_ did nothing to stop her as she whispered in his ear. I wanted to rip that long, golden hair out of her pretty little head. How _dare_ she even _think_ of touching him! My fingers twitched to fulfill my silent desires when I felt his eyes on me.

But I couldn't meet his gaze. So I turned away, and ran straight out into the misty night, fleeing as swiftly as possible because I knew that he would see. He would know exactly how I felt and follow. Especially after how I had acted earlier…

_Drat, __drat, __drat!_ Why was this happening? First Jasper, now him… I was terrified now more than ever and I was acting like an idiot.

And I still hadn't told him. I could not. He would hate me. And then I would be alone again. Alone and lost in the dark. I just knew it. That was why I hadn't said anything. Besides, it did not matter anyhow. I would never go through with it. They could not make me. And if I refused, then Edward had no reason to find out or be upset over it.

I shouldn't have pushed him away earlier. Not now, when it was clear that I had to convince him to leave this place and take me away with him. I had to be brave… I had to show him I was ready. Though, I still could not make myself talk to him.

I could feel him getting closer. Why could he not leave me alone when I actually wanted him to?

Edward finally caught up with me, winding his arms around my waist as he moved us off the main path an into one of the few unlit lanes along the main palace walls. It was somewhat drier here under a small canopy, but the wind was biting. Edward held me close. My body trembled at his touch, and it only fueled the anger and pain I felt. I fought him in silence, not knowing who was around that might hear. Our voices were only whispered murmurs in the dark.

"Let go of me."

"No," he said forcefully, his breathing harsh in my ear. I pushed and pounded on his chest, but he only gripped my arms, holding them away as he fought to subdue me. Finally he walked us backward and held me between his body and the stone structure of the main palace. The heat of his skin was already affecting me. My breaths were coming too fast. How could I think clearly with him this close?

"Go away, Edward."

"Tell me what is wrong." When I said nothing, he became more agitated. "I am not leaving, Bella, and I will not just let it go this time. So tell me what I did, and I promise you now that I will amend it."

_If __only __it __were __that __simple._ "It has nothing to do with you. I-I just want to be left alone!"

He took hold of my chin, forcing my face towards his. "It is more than that, and you know it. You cannot even meet my eyes. You are tormenting me, Bella. Have I hurt you?" I shook my head. "Then why are you trying to hide from me? Answer me!" The emotion in his voice cut through me, but the words would not come.

I cannot say how long we stood there arguing, both of us too stubborn to give in to the other.

But I was weakening. He was too close, his emerald eyes burning into me. I could smell the sunshine still lingering upon his skin. I tried to push the thoughts of this afternoon away. "Please," I whimpered. My fingers were already betraying me though, as they twisted into his shirt, holding him nearer still.

"Bella," his lips brushed mine as he allowed me to draw him closer. I lifted my eyes and saw the deep longing in his. "Tell me."

Blood boiled under my skin as his breath blew across my lips. Too close. Did he even realize what he was doing to me? My resolve was waning. I realized that I wanted to tell him…everything. But this was not the place. "I cannot. Not here."

He pinched the bridge of his nose, harshly letting out a breath. "I am getting a little tired of running on your time, Bella."

"I am sorry to hear that. Why don't you just go let out your frustrations with your new friend, Lauren."

"What are you talking about?"

"She seemed quite taken with you, did she not?" Just the thought of it had me burning with anger again.

"Of all the stupid… Is that why you ran out? It is, isn't it?"

"_No_." It truthfully wasn't. Though it didn't help anything, either.

"You are a horrible liar, Bella."

"Stop!" I said, finally able to break free of his grasp. "You're…completely unreasonable! I won't discuss anything with you like this, so just stay away from me." I turned to leave, but he took hold of my arm, trying to draw me back.

"Bella—"

"Let. go. of. me. I will not ask you again."

He tried to hold me in place as I struggled to free my arm. It was so maddening! I didn't realize that my other hand had even moved until it connected with the side of his face. I felt my eyes widen in shock.

He stared at me then, stunned, before his eyes hardened. "Fine." Then he was walking away.

I went after him, stupidly. "Edward, I didn't mean… I'm sor—"

"Don't bother, Bella." He continued walking away, and I watched as his angry form disappeared into the night.

"Uhh!" I wanted to scream in frustration! I stormed off back to the party, not caring that I was out of sorts and supposed to be the honoree. Besides, I was sure the mist of rain had left me looking miserable. There was nothing that could make me stay and pretend to be happy.

But just as I had reached the top of the stairs, I ran into another problem, literally.

_Smack_. "Oof. Excuse me, miss—Isabella?"

"Jasper?" _Oh __no._ I had forgotten all about him. "I am sorry, I suppose I should watch where I am going." I attempted to laugh, but it sounded more strangled than anything. "If you will excuse me—"

"No, no. That is quite all right. Actually, I have been looking for you." He smiled at me, so confident.

"Oh?" _Get __away, __Bella. __Now._

"Yes, well, I wanted to wish you a happy birthday—"

"That is very sweet. Thank you. I don't mean to be rude, but I must be going." I began to move past him, but he sidestepped me.

"Wait." A slight pause. "Isabella, there was something I have been wanting to ask you…"

"_No_. …I mean… That is… Can it not wait until some other time?"

"I would say so, though I have been attempting to speak with you privately for some time now."

"Well…" I bit m lip, trying to think of some other excuse. But nothing came. A long moment passed with silence until he began chuckling.

"And here I had always thought of myself as a brave man, but with you…"

"Me?"

"I do not know why this feels so difficult to explain, but I have struggled in vain, and I must ask you to end this suffering, Isabella."

Breathing was becoming a trial. "Jasper, please, say no more."

"But I must. Do you not yet know of my feelings toward you?" He took my hand, and I could only watch in horror as he placed it over his heart. _Why? __Why __was __this __happening?_ It could not be real.

"No Jasper," I said taking my hand back. He looked at me with a horribly sad expression. "You can't have such feelings."

He took my hand again as I tried to back away. "But I do. Please, Princess, let me explain."

What was it with men, and not comprehending the word _no_? I was about to protest again when a strong hand came down upon Jasper's shoulder, threatening, restraining, white against the dark material of Jasper's coat. An emerald ring adorned it. Edward stepped out slightly from behind Jasper then, so that I could see him. "Is there a problem here, Your Highness?"

My eyes turned back to Jasper, seeing his jaw clench and nostrils flare at the way Edward's fingers were holding him back. He turned his face slightly to glare at Edward and I had this sudden fear they would start fighting. I wanted to escape with Edward, but I couldn't speak as I watched them both stare each other down. "No. There is no problem. Is there, Isabella?" He said without turning away from Edward. "So you can get your hand off of me," he growled.

"Keep your hands off of her." His voice sent chills up my spine. I had to stop this.

"Edward? I am feeling a little tired. Would you mind escorting me to my room?" His eyes flickered to me for a moment, before he nodded, dropping his hand from Jasper's shoulder.

"Of course."

I moved to his side and began pulling him away. Jasper looked between the two of us carefully. I swallowed, stopping my movement for a moment. "Good evening, Jasper. I am…sorry." And I was. Hopefully, he would not be too upset over my rejection.

I began to pull on Edward's sleeve again as he continued to watch Jasper, never taking his eyes from him as we moved inside.

Edward moved quickly then, practically dragging me to the stairs as I fought to keep up. I could see that he had not calmed down yet as he turned to me sharply, his eyes alive with fire. "Go."

"But…"

"My room. Thirty minutes. Understand?"

I swallowed. "…Yes."

"Good. Do _not_ keep me waiting."

He stayed there and watched as I ascended the stairs, and then turned, walking, I assumed, back to the party for some reason. I prayed that it was not to find Jasper. As I walked to my room, I wondered what I was going to tell him. There was no doubt he wanted an explanation. How could I explain everything that had me feeling like this? I did not know…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_**Two Months Earlier…**_

I sat in the window seat of my bedchamber, reading as I enjoyed the late afternoon sunshine that peeked out of the cloud cover from time to time. I hadn't read this book in a while, and it was strange how the words were speaking to me in a way they hadn't before…

_'If I were in heaven, Nelly, I should be extremely miserable.' _

_'Because you are not fit to go there,' I answered. 'All sinners would be miserable in heaven.' _

_'But it is not for that. I dreamt once that I was there.' _

_'I tell you I won't hearken to your dreams, Miss Catherine! I'll go to bed,' I interrupted again. _

_She laughed, and held me down; for I made a motion to leave my chair. _

_'This is nothing,' cried she: 'I was only going to say that heaven did not seem to be my home; and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth; and the angels were so angry that they flung me out into the middle of the heath on the top of Wuthering Heights; where I woke sobbing for joy. That will do to explain my secret, as well as the other. I've no more business to marry Edgar Linton than I have to be in heaven; and if the wicked man in there had not brought Heathcliff so low, I shouldn't have thought of it. It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same—'_

"Your Highness?" Angela said, interrupting me.

"Yes?" I said, thwarted. I loathe to be interrupted.

"Forgive me, but the King has requested to speak with you at present."

I held in the sigh that threatened to escape. _Drat_. I had come to realize that it was never a good thing when Father wished to speak with me… I guess my book would just have to wait. I placed my bookmark between the pages and left it to enjoy the rest of the sun without me.

I found him in the large, white gazebo that was enclosed on either side by topiaries and flowers. Advisors surrounded him, and they were no doubt going over the matters of state. That was something I was not looking forward to. Why did growing up have to be so inexplicably tied to responsibilities?

He dismissed the men around him once he had seen me approaching. I came forward at his beckoning and kissed his cheek as I stood beside his seat at the small metal and glass table that was perched to the far left of the structure.

"You wished to speak with me?"

He looked at me for a long moment, smiling slightly. I was not sure why, but it made me feel…uneasy, to say the least. Father rarely smiled. "And how are you today, dear daughter?"

"Um…Fine. Thank you." _I __wish __I __could __say __the __same __of __you_, I thought.

"Good, good. Glad to hear it." He stood and walked to the railing, looking out over the small pond that was below. I followed, watching him stare at the water, seemingly lost in thought. I too looked below, seeing the vibrant fish and other sea creatures that swam about the bouquets of bright anemones, swaying in the small current of water. There was some memory that floated on the edge of my mind as I watched. There was something about this pond—perhaps the colors and life in it—that made me happy and sad all at once. Though I had no idea why. I turned back to Father, wondering when he was going to begin what would be his latest lecture.

Finally, I decided to break through his reverie. "Father?" He turned, meeting my eyes, "What did you want to talk to me about?"

He took a deep breath. "I have good news."

"Good news?"

The smile returned, but it was…different, even more unsettling somehow. "Yes. I know it is not my place to say anything, but, I felt that I should, knowing that it could be a delicate moment… You must remember to be poised and proper despite whatever emotion might claim you."

"Emotion over what?" He had yet to say anything that made sense.

"Well, about young Whitlock, of course." He said, as if what he was referring to should be obvious.

"Jasper?" What emotion would I have for him?

"Yes, yes. Jasper. I think he will make you a fine husband."

_Husband?_ My throat felt particularly dry at that word. Still, I could not fully comprehend. "Father, please, speak plainly before I go mad. What _are_ you talking about?"

"Jasper came to speak with me late this morning," he said significantly. I attempted to swallow, but I could not. "He wishes to begin your courtship." My eyes widened in horror and there was a sudden, dull ringing in my ears. "And I have given my blessing."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I closed the door to my bedchamber and went to sit by the hearth of the fireplace, where someone must have just kindled a flame.

I felt so cold and alone, thinking of that horrible day when Father had told me of Jasper's supposed…affections toward me. I cannot even remember replying to his '_good__news_'. I only recall walking away in a daze, my stomach churning. I barely made it out of his sight before I turned toward the nearby foliage, collapsing in a heap from the sudden sharp pains in my stomach and retching violently.

Even just thinking of it made me tremble. From that moment, I had done everything I could think of to avoid speaking with him during the few times when he attempted to call on me. Thankfully, he was still required to spend most of his time attending to the General and whatever the military required of him. The few times I had seen him in the Palace, I had made a swift retreat before he could notice my presence. He was not even supposed to be at my party! Mother had told me so. But then I had seen him enter the room, making his way toward me. I went to Edward in the hopes to get away from him, but then I saw him with Lauren, who had the nerve to not only flirt with my Guard, but also touch him, whispering in his ear. I wanted nothing more than to rip her hair out. And Edward was obviously content with it, not even bothering to push her away. It was…disgusting.

I shook my head, standing and forcing myself to the secret wall so I could get to Edward's room as quickly as possible. The darkness was so intimidating that it was nearly unfeasible for me to do this without Edward… He probably was so angry he did not realize what he asked of me, but I refused to provoke him any further.

A wave of frustration hit me as I closed myself in the walls, trying to breathe deeply and think of the mess my life had become, rather than the darkness that surrounded me. Ah! Why was this happening to me? It all made such little sense!

Especially with Jasper. Not once had he ever shown any interest in me… Had he? No. It was only friendly, kind words that he spoke. Not to mention that he did not even know me. A few dinners and one or two dances were hardly any basis for romantic feelings. Not that Jasper was…undesirable. On the contrary. He is tall, strong, and smart, with a handsome face and a pleasant disposition. There was no doubt that Jasper would make a good, faithful husband.

_But __not __to __me_, I thought, finally reaching Edward's room. I simply could not think of Jasper that way. He could never make me happy. Not like…

Sigh. I kept the candle with me as I now sat in the dark room beneath the window, hoping and fearing that Edward would come soon.

_Edward_... There was another predicament in and of itself. How many mysteries could revolve around one person? It made me faint just thinking about all of it. I still had no explanation for whatever enchantment surrounded him, past or present. And now there was no way of discovering anything without help. But Edward had no desire to even speak of his family, and I was too timid in mentioning anything from that day I met Elizabeth, the day when I had caused so much pain and fear without knowing it. I had thought of it all so often, my mind going in answerless circles in attempting to understand why the world was this way. At times the weight of all the intrigues seemed to be too much, making me want to scream and demand answers… Then there were the moments when nothing mattered but being close to him and wondering how soon we could make our escape.

Escape.

Was that the proper word? I suppose it was, considering what little time I had before Father forced me into a marriage. The only trouble was that I knew it would take a great deal to make Edward see why we had to go. He was so practical, there was no doubt that he would try and talk me out of it. But I knew he would if I begged. Besides, I was not making him do anything he would not want. He had said countless times that he would go with me if I left.

I smiled, thinking of our pretend adventures and fun times together through the years that we've spent growing up. It was so much simpler then. Edward and I had always been contented with each other. Happy. Until he began looking at me in that strange way. Until we kissed. Until I had been attacked. Each of these events, and more, had changed something between us. Whether it was the situations themselves or the fact that we were growing up, I did not know, nor could I decide the true cause for the alteration of our feelings.

Feelings.

Why, oh why did I have to trouble myself with these tiresome thoughts? I knew that it was silly to entertain, but for some reason Rosalie's words about him all those months ago were now always in the back of my mind, making me doubt. I mean, of course Edward and I love each other. Better than anything else, I know that he loves me. But… Was it more than it should be? Had it changed? At the time of her warning, I was so sure that it hadn't.

If only I could regain that confidence.

It was lost, though, as I began to observe him more closely. Continuing to drift further away as I realized that not all of Edward's affections were completely innocent. It made me shiver to think of the times I had caught him staring at me a certain way, letting his hands linger at my waist, breathing in the scent of my hair, brushing his lips across my throat.

I am not dense. I know that Edward is a member of the opposite sex. And what little I had studied on anatomy and behavior was enough to make me realize that he probably could not help being so…physical with me. It was a part of his nature. That was why I had let go of his lack of action with Lauren. It was not fair to him for me to stay angry. Besides, I knew her character, and I doubt Edward would initiate anything with _her_. It was _me_ that he cared for, _me_ that he took comfort in, _me_ that he held in his arms… Simple science showed that men are more susceptible to lust and wandering eyes, even though with Edward it was only directed toward myself. And he was never forceful or ungentlemanly toward me. So, those actions were more a result of his baser needs being brought out, not deeper feelings. Right? At least that was what I told myself. It could not mean that he really _desired_ me. That he was _in __love_ with me…

Though the worst part of that consideration was that it did not frighten me as I thought it would. Receiving that kind of attention. Especially from Edward. From anyone else I would be repulsed, as was made evident before. But with Edward, I did not mind so much. On the contrary—

_Click, __clack, __click, __clack__…_

Sounds of approach came to me from the other side of the door.

Panic commenced as I wondered what would happen now. My bindings felt tighter than they ever had, and I still had no words. What would he say? Would he stay away from me again? He promised that he wouldn't, but promises were so easily broken. I was not sure I could fathom being without him again. No. I would not let that happen, no matter what he said. He was too precious to me. I would find a way to keep him, even if it killed me.

The door opened, shut, and then the room was flooded with light.

When my eyes adjusted, I glanced up and noticed that he had not looked to me yet. I blew out the candle. He was removing his tie with stiff hands. Having already removed his coat, he rolled up his sleeves and kicked off his shoes. His jaw was set in anger and annoyance and I could see it was the same in his eyes.

I sat perfectly still the whole time, watching and waiting for Edward to acknowledge me.

Finally, he did.

"Why are you on the floor?" He asked, lighting a fire. His voice was so unaffected, compared to his demeanor, that it stunned me.

"W…What?"

"You should not sit on the floor in here. It's cold."

"Oh." At that moment, I realized that I was indeed cold, but had not bothered to notice. I stood on unstable legs, placing the candleholder on his bedside table, and stood at the edge of the bed. I didn't want to sit any longer.

He turned to me finally, still kneeling by the hearth. He assessed me with his eyes before standing up and turning out the lights. "Why are you still dressed?"

"I…was not sure if you wanted me to stay." My voice sounded frail. _What __if __he __did __turn __me __away?_ "I can go change…"

He sighed. "As if I would dare let you out of my sight again. No, Bella, you are not leaving this room tonight."

"But—"

"But nothing. Turn around."

I did. And his hands were at my back, unfastening my dress with the same stiff movements I had observed before. My heart pounded in my chest as he loosed everything, forcing me to hold up the front of my dress, lest it fall down. His hands were gone for a moment, and then he threw some dark blue fabric onto the bed in front of me. "This will have to do for tonight." When he stepped away again I looked back, seeing that his form was completely turned away from me across the room. I turned back to the bed, reaching for the garment—one of his nightshirts—and put it on as quickly as I could. It was too big, of course. Especially the sleeves, forcing me to roll them back to free my hands. The only problem was the length, a few inches short of the top of my knees. I pulled at the hem of it, uselessly trying to make it longer. I turned around, fighting the urge to change back.

"I am dressed." _Mostly, __I __suppose_.

Edward turned to me then, but stopped quickly. Though the light was dim from the fire, I could see his eyes grow dark in color as he took in every inch of me, from my head to my feet, lingering at my exposed legs. I watched as he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. He blinked and shook his head slightly before meeting my gaze. Then, as if in a trance, he came to where I stood, still watching me as he bent slightly to pull the blankets back, picked me up and put me in the bed. The blankets were tucked in snugly around my legs, and then he stepped away again, taking a deep breath.

I released my own, only now realizing that I had probably held it the whole time he stared at me.

He paced the floor. I waited, trembling slightly.

The pacing stopped. "All right. I want to hear it. Everything."

"Everything?" I stalled.

"Yes."

"Edward… I do not know if—"

"I do. I am tired of waiting Bella, and maybe that makes me cruel. I don't care anymore. I have tried to be patient, hoping that you would share things with me. But you haven't, and it's driving me insane. I want to know about whatever it is that's making you act so strangely. I want to know why you pushed me away today, and I want to know what you and Jasper were talking about. You're not leaving here until you tell me, so you might as well start talking. Now."

I was not sure that I had ever heard Edward talk to me this way before. It was so intimidating that I wanted to do whatever I could to avoid it. "Okay," I agreed, and tried to organize my thoughts, but they were a mess. I watched my hands as they shook slightly. "…I am not sure where to start."

He sat beside me, taking my hand. His voice was softer this time, "That's okay." I looked up, seeing his face was softer, too. "You know you can tell me anything, right? I won't laugh at you or anything of that sort."

"I know… I am more afraid that you'll be angry with me."

"Is it that bad?"

"Pretty much, yes."

He waited.

I took a deep breath, and forced the words out. "I went to the workhouse." His expression was puzzled. Looking back to my hands, I continued, knowing he would understand soon enough. "The day I went out on my own, I went to the workhouse and tried to find out more about…you."

He became utterly still, save for the minute tightening of his hold on my hand. I kept talking, frantic. "It's just, you won't talk to me, and it worries me sometimes, Edward. There is a…power inside of you. It must have come from your family. I did not mean to go behind your back, but I could not sit here and be content to wonder when those eyes would return. Not that you have shown any tendencies, but when Elizabeth told me about the men looking for you—"

"What?" His hollow tone made me look up.

"Miss Elizabeth? A girl at the workhouse mentioned that she brought you there, so I went and talked with her."

"And?"

"She said she found you, in the snow, alone…freezing…" My eyes were watering as I remembered.

"Elizabeth… Was that her name?" Edward was looking past me. I had yet to see any of the anger that I feared from him.

"Do you remember her?" I questioned, wondering, hoping that he would tell me something at long last. Perhaps it was a good thing he had pushed me to talk to him.

"I think so, but not well." His eyes found mine, and he seemed troubled. "You really want to know? That badly?"

"I don't like you keeping things from me either."

"That's just the problem, though. There's not much to keep when you cannot remember it. None of my memories are clear before the workhouse. It's just a blur of emotions and—" He sighed, exasperated. "What else did she tell you? Someone was looking for me?" I realized then that this was hard for Edward to hear, to relive. That was the reason he refused to talk about it. He didn't want to remember, but I was forcing him to. "Bella?"

_Too __late __to __stop __now_, I thought.

"Well, there were two men who came to the house a few days later. She said they were tall, dark skinned, and something about them did not look trustworthy, so she hid you in the bedroom before speaking with them. She told me you were frightened when you sensed them coming. She and her husband got rid of them, though. And when they came to get you…"

"What?"

"You were sitting on the floor while trinkets circled the room above your head."

Edward looked as if he were trying to remember, but there was a slight shake of his head. He was no longer touching me. "No. That can't be right. I've never…I do not know how to… I can't do that. It's impossible." His face became more and more confused. "She must be mistaken."

"Her husband saw it, too, Edward. That's why they were afraid to keep you."

"Afraid," he whispered. "If I had found a creature like me, I would be afraid, too."

"Stop that!" I took his hand back, waiting for him to look at me. "You're not a _creature_."

"Am I not?" He stood and was pacing again. "How can you even stand to be in the same room with me? Maybe it has nothing to do with my heritage. Maybe my parents realized the threat also." His voice was attempting anger, but I saw through it this time. I was surprised it took me this long to realize what was really behind those words.

Fear. Edward was frightened.

"Please," I said, hoping he would listen. "Edward, do not say such things."

"Why? Do you feel the same way?"

"No."

"No?" Disbelief colored his tone.

"It doesn't matter."

He stopped pacing, and I now began to see a hint of the anger I had feared. "It doesn't _matter_?"

"No."

Edward stared at me for a long time, and then he sat beside my legs, timidly facing me. "Why? It should. You should be able to move on and forget me. I shouldn't even be this close to you. It's wrong."

"That is not true."

He groaned. "I am serious."

"So am I. It's too late to take anything back. And I wouldn't anyhow, even if I could. Are you listening to me? I am not going to sit here and let you degrade yourself. It hurts me, Edward. Now, stop trying to welsh on your oath. Don't you know you belong to me?" I asked, teasing a little.

He shook his head, the corner of his mouth twitching. "I suppose that is true."

"Yes. And who knows, maybe you were meant to be here, to protect me."

He sighed. "Perhaps."

I ran my fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck wondering if that was true. I could tell he was thinking the same thing.

A moment passed before his eyes became curious.

"What?" I asked.

He hesitated. "Will you tell me about Jasper now?"

My body became rigid. I had forgotten that Edward was essentially forcing me to explain things that I didn't want to even think about. But I made myself relax, hoping that this would only help us. After all, he had not yelled at me thus far, and I could sense that he had somewhat more confidence in us.

That still did not give me the courage to tell him directly.

"He wanted to ask me something. I said I did not wish to hear it. He persisted, and you stepped in."

His eyes narrowed, knowing me too well. "And what was it he wanted to ask?"

"I do not know. I did not give him the chance." I found that it was difficult to lie when one's voice broke in the middle of it.

"Bella," he said with warning, "if you do not tell me now, then I will find out from someone else. Do you want that?"

"…No."

"Well?"

"Well, I _think_ that he was…possibly going to ask…to court me." It sounded like a question.

Surprisingly, he remained somewhat calm. "But you refused him."

"Sort of…"

"What does that mean?" He asked, allowing annoyance to seep in.

"That he did not officially ask, so I did not officially answer. But, hopefully he understands that it would be pointless in attempting again." I looked down, still feeling guilty, but knowing that it was for the best.

"Would it?"

My eyes snapped up to Edward's face. He was watching me carefully, his expression impassive. "Of course it would be," I snapped. Did he not know my character at all? "Jasper could never really understand me. And he would be so wrapped up in his military duties, never around. We don't have anything in common. It would be a waste of both our lives."

"What about your duty to the people of this kingdom? To your father and mother?" His voice was emotionless, detached.

I could not understand what he was feeling, but I attempted to answer his questions, telling him I could never rule with such a life. I bit my lip, hesitating… "Besides, it would be hard to marry someone who would be going away…"

He noticed my hint, but without the recognition I hoped for. "Going away?"

I nodded. "And, well, I don't think I could accept another when…when I have already promised myself." This seemed to break through Edward's careful mask, as his eyes grew dark with repressed rage. I, on the other hand, was fighting to keep the disappointment at bay. He did not remember. I knew he would not, but there was still the part that hoped he would remember the sweet things he said. I had to make sure. "You truly do not remember. Do you?"

His mood shifted yet again at my question. "Remember what?"

"The night of the party. The one that Mother threw in your honor…after I sent you up here?"

He attempted, but I could tell that he didn't. "No…"

I sighed. Of course not. "You were still drunk, and upset that I had danced with others. You called them fools, and said that you hated the idea of my marrying one of them." I prodded. "I told you I didn't want that to happen. I asked you to…take me away." Embarrassment colored my face as I admitted this to him. "You said that you would. You…asked me to marry you," I whispered.

Though my eyes were once again trained on my lap, I still caught the shocked look on Edward's face. "And you said yes?"

I could not help the pain that shot through my heart at his appalled tone.

I nodded.

"_Why_?"

"Do you truly not know?" I bit my lip to keep from crying.

"Bella… How could you even entertain… You know I could never…" He sighed, gripping his hair in irritation. "Did you really believe that you could marry me?"

"If we ran away…"

He shook his head, standing up. "We cannot just run away, Bella. You know that."

"Says who?" He was hurting me so thoroughly now that it was easy to disguise my pain with anger. "We could go."

"No, we couldn't."

"Well, maybe not right away," I argued. "We would have to plan it carefully, but—"

"No, Bella. It would not work."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do." He laughed without humor, his featured obscured in the firelight. "You are so naïve, Bella."

"I am _not_."

"Oh?" He keeled before me, angrily waiting for my challenge.

"I know it would be…difficult, at first, but it would not matter to me. So long as we're together. That's what is important. We could get away from here, from these rules and pretenses and live in peace."

"I am sure you have given it thought Bella, but you must realize that whatever life you have dreamed up for us is just that, a dream." He was trying to make me question this, my desire to be with him, but I refused to even consider it.

"It does not have to stay that way."

"And where would we go?" He questioned. "I have nothing to offer you, Bella. Do you not see that? I own nothing. Even if it were possible for us to marry, I do not even have a last name to give you."

"I don't care."

"And what of the King and Queen? Do you really think they would allow their daughter to just disappear?"

I turned away, not wanting to hear anymore, lest my heart shatter. But he reached for my arms, forcing me to face him, to listen.

"You know they would not. And when they found us, they would kill me—"

"_No_."

"—and you would still be forced to marry." I shook my head, trying not to hear his horrible, bitter words. "Nothing would change. There is no happy ending written for us. No little house or lazy afternoons. No simple life to have as we grow old together... You must realize that, Bella. We are not meant to be that way."

"Stop saying that!" He was destroying everything.

"It is true." There was a pain in his voice that echoed my own.

"No." He attempted to put his arms around me, but I pushed him away. "Don't touch me." I moved to the other side of the bed, wishing I could get further away from him. He had taken all of my beautiful visions and poisoned them. I wept for their corruption as I curled into myself, trying to disappear. He was wrong, and I would find a way to prove it.

"I am sorry, Bella," he whispered. "More than you know."

"You're not," I whimpered. "You're cruel and hateful and you don't care anything for me."

"You know that's not true." He was on the bed now, ignoring my protests as he forced me into his arms. "You know how I need you, Bella. You are my life. My whole world. I do care for you…too much. Don't you see that? Don't you realize that I…that I'm…"

My breath caught as I listened to him struggle for words. I let him lift my tear-stained face to his, watching the intensity in his eyes.

"I'm in love with you, Bella. I've tried not to be, but…" His voice broke with emotion. "I cannot keep it from you any longer. I don't want to." He paused. "I would take you away, if I could. I would marry you and love you and be everything for you. I would do anything and everything to give you the life you wanted; where we could laugh and smile and walk hand in hand down the street with miniature Edwards and Bellas running around us. We could be together and I could kiss you and make love to you and fulfill your every desire. If it were up to me…you would already be mine, Bella."

A shiver went down my spine.

"I love you."

And then his lips captured mine.

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**A/N: So…thoughts? ;)**

**Special thanks to SuperK4141 for the "mini Edwards and Bellas" line. I bet you thought I had forgotten, huh?**

**Review and let me know! And thanks for still reading, reviewing, and putting me in your favorites/alerts/C2s.**

**I love you all!**


	22. Anguish

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Just a warning, Edward is having trouble with his dark side in a couple scenes, and he get's possessive and possibly gives out an angry death threat…uh, yeah. So…if talk of blood and/or death bothers you on any level, please proceed cautiously. You've been warned!**

**Oh, and please, please, PLEASE read the A/N at the end of the chapter. Okay? Thanks!**

**Sorry for the shortness. Better a little something, than nothing at all, right?**

**Last****time,****on****Crown****Games:** Bella turns Jasper down, then—because of coercion—tells Edward about her visit to Ms. Elizabeth's and that Edward had drunkenly proposed to her. He makes her cry when he tells her that it would never happen and they couldn't run away, and then confesses that he's in love with her.

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Chapter 22 – Anguish

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EPOV

I had just put my lips to hers when she pushed me back, shaking her head. "No," she breathed.

"No?"

"How could you do this to us, Edward? You cannot say things like that. You cannot tell me you love me and refuse me in the same breath."

"Bella, I—"

"No!" She removed herself from my grasp, fresh tears spilling down her flushed cheeks. "I don't wish to hear any more excuses."

"Please, love—"

"Don't call me that," she snapped. "I am _not_ your love. You should know better than to speak such things… I… Just…leave me alone, Edward." Turning away, she slid as far as possible from me to the other side of the space. Though this bed was not as large as her own, she had still managed to put plenty of distance between us. The few inches felt like a great chasm, one that I couldn't cross.

And I suddenly feel the sting of rejection and stupidity as I lay here, watching the slow tremors of hurt shake my beloved.

How could I have been so idiotic to think that telling her I loved her would bring about any good? Only hours ago I had silently ridiculed that fool Jasper for trying to make her listen to his pathetic yearnings. Now, I was no better than him, forcing my feelings upon her when she didn't want them. It was even worse because I knew how she felt about the subject, and yet for some reason I still confessed it in an attempt to show her that I did care for her. More than anything.

But she was right. How could she believe my words when I had trampled her pleas?

_Because __you __know __it__'__s __true. __She __wouldn't__survive __that __way. __She __has __to __understand __that._

Yes. It was true. Her naïveté had to end and there was no simple way to make Bella understand things. She was too stubborn. I could not even comprehend the idea that Bella wanted to truly get away from this place. Of course, she had always said that it would be amusing to go on adventures and see the world while we were children. But I had never thought she _meant_ it. There was nothing better for her beyond these walls, and I knew that from experience.

So why did she believe that it would be different? Why did she think I would be willing to take her away from here when I had nothing to offer her?

'_And, __well, __I __don__'__t __think __I __could __accept __another __when__…__when __I __have __already __promised __myself._ She said. _I __asked __you __to__…__take __me __away. __You __said __that __you __would. __You__…__asked __me __to __marry __you_.'

I tried to remember this, but there was still nothing of that conversation in my mind.

I shut my eyes, now feeling angry that she would ask me something like that when I was clearly not thinking. That she would place her hopes in my incoherent babble. But, she did. And the fault was entirely mine.

I laid awake all night thinking through the mistakes I had made when it came to her. There were plenty to keep my mind occupied as I continued to stare at the back of her sleeping form on the other side of the bed. Becoming her friend was not enough, holding her at arms' length was painful and disastrous, but loving her…this must have been the most tormenting because I knew it would only bring misery to us both, the current situation accenting my deduction.

She wants me to take her away. She wants me to make her free. If it were possible, I would do it. But I cannot, and it will wound me forever…because that's all she wants. Freedom. Not me.

_She __doesn't__love __me_.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I watch with little interest as the men in the training ring fight to best one another. There are others around me; some are yelling encouragements, some calling out taunts, and others groaning as one gains the upper advantage. Still, I feel as though I'm in a dark abyss, waiting and hoping to find my way out again. The noise about me is nothing more than a muted din while thoughts circle around one question after another…

_Did Bella hate me? Would she ever speak to me again after how I behaved? Would she let me explain? Could I? What would I do when she pushed me away again? What happens now?_

Too many questions with no confident response to any of them.

Strangely, the one solace I had in all this madness was Jasper. His severe mood was quite evident to everyone, but no one knew who or what had caused it: me.

I smirked just a bit at his cold demeanor, happy that at least she hadn't given him any encouragement. It was childish, and I didn't care. She was still mine for the moment, even if she hated me now. But I would change that. Somehow.

As if I had wished for her to appear, I looked up and suddenly saw the object of my affections walk pass the crowd I was hidden in. Her steps were uncertain, reluctant as her eyes swept the field, looking as though she was searching for someone.

She was wearing a deep blue dress today. One of my favorites. The color brought out the natural beauty of her skin. Her hair was gracefully twisted around itself at the nape of her neck, but there were strands that had somehow come loose. She appeared to be calm, bored even, as she searched. But she gave herself away with her lower lip caught between her teeth. The emotion hidden in her eyes was…anxiety? Or was fear the proper word?

I was not sure if I should go to her or stay hidden. My decision was made for me when she suddenly took a deep breath and went to where Jasper was standing a little ways away.

My chest tightened. _Why __would __she __search __him __out?_

I watched discreetly as she spoke to him. He nodded, and they began walking back toward the barracks in silence... To speak in private?

The feeling in my chest became worse. I kept my eyes on Bella's face, trying vainly to figure out why she wanted to speak to him.

She looked up then, sensing my gaze, and our eyes met. Her step faltered for a moment before she turned away and disappeared inside the building.

Without realizing it, I was already following after them, my mind brimming with questions.

I was correct in assuming she wanted to speak to him alone. They disappeared into a room while her maid Angela and another soldier, Ben, waited outside the door. I stood around the corner, attempting to look inconspicuous as I glanced at the door every so often.

If only I could see through walls, or read minds. Uh! This waiting was proving to be more and more uncomfortable with every minute.

A frustrated groan escaped me, and when I glanced back to the door I saw that Angela had taken notice of me. Her expression was…troubled. She took a step toward me, but stopped. It almost looked as if she were going to say something, but thought better of it. Did she wish to speak with me? But…why? Was Bella in trouble?

The door swung open that moment, and Bella was walking swiftly away in the next. "Angela!" Bella called, but she had yet to follow, her eyes still on me. She looked to Bella, and then back, inclining her head ever so slightly.

It was all the encouragement I needed before going after her.

Bella was almost to her carriage before I caught up to her. "Angela, please keep up, I—" Her voice faltered as she turned to find me in her maid's place, eyes round with revelation. And tears?

"Why are you crying?" I demanded without thinking.

"I… What are you doing here?" She snapped.

"I might ask you the same, Your Highness."

She blinked, her teeth pressing forcefully into her bottom lip. She was deciding something. Finally, "Angela?" She leaned around me, "Go and fetch Edward's horse and bring him back to the Palace. Edward is going to be coming with me."

I turned to see Angela was now standing a few feet away. She nodded, "Yes, my Lady." Then walked away.

"You want me to come with you?" She nodded. "Now?"

"Unless you are indisposed?"

"No, I…Well, I am not quite fit to be in—"

She sighed. "Just get in, Edward."

.

.

.

The ride back was quiet. Bella had entwined our fingers and leaned her head upon my shoulder as soon as I had closed the door. Questions were still at the forefront of my mind, but I didn't seem to have the courage to voice them now. Nor to do anything else. I had already overstepped my boundaries last night, being so cross with her, and I did not wish to do that again. I had to show patience. So I waited for her to speak first.

She did not.

When we arrived, her fingers tightened around my own for a moment before letting go. I wanted to beg her to tell me. We had finally broken through the secrets, but now she harbored another one. _With __Jasper_. And I loathed it. No. I _hated_ it. She never used to keep things from me. Her secrets were my secrets. We shared everything. _Or __used __to_, I thought bitterly as we walked inside the palace.

At least I still had this time with her.

"Isabella?"

We turned to see the King approaching, his face stern.

Bella turned to me, her back was now to her father as she spoke. "Edward, why don't you go and change? I'll wait for you in the Yellow Parlor and then you can take me on that walk."

"…Of course, Your Highness." I walked off without another word, but I still managed to hear the demanding tone of the King.

"I presume you have corrected the matter as I have asked?"

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

We had walked for nearly an hour without so much as a word between us. Bella's wide umbrella shaded us from the misting rain, but did nothing for the tension between us. I was slowly losing my patience as the silence grew stronger by the minute.

"Father came to my room this morning…" She whispered, at last.

"And?"

"And…" Her struggle for words troubled me as she began to tremble at my side. "He… I did not mean to… I mean, it was not my choice…Please don't be angry… There's not much time…"

I held her arms gently, trying to give her some stability. "Bella, calm down. What is this? What are you trying to tell me?"

She shook her head and forced the words, "…I have to marry Jasper."

I froze. "What?"

"I did not want to encourage him, but Father found out…"

I could sense somewhere in the back of my mind that Bella was still speaking, but after his name the sound began to fade as anguish and angry heat suddenly travelled down my spine.

_She __said __yes. __To _him. _It __can__'__t __be __possible. __No. __She __belongs __to __me__… __He __can__'__t __have __her. __She __doesn__'__t __want __him. __It__'__s __impossible. __Why __would __she __do __this? __To __tempt __me? __Does __she __know __what __I __would __do __for __her?_

"Edward?"

"_No_."

"E-Edward?"

"Why do you lie to me?"

"I—I'm not."

_This __cannot __be __happening_.

Dark thoughts pierce my mind. Like whispers on the wind. They feed my anger with visions of blood and death. _Does __she __have __any __idea?_

"I'll kill him." I pull her closer, she must listen. "I'll kill him if he touches you. You're _mine_. Do you hear me!" She trembles in my arms. She should. "He can't have you. I'll rip him to pieces first."

"Edward, please—"

I silence her with my mouth, fingers twining in her dark curls. She struggles, but it's useless, and soon she kisses me back. She knows to whom she belongs. My Bella. The others do not know. I'll show them. I'll mark her as mine. Then she can't leave me. No one will take her from me. The need to mark her is growing. I want them to know to whom she belongs. My lips move down her throat, nipping at the warmth as my hand wrenches the top of her dress away from her shoulder.

_Mine_.

Without thought, my teeth press into the soft flesh at her shoulder as I taste her skin, making her cry out. The fingers now twisted in my hair are pressing my teeth deeper into her flesh. I bite down harder and draw her sweet skin into my mouth. It isn't long before she pulls my mouth back to hers. We're both hungry. Starving. Kissing, touching, wanting, gasping, loving… It's never felt this strong before…

Bella trembles in my arms. I suddenly feel the rain, cold and strong as it pours down upon us, as though I've just realized it was here.

The umbrella lies forgotten at our feet.

The frenzy dissipates as I focus on to feel the warmth of her lips between my own. My Bella, my love. _What __am __I __doing? __This __isn__'__t __right._ The urgent attack fades to a quiet admiration as the kisses become soft, sweet and beautiful. For the second time in one day, my heart shatters.

"Bella?" I breathe into her ear, too frightened to look into those perfect eyes.

"Yes?"

"Don't do it. Don't marry him." The emotion is too much. I open my eyes, searching, begging.

"…I have no choice," she cries over the clatter of the rainfall.

"But… You don't want him. Do you?"

"Of course not."

"Then take it back." I knew it wasn't as simple as that, but I could not help the desperation of my senseless words. "Tell them…" _What? __What __could __she __say?_

"Edward—"

"I love you."

"Stop saying that." She pushes, but there is no strength behind it.

"No."

"Take me away."

"You know I cannot."

"_Please_. It's the only way, now."

"Why do you always ask for the impossible?"

"Why do you never give in?"

_Oh, __but __I __do._

I felt her tremble once again. How long have we stood here? "We should go."

"No."

"You are going to catch your death."

"I will, if you do not listen." I shake my head, but she goes on. "If it's money, I can get some. If you want anonymity, we can leave the kingdom. Go to Londra."

I walk away, and she follows. The sooner I have her back, the sooner I can drown in my misery.

_Our __time__…__is __over. __Gone._

"…you even listening to me? Do you even care about what I am going through? Because of you?"

I stop. "_What?_"

"You heard me."

How can she begin to compare us? "You're absolutely mind-boggling."

"Oh, do not sound so wounded. You think I don't know what it is to suffer?"

"I don't need to _think_ what I already _know_." I resumed my walk. No more distractions.

"Oh, of course," Bella exclaimed, "the rich little Princess is too naïve to understand what hardships the commoners endure."

"I'm not playing this game with you."

She continued as if I hadn't spoken. "Tell me, _Servant_, do you envy my life? Having no say in most of my daily activities? Being poked and prodded each day to be 'presentable' to the court? Having to speak to people who judge me every moment, just waiting for me to fall on my face and laugh?"

Bella continued in her spoiled rant as we neared the Palace, growing more angered as I seemingly ignored her claims.

For some reason, she still could not understand the difference between us. She had every opportunity at her disposal. She was beauty and elegance. I was rubbish and gauche. And I was foolish enough to want her.

"Will that be all, my Lady?" I watched as she stood in front of me, completely soaked to the bone. Her delicate dress was sopping wet, the hem covered in mud. Her cheeks were pink with anger, and her eyes alight as well. Would I ever find her unattractive?

"As a matter of fact—"

A gasp of fright alerted us to the Queen, stalking toward her daughter in horror. "Isabella! What have you done to your dress!"

She winced. "Nothing, Mother, I—"

"Edward, really! You should keep better watch over the Princess—"

"Mother! I am not a child. I do not need looking after!"

The Queen gave her daughter a withering look.

"This clearly shows otherwise. Come now, upstairs. We must get you changed before you catch your death of cold!"

Fear took over for a moment as they began to go. _Don__'__t __take __her __from __me._ Then I remembered that she was not mine. Soon, she would belong to Jasper.

"Oh, Edward," the Queen turned back to me, "Isabella will not be needing your services for the remainder of the day, so feel free to do as you wish."

_Gee, thanks._

I watched her leave me with misery before skulking to my room to slowly die inside.

:- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -:

**A/N: Once again, so sorry that it took so long to get this to you! Big changes are a comin'!**

**On another note…**

**It's my Birthday (well, actually, I guess now it's yesterday that was my birthday-the 7th)! Yay! Gosh, 25 feels old. Haha.**

**AND…! I realized that it's been over a year since I began this story! _(Whoa!__Who__would__have__thought__that__I__'__d__get__this__far?)_ It's crazy, I tell you! Cra-zay!**

**First of all, to those of you who have been reading, reviewing, and added me to favorites and whatnot a whole year ago: I don't know if I would have made it this far without your first encouragements, so thanks! And! Many special thanks to all of you who have done the same since that first tiny chapter about a sad little boy. You are all very much appreciated and loved! I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**

**Again, so sorry for taking so long with the update-my classes and RL are killing me and I haven't had the encouragement to write as much as I should have the last few weeks, so if you left some love I'd appreciate it! :)**


	23. Preparation

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**This chapter is dedicated to MelkiSihou for kicking my butt to get this chapter out. She was relentless in asking, and I LOVE her for it! :D Hehe! Sorry about the wait! I hope the length of this chapter will appease you (11,000+). :) Seriously, though, it's gonna take you a while so get comfy. Haha.**

**Last****time,****on****Crown****Games:** Edward, after pouring his heart out, realizes that Bella doesn't love him. He watches Bella go off and speak with Jasper, and later finds out that the King has ordered her to marry Jasper. Edward turns a little dark at the news and after kissing her in the rain, he argues with Bella over her desire to run away.

**This chapter picks up at the end of 21, where Edward tells her they will never run away or get married, and then professed his love for Bella. The beginning here starts with her waking up in Edward's room the next morning, still sleeping in his night shirt after crying herself to sleep.**

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Chapter 23 – Preparation

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BPOV

I awoke to a bright room, feeling exhausted and strained as I carefully opened my eyes to the sunshine streaming through the window. Edward had already gone, I realized, and I could not stay here a second longer.

I retrieved my dress and things from the floor and made my way back to my chamber as quickly as I could, attempting not to focus on the darkness or Edward—a feat in itself.

How could he tell me that—

_No, no. Don't think about it now._

As soon as I entered the room I threw off Edward's shirt and pulled on my nightdress distractedly.

I was in danger of letting the thoughts take over, so I crawled into my bed, trying to ignore the absence of heat in it, and slept uneasily until Angela woke me several hours later. She watched me curiously as she dressed me, occasionally sneaking glances in the mirror as I sat at the vanity for my hair to be done.

Did I truly look so terrible?

_Sigh_.

A knock came at the door, and then my father appeared from behind it. He appeared to be…distressed.

_Join __the __club_.

"Good morning, Isabella." He said, though it seemed he felt it was anything but.

"Hello Father, I trust you slept well?"

"I did..."

_But?_

"…Until I spoke with Sir Thomas this morning." I felt my body go rigid. _Oh, __no_. This could not be good. "Would you care to explain to me why I was told that you not only refused a certain gentleman last night, but also did not even allow him to speak with you."

I felt Angela step away and watched her gather up some things before leaving the room. _Stay_, I wanted to plead. I did not want to face him alone.

"Father, please…"

"You knew that he wished to speak with you. This match was more than we could have hoped for now that… There are very few who I would consider for my only daughter, but Jasper is the best choice we have now. How could you refuse him, Isabella?"

"To be precise, he did not really _ask_ me—"

"Then you will give him another chance." He said calmly.

My eyes had been firmly fixed on my hands, until now, when they flew up to where Father stood. "What?"

"You will finish dressing and go to him this instant—"

"But—"

"—Tell him that you have changed you mind, and you would be grateful to listen to his request—"

"I cannot—"

"—and that you accept him. You will do this, Isabella."

"No. You cannot impose this upon me." I knew I was gaining his wrath, but I could not find it in me to care.

"I can, and as your Father and King, I am. You are no longer a child, Isabella, and the time is now to see you learning the matters of state. I cannot allow these irrational ideals you have to hinder what must be done. Beginning with a proper marriage. You have a responsibility to this family, to the crown, and to our people."

"No. I have a responsibility to myself. To my heart, first."

His tone turned angry. "There is no argument! I am the King, and you are my child. You will obey me. Do you understand?"

"I do not! How can I?" I shouted.

"Because it is your responsibility. You are a princess!" His anger was at its peak when he sighed suddenly, at once tired from our dispute. I was almost sorry for it when he sat on the arm of one of the chairs near the fireplace, rubbing his eyes tiredly. My eyes returned to my hands once more. "I know it must be difficult, precious, but we cannot afford to take chances on frivolous matters such as feelings or wishes. You think it cruel of me, but you must understand… I am not going to be here forever, and your mother and I want to make sure you're taken care of. That your place here is secure. That cannot happen without a marriage, Isabella. Or an heir."

_Gulp. __An __heir._

"Believe me, sweetness, I do not wish to give you away so soon, but it is for the best. This is not meant to be a terrible thing. Jasper is a good man. He will be your greatest friend and ally…and eventually more. You must do this. For your mother and I."

Tears were stinging my eyes. Did it matter if I said no? Father would have his way no matter my feelings, and for some reason I felt terrible for making him upset when he already had the pressure of ruling a kingdom on his shoulders. I did not think he even really considered me important. But suddenly, I was.

_Well, the marriage is, anyway._

I knew I could not marry Jasper, but I did not wish to cause my parents such trouble. So I did the only thing I could at present: I pretended.

"Very well. I will go and speak with him." I would speak with him, but that would be all that would come of this.

Father looked up, smiling slightly at my apparent acceptance of his wish and nodded. "Good. I know you feel…uncomfortable right now, Isabella, but it will be a good thing. You will see. I know Jasper will make you happy…"

As I noticed his encouragement suddenly trail off, I lifted my eyes slightly from the sight of my hands just in time to see him lift a piece of clothing from where it had been lying on the floor. I froze, realizing that it was dark blue and clearly a man's shirt, too large to belong to me. It was _Edward__'__s_ nightshirt, which I had cast to the floor earlier. I realized with horror that I had never thought to hide it. And now it lies in my father's hands as he levels me a confused, suspicious look.

"Isabella?"

My throat became dry. My cheeks were burning. I felt faint. But I could not take my eyes from the blue fabric.

"What is the meaning of this?"

_Say __something! _My mind shouted.

…But what could I say? There was no reason I could give him that could make sense of it. I blinked several times, hoping in vain that it would somehow disappear, instead.

"Well?" He demanded.

"I…I—"

"Oh! I believe that is my error, Your Majesty."

We both turned to look at my maid, who was clearly oblivious to the tension in the room. She had only just returned it seemed, and was now bravely making her way to Father to inspect the shirt—as if she had seen it before—and nodded her head.

"Yes, Sire, I was mending it for… Mr. Edward. I must have left it here when I came to tend my Lady." The lie was nearly flawless, given so calmly, almost making me believe it.

"Edward?" Father was not so easily swayed as he looked between the two of us. "And why would you take on such a labor? When we have others to mend and sew?"

"Well, Your Majesty, it was a simple tear he had mentioned in passing and I was glad to be of use to he who also serves my Lady. It was such a small task and I was happy to do it."

To my utter shock—which was already heightened to an alarming rate—Father handed her the garment, sighing dejectedly. "Hmph. See that it does not happen again. Dangerous conclusions may be made from such mistakes." His voice was stern, and he watched her apologize and go with contempt, muttering "servants" under his breath.

She turned to me, just before leaving, nodding slightly with a small smile, and I suddenly realized what it meant. Why she had just lied for me…

Angela knew.

I did not know when or how or what, but it was quite clear that she knew something of my true relationship with Edward. She had _lied_ to protect our secret. And not just from anyone…she lied to the _King_. Hundreds of questions invaded my thoughts, but I would have to wait for the answers.

"Well, well, well, it appears that someone has an infatuation with your Guard," Father chuckled.

"What?" This morning was getting curiouser and curiouser. "You think that Angela…?"

"Oh, I know the signs, Isabella. Women often will do almost anything to attract a man."

"Well, she isn't," I snapped.

"Oh?"

I turned away, pretending to examine myself in the mirror. "Do you not have other business to attend to?"

"Yes. I suppose I do." He began walking toward the door, "But I will expect to hear that you have done as expected before the day is out."

I nodded, too upset to speak.

Then he was gone and I set to thinking.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

As I sat in the carriage, I could see that Angela was clearly nervous in my presence: unsure of her actions now that we were alone. I had more troubling concerns than her comfort at the moment, but, first things first. "Thank you."

She looked up in astonishment. "My Lady?"

"For this morning? I am in your debt, it seems."

She shook her head. "No, no, my Lady. 'Twas nothing that merits any thanks."

"Oh, nonsense. Of course it does. …I did not realize that you were so loyal to me. Nor that your perception was so keen."

"I hope you will pardon my forwardness, but I did not wish to see you so troubled. I acted without thought I'm afraid."

"And I am glad for it. But I must ask… How do you know about…this matter?"

She hesitated.

"Go ahead. You may speak freely."

"W-well, I cannot say for certain, my Lady. I suppose I have noticed it many times in the way you watch each other. The affection in his gaze toward you and his words when speaking of you… The smile you bear in his presence. I am not sure I have seen anything of the like. It is…quite romantic."

Once again, I made a realization in that moment, seeing that Angela had witnessed far too much between Edward and me. She had been the one to find us when Edward had rescued me from Demetri's hand. She had seen my joy at having him as my escort for his celebration ball. Who can know how many other moments where Angela noticed our true fondness for one another. Even if she had misinterpreted it somewhat.

"No. Not romantic… Troubling is the more proper word." If she had seen this, had anyone else, and thought the same? I closed my eyes, suddenly more worried than before. "And the others? Does anyone else know?"

"I have never spoken of it, my Lady. Nor shall I. And I have not heard of anyone speaking of such speculations." She was eager to please me, telling me right away.

A held breath left me as fears began to calm. I opened my eyes and could see that she was speaking the truth. If there was any malice in her knowledge she no doubt would have already made her threats. But there was none. Only concern.

I nodded. "That is good to hear."

There was a pause of silence before Angela spoke once more. "My Lady? I know it is forward of me to say this, but I wish you to know that I have always appreciated your kind words and disposition. I am and will always be loyal to you, and I will serve you as best as I am able."

Her words were quiet and heartfelt. A smile was born from them, and I felt as though a strange weight had been lifted, knowing that there was at least one person in this world who knew, and did not think it such a taboo and scandalous relationship. I was even more grateful to her for this, and the air of the small space was more comfortable until I remembered where I was headed.

Suddenly each bump of the carriage made my stomach flip with uneasiness as I drew nearer to the barracks. I was not happy to be lying to Jasper, but there was no use for it. The only thing I could do now was to keep myself from suspicion and figure out a way to make Edward change his mind.

I could not afford to wait for him to understand, but there was the possibility he would act now that Father was forcing our hands.

I found Jasper on the field fairly quickly. "Captain Whitlock?"

He turned at the sound of my calling, but I could see the shock of my presence had startled him. "Your Highness." His greeting was cold, unsure. "May I be of some assistance?"

"I… Yes. Um, may we speak privately?"

"Of course."

He led the way back to the stone building, and I could feel almost every eye in the field upon us. I was fairing well in not looking up, until I felt _his_ eyes and met them without thought. I could not bear to face the questions in them and hurried along to have this horrible ordeal finished.

Jasper and I were now sitting opposite each other in a small room that appeared to be some sort of study. I had yet to speak.

"May I offer you anything to drink?"

"Um, no. No, thank you."

He nodded.

The silence lingered on. To say it was awkwardly unpleasant would be understating the matter.

I just had to say it. It did not mean I would go through with it, and Jasper would understand… I hoped.

"Jasper, I—"

"Isabella—"

We both smiled—still uncomfortable—having spoken at the same time. "Please," I said, "Go ahead. I insist."

"…I just wanted to apologize. For last evening. I…I did not mean to be so forward with you."

"Oh, no I, can understand why you were. I mean, not that you _were_ forward, but that I was so rude."

"No, I should have listened to you." He paused, "Instead of making a fool of myself."

There was more silence for a moment before I got up the courage to speak once more. "Well, Jasper, I came here to apologize about last night, and tell you that I was too hasty in leaving. My father tells me that you have spoken with him, and…" _Just __say __it._ "I would be glad to accept your offer. If it still stands, that is."

Jasper seemed to be in shock of some sort, before he was suddenly kneeling beside me. "I-I-I…Yes, of course. It would give me great honor, Isabella." The beautiful smile upon his face was causing me great anxiety and sickness. I could only nod to his affirming words before finally being able to excuse myself.

I barely made it out the door without weeping. The mere _thought_ of agreeing to be with anyone other than Edward made my heart ache so terribly. Even now I wanted to return and find some way to persuade him to come back with me to the palace. I was almost near the carriage when I heard quick footsteps behind me. I supposed that I had been quick to leave, but I had no intentions of lingering any longer than necessary. This was what I was going to tell Angela, but instead I found Edward in her place. His breathing was labored, and he seemed upset. _No_, I thought, _not __yet._

"Why are you crying?"

"I… What are you doing here?" I did not mean to sound so cross, but he cannot demand such answers when we were not alone.

"I might ask you the same, Your Highness."

Indeed. But it was a conversation best suited away from others. I did not know how he would react, and there was no doubt I needed him to understand the short time we had left to escape, and so I made him ride back to the palace with me, hoping that he would finally agree to my wishes.

I steeled my nerves as we reached the palace and I had taken no more than two steps when Father had called to me, no doubt wanting his information. I sent Edward to change his clothes, since he did not have a chance to clean up before his unexpected departure, and turned back to my father's reproachful stare.

"I presume you have corrected the matter as I have asked?"

I nodded. "Yes, Father. He was most kind and happy to see that I had reconsidered his proposal."

The air of joy exuded from his answering grin. "Wonderful, my sweet. Then we shall announce it at once." With this declaration, he continued on his way, seemingly satisfied.

But I was not. "At once? Oh Father, surely there is no need of that."

"Of course. The Autumn Solstice celebration is but a week away. Yes, a wonderful moment to let our subjects know of our happiness."

One week.

This was all the time I had left.

And Edward still tried to push us apart…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_How __dare __he!_

My room was in chaos. My hair is still dripping. My thoughts are angry. I can hardly breathe in this space. Yet, I stay. It seems to be best at the moment.

_This __was __not __supposed __to __happen_.

Edward and I should already be gone. But he would not even listen. Not that I truly expected any different. He was too strong willed.

What did he mean, saying I was _'__absolutely __mind-boggling_?_'_ Was it really that difficult to believe that I would choose him over Jasper? I did not think so, but still, Edward was ridiculously insecure.

For some reason, Mother was still here, endlessly speaking about the _good __news_ of my courtship. Mother had taken me upstairs to promptly lecture me about not standing out in the rain, but I barely heard her while Angela and a few others dressed me in something less soggy. She was currently going on about the merits of a proper bride and how I should learn Jasper's preferences for meals and such...

But all I could think about was Edward. I would do any of those things for him. Cook, clean, sew. Of course, being a Princess, I did not know, nor would I ever know, how to do such things. I would have to learn—

My thoughts were suddenly silenced as frightening revelation began to dawn.

Was that the reason Edward did not want me for a wife?

I had no experience in proper domesticated matters, as other girls my age did. There was no use for them if I were to be surrounded by servants throughout my life. Edward even scoffed at the notion that I knew any kind of hardship only hours ago. He's told me that I wouldn't survive it if we were out on our own.

Yet, what if I did learn? What if I showed him that I could be a proper wife? That I could take care of his needs and make a home for us? Would it be enough to change his mind?

It had to be.

"…and you should always lay out an extra set, just in case—"

"Mother?"

She seemed annoyed for my interruption. "Yes?"

"What would you say are the most important things? To being a good wife, I mean. Do most men care more for certain considerations?"

She thought for a moment. "Well, each man is different, but I should think that most would value three main things: a proper meal, a tidy home, and an obedient and well-mannered woman to give him affection and children. Men are simple creatures, Isabella, but while they tend to their important matters, they look to their wives for comfort and care. It does no good to be cross and outspoken. Especially outside of the home."

I listened with renewed interest, taking all her words into account for my behavior. If I were going to prove to Edward that I could do this, it would have to happen in the next few days, prior to the announcement.

A plan began to form in my mind of how I could show him. _And __then __we __could __go_. Edward would have no reason to push me away, then. I would never again have to see the emotions that warred this afternoon, making him so upset and angry, and all so sudden.

"_I__'__ll __kill __him __if __he __touches __you._"

"_Don__'__t __do __it. __Don__'__t __marry __him_."

"_Why __do __you __always __ask __for __the __impossible?_"

"_I __don__'__t __need __to _think _what __I __already _know."

Anger, sorrow, anxiety, arrogance. All blended into one conversation. The constant changes in mood were troubling to say the least. It made my head spin. His demeanor was so aggressive. So angry. I was not even sure he realized the painful strength of his hands around my wrists. And then he kissed me. Making me breathless with the sudden need for his mouth and hands.

Yet it was nothing to compare with the way he ravaged my throat and shoulder.

My fingers traveled up to rest above the blue-purple blot that now adorned the marked flesh. Even now it was still aching, making me think of him. Thankfully, Angela was the only other to see it, gasping softly as my dress was peeled away from my shoulders, directing me to the mirror. Later, I told her I had fallen, which she seemed to believe easily, so I forgot about it. It was only just barely hidden under the fabric of what I had now been dressed in. If any other were to see it, it would be disastrous.

And yet, I strangely found that it was a likable thing to me. Not only that, but I _wanted_ to show his mark. To bear it proudly as though it were a crown or battle scar or wedding ring. Of course, the latter I would have soon enough…

.

.

.

I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening planning how I would go about my newfound mission.

Sitting in my window seat, I decided for a strategic approach, allowing for each trait to be highlighted per day.

The evening stretched on, and I did not even realize how late it was, until I looked up and saw the moon raised at its peak in the sky. It was far past midnight. Edward had not come to me yet…

_He __could __be __still __upset_, I thought.

I had lost my will to be angry, and so I did not think he would be still. I could go to him, I supposed. Though, it had already been a trying day, I was not sure my nerves could fare the darkness at this late hour. So I waited, silently calling to him, hoping he would come. I watched out the window, seeing the stirring of night and the changes it brought. The looming shadows of the trees, the slow creeping of creatures going bump in the night.

It was a long time later that I felt him beside me, though he made no sound. A hand grazed my cheek as I continued to stare outside.

"Tired?"

I nodded.

He carried me to the bed and a moment later I was contentedly lying in the circle of his arms.

"Bella?"

"Hmm…?" Sleep was suddenly close as I breathed in his scent.

"I am sorry."

"Me, too."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_**Sunday.**_

The morning was warm and bright as I awoke, feeling fingers glide along my shoulder while his breath saturated my hair. I leaned backward, longing to be closer, and was pleased when his hand traveled from my shoulder to my waist as he held me nearer.

I knew I had to get up. We both did. But I didn't want to just yet, hoping to savor the moment. …Until Edward sighed, abruptly saddened.

"What's wrong?" I already could guess, sensing the longing and defeat in his touch.

"Nothing… I'm just," he swallowed, "going to miss moments like this."

I blinked, suddenly holding back tears. His words were too weighted, too final.

"They don't have to end." Before he could reply with some foolish comment, I turned around to face him, nuzzling into the crook of his neck and kissing along the flesh there. My plan to show him proper affection and attitude was not due until Wednesday, but there was nothing wrong with an early start. Not to mention that it was quite a pleasant means of distraction.

I continued pecking his throat with kisses and secretly wrapped my arms around his waist next, lightly drawing my nails along his ticklish ribs. _By __accident_, of course.

Edward exhaled a small laugh. "Bella," he warned, leading my hands away.

"What?" I said, feigning innocence.

He saw through my ruse. "Don't give me that look. You know what you're doing."

"And the result?"

He pursed his lips. Then smiled. It was tentative and small, but I took comfort in the idea that what caused his gloom would be gone in less than a week's time.

.

.

.

It was early afternoon when I finally had a moment to myself. Now that I had tended to my familial duties, and telling Edward I would find him later in the day, I decided to officially begin my first day with the task that seemed to be the most simple: cooking. I felt it was a good place to start, since I could work up to preparing something later in the week. But first, I had to have a beginning point.

As soon as I had arrived home from church, I made my way to the kitchen, silently watching from the door as Ms. Cope—or _Cook_, as Edward called her—flitted about, mixing and pouring, chopping and tasting, and consulting with the others who were assisting in whatever meal was being prepared. She was an older woman, plump and wrinkled with frizzy, light brown hair and sharp blue eyes. The kitchen was truly her domain, for there was never a slip or miss in her fluid moments. I had never seen such effortless attention. It made me suddenly wary of what I was about to ask.

She looked up and spotted me at the door. "Your Highness! Come in, come in, my dear!" She nodded her head, which was probably an agreeable alternative to bowing like the others in our service. I wondered if it hurt her back. "How may I be of service today?" She asked, continuing on with her current task of removing the skin from some potatoes. Her face was so kind I did not hesitate but for my own timidity.

Not to mention my face was no doubt red. _Breathe_. "Actually, I was wondering, if I might help you?"

"Help _me_, Your Highness?" She asked, polite but evidently puzzled.

"I mean, help you prepare something? I realize I do not know much about cooking, but…"

Surprise was clear in her features, but was quickly replaced with a simple smile. "Of course, child, come here!" Ms. Cope took my hand as I came closer, patting the back of it fondly. "You wish to learn how to cook?" I nodded. Her smile grew. "How lovely! I should be delighted to help you! Now, let me see… Well, let's first get you an apron. Don't want to ruin that pretty dress, now do we?" She reached for one of the many that hung on a line of wooden pegs on the wall, fastening it around my neck and waist. "Do you know how to boil water?"

Thus began my first lesson in the art of cooking.

So far, I learned how to boil water, peel potatoes, chop a number of vegetables, and was now learning the proper method for making a beef stew—all on my own. Ms. Cope could definitely be the best tutor I had ever had. She was clear in her directions and patient in watching as I added and stirred and tasted, all the while explaining the importance of each ingredient's use and flavor. Her demeanor was always so kind, making small talk as we worked.

"And how is Edward getting along?" She asked eventually, as I had asked for her to forgo any formalities. "Did you know he worked in the kitchen for a time?"

"Did he?"

"Yes, indeed. And such sweet boy he is. I was proud to hear of his promotion, though to be quite honest, I miss seeing him around here, save for when he shows up around suppertime. Between you and me, I think those soldier boys are too rough. He always comes in looking frightful weary."

I smiled, thinking of how Edward had complained at first of the strenuous activity. Since then he had seen it as a challenge, working to best his competitors. He loved being the best.

"What he needs to do is find a nice girl to chase after," she went on, mischief in her smile now.

"Oh?"

"I don't think he's ever once let go and just had some fun. He's much too serious for such a young man. As if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders."

I bit on the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. There was no doubt she knew Edward's character. It was sweet to hear the way she worried over him.

I placed the final touches on the stew once it had simmered, and was quite pleased that I hadn't burnt anything. It all felt so simple, as if I naturally had some skill in doing this.

Ms. Cope echoed my thoughts, complimenting the taste of the stew. "It's lovely!"

I blushed, doubting. "It is only my first attempt." It could not possibly be that good.

"Ah, do I sense disbelief? Very well, the next person to enter this kitchen will be the judge. Then we will have no biases."

"Very well."

Of course _he_ was the one to walk in the kitchen, just as I agreed.

He said nothing at first, distractedly sitting down at one of the long tables across the room, running his hand through his hair. He looked so…distressed. I felt an ache grow in my chest from the sight.

"Ah, Edward!" Ms. Cope called, eagerly ladling a bowl of my stew. "I am so glad to see you, dear. " She handed the bowl to me and nodded toward him.

_Well, __this __is __it_, I thought. Though, I had not supposed that I would be serving him something today.

I placed the bowl in front of him, and when he looked up, it was clear he did not expect to find me. He looked at me strangely before standing up suddenly, "Your Highness, um…" I bit my lip as Edward spluttered, clearly not knowing how to address me in this manner with others around. Luckily, Ms. Cope saved him.

"No need to worry, Edward." She laughed. "The Princess has been learning to cook, isn't that wonderful?"

He looked at me questioningly. "…Yes. Wonderful."

"She's made you a nice stew to eat, so sit back down and try it."

He nodded, taking his seat once more. Edward's eyes were brimming with questions as I had told him I had to attend to some important matters and would find him later in the afternoon. Now, looking out the window, I just noticed that it was already twilight. Clearly, I had some explaining to do.

My whole face was, I'm sure, deep red at this point.

_Why did it have to be him that walked in here?_

Edward returned his attention to the bowl, moving the contents about with his spoon. He glanced up and around before looking at me. _You __made __this?_ He mouthed, skeptical.

I nodded, my bottom lip in between my teeth as I waited for him to taste it. He finally brought a spoonful up to his lips and ate, keeping his eyes down. I held my breath, watching his face for any sort of reaction, when his tongue darted out to lick his lips. To my surprise, he took another spoonful, savoring the taste this time before he swallowed it.

When Edward looked up again, there was a sort of…awe in the way he looked at me. "It's delicious, Your Highness," he said quietly.

A smile slowly spread across my face. "Thank you," I said, just as quietly. I made my way back to my small workspace to clean up, feeling quite accomplished as I watched Edward eat out of the corner of my eye. He never even looked up from the large bowl until it was empty. I smiled even more, knowing he hadn't just said something to make me feel good. He _did_ like it. As was evidenced when he shyly asked for seconds a moment later.

I felt…strange. It made me surprisingly happy, knowing that I could provide a meal for someone else. For Edward. Everything that I had learned up to this point now seemed so utterly useless. But this…this was so different, because I was taking care of his needs. I had a simple purpose that was significant. _I_ was significant, and not because I was a Princess.

It was an empowering feeling.

The smile continued all through the evening, from when I left the kitchen to have my own supper, until I waited for Edward in my bedchamber late that night. He had never seemed so confused when it came to my actions. But even still, he asked me why I had decided to do that over and over again.

"I told you, I just wanted to see what it was like."

"…All right then." He shook his head, though, clearly unsatisfied with my answer.

"You really did like it?"

Edward nodded, unconsciously licking his lips again. "Yeah…Yes. Definitely yes." He smiled.

I threw my arms around him in silent thanks and happiness. One task was now completed.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_**Monday.**_

I awoke with excitement, having confidence that today's venture would be as successful as yesterday's was.

Before Angela had finished dressing me, I asked her if she could teach me to mend and sew.

"Is there something that I can mend for you, my Lady?"

"No, it is not that. I simply wish to learn. It is an important skill, is it not?"

"Well, yes, but—"

"Good then. I would be glad to learn, if you are willing to tutor me."

She eagerly said yes, leaving to fetch the materials I would need to use.

In the mean time, I began straightening my room. It was a simple enough task as I straightened my bed linens and fluffed pillows. I hung up the dress I wore yesterday and just as I finished fluffing the pillows around the window seat Angela returned with a large box of things and a few stray pieces of fabric that were to be used for practice.

.

.

.

I had never been so frustrated in my life.

Sewing was a lot more complicated than I had first thought. What with threading and stitching and binding and all the other things that required a skillful eye. I had no idea what I was doing. Not to say that Angela hadn't instructed me well. On the contrary, I had every confidence in her.

_I_ was the problem.

My seams were often crooked, I had a difficult time getting the thread through the eye of the needle, and I must have stuck my fingers at least a dozen times by now. Pointless to say, I had developed a healthy fear of the small, sharp pins. Of course, this, in turn, made my actions quite slow to finish each task, but after I had learned the fundamental elements, I was ready to be done with it since I had spent a majority of the morning bleeding from my fingers. Angela left me a few pins and thread so that I could practice later on if I wished.

I attended my lessons in the late morning and afternoon before visiting Ms. Cope again to assist her with a strawberry and lemon crème filling. I kept better track of time today, making sure I was able to leave before the day had completely passed by. I took a moment to go back to my room and change for supper and awkwardly joined Mother and Father for a meal that we were apparently not eating alone.

Sir Thomas, his wife Anna, and Jasper were just being seated as I entered the room. The men, of course, stood once more as soon as my presence was known. I sat down, feeling quite uncomfortable to be seated in between my mother and Jasper's mother. Sir Thomas sat on Father's left side and Jasper next to him, watching me with a far too kind expression.

"It is so good to see you again, Isabella," Anna said fondly. "It has been far too long."

"I am…delighted to see you as well." I tried to smile though the growing sick feeling I now had. "I did not know you all were coming."

"Yes, well it was a last minute arrangement, but of course we could not miss the opportunity to visit with you."

She was too sweet. I didn't like it. With every word she spoke I felt more unwell. Probably due to the fact that I was currently lying to every person at this table. I looked around at them all as they talked and gossiped and joked. I noticed all their happy smiles and laughs and suddenly I was wishing there was some way to keep them happy, but knew that I couldn't. Not without making myself miserable.

Finally dessert came and I was thrilled that I would no longer have to endure this torture. I thought it could not get any worse until I realized what we were eating.

A pastry dish, layered with strawberry and lemon crème.

I looked up discreetly, seeing that all of them were quite enjoying the dish, served with fresh whip topping.

"Mmm," Sir Thomas said. "Your cook has outdone herself, Charles."

"Indeed," Father replied, wiping the topping from his moustache. "I usually don't care for desserts, but it is quite good."

Everyone nodded, agreeing with him.

"Isabella? You have been awfully quiet. What do you think?" Mother asked.

"I don't know. I'm having an out-of-body experience right now."

"What?"

"Nothing. Um, yes. It is good." Though I hadn't taken one bite.

I did not think that Ms. Cope would have allowed my little experimenting in her kitchen to ever reach this table. It was so shocking. Not to mention that my mother would be disgusted if she were to discover that I had been in the kitchen, 'where the servants belonged,' as she would say.

Once we had moved to the drawing room I made some small talk and excused myself the first moment I could, feigning a headache.

Moments later I had dressed for bed and made my way to Edward's room, too impatient to wait for his return.

I breathed a sigh of relief coming out of the too-dark catacomb, lighting a few candles to keep me company. I looked around the room, noticing the usual mess Edward had left things in, and decided that I might as well practice cleaning up after him now.

Several garments lined the floor but not all of them were dirty. It was laughable to think that I could tease him for trying on more than one shirt, when he often ridiculed me for taking too long to dress. I shook my head, smiling.

"What are you doing?" A voice came from the door, making me drop the few things I had yet to put away.

I turned to see Edward, just now closing the door behind himself. His features once again showing the surprise I had witnessed yesterday.

"Nothing. I was just…tidying up a bit."

"Yes, I see that. But, why?"

"Because I wanted to see if there was still a floor under all this mess." I said, picking up the things I had dropped.

"You shouldn't make fun, Bella. Besides, I don't need you cleaning for me," he said, taking what I had and throwing it in the closet with little care.

"Don't you?"

Edward narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. He reached up, loosening the top buttons on his shirt. I realized it was another opportunity to show him how I could care for his needs so I went to him, helping him off with his coat. "Uh, thanks." He stepped out of his shoes and sat lazily in the chair near the fireplace, rubbing his eyes warily. I put my hands on his shoulders, attempting to massage the fatigue away when his body went rigid. "What are you doing?" He asked for the second time this evening.

"Giving you a massage?"

He took my hand, pulling me around to stand in front of him. He shook his head. "A massage?"

"Yes… Is that bad?"

"I don't know. You've never given me one."

"Well, there's always a first time…" I said, laughing lightly, hoping to ease the strange tension.

"Why don't you sit with me." He said, pulling me into his lap. "I much prefer having you in my arms." He tucked my head beneath his chin, wrapping his arms tightly around me. I felt his whole being relax.

We sat like this for a long time, contented in each other's embrace while the candles burned down, making the light grow dimmer and dimmer.

"I missed you today," he whispered. His lips brushed along my forehead.

"Truly?"

"Mmhmm…" Lips continued down the side of my face, stopping just beneath my jaw.

I couldn't breathe. He kept moving lower until he was kissing along the length of my shoulder. The warmth of his breath blew across my skin, causing goose bumps. I felt his fingers slide the top of my nightdress away from the edge of my shoulder, exposing the mark he had given me. His kisses had paused. "Bella? Did…did I do this?" He turned my face to his, waiting for my answer.

I nodded.

His eyes closed. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be." I said. His eyes opened, questioning. I leaned to whisper in his ear, "…I like it."

He groaned, placing his mouth over the same place, biting down. I whimpered, twisting in his lap, moving to where I had one leg on either side of his body. The need to kiss him was suddenly unbearable. His fingers pressed into the sides of my hips as I twisted my own into his hair, forcing his lips to mine. And then I gasped, feeling the evidence of Edward's…excitement as he pulled my hips down against him.

His lips stilled, eyes flashing open in shock. "I…uh…" He blinked, shuttering. "…get up, Bella."

For some reason, I didn't move.

"_Now_, Bella."

I stood as quickly as I could at his sharp tone, confused. "Edward?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…uh," he looked anywhere but at me, "maybe you should get in bed."

"Um…okay." I paused. "Are you…"

"Yes. Just…give me a moment."

I climbed into bed, wondering what had just happened. I felt… Actually, I wasn't sure how I felt. A long time later Edward finally climbed in beside me, being careful not to touch me. Nothing else was said as we tried to sleep.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

**_Tuesday_.**

Thoughts of the previous night were constant in my mind as I went about the day with my duties. My piano tutor had to instruct me three times before I actually heard her directions well enough to follow them.

"Is there something the matter with your shoulder?" Mother asked as we sat down to our noon tea.

"No. Why do you ask?"

"You keep placing your hand there, as if it were troubling you."

I looked down, seeing that indeed my hand was rested over Edward's mark. I quickly removed it, feigning ignorance.

All day I had been attempting to discover my feelings about what had happened between us, wondering if I should be appalled or flattered at having proof of Edward's…desire.

Strange flutters filled my stomach at the thought.

I had never doubted that Edward cared for me when he had told me he loved me. When he said that he wanted me. But I guess I hadn't realized just how true it was. How _much_ each kiss and touch meant to him. Or what they were beginning to mean to me.

It was clear to me now why he was so embarrassed for his actions, as they would be considered quite ungentlemanly and vulgar. This is what I _should_ have thought of his deed. But…I didn't. No. I knew the feelings and reasons behind it, whether they were consciously made or not. And after thinking it through, I found that I…_liked_ knowing how much he wanted me in that sense.

Which was why I felt so confused… Because there was an ever growing part of me that wanted him the same way. I _wanted_him to touch me. I finally realized that last night I had actually felt _disappointed_ when he told me to move away from him.

Even now I wanted to be with him, alone, so I could have the chance to kiss him and feel his strong arms around me.

I looked at the clock. It was just after one in the afternoon. There was still two hours to wait before I was planning to get Edward out of his training. I had decided that today I was ready to show Edward that I could be well-mannered and proper, when the occasion called for it. So we were going on an outing. He didn't know that, though. I didn't want him to suspect anything else, since he had already noticed my other pursuits of late.

After thinking and questioning myself for another half hour I decided to just go. It would give us a longer time to be together, anyhow.

I had Ms. Cope prepare some sandwiches for us, giving her the excuse of enjoying a long ride in the forest, which of course must include my Guard.

.

.

.

"Where are we going exactly?" Edward asked from where he and Masen trailed behind.

I could understand his bewilderment, since I had more or less lead us around the outer boundary of the lower cities of Forcelle—the complete opposite direction of where we had ridden on prior outings. Currently, we were somewhere on the outskirts of one of the towns that was next to the kingdom's border.

"Oh, nowhere in particular." I lied, knowing that I wanted to be as far as possible from anyone that would have known my face. We were out here because I wanted to show Edward I could be a normal girl. In front of normal people. That we did have a chance outside of the palace walls.

Eventually, we ran into to a park. If it could be called so, since it seemed to be wilder than any I had been to, with flowers peeking out of the grass in indiscriminate patterns among the tall and wide trees. There were a few people about; a mother was knitting beside her two children, two older men were playing chess along the walkway, a boy walked his collie, and there was a young family having a picnic.

It was a perfect little world out here, and the sun was out—a good omen for my hopes.

I dismounted, eager to find a place to settle on the grass. But before I could even take a step, there was a hand on my arm. I looked over my shoulder to see Edward shaking his head.

"What?"

"Would you like to tell me what you're doing?"

"Taking a break. Isn't it lovely here!" I said, gazing back at the scene.

"No. No, Princess, we're not stopping here."

"_Don__'__t_ call me that." I was thankful that we were far enough from the other people about that they did not hear him, "And why not? What's wrong with it?"

"It's not safe. Besides we're too far from the palace."

I pouted, taking his hands in mine. "Please? Just for a little while? I'm sure the horses could use the rest, and Ms. Cope packed us a large satchel. And besides, no one knows who we are."

"Stop that," he hissed, removing my hold. He surveyed our surroundings and sighed, "All right, fine. But!"—he warned, noticing my smile—"Only for a few minutes. Then we leave. Okay?"

I nodded, throwing my arms around him.

We led the horses to a nearby tree, tying them up. Edward took the blanket I had placed on Síla and spread it out beneath the shade.

I sat down, opening the satchel and laid out the sandwiches that had been provided. I looked up to see Edward was still beside Masen, petting his head as his eyes watched about.

"Edward? Are you not going to join me?"

He was so cross. "No. I told you, we're only staying a few minutes."

"Well, I'm going to need more time than that, so you might as well sit."

"…No. It's improper."

"Why?"

The look he gave me was not amused.

"I told you, no one knows us. Besides, you look silly standing there all by yourself." He shrugged, evidently not persuaded. He was making it far to difficult to be a well-mannered woman. Still, I knew my Edward. I turned my back to him, smiling. "Fine. If you'd rather leave me to sit here, all _alone_ and _vulnerable_…"

There was a sigh followed by the rustling of his clothes as he sat down. I wasn't satisfied to see him so far away, barely on the edge of the other side of the blanket as he leaned back against the tree, but it was enough for now. I just had to get him warmed up to the idea.

I took out my book, handing it to him. "Will you read some?"

There was a moment of shock before he recovered. "You…you still have this?" He asked, taking it from me carefully. He turned it over in his hands with a strained gaze.

"Of course." There was a dark stain that dotted the back corner of its binding now, but even after I had ruined it I knew that I didn't want to be rid of such a precious gift. Alice was still one of my favorite characters. Even if she appeared 'mad' at times. "Read to me. Please?"

"Bella…" He whispered.

"Don't. That's over and done with. Besides, I want to remember good things when I see this, instead of the one bad. Now, come, be a good boy and read."

Edward did, eventually, forget the troubles he had at our surroundings. He read a few chapters of _Alice_ and we enjoyed some of the food despite it being to early for any sort of proper meal. I was pleased to see him a bit more relaxed.

It was a beautiful day, with pieces of the sky shining through the broken cloud cover.

I noticed the other people around us were quite common compared to those I usually had to share my company with. Though it was odd how they stared in our direction from time to time. I could see their curiosity from a mile away, but no one dared come closer.

Except one.

The small family I had seen earlier was still a few dozen feet away from us. The fair-haired mother was tending to the baby in her arms while the father was some distance away, teaching what must have been their eldest son how to fly a kite. There was also a little girl, probably no more than four or five years old, with the same blond hair of her mother. She had been spinning about in her pink dress beside her mother when she caught me watching her.

I turned away to glance at Edward, and when I turned back she was right beside me.

"Hello," she said, shyly.

"Um, hello." I replied a bit startled. The girl continued to stare at me, a small smile on her plump face. "Should you be over here without your mother's permission?" I looked up to see her mother walking toward us.

Her face scrunched up. "I dunno." A pause. "Are you a princess?"

My eyes went wide. Out of the corner of my gaze I noticed Edward become still.

"And why do you ask that?"

"You're real pretty," she said, by way of an explanation. "I like your dress." Her small fingers touched the simple embroidery of my skirt.

She was absolutely adorable.

"Lottie!" Her mother exclaimed as she reached us, clearly embarrassed. "I'm so sorry. She likes to wander."

"It's no trouble. We were just having a nice chat. Would you like to join us?"

"Oh. That's kind of you." She said, sitting beside her daughter. "What with raising two children and caring for our newest addition here, I haven't been out of the house much. I'm Mrs. Jensen, by the way. Catherine. And this is Charlotte—we call her Lottie—and Thomas. My husband, William, is over there with our son David."

"You have a beautiful family." And it was true. "I'm Isabella, and this is Edward."

He nodded politely to Catherine, but I could see him gathering up our things, probably so we could go as soon as possible.

"It's lovely to meet someone new. Are you from around here?"

"Um, not exactly. We were just passing by…" I gestured to the horses.

We made pleasant small talk about nothing in particular, and I found that it was quite enjoyable to speak with someone when they didn't know you were next in line to rule over them. Of course, nothing pleasant could last long it seemed.

"So, Edward," Catherine said, "how long have you two been married?"

He looked up in shock. "I beg your pardon?"

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to be forward. But you are wedded, aren't you? Surely Isabella would be with a chaperone otherwise…?"

"Oh, well actually—"

"It's only been six months." I said quickly, fearing that he was about to correct her assumption. I linked my arm in his. "It's still so strange to believe it, even after such a short time has passed." I laughed, which softened her critical gaze. "Right, sweetheart?"

He swallowed. "…Right."

.

.

.

When we finally rode back toward the palace, I could see that Edward was quite upset with me. The day hadn't turned out as I planned, and I was now worried I had undone some of my progress.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_**Wednesday.**_

"Bella, wake up."

"Hmm…?" Even with my eyes closed I could tell it was far too early to be woken up yet.

"Are you awake?"

"Mmm…"

He chuckled. "I have something to ask you."

"M'kay."

"Will you meet me in the meadow later? After supper?"

I had only been half listening, but at his request I opened my eyes with a clear mind. "Of course. Is there…any reason why?"

"I want to speak with you."

"Oh?" I sat up.

He nodded. "Preferably where we would not be disturbed. Is that all right?"

My heart was suddenly beating faster. "Yes."

"All right, then. Go back to sleep, angel." His fingers brushed across my cheek and then he left, disappearing through the secret wall.

But I couldn't go back to sleep. Not with knowing Edward wanted to speak with me.

_Did __he __figure __out __what __I __was __up __to? __Had __I __convinced __him? __Did __he __change __his __mind?_ I could only hope.

I spent all day thoroughly anxious and distracted until at last I was able to get away from everything.

Thankfully, there was still light peering out from the nearly set sun, twilight making way to dusk. I was glad I had thought to bring a heavier coat, for the fine weather of yesterday had turned quite cold of a sudden, making me shiver.

I found him lying in the tall grass, gazing at the clouded sky.

He didn't move when I laid beside him, except to take my hand in his. I watched the profile of his perfect face for a long time, until the last threads of light faded into darkness and sight was muted to give way to other senses. I closed my eyes, feeling the earth around me. It was so quiet. Peaceful.

I felt Edward turn to me. "Bella?"

"Yes?"

His hand moved from my own, up and around my shoulder, seeking until he could touch my face. "Can I kiss you?"

"You don't have to ask."

His lips were supple, chilled slightly from the night air. There was a sweetness to this kiss; mouths moving leisurely, tenderly against one another. He leaned away again, taking my hand once more, sighing.

"I shouldn't have done that."

"What? Kiss me?"

"…Yes."

"Why ever not?"

"Because I'm selfish. I know I won't get the chance to afterward."

I was thoroughly confused. "After what?"

"After I tell you that… I think it's best if we stop spending time together, Bella. Especially like this. Alone."

There was a long pause as I tried to comprehend what he had just said. I sat up, still trying to understand. _How __could __he __ask __me __to __run __away __if __he __didn__'__t __want __to __be __alone __with __me?_

_Because __we__'__re __not __running __away._

No. No, that couldn't be what he meant. But then, what?

"I don't…understand."

"Bella, please, don't be upset. I know it will be difficult, but we obviously cannot continue as we are now. It's already bad enough that I've kissed you and slept in your bed, but you're going to be…with _him_ now, and I can't go on pretending—"

"Stop." My breaths were suddenly shallow. I felt…faint. "Stop, I… No." I shook my head. I rose up, the need to pace suddenly strong. "No, you're… That's not what you are supposed to say."

"No?"

"_No_." My hands were beginning to tremble. I had heard these words before, and they frightened me.

"Then what am I supposed to say?"

"That—that, you want me. That you can't stand the thought of giving me up. That I'm yours. That… Th-that…" Tears were pooling, ready to fall as Edward held me in the circle of his arms.

"Shh…" He cooed. "Don't cry. Please, Bella. You must realize why—"

"But I don't!" I pulled myself away, angry. "All my life, everyone has told me to be understanding; to listen, to realize, to do whatever they expect me to do without question. They don't care if I understand, Edward. As long as they have control over me, it doesn't matter. And if you _think_ for _one_ second that I'm going to let you—"

"Bella—"

"—do that to us again, you're wrong."

"You know I don't think of you like that!"

"No? Then why are you so eager to push me aside?"

"Uhh! Stop that! I'm not pushing you aside. I'm _trying_ to be reasonable."

"And how _reasonable_ is it to tear us apart?"

"We shouldn't be together in the first place."

"So you've told me. I've already heard it too many times, Edward."

"Yes, but you don't actually _listen_, do you?"

"I cannot when you won't make sense!"

Edward wrapped his hands around the top of my arms. "Why do you always do this?"

"What?"

"Throw a fit! It's like I'm arguing with a child!"

"I'm _not_ a child!"

"Then stop acting like one, and grow up!"

"Don't treat me like one, and there won't be any excuse!"

He growled. "I just want to do the right thing, Bella. Why does that make me so terrible?"

"Because it's not the right thing _for __us_!" He shook his head, releasing me as he stepped back and away. "We shouldn't be here! There's no reason to stay! I want a life Edward, with you. I want to make you happy. I even learned how to keep a proper home for us. But you won't give me the chance."

He looked at me in disbelief. Then scoffed. "I guess it makes some sense now. …The cooking? Cleaning? The park yesterday? _That_ was the motivation for your strange behavior this week?"

I was suddenly feeling vulnerable as he scrutinized me.

"You… You said I wouldn't survive, before. I…wanted to show you I could do it. That I could be good enough…"

He came close again, his fingers lifting my chin. Somehow, I could still see his eyes flash with pain, even in the growing darkness. "Oh, Bella. How could you think such a thing? I'm already in love with you, silly girl. How could you think I'd want you to change in any way when you're already so perfect?"

Rain began to fall lightly around us, and with it, my tears. It felt as though my emotions were out of my control. Still, I was upset. He didn't make sense.

"Then why won't you take me away? If you _love_ me…why won't you fight for me, Edward…? Why don't you want me?"

I buried my face in his chest, too frightened of his answer to look at his face.

But I could feel the growing frustration in every part of him. "That's just the problem, Bella. You made me fall in love with you, without even trying." The sweetness was suddenly gone, replaced by pained depth. Hands, cold and hard, pushed me away from his chest. "And every second of every day since your thirteenth birthday I've lived in agony, wondering when and to whom I was going to lose you. All the while you've been oblivious to what I've been through. I've tried to be complacent, to push you away, to hold you close, and even now I'm struggling with the thought of stealing you away in the night. But we both know that they would discover us, and there's only so much I can take, Bella, before I snap."

I hadn't realized we were walking backward until I felt the rough bark of a tree suddenly holding me in place. "If I made you my wife, if I had you the way I wanted you…" He licked his lips, "_Nothing_—_no __one_—would take you from me. I would do whatever it took to keep you. Even if it put blood on my hands."

He was so close, my every breath sustained from his mouth.

"Do you understand me, Bella? Do you understand what I would do with them? The soldiers? Jasper? Even your father? Compared to you, they mean nothing."

Every inch of me shivered from his words.

"I know you don't love me, Bella. So leave, and be thankful for it. Go back to your cozy room, crawl in that big, soft bed and forget me, just like you know you should.

"GO!"

I did. I ran and ran until I had reached my room, tears falling as I wept uncontrollably. I shut the door and locked it, keeping everything out. I couldn't breathe. My heart felt as if it would leap out of my chest.

I wanted to hate him, I wanted to hurt him like he had hurt me. I wanted to scream at him!

But there was still the terrible truth that rang clear in all my pain…

I still wanted him.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

**_Thursday_.**

I didn't sleep, having no need or desire to do so. Instead I thought. I thought about everything he had said and done over and over again. Then I thought about my own words and actions.

There was no question in my mind that Edward had meant every word he had spoken. And though I had felt frightened and hurt, I found that it didn't matter. For some reason I still couldn't comprehend the need I felt for him. Only that if I lost him, my life would be over. Empty. Shattered. There was not one reason I could think of that outweighed being with him. I would risk anything…

Perhaps _Alice_ and I had something in common.

The sun rose slowly, bringing me the warmth and confidence I needed to think of what to do now. How to show him I understood his words, and that they had changed nothing.

The Autumn Solstice would begin Saturday morning.

I only had one full day left.

The plan came to me quickly, but having no experience I would have to find some literature, as I couldn't very well ask for help in this particular situation. I finally allowed Angela in to prepare me for the day, now that I had some direction to focus upon.

And when I was ready, I would go to him.

Tonight, I would finally belong to Edward.

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**A/N: As always, sorry for the delay! Pictures of the palace kitchen, the park they visit (minus flowers), Lottie's dress, and Bella's park dress are on my LiveJournal (Link on my profile). **

**Now, for the horrible trouble I have with scheduling, I am going to attempt to set a 3-week specific date in order to try and make posting a more definite task so I don't keep you all waiting for so long. So, 24 will be up *crosses fingers* by October 1st! That's my goal. Hopefully I'll stick to it! If I can for a few chapters, then I'll try and go back to regular 2-week updates.**

**I hope you all had a great time these last few weeks of summer. Who's already looking forward to the holidays? I am! :D **

**Ps. (Since I can't write back to you guys,) Big thanks to messy and flavia for their kind reviews for the last chapter. :)**

**Please review! Thanks!**


	24. Release

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Special Happy Birthday shout out to eli-rose, who said I had to make the posting date since it was her birthday! And another Happy Birthday shout to TeamEdwardKat whose birthday is soon! Hugs and kisses! Sorry I'm two days late, but hey, not too shabby right? This chapter is dedicated to you both! (Sorry.)**

**Oh, quick note on the last chapter about Bella's so-called cleaning methods: Yes, I know she didn't really do anything but straighten up, but you gotta remember that (a) she only wanted to start out small, (b) she has to be discreet so no one takes notice and tells on her, and (c) she _is_ a princess and thus is usually not around when the servants wash windows or mop floors, so she doesn't even realize what goes into _real_ cleaning. Hope that clears things up.**

**WARNING: I know some of you will probably say, "what the heck was that warning for?" But just as a precaution, there is some sexual... tension going on in this chapter. ;)**

**Last ****time, ****on ****Crown ****Games:** Bella spends the week learning some new things in order to prove to Edward that she's ready to be a wife. They fight, and Bella learns the real reason Edward doesn't want to run away with her.

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Chapter 24 – Release

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EPOV

If there was ever a time in my life that was truly worse than this, I was at a loss to recall it as I watched her run away from me.

I clutched the rough tree bark, forcing myself to stay in place and not go after her. Not to draw her back into my ever-darkening thoughts and desires.

Bella had been relentless in her attempts at wearing my resolve down. I did not understand her endeavors this past week at the onset, but now it was clear that she was still set on having a life with me outside of the Palace.

_Until __now_.

Uh!

I knew something was not right when I found her in the kitchen earlier this week. She seemed too pleased. Normally, I would be happy for this, but considering the current circumstances, I knew it was not merely the distraction she claimed it to be. Bella always had a certain purpose behind her actions, and these past few days were no exception.

Though the more troubling problems came from those whom I was forced to surround myself with during my continued training.

Since Bella had spoken with Jasper, there was not a single soldier that had not heard about it. Monday brought whispers and rumors, making me wonder why women were the ones considered to be gossipers. And then there were those bold enough to speak of it with the Captain himself on the matter. He simply laughed at their guesses and gave them only a knowing smile in response, encouraging them.

Though with Jasper not speaking of the subject, there were those that soon realized my own connection to the Princess, and began to question my knowledge. Thankfully, they soon lost interest when I had no sordid particulars to proffer.

Still, I had to restrain myself from thoughts of murder each time the opportunity presented itself. And in the following days, that restraint did not only apply to Jasper.

Tuesday had already began with a sleepless night, since I had thoroughly humiliated myself with Bella. Pulling her against me like that had not been a conscious decision to say the least, but having her in my lap…her warm breath whispering that she _liked_ the way I had abused her skin…feeling her soft lips…

No. There were no choices, only savage instinct.

I berated myself all night, forcing back the less than noble thoughts while resisting the urge to touch her.

Needless to say, I was in a poor disposition by morning.

In the armory, voices were chattering away as usual, but from where I inspected my effects, there were certain voices that carried.

"So it is true then?" One said.

"Have you been living beneath a rock? Of course it is," another spoke.

"The Captain has been smiling like a fool for days now." A third voice replied.

"Yeah," the second laughed. "You'd think he already had _more_ than a agreement from her."

"I'd like more than an agreement from her."

"Come off it. A girl like that needs a real man, not a whelp like you."

"And, what? You think she would get on her knees and beg for someone like you?"

"Now, now, gentlemen. We both know who could woo her proper…me."

"You?"

"What?"

They fought this way back and forth, seeking to give proper wounds to their unfortunate egos before they ended in a draw, laughing about the whole argument.

Repulsive. I tried not to listen, but when it came to Bella, I could not help the matter. Hearing vulgar remarks such as these were a commonality when being around the others, one I had loathed quite thoroughly. But this went too far, as was evidenced when I found myself glaring toward them, my would be victims.

One of them clearly sensed their imminent death as they looked up to meet my eyes. The first nodded to the others, who also took in my silent promises, and they dispersed, clearly indisposed to the idea of leaving this world so soon.

The day progressed no better than the morning, and despite the awkward feelings between us, I must admit my exuberance at seeing Bella when she came to collect me for a ride through the woods.

I should have realized what she was planning then, but for some reason I didn't. Still too distracted from the imbeciles I had to train with. Not to mention my annoyance that we had ridden so far into the lower towns. I had not forgotten what had happened with Mrs. Stanley and therefore trusted no one when it came to Bella's safety. Only out of sheer devotion did I indulge her.

And then that little girl spoke to her, watching with a sweet innocence as she complimented Bella. They smiled at each other easily.

I didn't know why, but for some reason this image brought a strange ache to my chest. A…longing.

Perhaps because I knew I would see this image of Bella again in the future, only with a child her own…

I gathered up our belongings, not wanting to think about such things while Bella decided to make small talk with the girl's mother. It was harmless until the woman assumed that we were married. And Bella not only allowed her misconception, but encouraged it! They talked of bouquets and churches and bridal gowns. It made me ill to hear Bella make up our wedding details. I knew her well enough to know when she pulled ideas from the top of her head, but as I heard her speak… I found myself wondering if it had happened.

Clearly, Bella had thought this through for a reason.

The thoughts behind her strange behavior puzzled me through our ride home and into the night. How could she still think of such nonsense? By the end of this week she would publicly be seen as Jasper's intended, and at the finish of their one-year courtship would be a short engagement and…marriage. She should not be the one holding on to me. I thought she would have accepted it.

After she had told me, and I had thoroughly adapted to the tear in my heart, I forced myself to acknowledge the truth: I only had a few days left. I aspired to see them through without focusing on what the end of those days meant, only to slowly disengage myself from my utter dependence on the one person I had in this world. But with the constant presence of babble on the ever-threatening subject, I found myself growing more attached and unwilling to let go of her.

Finally, I had been brave enough to at least speak to her of what I thought was best, which was evidently the wrong conclusion, since I watched her grow pale with my words. And then the battle of wills commenced, just as I had anticipated.

It was always the same argument with her.

I couldn't stand it, hearing her accuse me of controlling her, of being weak. She actually _questioned_ my love for her…and the building irritation of the past three days spilled over, forcing words and thoughts to spill from my lips that were never meant to be spoken.

Of course she realized the horror of my words, finally understanding what I could be capable of when it came to having her. I hadn't even fully realized it myself until the clarity of that moment, how dark and selfish a creature I truly was.

Because I did want her. Every single part. To cherish, love, covet, devour… There was not one moment I did not struggle beneath the surface of my emotions. Emotions that she both encouraged and berated.

I felt as though I was at the edge of a great precipice; one errant step and my control would perish. I could not afford a slip. Yet, Bella danced along the boundary happily, all the while daring me to jump.

The night passed slowly as I attempted to regain focus and perspective. By the time morning came I was relieved to finally have some useful employment. Even if it meant that I would be around those I had come to loathe in the past few days. Sadly, though, it did not rid me of my growing frustration and anger as I would have liked.

Most were preparing for the annual Tournament the day after tomorrow. The Autumn Solstice was celebrated each year with the royal family hosting a carnival of sorts, with carts of food and treats, games and toys, and the prestigious Sword Tournament, in which the winner would be the praised and honored victor of the festival.

It was a silly tradition, continued from the past centuries when the Tournament tested the skill, honor and bravery of the King's Knights. Presently, it was open to any nobleman but did not hold such weighted ritual. I knew not of one in the whole of my fellow soldiers who did not intend to participate. Well, with the obvious exception of myself.

Even the King had participated in years past, when he was a younger man. And he had been victor for several years until retirement. At present, there was one who had won the Tournament the past four years and made himself quite the adversary of everyone; Jasper.

Of course, I had to learn this information from the others around me, since Bella and I usually stole away from the festivities and played in the meadow, where we went unnoticed. Or, at least _I_ went unnoticed. Mrs. Stanley did not take to looking for her missing charge in the crowds of people very well, poor woman…

It was nearly nightfall before I was finally spent and decided to return to the Palace. I did not wish to go, but having nothing else to occupy my mind, it was the only option.

I moved quickly, hoping to retreat to my chamber without seeing the object of my madness. Of course my wish would go unheeded.

As I turned a corner, my body came in contact with none other than Bella, causing her to stumble backward and nearly fall as I reached out to steady her.

She looked up, shocked. "Edward…" Her eyes were wide as she stared at me, and I could see evidence of the sleepless night I had caused her.

"I'm sorry, I did not see you."

"Nor I you…" She blinked and looked away.

Guilt warred with resolve. "Are you…well?" It was a foolish question.

She murmured something I could not hear. I would have thought her upset or frightened of me, but she was suddenly blushing, a deep scarlet covering her face and throat. "I…um, I should be going." And then she was gone, promptly turning out of my hands and walking past me.

_Well __done_, I thought. _You've __finally __managed __to __push __her __away_.

Taking a deep breath, and ignoring that thought, I continued until I was finally in my room, pacing and thinking as though I were a beast in a cage. I felt as such, as I thought over and over again about Bella and that blush.

Eventually I resolved to go to bed, hoping it would be possible…

Time moved slowly as I laid in bed... Somewhere in the Palace a clock struck midnight, and I realized that I had been lying here for nearly three hours.

I was attempting to sleep… Honestly.

But I couldn't get _her_ out my mind. It was as if my own mind taunted me now with thoughts of her, knowing what I wanted but couldn't have. And thus, sleeping seemed to be useless as I stared at the ceiling with another sigh, watching the candle beside my bed flicker light across the ceiling. I was so weary...

"Still awake?" a familiar voice asked tentatively. I leaned up suddenly, resting on my elbows to see Bella, standing at the foot of my bed. Her head was bowed, one hand clutching her robe as she ran her fingers along the bedpost.

I nodded, lifting a hand to rub my eyes, and then remembered that she was not actually looking at me. "Yes. My body is tired, but I guess my mind does not wish to oblige…"

She hummed, but it seemed absent, as though she were in thought.

My mind seemed more sluggish than I must have guessed, but I finally realized that she shouldn't be here. This was not supposed to be happening between us any more. How could I keep my resolve if she wasn't going to have the decency to stay away from me? I couldn't let her stay. Was that what she wanted? She shouldn't. Not after what I had confessed… But then, what did she want? I was suddenly and thoroughly exhausted from the misery of knowing I had to push her away once more.

"What are you doing here?" I finally asked after a length of silence, "I thought I told you this—"

"I know." She said quickly, "I…know. I just… There was something I wanted to tell you…to show you…" she trailed off before slowly looking up at me through her lashes. Her cheeks were turning pink again.

"And… What-was that?" I said, feeling nervous all of a sudden from her gaze.

"I _am_ ready to grow up," she said, her voice a deep whisper in the dark. I tried to make sense of her words as she pulled at the sash of her robe, slowly letting it open and drop to the floor. My eyes rested upon her form and I felt my mouth fall open.

Her nightdress was…different from what she usually wore: deep green…and…_gulp_…short_. __Very __short_, barely covering her thighs. I had seen her wear the color before, but never like this, with…_so __much_ on display. It was nothing like the full-length, white cotton of her usual attire. This looked as to be made of silk and had been severed with little care, the arms and most of the skirt cut away. The contrast of the dark fabric against her pale, porcelain skin was staggeringly beautiful, especially with the blush that covered her cheeks. I watched now as the left shoulder of the garment slid down her arm, exposing the now faded mark I had given her, while she climbed onto the bed. She crawled toward me until she was finally sitting in my lap, her long, pale legs resting on either side of my body.

I had forgotten how to think.

My breathing was ragged suddenly as we stared into each other's eyes. I blinked then, only now discerning the stinging feeling from keep them open for so long.

She leaned closer, biting her lip while her fingers toyed with the buttons of my sleep shirt, moving from the top to the bottom before dipping beneath the hem and drifting across my stomach, sending a shudder through me.

Finally, my mind had caught up to her words. _She __didn't __mean__…__?_ I brushed her hands away and sat up properly in an attempt to gain some balance. "B-Bella, what are you doing?"

She did not answer, only leaned in and kissed me, softly at first, but more confidently passionate with each passing second, our lips meeting over and over again. I felt lightheaded as we kissed, the idea of stopping her forgotten in the taste of her mouth. Then, pulling back just enough to speak against my lips, she whispered, "I know you want me, Edward. I want you, too. I _need_ you." Her hands were touching my bare chest, and I realized that she had somehow unbuttoned my sleep shirt. "Make love to me."

. . .

When I didn't form an answer, her lips encompassed mine again, her tongue tasting, while her fingernails began to carve burning trails down my chest and stomach, and moving…lower.

I seized her wrists, halting her movements and breaking the kiss. "N-No," I gasped, finally making sense of her plea. But her lips continued along my jaw, undeterred. It felt so good. _Too__good_. My mind was beginning to spin.

There was not much time; if I did not act now, I wouldn't remember why I needed to stop her.

"Bella, please." My voice was weak. "…s-stop. Stop it." It was like she could not hear me, or pretended not to, as she pressed her body closer and rocked her hips against me. I groaned, my fingers releasing her wrists and wrapping reflexively around the top of her thighs. _Gulp_. Her _bare_ thighs, where the edge of her dress had risen. But…did that mean…?

_Oh, no._

_No, no, no, no, no._

My hands slipped under the edge of her nightdress without my permission then, seeking what I had already guessed. Bella whimpered at my touch and lifted herself up for only a second, making it easier for me to touch more of her skin. My hands reached her hips with no interference. My hopes and fears were confirmed. _There __was __nothing __underneath __her __dress_. "Oh, god," I choked out as we suddenly fell back onto the sheets. Her hands went into my hair, forcing my lips back to hers as she continued her efforts to bend my will to her own.

And it was working; my body was responding to her every advancement, the traitor it was. I took every kiss given, holding her closer as my finger tips dug into her flesh, feeling her shiver as my hips began to move against her own. Her hands moved to my waist, attempting to do away with the rest of my clothing.

_No, __no, __no_. _This __is __not __right_, I chanted to myself, moving her hands higher. If I could only remember why…

I had to fight.

_Mine_.

Wrong. So wrong.

_But__so__good_.

No.

"Bella," I said against her lips, "Wait. You—_ugh_—you, you don't want this." Though, I was unsure of whom I was trying to convince more.

She looked at me. "I do. I want you. All of you, Edward." Her eyes were so dark, but also lighter, and burning with the echo of her words. "Take me, touch me." She moved my hands back to her legs as she spoke, kisses punctuating each affirmation. "Show me you want me. Show me you love me, Edward. Tell me I'm yours. _Make_ me yours." Her lips continued their attack: crushing, biting, licking…drawing my bottom lip into her mouth.

_Make me yours…_

Her words echoed in my mind, and then I remembered… She wasn't mine. Not anymore. The heat of the moment ran cold as defeat consumed me and reason was restored. "No. _No_, Bella, this has to stop. Now."

She licked her swollen, red lips. "Never." Her kisses resumed more forcefully as she continued to rock her body against me. I struggled to break free, even as I kissed her back. How did she become so strong?

Or was it I, who was so weak?

Finally, I rolled us over, holding her arms above her head while the rest of my weight trapped her body beneath me. The only movement now was the rapid rise and fall of her chest between us.

I stared into her hungry eyes, trying to understand why this was happening.

"Please, Edward. Kiss me. Please. Don't stop. Not now." She was begging, frantically pleading, as she tried to take back the control, squirming beneath me without success.

"Just…stop!" The sight of her writhing beneath me did not help... I held her firmly until she finally gave up fighting me. I tried to breathe more deeply.

What was happening here? This could not be possible. "Why are you doing this to me, Bella?" She didn't behave like this. She could not want this. "You do not want this. Or me." Not this way. "You…you don't love me—" she began shaking her head, trying to interrupt, "—I know you don't, so stop it. So, what is this? A game? Hm? Or are you _trying_ to push me over the edge? Answer me!"

Bella stared into my eyes, her own now blinking back tears as she shook her head. I tried not to think of how beautiful and perfect she was. "I need you, Edward. I do want this, want you. Always. Please Edward… Don't stop. _Please_, not now. Let me show you. Please…" I must have relaxed my grip as one of her hands slid around to the back of my neck, pulling my lips down to hers before I realized that I was once again caught in her snare. Only this time it was impossibly even more difficult to pull away, and the kiss became a slow burn, stronger and more passionate, desperate. Reason had begun to dissipate further as Bella lifted her leg, hitching it over my hip as I leaned into her body.

I was fighting a losing battle. Somehow, Bella had figured out what her body was capable of inciting. She fully understood the power she had, and was using every bit of it against me.

_More_. Dark thoughts still loomed as I struggled with Bella's demands. _Take__her.__Mine,__all__mine._ It would be so easy. _She __wants __it. __Begging __for __it_. But…but… Ah!

The storm was rising in my mind and I had to choose.

Was this it, then? The moment where my future was decided? Could I do it? Could I take what I wanted and have the one thing I sought after in this world, even if it was wrong? Make her mine? Take her for my own?

But I already knew the answer.

My fingers held her closer as I moved my lips to her ear, breathing harshly as I attempted to form the words... This was it. But I had to give her this one last chance. I had to make sure. "Tell me to stop, Bella. Tell me that this is wrong and that I can never have you… I won't ask again. Tell me now, before it's too late."

She swallowed. "I… I cannot. I _won't_. I want you too badly."

I looked into her determined eyes before closing the distance between our lips, pouring every emotion I felt into this final kiss…

"Wrong answer, love." I broke away then, moving to sit at the edge of the bed. Pain and torment were already growing in my chest.

"Edward?"

_Forgive __me._ "I am sorry, Bella, but I am not willing to use you for my own selfishness. I—I…," _Gulp_. "You need to leave."

"…No." She whispered in disbelief, crawling forward to try and pull me back, "No, Edward. Please, don't say that... Please?" Desperation seeped into her voice. She threw her arms around me, the heat of her skin working against me. "Tell me what you want. Tell me, and I will do it, please, Edward. Anything. All I have is yours; all I _am_ is yours. Do not make me beg any longer… I need you." Her lips descended to my neck. I tried to stifle the groan that escaped. _So__good_—Ah! _No_. This had to stop.

I moved her hands away and stood then, walking unsteadily to where I had left my long coat and began to button it over my exposed torso, avoiding her gaze. There was movement behind me, but thankfully it sounded as though she had remained on the bed. She spoke after a second, upset now, "What—where are you going?" I said nothing. "Edward? …You promised me. You cannot leave me."

"Why are you doing this to me? Torturing me so cruelly?" I asked again, still unable to meet her eyes.

"That is not my wish."

I laughed without humor. "No? Then why do you persist? Why do you not understand?" I knew she didn't. She couldn't. That's why she used my feelings against me. "I love you, Bella. I _love_ you. But that does not give me the right to treat you like a…a _harlot_ to be used for my own selfish desires. I will not. _You __cannot __make __me_."

"It is not—"

"Yes, _it __is_. That is what you do not understand yet, Bella: what true love is. If you did, you would not ask this of me. You would know better than to tempt me this way. You would know that if I had you like this…I would be even less worthy of you than I am now."

"That is not true, Edward. You cannot decide this for us both." I could hear the sting of anger and tears in her voice. "I don't care about what you said yesterday. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters but you. I want to love you, Edward. Teach me. Show me. Take me away from here and you can show me everyday. Don't you understand that I _want_ you to do it? I _want_ to be with you."

I could offer her nothing in reply. We had been through this already.

She continued on, more heated than before. "Why do you insist on making us both suffer? You _could_ have me. You could have everything, but you choose not to. You choose to injure me and punish yourself. And do you know why? Because you are afraid. You are afraid to be happy with me, Edward. That is why you try to push me away again and again. But I won't leave. I will _never_ leave you. Never let go of you. Because I'm yours."

That was the last straw. I turned to face her. "Enough! You are not mine, Bella. When will you get that through your head? Not now, not before… You will _never _be mine. Ever. And do _you_ know why? Because life is a cruel and agonizing existence. Letting me be near you when I could never have more. Nothing good will ever come of this. How could it? Do you really believe fate would give you someone such as I? No, because I am not your equal. I am not your prince, Bella. This—_us_—is not meant to be."

"It is. It must be…" She closed her eyes for that second, almost saying it to herself.

"No, Bella." My eyes stung as that realization, once again, rose to the surface. How many times did I have to be reminded before the pain consumed me?

"We _are_ supposed to be together, Edward. I can _feel_ it."

I moved to the door shaking my head. The ache in my chest growing stronger. I had heard enough. _She's__wrong.__She__has__to__be._

"Goodnight, Your Highness."

"You'll regret this, Edward. I swear you will." Her words were rage.

"Everyday, for the rest of my life." I agreed, leaving the most precious thing in the world behind me as I ran, once again, from my only weakness.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The images of her recurred over and over as I sparred with the others. I delivered strike after strike, showing no mercy as my mind sought to distract me.

By midday I had won nearly two dozen matches, but it still hadn't released the anger and tension I had stored up.

Every time I closed my eyes I saw blushing cheeks, red lips, jade silk… And the tension grew.

Bella had pushed me over the edge of the cliff with all her strength, but I managed to hold on by the tips of my fingers.

I couldn't do it.

Bella had accused me of trying to control her, but truly it was the opposite. I had almost always followed her wishes, and sometimes it was against my better judgment. But that… It was not negotiable. I had already taken kisses and touches from her that should not be mine.

The day passed too quickly, and I found myself undecided about what I should do now.

Was it best to pretend it hadn't happened? Should I attempt to ignore my feelings again, or was it better to renounce my post and leave? Because clearly I could not trust myself with Bella any longer. I thought I had been strong enough, but last night only proved that I was far too weak to be alone with her now. If she attempted something like that again… I don't know if I would be able to stop myself. Because I was not in control anymore. Bella had me, soul, mind, and body, wrapped around her finger.

I had managed to retreat to my room without running into her this time. Of course, I didn't realize she would knock on my door.

Her eyes were cold and dark as she stared at me, seething just beneath her careful composure. I should have noticed that there was something odd right then… A difference in her whole character. But with the distraction of thoughts her presence brought on, I didn't.

"Your Highness."

She stepped forward. "I came to inform you to dress for dinner."

I stepped back. "I beg your pardon?"

"Mother has requested you dine with us this evening."

"Oh?" I was quite articulate.

"Yes," she snapped. "You are to meet us in the Yellow Parlor." She turned and began to walk away.

"Wait!" This was not good. It was not conceivable for me to spend any amount of time with her at this moment. Bella stopped and turned. "…I am sorry, but you must give her my apologies. I cannot—"

"No one refuses the Queen's invitation, Edward. Be there in one hour."

.

.

.

I arrived downstairs not only to find the King and Queen, but also the General, his wife and Jasper, and several others that were considered long time friends of the royal family. I did not know them by name, but I had met them prior to now. "Oh, Edward! There you are." Queen Renée said as I greeted them all. I bowed before her, "It has been so long since we've had a proper chat. Come, sit here."

Many of the guests had recalled meeting me when the Queen had thrown that ridiculous ball in my honor. They all spoke in a friendly manner, chattering away about their wonderful lives and whatnot. I tried to be mindful of my actions as I pretended to care.

But my mind was wondering where Bella was. She had yet to arrive, and it made me nervous. She would come, wouldn't she?

My fears were relaxed when she finally presented herself… in a deep green dress.

I felt my mouth go dry as she greeted the others in the room with a kind smile. Images of another green dress attacked my mind as she moved about the room, apparently taking no notice of my agony until I had finally caught her eye…and she smirked at me.

She knew exactly what she was doing as she came to greet me. "Good evening, Edward."

"Princess." I bowed.

"How are you this evening?" No one else would have heard the venom dripping from her lips.

"I…am well. And you?"

"Difficult to say, really."

"Oh?"

"Mmm." Was her reply. She watched me with a pleased expression as I squirmed beneath her gaze. "You seem to be preoccupied with something, Edward. Do you like my dress?"

"Dinner is served!"

Bella insisted I sit beside her, of course. And thus, the most uncomfortable meal of my life began as we all were seated quite closely at the table. There was mostly a continuation of the talk prior to sitting down to the meal. I had thought the worst was over when the General began to speak to me about tactics, until I felt a hand brush the top of my thigh beneath the tablecloth, making me go still.

I turned slightly to see Bella was in conversation with the woman who sat on her opposite side, clearly engaged in their topic while she drew secret circles upon me.

I couldn't move.

If I drew any attention to her hand, it would be disastrous. I tried to move slightly away from her, but fingernails dug into my flesh, effectively hampering me. I thought about seizing her hand with my own, but even if I managed to do so, I could not effectively hold her hand all night without notice.

It was the most cruel of tortures as she ran her hand along the length of my thigh, slowly making circles while I struggled to remain unaffected. I silently prayed for some reprieve, anything that would make her stop.

We had finally neared the end of the meal, when King Charles tapped his glass, standing to make a speech.

"As most of you are aware, the Queen and I have invited you hear to share some wonderful news. The official announcement shall be given tomorrow during our celebration, but as our most trusted friends, we wished to make it known to you first that our beloved daughter Isabella has made her choice known for Captain Jasper Whitlock."

Murmurs of shock and elation filled the dinning room. I looked to where Jasper was sitting across from us, a calm smile upon his face. I felt my hands constrict into fists. "And so now, a toast to Jasper and Isabella: May you find joy and happiness for many years to come."

Bella smiled and blushed, shyly accepting the multitude of congratulations that the whole table was now giving her. But they couldn't see the misery in her eyes, the tension in her smile, nor the discomfort of this attention that caused the flush in her cheeks. I had never felt so wretched.

"Edward." I looked away from her to the voice that had called my name. "You seem the most surprised of us all. Did the Princess not even hint at the news?" Jasper said, gaining laughter from those around us.

"No, indeed, Her Highness has a talent for keeping affairs of intrigue when she is inclined. But I suppose the more perplexing aspect that puzzles me would be the perceived notion that most would think the Princess is settling for someone of less stature. For is it not true that the law states that a princess can only marry a prince? Or does he sit at this table devoid of his proper title?"

I could feel the atmosphere shift from my apt observation. Even Bella shook beside me with hidden laughter, erasing the muted anger she had possessed all evening. But it was clear from the reactions around me that many did not expect that I was somewhat 'civilized' enough to respond in such a manner, whether to question Jasper's title or to know that the old laws of the realm technically stated that when it came to females in the royal family, they should only marry other royalty, which must have been a precaution for them not to taint the bloodline with lesser men. Yet it mentions no stipulation for the natural born princes.

Yes, I had taken it upon myself to look into such things.

The King smiled, evidently amused by my words. "Well, yes Edward. I suppose you would be correct in your assumption, but since the fall of our neighboring kingdoms so long ago, we must…acclimate to our circumstances and have amended such laws to include young men of noble stature. Thankfully we have been provided such a bright example in Captain Whitlock." Cheers of agreement ensued. "Would you not agree?"

"I do, Your Majesty. For there is no doubt that Jasper is a good man, and I am privileged to call him my Captain." It was a true statement. I truly did think him a fair and good sort of human being. I just happened to loathe him for more personal reasons.

"You are a one of the King's men then, Edward?" Mrs. Phillips asked, changing the subject.

"Well, no, not in the true sense, as I am merely a commoner."

"Edward's purpose there is my doing." Bella interjected. "Being entrusted to guard my life, he no doubt must possess the qualities to take on an entire army, should the need arise." She smiled.

"Of course. There is no doubt, my Lady, that your role surely could bring about the most vicious of adversaries."

"Oh?" Mrs. Phillips remarked, plainly missing the jest in our words.

"Indeed, so. I should be in great luck if all my knowledge will suffice in the future."

She looked at me with awe. "Well, I shall be quite disappointed to miss your presence in the Tournament tomorrow."

I shrugged. That was one event I did not care to miss.

"The Tournament. Of course!" Bella said from beside me. "Oh Father, Mrs. Phillips has just provided a wonderful suggestion. You must allow Edward to participate in the Tournament tomorrow. After all, he should prove his worth among the fellow soldiers."

The King did not look as though he agreed, which I was thankful for. Why would she even suggest such a thing?

"That's quite all right, Your Highness. Please do not request this on my behalf."

She went on, ignoring me. "Jasper? Do you not think it proper to show off your best pupil?"

He thought for a moment, taking in her pleading expression. "Well, it is not for me to decide."

"But what of your opinion? For _I_ have undoubted faith that you have provided him your best knowledge and skill." She was quite shrewd, charming him into agreeing with her by providing me without merit of my own.

"Certainly, there is no question of that." He paused. "If the King allowed it, I should gladly accept him as a challenger."

"Oh please, Father? I should find it very amusing to see the outcome of such an event."

My mind spun. Her words were ridiculous. I was not even sure she had seen such brutality. Bella's character was more delicate in nature. She would not gain anything from watching men hit each other with swords but nightmares.

He studied his daughter's face with amusement before glancing at me. "I suppose if Edward agrees, we can make an exception."

Bella now turned her persuasion to me, the hand upon my thigh reaching higher than before, making me think of terrible things. "Oh, _please_, Edward? It would give me such pleasure to watch you." I swallowed. "Come now, what is your reply? Don't make me beg."

I found myself nodding, almost forgetting where I was. "Of course. Whatever you wish."

She smiled with delight, removing her hand from me. "How fabulous!"

And just like that, I had been coerced into giving her what she wanted.

I finally managed to get away from the small party, breathing a sigh of relief until Bella had shown her renewed ire in wishing me a deceptively kind, "sweet dreams." She knew I would not be able to sleep any more than she could.

I worried for a small moment that she would attempt to come to my room again, but it seemed unlikely with her angry disposition. I was just thankful to be away from those people and their questioning eyes and pompous ways.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

I didn't want to do this. I had planned to thoroughly drown myself in lonesome misery today, avoiding anything that reminded me of what would be announced. And yet, now I stood with countless others as we waited to hear the King's welcome and explanation of the Tournament's tradition and rules.

I was already on edge, having witnessed a brief exchange between Jasper and Bella before he took to the field with the rest of us. It looked as though she was wishing him luck. I wanted to crush his skull then and there.

The King now announced the significance of whatever trinket they would provide as a prize to the winner. I barely listened, wanting to get it over with as quickly as possible, when a shocking turn of events drew my attention.

"…and finally, as a special enticement to you all, the Princess Isabella has promised that to the victor of this year's Tournament, a kiss shall also be given." He paused, no doubt noticing the sudden interest of every participant grow tenfold. "Let the games begin."

I walked to my place in complete distraction. She…was going to kiss whoever the victor was. But, Jasper was highly likely to be the one.

_No_. That would not happen. I refused to let her do that to me. Looking over the three sword rings that spanned the field, I saw that Jasper was looking to where she sat beside her father, smiling at her as if he had already won.

My fighting sprit was renewed and I moved through the brackets with steel resolve, winning match after match with ease. But this was nothing new. I had trained with all of them, and knew their weaknesses from the onset. Jasper would be my only true challenge, since I had never sparred with him.

Blow after blow, strike after strike, I pushed through, advancing toward my goal. If Jasper truly wanted that kiss, he would have to go through me.

At the third recess I looked to see that there were only eight of us left, including Jasper. Only three more to fight for each of us, and then the true test. These fights, too, were easily dealt with once I learned their disadvantages. The first relied too heavily on his weight, so it was simple to use against him; the second overanalyzed their target, making for an easy feint of tactic to bring him down; the third attempted to intimidate me, which was pointless.

Now, after hours of combat, I had finally reached my adversary.

Strangely enough, he seemed pleased to see me at the end of the day as his final match. Unfortunately for him, he would not carry that thought for long.

I closed in on him quickly, feinting back and forth to test his reflex. Jasper had a slight advantage in experience and what he knew of my shortcomings, but I was faster than him and adaptive, always anticipating the various ways he could attack. Again and again we came at each other, neither one of us gaining the advantage. I could feel Bella's eyes on me every second. I renewed my resolve, attacking more forcefully, my irritation and impatience showing through. Jasper evaded, ducking behind me to strike. I turned just in time to block with my shield, but lost my footing, receiving strike after strike. He maneuvered again and my sword was knocked from my hand into the mud across the circle. He grinned at me, condescending as he prepared to take his victory.

But pride goes before the fall, and as he moved in for the kill I leaned right, taking his sword as I flipped his body over my left shoulder, twisting back to hold the blade to his throat.

"Do you yield, Captain?"

He stared at me with horror and disbelief for a moment before controlling his expression.

"Apparently, you've been practicing."

"Proud?"

"I yield."

I stood, looking up to see that everything had gone quiet. And then the cheering erupted, bringing the weight of everything crashing down as I looked up to see that the King was livid.

I had won.

.

.

.

The awarding commenced shortly thereafter and I stood, bruised and exhausted before the tall, shaded dais to be acknowledged.

The Queen presented a golden cup, filled with coins. She smiled uneasily, as if she were conflicted in my victory. I didn't blame her. I felt the same way now as she stepped aside to make way for Bella's approach.

The late afternoon sun burned from its place beneath the cloud cover, casting her face in its brilliant shine. Suddenly, winning felt like the most foolish choice I had ever made as she stood before me with an unfathomable expression. I felt every eye of crowd around us, waiting to see the exhibition.

My breathing became labored as I stepped closer.

And suddenly, Bella smiled a small smile. "Well done, Edward."

I swallowed. "Thank you."

"Well, go ahead." There was a tremor in her voice. "Claim your prize."

I leaned in, locking our gazes as I hesitated an inch from her mouth and heard her breathing stop. Her eyes became pitch black as I paused, completely entranced.

I took her hand and raised it to just beneath my mouth, and I pressed her hand to my lips, kissing the back of it tenderly before leaning away. She blinked suddenly, realizing that our moment was over as her breath returned.

"Your Highness." I walked away as quickly as possible, pushing through the crowd while fighting the urge to go back to her.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The afternoon passed into night, and the festivities resumed as the Palace guests dressed for the evening in their best attire, eager to dance and enjoy the evening. I took my time cleaning up, unwilling to attend what was sure to be an unpleasant evening. Still, I had to be with Bella. It was my duty and my obsession.

Many passed me as I entered the ballroom, speaking open congratulations and muttering discontent under their breaths.

I searched the multitude, looking for Bella, and found her sitting beside Jasper. It looked as though they were in a deep conversation, possibly too intimate for such a crowd. I would have turned right around and disappeared but Bella looked up for only a second before refocusing on Jasper, letting her hand sweep along his arm gently as she smiled.

Red drowned my vision as I watched her lean into his side, smiling and touching him. I felt my hands curl into fists as he took her hand, and as he leaned down to kiss her palm she glanced at me again, a cruel smirk on her lips. I turned around, having seen enough.

But she called out to me, her voice a false sweetness.

"Where have you been?" She pouted.

.

.

.

It took all my restraint to sit here and watch her blatantly make me seethe with jealousy. Each time she touched him, smiled at him, leaned toward him, her eyes looked to me, making sure I knew exactly what she was doing. They got up to dance and I watched again during the moments when she allowed him to hold her too closely. I nearly shattered the glass in my hand when he leaned in, almost brushing his lips against her own.

_Stop watching. It's exactly what she wants._

I tried to listen, but my weakness for her would not allow it.

They returned, but then Jasper left to retrieve some refreshment. I stared at the tablecloth, listening to her movement as she took the seat beside me.

"Is something troubling you, Edward? You haven't asked me to dance once."

My eyes snapped up to her face, and suddenly I was leading her out for the next dance. Touching her was an acute necessity right now, so I took advantage of her suggestion.

There was a silent, but strong communication between us as we danced, because she already knew what I wanted, and I realized quickly that this dance would not be enough.

As soon as the music stopped I stormed away, knowing she would follow. I kept walking, passing by the guests who entertained themselves in the rooms just outside the ballroom, until I found an empty place to close myself in.

My blood was boiling as I paced about, waiting. I watched her sneak in a moment later and I pounced, wasting no time in attacking her mouth. She kissed me back, her fingers secured in my shirt collar.

"Why, Bella?" I asked, pressing her into the door. "Are you punishing me?"

"You left me no choice." Her tongue swept across her bottom lip. "I won't marry him. I want you."

"You can't have me."

She pulled my lips back to her own, showing me just how wrong I was as her hands roamed over my chest and hips pushed against mine. It was too much, but not enough. She lifted my hand to her breast. "_Touch __me_."

I felt possessed as my hand began to knead her, liking the way she moaned at my touch. _More._ Without thought, my hand reached inside her neckline, feeling the heat of her bare flesh. _So__good._ She arched into me, exposing more of her throat as I tasted her.

"Take me, now, Edward!"

I growled. "I _can't_."

"Can't? Or won't?"

I pulled her across the room, throwing her onto the sofa as I climbed over her body. She ripped my shirt open, using it to hold me closer. My mouth latched to her throat, kissing down until I could lick the curve of her collarbone, tasting until I met the swell of her breasts.

She had finally pushed me over the edge of the cliff, making me release the grip I had on my control. It was all over now.

"Is this what you want, Bella?" I put my mouth on her fabric-covered peak.

Her fingers dug painfully into my chest as she cried out. I seized her wrists with one hand, lifting them above her head where she couldn't have any power this time.

She didn't like it, attempting to pull out of my grip as our lips met again. I lifted her skirt higher and drew her legs apart, placing my knee in between them while my free hand explored the sliver of skin between her stockings and pantalettes. Bella moaned at my touch, arching her body impossibly closer. "Uh! Please, Edward."

I groaned. "That's right, love, beg me. Beg me, and maybe I'll give you what you want."

And she did as I once again ravaged her throat. "Please! Oh god, Edward. Don't—ugh—stop, please! I'll do anything. Anything you want, just, please…"

I sat up, about to release her hands when I felt the tip of a blade pressed to my throat.

"Get up," the voice snarled.

Bella's eyes flew open at the sound, and drew in a breath as she saw him and what must have been a dagger at my throat.

"You don't know what you're doing, Jasper."

He seized my collar, pulling me up and away from Bella in one swift movement. "Shut up! I'll see you hang for this."

"No!" Bella cried, and in the brief moment his attention faltered, I slipped away, twisting his wrist painfully, and suddenly I was the one with the dagger as I pinned him to the wall beside the sofa.

I laughed at the absurdity. "Should I just kill him now, Bella?" I never took my eyes from him, knowing that I couldn't let my guard down as he had. Jasper struggled, but it was no use. I was stronger.

Bella didn't answer at first, and then there was a frantic, "Wait!" I felt her move beside us. "Edward, don't do this." There were tears in her voice now, and I suddenly struggled to focus. Out of the corner of my eye she held out her hand. "Give me the blade, Edward."

I shook my head. "No." I wasn't going to let him have her. She was mine. _Mine!_

"Please, Edward," she took hold of my arm, "I… I'm yours." She whispered, reaching for the dagger slowly, and taking it as I let go.

She stepped back and there was a blow to the back of my head.

Everything went dark.

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**A/N: Over 200 reviews? Thank you all soooo much! :D**

**Next update will be on October 22. Please continue to review!**

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	25. Barter

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Sorry for the lateness. I had the Mad Hatter check my watch and he noticed it was two days slow. :/ So, yeah… lol.**

**Oh, and FYI…you might want to grab some tissues before continuing.**

**Last****time,****on****Crown****Games:** Edward is teased by Bella after he refused to sleep with her, but, after winning the Tournament and being subjected to watching her flirt with Jasper, he loses control and decides to give in. Jasper finds them and after a brief argument, Edward is knocked unconscious by…

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Chapter 25 – Barter

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BPOV

"No!" I screamed, watching one of the guards strike Edward, knocking him unconscious.

I reached for him, but Jasper pulled me back, swiftly taking the blade from my hand and nodding to the others. "You, take the Princess to the King's study—_keep_ her there—and you two, pick him up."

"NO!" I screamed again, struggling against restraining arms. "Where are you taking him! Stop! Let go of me! Edward! Edward…!"

Another soldier helped to restrain me as I thrashed about. They forced me down the hall and cast me in the room, locking me inside where I could only pound on the door, crying to be let out. But it was no use. My pleas fell on deaf ears.

I turned around, thinking as the wind howled suddenly, shaking the windows.

I could use one of the windows. _No, __it __would __take __too __long, __and __I __could __be __caught __again __outside__… __Oh! __The __catacombs!_ Wiping the tears from my eyes I moved around the room, searching with renewed hope. I had never come to my father's study this way…still, there must be a door…_somewhere_… I just had to find it. Then I could get to Edward.

My fingers pushed and shoved along every surface…but…nothing! No!

Desperate, I tried the windows, but they did not shift one bit. Ah!

I couldn't stay here another minute!

There had to be a way out!

But…there was not.

I was trapped, with no way to know what was happening.

I fell to the floor, angry and defeated. Fingers pulled at my hair as my heated tears returned…and I _hated_ him. Jasper was going to pay for ruining this. I had _finally_ made Edward respond to me. I knew he would not be able to stand seeing me with anyone else. Nor would he resist touching me once I forced him to think about it, making him suffer until he gave in. And he did. As soon as he had taken my hand, pulling me toward the dance floor, I could feel it in his restraining grasp, silently speaking his possession of me. Even now my stomach knotted in longing just thinking of his ravenous stare…his hands…his lips…

_Is this what you want, Bella?_

But Jasper stopped him. I realized now what it must have looked like. Edward holding me down, touching me, kissing me, making me beg… Only Jasper had not the slightest idea of what I was pleading for.

I still didn't understand. How could he have found us? He couldn't have followed—he would have caught us sooner. There was too much noise in the adjacent room for my cries to be heard… And then the guards came in. They had entered the room swiftly, about to draw their weapons to help Jasper. I had only intervened in hope of reducing the threat of hostilities, realizing Edward was outnumbered now. But I had only made it worse, leaving him defenseless.

The back of my head was pounding, and there was a growing pain in my chest. This waiting was going to be the cause for my death if someone did not release me soon. I couldn't just sit here with my thoughts. It was driving me mad!

It must have been more than an hour before I finally heard movement outside the study. I looked up as the door flew open and Father stormed into the room, followed by Mother who had tears flowing down her face. The door shut again with an ominous bang. Without thought I rose, trying to control my emotions. Mother tried to embrace me and ask of my wellbeing, but I cast her aside, looking to Father.

"Where is he?"

Father watched me with an angry expression and guarded eyes. "In the Tower." I attempted to walk past him, but he reached out, stopping me. "You are not going anywhere, Isabella."

He forced me back to one of the chairs in front of his desk as I spoke, "I am. I have to see him."

"No, Isabella, you are going to sit here and explain to me what happened."

"Father, please," my thin patience was nearly spent. "This is all a misunderstanding."

His eyes widened, anger coloring his tone. "A _misunderstanding_?"

"Edward did not attack me." I tried to explain. "What Jasper saw—"

"Yes, I am already aware of Jasper's involvement. He has explained it all. What I do not know is why you were alone with that boy in the first place! Did you not learn your lesson from the last time this happened?"

"Don't you dare, Father! He's nothing like Demetri. I told you, Edward did not attack me!"

"How can you say this with what has happened?"

"You don't understand. You don't know him, he—"

"No… I do not know him, it seems. But he knows you…quite well, doesn't he?" I looked up, trying to understand the strange tone to his words. He paused, as if waiting for me to admit something. When I did not, he continued, changing the subject abruptly. His demeanor was too calm. "Where is your locket, Isabella?"

My hand reached up instinctively, confirming that it was indeed not around my neck. "I don't know… What does it matter?" I snapped.

Father reached into his pocket and lifted the silver chain and locket out, allowing it to swing from his fingers as he held it up for his inspection. I didn't understand.

"I seem to recall a peculiar moment earlier in the week, when I had found a certain out of place shirt in your bedroom… And then there was your strange behavior the past few days, especially the ride you had taken with him, lasting most of the afternoon, though I have scarcely seen you make use of that horse until recently... There were other little things, of course; I suppose these differences were only mildly troubling until Captain Whitlock just a moment ago explained that you were calling out to your would-be attacker, as if for help. Obviously something did not add up. So I sent men to search first your room and then his.

"Would you care to know where it was found?" He asked, walking behind me to fasten the chain around my neck.

_The __last __moment __I __had __been __aware __of __it__…__was __the __night __I __went __to __him_…

I could feel the color drain from my face.

"In his bed, Isabella. In. His. BED!"

Suddenly, there was a lump in my throat. "It's—It's not what you think."

"No?"

"Nothing happened. It was my fault. _I_ went to _him_. He had no idea... I asked him to… But, he refused."

"Oh, let me guess," his words dripping with condescension, "because he was just too noble to treat you that way, and cares for you so much… You expect me to believe this!"

I flinched. "It is the truth."

"And what happened tonight, dear daughter? For he had clearly changed his mind enough to take whatever he desired."

"Stop it! I will let you speak of him that way. Edward has never taken advantage of me. He loves me. I trust him with my life."

"You have allowed him to cloud your judgment." Father shook his head, exasperated. "Your account perplexes me exceedingly, Isabella. Jasper informed me that you were being held down. That you were begging him to be let go. Is this incorrect?"

"Not…exactly." I shook my head, but that was not a good enough answer for him. My face flushed with further embarrassment and anger as I stared at my horribly wrinkled skirt. He was going to make me say it. "No. I did beg…but, it was not for him to stop."

There was silence. I peeked up to see his face twist from confusion to disgust. "I will kill him myself," he declared, turning to leave.

"No! Father, you cannot!" I caught his arm, forcing him to listen. "He has done nothing wrong!"

"He has threatened murder upon your intended."

"Only because Jasper attacked him first."

"Yet this does not trouble you?"

"Why do you cast Edward so low?" I asked, avoiding his question. "He is just as worthy a man as Jasper. Even more so, yet you would only base his merits on the title he is without. You have not even properly acknowledged his victory today."

"Ah. So, this is the reason you pleaded for him to be included in my Tournament?"

I couldn't help the smirk. "Clearly, he had a right to be there. Not that you would have considered his own skill without thinking his tutor had something to do with it."

"How could you do something so foolish!" Father apparently had no patience in seeing my manipulation.

"Because Edward is more loyal to you than all the rest of them. Because you never acknowledge him as you should, but treat him with mocking sarcasm and arrogance. And most notably, because he deserved his triumph, and you know it."

"Well… You _are_ quite the advocate for him. But it matters not. Heed my warning now, Isabella, and do well to put this out of your mind. For I can only hope that whatever infatuation you have will die with him."

"No!"

"Do not argue with me."

"I will not let you!"

"You have no say in this decision!"

"I have every say. He is _my_ guard!"

"And under _my_ rule!"

"You _can__'__t_ take him from me!"

"Why do you persist!"

"Because _I __love __him!_"

I felt my eyes widen as the words left my mouth, not fully understanding the confession my heart had just made. I blinked, astonished in realizing the clear ring of truth in the declaration. I tested the words again to myself, nodding in new awareness, "I… I love him." Tears stung my eyes, and I looked up once more, watching my father shake his head in denial.

Sorrow threatened to crush me. My confession came in the worst moment possible, no doubt giving my father more reason to hate Edward.

"No… Have you completely lost your senses? You're a princess, he's a _servant_."

I shook my head. "It doesn't matter. I don't care. I…I won't marry Jasper."

My hands twisted painfully in my hair as he spoke one more, each word causing me insanity. "Oh, but you will. You may have embarrassed me in front of the entire kingdom with that display you gave and stopped the announcement of your engagement for now… But it will be given once these matters are taken care of. You will never see that boy again!"

No, _no_, NO! This couldn't happen!

"I will die!" I screamed. "Kill him and I will not survive it. Please!" I fell to my knees at his feet.

"I've heard enough of this." He removed himself from me, leaving once more. "You have no means to persuade me."

"…Don't I?" My mind worked quickly, knowing now that there was only one way I could save him. Father had stopped, his hand on the door, listening. I spoke slowly, deliberately. "The future of your kingdom, of all you hold dear, lies in my hands, does it not? Will you risk its ruin over one life?" I paused, letting the words take hold. "Kill him, and I will not marry. There will be no heir to the throne, and I will see all of this razed to the ground before I perish with it."

He looked at me now with barely restrained horror. Good. I had to be sure he recognized my sincerity.

"But… If you spare his life…I will be the perfect daughter. I will marry whomever you wish. I will bear as many children as you desire, and do whatever you ask of me. I will question nothing nor make one complaint. Only send him away, banish him. Do this, and I will never speak his name again."

Father watched me with what could only be hate. "How dare you threaten me."

"Charles," Mother cried, gaining his attention. I didn't look to see whatever her silent communication was. In truth, I had completely forgotten her presence.

His eyes flickered to me once more, disgust and betrayal growing stronger as he weighed my offer. "I will…consider it."

"No! You _will_ give me your answer now." Edward's life was too precious. I couldn't afford to take any chance with it.

He knelt down, meeting my eyes with a grave stare. "Very well, Isabella. He shall go free. But he will never step foot in my kingdom again. And be aware that if you fail to abide by this agreement—slip up once—and I will not hesitate to send my best men to hunt him down and draw him back here, at which time you will watch his blood stain the ground.

"Do I make myself clear?"

I swallowed, blinking away the tears profusely leaving my eyes and whispered, "Yes, Sire."

"So be it."

He stood, opening the door and spoke to the guards standing just outside. "Escort the Princess to her chamber immediately, and stand watch there. I have a prisoner to see." Then he was gone.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

The guards took me straight to my room, as instructed. The door was open as we arrived, and I looked on in misery at the state of things.

The men Father sent to search my chamber had been thorough, leaving nothing of my things untouched as I stepped into the room. Chairs were knocked over, my clothing and books and trinkets littered the floor…even my mattress had been overturned. Angela emerged from the corner, crying miserably as she tried to straighten the mess.

_They couldn't have found…_

Suddenly there was a sense of dread as I saw and walked to the now vacant bookshelf. I dropped to the bottom row, feeling above it for the hidden slat… that was now empty.

"I'm sorry my Lady!" Angela moaned, "I tried to stop them, but it was no use!"

They had taken my things. Every note Edward had written me, my few small keepsakes of him, the eight wildflowers I had pressed—one from each birthday bouquet he had given me…all of it…was gone.

Angela was behind me, trying to give words of comfort, but I wanted none of it. "Leave me… Now!" I snapped when she didn't move.

She ran out quickly then, and I couldn't stop the anguished cries from coming any longer. My heart was bleeding and I struggled to breathe.

_What have I done…?_

The words rang through my head over and over again now as I collapsed to the floor and wept uncontrollably, for my beloved…for our separation…for the suffering I was causing.

I wept for my foolishness.

I wept for my lying tongue and deceitful heart, only now understanding the depth of emotion they had kept from my mind.

And then a new, angry flourish of tears came because I now saw with open eyes that my realization with Father wasn't a realization at all, but an admission of what I had know for a long time.

_I __love __Edward_.

I had never given a proper name to my feelings for him before tonight, but nothing had evolved from my acknowledgement. The emotions welling up inside of me were just the same as they had always been, but… Well, I suppose that I had forced myself to see the truth of things. Sort of like when you receive an unwelcome letter, one that you already know contains terrible news. And you think that maybe if you chose not to open it, then you can pretend that whatever it holds doesn't exist, so it can't have the chance to hurt you. So I sealed my letter and pretended my feelings didn't exist, because I didn't want to end up like those stories I had read, where people who deserved to be together ended up in ruin for the sake of love. I didn't want Edward and I to suffer like that, as we surely would… But I guess it was already too late, even before, because I had already felt bound to him.

I couldn't be sure, but as I allowed myself to think about this, it seemed that I had always been in love with him, right from our very first moment together, even if I was too young to understand what it meant.

And now I had let something else take over in a frantic attempt to keep that bond, to never see it severed. To claim him by any means possible.

I had never felt so out of control.

My mind tortured me now in repeating all the mistakes I had made since last evening.

In a single day I had shamed my father, humiliated my mother, wounded Jasper…

But worst of all, I had ruined Edward's life. Because of me he would be forced from the only home he has known, from his comforts and acquaintances and me… He would have to leave behind everything he had known here, and the fault was entirely mine. Because I was too selfish to see that Edward was right.

He had told me what would happen, but I didn't listen, costing us both our lives. It was a fate worse than death, as I now had to live with the certainty that there was no hope for us left. Father would cast him out and I would never see him again.

"Oh, god…_No_."

It was unfathomable. My stomach twisted painfully, and I rose, suddenly desperate. I _had_ to see him. There was no other choice. I had spent too long grieving here when he had not yet left me.

I crawled over the debris on the floor and searched until I found the garment I was looking for. I donned my cloak, drawing my hood closely in hope that it would help to hide me until I reached the tower. I moved through the walls in secret, pushing back the fear of the dark void before me.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Seeing that there was no one in sight, I stepped out into the dark hallway quickly, moving towards the turret that would lead me to Edward. Half way down the hall I watched as the door to my destination opened. I moved quickly behind one of the thick curtains that covered the high windows here, listening as footsteps came nearer. I peeked out to see my father and Jasper walking side by side with two guards who carried lanterns. I waited until they had disappeared completely before making my way again.

The stairs were dark as I climbed, the only light coming faintly from above.

Reaching the top, I discovered two guards sitting watch outside the bars of the holding room. I made my presence known and they stood, abruptly wary.

"Who goes there?"

I removed the hood of my cloak, attempting to push back the grief I felt with it. "I wish to see the prisoner."

The two looked to each other before the first addressed me once more. "I am sorry, Your Highness, but the King has ordered, under pain of death, that no one be allowed here."

I stepped forward. "And if you value your life for when my own rule comes, you will let me pass." The guard's eyes were wide as he took in my threat. "Come now, the King need not know. Here," I said, handing him the small purse I had prepared, "for both of your troubles."

I placed the purse in his hands and he nervously nodded to the other, who opened the cell door. I stepped through, feeling the bite of cold air while listening to him lock it back again.

My eyes adjusted to the almost darkness before me and I couldn't stifle the gasp of shock as he came into view.

Edward sat in the corner, his wrists bound in restraints that were chained to the wall, his eyes closed in pain. His attire was ripped and dirty, and I faintly perceived the drops of blood on his chest, from where my nails had dug into his skin earlier. A sob came unbidden from my chest as I sat before him, daring to touch his beautiful face with my accursed hands.

"Bella," he whispered, leaning into my touch as he opened his eyes. "You're here?"

"Oh, Edward!" I threw myself at him, clutching him forcefully as he drew me into his lap. He held me tightly as I wept and cried out my feeble apologies into his chest. I had wanted to be strong in his presence, but the weight of what was to come made me weaker with each passing second.

"Shh…" He hushed gently, "Be still, love." But the endearment brought on a new wave of pain, and I cried harder still. His left arm held me about the waist while the other caressed my face, wiping away the tears with his thumb. Edward kissed the top of my head, murmuring sweet words and calming me. I hated myself in that moment, knowing I was still taking advantage of him and not being able to stop. "You shouldn't have come," he said, solemn.

"I had to see you."

He nodded, as if he knew of the torment I had suffered in the last few hours.

Sweet. Understanding. I was sure what I had suffered was nothing compared to his own grief. So how he could even stand the sight of me after everything I had put him through these two days past?

Guilt pierced my chest. "Forgive me, Edward. I've been so cruel. I didn't mean for this to happen…" The tears had begun once more, thinking of the bitterness that claimed my heart, how I wanted to make him suffer the hurt he had caused me when he refused to touch me.

"Don't… This isn't your fault, Bella."

"Of course it is. How can it not be?"

I tried to look away but he took hold of my chin, making me stare into his troubled eyes. "Because I gave in when I shouldn't have."

"But I forced you to."

"Bella," his tone reproachful.

"Do not deny it."

"How could you possibly force me?"

"You told me there was only so much you could take… I pushed you in everyway I could think of. It wasn't supposed to go as far as I let it… But I was just, _so_ angry that you didn't want me for some reason. I let it consumed my every thought, not even considering what my actions would bring upon us. I wanted you to think of me every single second, just as I thought of you. I wanted to see you snap," I closed my eyes in shame. "…I wanted to break you." I flinched at my own words. _How __could __I __have __wanted __that?_

"I know," he whispered. "But it still does not absolve me of my own faults."

"…You were right before, when you warned me that this would happen. I've destroyed everything because I did not listen. And now… I shall never see you again, and it is all my fault!"

He shook his head. "You must not blame yourself, Bella. We've been on this path for a long time now. Sooner or later we would have been discovered. There was no avoiding it."

"How can you say that? Do you not realize where we are? That my father wishes to have you slain for my sake?"

"No, I am aware of it. But…maybe it's better this way."

"_What?_"

He sighed, leaning his head back against the wall and closing his eyes. The words came slowly, despairingly. "I don't belong here, Bella. I never have. You have always been so generous with me. Given me so much more than I ever could have deserved. And yet, in my selfishness I still wanted more." He gazed into my eyes again. "There's _never_ been a moment where I didn't want you in some way or another. You are the one precious thing in this world that I cannot live without. But now… Now, I won't have to suffer that. I won't have to live with the pain of not having you, of pretending that I don't love you. That you mean nothing to me. I won't have to push you away and hurt you anymore. Don't you see, Bella? When I die, you'll be free of this. You can let go of the madness and finally live the life you were meant to have. The life you deserve... You don't have to be reminded of me any longer. You can be free. We both can be."

"No…" I whispered, trying to breathe through the piercing misery in my chest. He…he wanted to be free of this? Of me? Falling tears blurred my vision. "You—you can't mean that."

"How can I not, when I've already caused you so much pain? If you had never found me…if I had never come here, this wouldn't be happening. You would be happy."

"No," I said again, knowing he was wrong. "I could never be happy without you. My life would be empty, meaningless."

"You can't know that."

"I can. I do know. You're not going to die, Edward. I won't allow it."

His brow furrowed as he read the determination in my eyes. "Bella?"

"Did you honestly think I would let them murder you? That I could bear to live, knowing you were no longer in this world?"

"What have you done?" He demanded, fear coloring his face as his fingers wrap around my arms, rattling the fetters that bound him to the wall.

"I couldn't let him, Edward. Not when I could save you. Father wanted your head, but I vowed to ruin his kingdom if he did not send you away, unharmed. So we struck an agreement; you must leave and never set foot in Forcelle again, and I will play the perfect daughter."

Edward watched me with incredulous eyes. "So you exchange my life for you own? Are you mad? You can't believe…" He stopped short, clenching his jaw.

There was a long silence as both Edward and I struggled to calm ourselves. I never thought he would be content to die, to leave me behind so cruelly. I would never survive it. Edward was my heart, beating life into my veins. If he were to perish…

"It's the only way. Would you not have fought for my life?"

"That's irrelevant. Your life is worth more than mine."

I shook my head. "It isn't. It can't be, because we're the same, Edward. The two halves of one whole. Life and death. Weak and strong. Light and dark. Joy and despair. Hate and…love. Not one that can exist without the other… And so, there can be no me without you."

He watched me now in contemplation, no doubt hearing the true meaning of my words.

"When Father spoke of ending your life, I couldn't bear the thought of it. And I suddenly realized…how much more you mean to me than merely being my best friend… That each time you spoke the depth of your feelings for me, there was a hidden part of myself echoing the same words. I was too afraid to see it before…and now I… I don't know how I could have kept it from you."

Edward became still in my arms, listening to my confession stoically, but for the grip he had about my body. There was little doubt now in what I had meant. "Tell me, Bella. …I need to hear you say it."

My heart pounded in my chest frantically as I hid my face in his shoulder, whispering the words like a secret. One that was too frightening to know, because it changed everything and nothing all at once.

And suddenly, I felt hot, wet tears trickle onto my neck as he pressed me into his chest with new desperation.

I pulled my head back, frightened of the pain my confession had caused, but there was no anguish in his face as I looked. No. Instead, his lips began to turn up slowly, the smile on his face growing larger until it illuminated his every feature, shining out through his eyes and taking my breath away. In all my life, I had never seen such _joy_. "You're not just saying this because I'm leaving, are you?" Somehow teasing me.

I could only shake me head, too overwhelmed by him to speak.

"I didn't think—" he laughed, "I never thought I'd hear you say…" He took my face in his hands, making me shiver as the cold, iron manacles around his wrists graze my skin. Watching me with what looked like awe, he brought our lips together, not quite kissing me as he whispered my name in devotion against them.

"Say it again…Please."

"I love you."

Warmth spread through my body as he claimed my lips then. But it was nothing like the desperate, greedy kisses we had shared only hours ago. Edward's lips were sweet and gentle, letting each kiss slowly melt away the pain and fear around us. His fingers moved with the same languid indulgence as they drifted along my jaw, up into my hair and down around my body, making me forget everything except him.

So it was a shock when my hands had reached the cuts I had put on his chest, making him flinch. And then everything came flooding back.

"Don't leave me."

He saw the panic in my eyes, "Bella—"

"I can't live without you; I don't know how." I thought of the horrible months that had followed our first kiss, where I could not eat, sleep, or even breathe because of our separation. But I had still known he was here, that I could at least be near him if I wished. "It hurts so much already."

Edward crushed me to him. "I know, love. But you are so strong. You don't need me."

"But, I do! Stop trying to placate me."

"Uh! You're not making this easy, Bella."

"Is it supposed to be?"

"Of course not. But I'm trying…" He sighed. "I know it won't really help, but I have to do _something_, Bella. I can't stand to know that you're hurting because of me. Can you understand that?"

I nodded, knowing I was being unfair in my misery. Edward didn't deserve to be yelled at. He had always been able to comfort me before, and now he was trying in vain because he didn't know what else to do.

There was noise from outside the cell, making Edward look away from me. "Perhaps you should go," he said miserably, after a long moment of silence.

"No. I want to be with you."

Edward sighed, resting his head on top of mine. "You need to rest. Are you not tired?"

I shook my head. "Besides, I can't sleep without you."

"I'm surprised. I thought you'd be glad to get rid of my snoring…"

I sat up, confused as to why he was saying such a thing, worried he was trying to convince me I didn't need him again, but then I saw the look in his eyes and knew what he was doing. Trying to ease the hurt with absurdity. I realized then that Edward was just as unwilling as I to let go of what we had. I tried to play along for his sake.

"I'm used to it now, I suppose… At least I don't have to hear you whine about your training any longer."

It seemed like I was doing okay, because he laughed. "As if you didn't whine more than me."

"I do not."

Making a poor, too high, imitation of my voice, "This dress is so big with fluff, I'll never find my way out of it; why can't they just let me sit in the corner and read a book?; I never want to see another tea cup for as long as I live; Edward, where have you been? I've been _so_ bored!"

"Oh, shut up!"

He chuckled. "Told you so."

"Definitely not going to miss how you always have to be right."

"I don't have to be. I just am," he shrugged, and then laughed at my incredulous expression.

We argued back and forth that way for a time, somehow pretending that nothing had changed. That everything wasn't crumbling around us as the room became lighter.

He had held me all through night, until we could see the first gray threads of light through the tiny window in the wall above us. Dawn was coming quickly now to steal my life away.

"You must go, Bella, before someone discovers that you are missing."

I shut my eyes, pulling myself closer. "No. Not yet." There had to be some time left. It couldn't be over. But then I thought of what my father would do if he found me here, and I did not know if he would consider this a breach of what I had agreed to. Suddenly, I was worried.

I sat up in Edward's arms, knowing that I had to go, but also anguished that this would be our last moment. The next time I saw him, he would be leaving me. So was this our goodbye? I wanted to ask him, but when I tried to speak, my mouth was suddenly dry.

So I kissed him, with every once of strength I had, showing him what I couldn't say. What I could never say.

"I love you," he whispered in between my kisses. Over and over again he said them, until there was no meaning behind the words, only the depth of emotion burned into my mind.

"Tonight." I said against his lips, desperate suddenly to pretend that I had some kind of control. That the possibility of him leaving me today isn't real. "I'll come back tonight. This isn't goodbye. Not yet. Tell me, Edward."

This moment finally broke through the careful composure he had kept all night, and now I watched as he struggles to lie to me. Finally he nodded. "Tonight."

I took a deep breath, trying to gain the courage now to stand and walk away.

I make it to my feet, and just as I'm about to let go of his hand, he clutches it tighter, making me look back to his face. "I love you. Remember that. No matter what happens now, I love you, Bella." And then, his hand is gone and I feel cold as I walk to the bars, calling for the guard to release me.

The urge to look back is strong, but I can't. Not if I'm going to save him.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Somehow, I manage to make it back to my chamber without letting out the cry of agony that resides in my chest. And suddenly, I'm exhausted. I climb onto the window seat, lying down with my back to the window to absorb the sun that has just peeked over the horizon. I'm so cold my body is shaking as it curls in on itself, while I look on at the destruction before me. My cloak faintly smells like him, and I pull it closer, trying to calm myself as I close my eyes.

In seconds I'm already close to sleep, breathing in Edward's scent. And just before I drift off I recognize his last words, almost the same as he spoke in my dreams, a moment before he kissed me with yellow eyes…

.

.

.

_I feel the slight jostle of the horses as they pull my—carriage?—forward. _

_I don't want to go. I know she'll be heartbroken. But there's nothing I can do now. It's too late to fix things. Time has finally run out on us, and I can only move forward…_

_The ache in my chest is stronger. So much so, that I can't ignore how it grows with each pounding beat of my heart._

_It's almost too much, and I fight to breathe calmly. He says something to me from across the small space, but I'm not listening. It hurts. I can't do this. I have to go back, they have to let me go back…_

I wake with a start, gasping at the pain in my chest.

There's a frantic Angela beside me in a minute and I realize that the day has faded completely into night. My hand clutches my heart. _Make __it __stop!_

"My Lady?"

I can barely catch my breath. "…it hurts. Fetch…the doctor." My hands wrap tightly around my body in hopeless attempt to stop the ache that's twisting tighter with each moment. Angela runs from the room and I'm trying to not think about it.

I look through the glass again, and realize that I shouldn't have slept so late. I need to leave soon.

Edward. I—I need Edward.

Suddenly, the doctor is here, with Mother behind him, and he's asking me useless questions.

"I cannot treat you properly, Your Highness unless you tell me what's wrong."

"I told you I don't _know_! Just give me something for the pain. _Now_."

He tries to find out more, but when I growl out threats he finally reaches into his bag, filling a syringe and prepping my arm. I cringe away from the sting of the needle, but almost instantly I feel weaker.

"There we are. This will take care of the pain and help you sleep." My vision is blurred and as I try to stand I find that my legs are too weak to hold me. _Did __he __say __sleep? __No__… __I __c__…__can__'__t __sleep. __I __have__…__to __see __Edward_.

The doctor is speaking again, but I can't understand the words. Fear grips me along with the pain as I lose consciousness.

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**A/N: I hope this turned out okay. It feels…rushed? *shrugs* I really wanted to convey her anger and both of their pain, so let me know if that came across if you decided to grace me with a review.**

**Next update will be November 12. (Or 14, if I keep up with the whole 2 days late thing. :/ Ehh. Stupid watch. Guess I can't complain though since it was an un-birthday present. Hehe.) There's a couple of pictures of the tower on my LJ.**

**Reminder about Fandom for Texas Wildfire Relief: If you're able to help, please give. Link is still on my profile. Thanks. :)**

**For those of you celebrating, Happy (almost) Halloween! I think I might dress up as Alice this year! I just need to get me some gold contacts… Anyone else dressing up? Or doing something else? I wanna know! **

**And who has their tickets for Breaking Dawn, Part 1 already? I do! Looks like it's actually going to be a decent movie compared to the crappy others, I'm guessing that's because Stephenie was able to have input this time and not let them ruin it as much. Haha. We'll see.**


	26. Valediction

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

***Finishes tightening the bolts on outside of indestructible fort* Oh! Hi everyone! *Looks around anxiously* So… Excited for BD next week? Yeah me, too. And Thanksgiving for those of us in the states... *Clears throat nervously* Well, excuse me while I step into my little bit of safety here before you start reading. Hm? Why? Oh, um, uh… No reason. Sorry for the shortness of this chapter in advance, and well… yeah. Kay, bye! *Runs inside and locks door bolts***

*******WARNING: This chapter contains violence and blood. Please be cautious if that bothers you.**

**Last ****time, ****on ****Crown ****Games:** Bella argues with Charlie over Edward's life, and makes a deal to have him banished instead of killed. She finally acknowledges that she loves him, and tells him so when she secretly visits him in the Tower. When she's finally able to make herself go back to her room, she falls asleep and wakes with a strong pain begins to build in her chest and the doctor gives her a strong sedative.

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Chapter 26 – Valediction

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EPOV

The prisoner wagon rocks back and forth as the horses pick up speed, carrying me away from my Bella.

_She loves me._

I try not to think of her.

_She __loves __me._

But my mind refuses to let me stop. _And __is __it __such __a __bad __thing, __now?_ I reason. To let Bella be the last thought I have before my end? _Yes_, my mind answers, knowing that if she ever found out…it would destroy her.

_She loves me._

I don't want to go. I know she'll be heartbroken. But there's nothing I can do now. It's too late to fix things. Time has finally run out on us, and I can only move forward…

_She loves me._

Even with the misery I felt, I couldn't help the happiness of what she had told me. Those three words repeat without pause through the daylight as they lead me away.

Only a moment after Bella left, Jasper stood and collected me.

I could not say how long he had been there on the floor, hidden in the cover of his cloak and silently watching us in the Tower, but I did not let it ruin our time. For whatever reason he did not make his presence known—delaying my execution—and for that I was grateful. Though surely it was for her sake and not my own. Still…

It has been several hours since the guards had angrily shoved me from the palace and into the wagon, no doubt being told of what I had 'done.' I could almost hear their desire to slaughter me quickly for hurting her. The trouble was they didn't know how I had really hurt her. Yet I said nothing, choosing to make it all as simple as possible. Did it really matter that I was being punished for one crime when I had already hurt Bella in so many other ways? I didn't think so. I only worried for the trouble this would bring to her, the attention and scandal of it all.

The ache in my chest is stronger. So much so, that I can't ignore how it grows with each pounding beat of my heart. I wonder if she knows of my absence yet. Can she feel the pain of separation as easily as I do?

.

.

.

More hours have passed.

I feel Jasper's eyes upon me from where he sits in the opposite corner, never allowing his guard down. Though it's pointless now. Killing him wouldn't do any good. Being in my right mind also helps the rationalization. He hasn't spoken a word since we left, yet I know he's waiting for the moment, hoping that I'll give him a reason to kill me sooner rather than later.

Because I am going to die.

Bella thought she had secured my freedom, but I knew better than that. Letting me live is nothing but a liability, one the King cannot afford. It made me angry at first, knowing that I was used as a means to tame her. But I couldn't tell Bella that. Not when it gave her such hope.

_She loves me._

I wished I didn't have to lie to her like all the rest. It was for the best, though. Because I understood. I understood that Bella needed to believe I was alive, somewhere, missing and loving her as much as she would me. The only trouble was that she did not understand that death wouldn't stop it. Nothing would make me forget or stop loving her. It was written upon my very soul, as evidenced by the rising pain in my heart.

.

.

.

We have made two stops thus far, letting the men and horses rest, and still we ride. The day has passed slowly and now as the sun sets I wonder where they are taking me, and to what purpose. Surely it didn't matter where I met my end.

"You really do believe you love her. Don't you?"

I am mildly surprised that Jasper bothered to speak to me, let alone ask a question.

He chuckles bitterly. "I guess I should have known. It was fairly obvious how you felt about her. Perhaps it was the reason she thought she cared for you. I cannot see any other design for her to speak such things… "

It was clear that he was waiting for some kind of response, possibly some explanation of it all, but I gave none. I didn't know why Bella loved me, and even if I had, I wouldn't try to account for it. Especially not for Jasper's sake. I didn't owe him anything.

He continued to speak at times, letting a long moment of silence linger after each rambling. I don't care to hear his thoughts or reasonings.

He would never understand what Bella and I had; the connection that ties me to her, the one screaming at me to wrestle my way back to her…

It's almost too much, and I fight to breathe calmly. He says something to me from across the small space, but I'm not listening. It hurts. I can't do this. I have to go back, they have to let me go back…

But I _can__'__t_. The King made that more than clear…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

_**Last Night.**_

I woke alone in the dark, attempting to move, but realized quickly that I couldn't. My hands had been bound, and the cold, stone floor beneath me was not totally unfamiliar. _I__'__m__in__the__Tower_. I struggled to focus my thoughts and what had happened recurs through my mind…

"_Is something troubling you, Edward?"_

"_Are you punishing me?"_

"_Can't? Or won't?"_

"_Is this what you want…?"_

"_Please, Edward."_

_"That's right, love, beg me . . . You don't know what you're doing, Jasper . . . Should I just kill him now, Bella?"_

I sat up, knowing what had happened, what I had done… And it was time to face the consequences.

Silently I waited, wondering if Bella was all right and already knowing she couldn't be. Not after being discovered. It was, perhaps, her greatest fear for us, and I had been too overcome to be cautious.

…The _need_ to have her is yet present. Even now it snakes up my spine and clouds my view. I lick my lips, parched and am suddenly wondering if…_when_ I'll taste her again.

I have to get control of myself. In the recesses of my mind I know thinking of her this way is not acceptable, yet for some reason I don't care. She belongs to me, and I want her.

Frustrated hands run through my hair and I'm trying to think clearly.

The chains are painful, rusted metal cutting into the flesh at my wrists, making them sting at times. After a while my arms are so numb that it matters little. Yet, it was not the only physical pain that I endured now as I suffer this abrupt separation from Bella. I need to see her, but I know that would be impossible. Not now.

With sudden fear, I realized then that I probably would never see my Bella again. And I trembled. "No. No no no no _no __no __no_…" My voice was barely above a harsh whisper.

_It can't be true…_

.

.

.

Minutes—hours?—go by and I think I am myself once more. The need for Bella is still strong, but differently now. I feel pained, weighed down with mourning, knowing she must be in pain also. I want to hold her, to tell her it will be all right. But it's a lie. Nothing good will come of what has been discovered, of this I am certain. Maybe it is better that I've been removed from her life, no longer a burden to keep hidden.

The sound of voices echo up and into the landing, making me wonder why the King will even bother with seeing me.

Yet, here he now stands, while Jasper and the other guards wait outside the bars, creating the illusion of privacy. Yet, I know they will hear every word.

The King does not speak at first when he stands near the dark corner of my prison, and I make no move to lift my eyes and see what expression he carries. It won't matter.

"I consider myself a reasonable man," he begins, speaking too calmly. "But I find that reason strangely misplaced when I have been betrayed by one of my own. Tell me, Edward," he mocks, "have I selfishly not provided enough for you? Because clearly you feel entitled to things that do not belong to you. I have allowed you food, shelter, comforts that no one of your likelihood would ever hope to dream of. I have given you perhaps the most important employment, against my better judgment; already aware of, what I thought to be, your innocent infatuation with my daughter…

"But that wasn't enough, was it?"

A pause.

"Did she encourage you, Edward?" His tone was now falsely conspiratorial, "I do know how women can be. Leading you on with promises and sweet words… Causing you insanity because they know they own you.

"…Trouble is that some women like to play with their admirers." I clenched my fists, knowing he was only trying to make me speak, but I couldn't help the anger at his suggestion of Bella being that kind of woman. Still, he noticed the small movement. "Is that what happened? Were you tired of being a diversion?"

When I still refused to answer his asinine questions his anger and annoyance began to show through in a huff. "Well, go on. Insult me with your defense."

There was none.

"Isabella may think she can fool me into believing that you are kind and honorable. Even saying that you haven't touched her…but we both know better than to accept that. How many times did you lure her to you? Hm? Tell me, Edward. Tell me why you thought you could put _your_ hands on _my_ daughter!" The shout reverberated off the walls with intensity.

He waited a bit longer, watching me, before his final words to me. "Be thankful that you aren't already slowly dying." He turned, speaking to someone—I assumed Jasper—about my leave. "How soon can you be ready?"

"A couple of hours at the most."

"Good. I want that miscreant out of my sight as soon as possible, before I take matters into my own hands."

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

More than two days had passed now, and it was more and more difficult not to think of ways to get back to her. Especially those that did not involve murder and insanity.

Thankfully, though, it seemed that we had finally reached our destination, as I was wrenched out of my holding by on of the soldiers. Another stood opposite and they took my arms leading me through the sparse trees until the first decided to toss me to the ground.

Hate and anger roll off of them as I feel blow after blow from being punched and kicked while I lie on the rough forest floor. Blood pools in my mouth and it feels as though every part of my body is on fire. But I take it as silently as I can because this pain is still no worse than the ache of being parted from her…

"That's enough," Jasper says calmly from somewhere nearby.

I convulse, coughing up copper as I hear him move toward me, drawing sword from scabbard. It shines dully in the cloud-veiled moonlight as he stands over my battered form.

The others have gone.

He speaks, but I only hear certain words through the ringing in my ears, until I can finally make out his meaning.

"…if you live. But I doubt it. And do not misunderstand me; this is only for her sake."

Before I can question what I've heard, the bite of cold steel pierces my skin, slicing effortlessly into my shoulder.

A scream of terror fills my mind, and I have to clench my jaw shut against the ripple of pain as it heightens the throbbing in my chest, groaning as he twists the blade slightly before pulling it out. He snatches something from my throat. "I suppose this will suffice as evidence of your death." My breath is shallow as I recover, no longer hearing anything, save for my heartbeat. Jasper takes his handkerchief and wipes the blood from his sword, wrapping something in the now stained, white cloth.

Without another word he goes, the sound of the wagon fading as I lay gasping among the twigs and dirt. Warmth and wetness trickle from my wound and every inch of my body is screaming in agony.

I clench my eyes shut. It hurts to breathe, to think, to live. The image of Bella invades my mind, her sweet, smiling face and the thought that she's safe and away from this horror. I can only pray that she'll never know what happened.

I send up a silent prayer that she will forget me. That she can be happy. I had hoped that I could be a part of that happiness, but it was never meant to be.

Yet… It does not stop me now from imagining what could have been if I was good enough.

All I wanted was now fluttering in my mind like moving pictures.

A proper courtship, since I would not have been so close to her as a proper gentleman. Days walking arm in arm. Stealing kisses. Asking her to be mine. Watching her walk toward me in a simple, white dress, wildflowers in her hair and hands. Those same hands wrapped around her round stomach… I thought of that little girl we had met in the park, but different… A perfect, tiny Bella, with her smile and nose and heart-shaped face. But with green eyes and copper curls… _Our __child._ The image of her is so real, that I'm speechless even in thought.

The visions never stop through the night until even those are too painful to think of, save for one.

_She loves me._

It is the only thought I can concentrate on now.

.

.

.

Eventually I notice there is a chill in the wind, causing shivers along with the slow tremors. I can feel the call of sleep, but I don't want to stop thinking of her, to let go of her even as my body ceases to function. I shift slightly and quickly wish I hadn't as my injuries make themselves known once more all over…except in my left arm. The breath I have left is shallow and I wonder how many hours have passed now as I see the sky flicker with stars between the clouds above.

_Won__'__t __be __long __now, _I think, closing my eyes. I'm so tired, and I just want this nightmare to be ended.

Images of Bella invade my mind once more and I can almost hear her calling out to me. As much as I am thankful she doesn't know, a part of me is still selfish enough to wish that I could hold her one last time… Breathe in her scent and hear her voice. See her smile…her eyes…

_She loves me._

Even now the joy is still here. If I was not so numb I would smile. At least I know that there is one who thought me worthy of love... Who will remember me. It's pathetic, but somehow this gives me comfort. I only hope that I would find her again, someway in the next life…if it even exists. I've never been a religious man, but I was suddenly praying that if it were possible, I could be granted at least that.

I hear the faint snap of a twig.

I wonder idly if there are wild animals close by. Hmm. There must be, I suppose, because I weakly hear something coming closer.

I'm losing consciousness too quickly now to care, though.

I sense more than feel something touch my throat; too numb from being cold and broken.

All I can think of is her beautiful face and I won't let anything distract me from these last seconds as I silently say my goodbyes.

More movement surrounds me and I struggle to stay awake, to focus on my love. Before I slip away, one voice speaks in the void...

"It's time."

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**A/N: *Peers through small opening in the door* Next update will be December 3. Please review.**


	27. Part I, Flare

***~*~*! SURPRISE !*~*~***

***cue confetti, noise makers, and fanfare***

**Since there were SO MANY reviews for the last chapter, and such kind words, I worked my butt off (ouch!) and got this chapter ready early because I wanted to say thank you to all of you who have given me almost 300 reviews (wow!):**

**SamWinchesterxgirl, eil-rose, Sweetie7smiled, GabzR, DreamerRoad, PiecesOfMyHeartAreMissingYou, CassieCat97, SuperK4141, -WaitingToBeFound-, SSAjane, Haley, Anne-Marith, sophia18, DeArPrUdEnCe03, chrisandmer, Bebe, alc219, Snow17, ELIluvsEDWARD, teambellaedward, rachel000, StephyF, MelkiSihou, lechatfute, medward (all of you!), taylorishotterthanrob, deranged-dreamer, Elizabeth, sidewaysgrace, ash82, aussietwilight, oo2uniq4uoo, EmoryB123, fangrl01, zuni-yesi, Midnight Angels Say Goodnight, siren of titan, Edward-Jacob4ever01, bellamassencullen, abw2442, DutchGirl01, marypoppinscollar, Terenthia, TeamEdwardKat, BellaEdwardJacobLove, TD69, AlexaBrandonCullen, ontopoftheworld, Fates-Love-Queen, secretobsession7, KStuart, mayi84, messy, flavia, Fleur50, arian123, TheDay'sEye, DayDreamer23-2, MuggleFaceMoi, CRAZYCARE4, dreamngo4it9, SempreLove, hawkeye1958, The Lion And The Lamb For Ever, Cuttlefish, Elana86, YellowFlowers1922, labellavampira…**

**AND! To all 250+ of you (sorry for not writing all your names, lol) who are putting me and/or my story on your alerts and favorites, plus all you anonymous readers out there…**

**THANK YOU! :D **

**You'll never know how much you guys all mean to me, and I am very thankful for your feedback, support, general silliness, and just that you come back to read more with each update! Hehe! Without all of it, this story wouldn't have gotten this far, so thanks! It's been a huge blessing and encouragement!**

**Happy Thanksgiving!**

**Love and kisses, Amy**

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

****WARNING: Blood and violence and death threats mentioned in this chapter. Please be careful if that bothers you. And I must give a slight disclaimer about taking creative license with the reporting of an…injury. I have no real understanding of anatomy, so hopefully my research has made this somewhat plausible in spite of my lack of knowledge. **

**Last ****time, ****on ****Crown ****Games: **Edward reflects on what he's done, and knows he must face the consequences of what has happened. He is left, broken and alone, somewhere far in the woods, saying a silent goodbye to his love…

**This chapter picks up right at the end of 25, after Bella has fallen asleep because of the doctor's medication.**

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Chapter 27 – Part I, Flare

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BPOV

_I'm alone. And it's cold._

_So cold._

"_Isabella…" The wind whispers. _

_The trees are sparse and dead, but I still cannot seem to navigate through them as my search goes on through the shroud of night._

_I keep walking, searching… For what, I am unsure._

"_Isabella…"_

_I turn, hearing the voice behind me. _

_But there is nothing as my eyes seek._

_I turn back, and he's there suddenly, standing too tall, too strong with tanned skin… Watching me with blood on his lips and death in his raven eyes._

Gasping, I wake; eyes open wide as I struggle to see… But I cannot. Because there is no light.

It's dark.

_No,_ it can't be dark.

My heart beats faster, and I'm frightened. It's too dark. The pain in my chest has grown, but I feel too weak to move, as though a weight rests on every part of me.

"Please…" I whimper into the darkness. Tears trace down from the corner of my eyes, and I'm so tired. "_Edward_."

How long have I been sleeping? Minutes? Hours? I need to get up. I need to see him. He can't leave me yet…

I try to move, but it takes all my strength to turn my body towards the edge of my bed, where someone must have moved me from the window. Dizziness blurs my mind, and I fall back, weaker than before.

…_Help me._

.

.

.

"Isabella?"

"Mmm." Someone is…calling me.

"Isabella, how are you feeling?"

I try to open my eyes, but… I am so fatigued. Thinking is…difficult. _The __ache__…_

"Why can she not wake up? Is something the matter Doctor?"

_Edward,_ I wanted to say. _I __need __him._

"She must be particularly sensitive to the sedative. I had to give her more to subdue her painful outcries last evening… It doesn't make sense. I cannot find anything wrong with her."

_Why…does it hurt…so much? _

"Well, keep searching. My daughter should not be in pain."

"I understand Your Majesty, but—"

"But nothing. Help her."

"Yes, my Lady."

.

.

.

_I'm running now, hearing his footfalls behind me. Tears fall, blurring my vision and I am frightened._

_He calls my name once more. Taunting me._

Too close, _I __think, __knowing __that __I __won__'__t __get __away. __But __I __have __to. __I __have __to __run __at __all __costs __or __he__'__ll __take __me __away__…__into __the __darkness. __I __can__'__t __go. __I __will __not __survive __in __the __shadows._

_The light is ahead… So close. _

_Edward is there, waiting. I know it._

_But I falter, slipping to the cold forest floor when my foot is caught on a root._

"_You cannot escape…" Burning pain stabs my heart. _

_Hands seize me, dragging me away from Edward, back into the black night…_

Terror-filled screaming escapes me, and I open my eyes, shaking my head. The faint light in my room from the fireplace casts a foreboding glow, and I close my eyes once more, seeing my nightmares. _It __isn__'__t __real, __it __isn__'__t __real__… _

I'm gasping, and there is…something wrong.

Something terribly wrong.

I try to sit up, to gain some balance, but I cannot move my left arm. The right moves to my shoulder, and…I encounter wetness. My hand moves away just as others enter my room. They speak from somewhere far away, shocked and fearful sounding, but I cannot look from the sight of my hand…

Dripping with blood.

I slip, falling away from the world once more for an instant.

_It __can__'__t __be __real__…_

Waking nightmares vividly invade my thoughts, but suddenly I see him. _Edward._ He's here! Lying beside me as hands poke and prod at my body, voices crying out.

"Edward…?" His eyes are not open. "Edward. Look at me." Why won't he listen?

"_What's happened?"_

"_What was—Oh my God."_

"_Please, I need space."_

"Edward, please," I beg, reaching for him, but I'm too far from where he lies in the dirt and darkness... Just out of my reach.

"_Isabella?"_

"_What is going on!"_

"_Bring more bandages and cloths! I need to stop the bleeding."_

I flinch. Someone is touching my throat, but I can't look away from him. "Edward?"

"_The anesthetic, doctor."_

"_Go ahead."_

Something is wrong. He can't hear me. Why? "Edward, I need you…"

My vision of him blurs, and I cannot keep my eyes open. Voices and meaningless words vaguely cloud my mind…

.

.

.

"_What do you mean you cannot stop it?"_

"_I am sorry."_

"_I __still __do __not __understand, __how __did __this __happen? _What _has __happened?__"_

"_I cannot know, Your Majesties. But whatever it was, it has done her great damage." A sigh. "There are bruises over much of her body, and from what I can gather she has three cracked ribs and a fracture in her right leg. The Princess has a deep puncture in her left shoulder, which has seemed to sever a major group of nerves, causing complete paralysis in her left arm. Also, the wound has cut into a part of her subclavian artery, which is causing most of the blood loss… This is why I cannot stop the bleeding. She's losing too much, too quickly, and the wound is too delicate to be repaired."_

_Someone is crying. _

"_Your daughter is fading. The amount of blood loss has slowed slightly due to her rested state from the medication I have injected, but, I am afraid I have done all I can do at this point."_

"_No, no, no…"_

"_How… How long?"_

"…_A day, at the most. I am truly sorry, Sire."_

.

.

.

My eyes fluttered open with a small gasp, hearing a thunderclap in the distance. The faint flash of lightening that followed stung my eyes and I blinked back tears, looking to find some kind of foothold on what has happened. Rain is falling and the wind is howling against the window.

Thoughts blur and spin.

_I have to get up. I have to find him._

Having no other option, I turn my wearied eyes to see I am lying in my bed, my left arm wrapped in a fabric support and resting across my stomach. There is no feeling in it, but the need for Edward outweighs the confusion of everything else. I struggle with drowsiness and pain as I force my head to turn, seeing my mother, asleep in the chair beside my bed.

_I have to be quiet, or she'll stop me. Can't allow that. I have to find him…_

Teeth dig painfully into my lower lip as I manage to turn my body and attempt to stand, catching myself single handedly on the bedpost when my legs are too feeble to hold me. Thankfully the storm outside muffles my whimper and I swallow the ache and dizziness back, forcing myself to stand, nearly silent, and slowly and painfully make way towards the door, leaning on anything within my reach to steady the spinning room.

I open the door carefully, peering out to see that the guards have left and no one else is about. I know I should use the secret path, but I'm too frightened, too unsteady. I force back the rising weakness and stumble along, clutching the wall for support as I make my way toward the Tower. Each step is more difficult then the last, but I have no choice. Edward is my only hope. Only thought… _He__'__ll __make __it __better._

My breathing is too shallow, too quick. I near the end of the hall, gasping, fighting…but it's not enough, and I drop to my knees first, before collapsing against the wall and resting my head on the decorative table adjacent to it.

There are soft footfalls and I'm drowning in fear until I see it is Angela, walking toward me with linen strips and bandages stacked high in her arms. She's crying, and when she notices me her eyes are wide and fearful.

"My Lady!" She cries, dropping her things and kneeling beside me.

"Shh! Be silent." I gasp, blinking back tears.

"You are awake!"

I shook my head. Time was wasting here.

"Come, we must return you to bed, my Lady. You are gravely ill."

"_No_," I hiss through clenched teeth. "Hear me, Angela: you must help me to the Tower. I have to see Edward."

"No…no, I cannot."

My hand found her arm, gripping it tightly as I fought to breathe. "Yes, you will, or I shall go alone."

"Please, my Lady, you must rest—"

"Very well." I pushed her away, attempting to stand. Nothing was going to stop me.

"But… But he has been taken away."

My eyes met her own sharply. "What?"

"He has been absent for many days."

I shook my head. "No… He, he cannot be. It is…too soon." Fear was taking root in my mind. I attempted to control my gasping breath and falling tears. "What day is it?"

"'Tis Friday, just after dawn."

"No, that… That's not possible." It couldn't be. It seemed as though I had been with Edward only yesterday. How could I have lost six days? _Wrong, __all __wrong._ "What happened?" I shook her for good measure when she only stared back, speechless. "Where did they take him? Speak!"

"I—I do not know!" She cried. "The Captain left with him the next morning after the Solstice from what I have discovered. He has returned this very moment to the Palace, to speak with the King."

Jasper. He had taken my Edward? Fear and anger were at war with me, and I wanted his head. "_Where_?"

"The King's Study, I believe, my Lady."

"Come, help me."

Though reluctant, Angela aided me down the stairs and along the far hall until we reached the door to my father's study. They would tell me where he was, _or __so __help __me_… I clutched my useless arm and gritted my teeth until we had reached the study. I didn't care about anything but finding him. The need was too much. There was no other choice as Angela helped me to open the door.

Father stood in front of Jasper with a grave face, holding something in his hand out in front of him. Jasper stood stoic, but for a smile hinting at the corner of his mouth.

Made of heavy wood, the door swung open and crashed against the wall, alerting the two men across the room to my presence. They turned, evidently stunned by my appearance.

"Isabella?" Father spoke.

"What have you done?" I hissed.

Wind and rain shrieked from the windows behind them, rattling the panes.

Father took a step toward me, still in clear shock.

"Where is he? Where have you taken him? Tell me this inst…"

I blinked, finding my voice absent as I saw what was swaying in my father's hand was a gold pendant. My eyes were fully open now; time had become frozen as I looked on in disbelief.

_No, __it __couldn__'__t __be__…_

But it was.

There was no mistaking it…

Covered in blood and in my father's hand…was the pendant that never left Edward's neck.

An ear-piercing scream and shattering sound filled the room as time continued once more, and I clutched my ears with both hands, falling to the floor as a new burning pain spread beneath my skin.

Biting wind swirled from broken glass and mocked me as it danced about the room in chaos.

_Dead_.

_Dead_. _Dead_.

_Dead_. _Dead_. _Dead_. _Dead_.

_Dead_.

The vile word echoed agonizingly through my mind, shredding apart my soul, and tearing open my heart.

_No… No! NO!_

Trembling fingers twisted and tugged at my hair, wanting to rip the image I had seen from my mind, from what it was telling me…

_Dead_. _Dead_. _Dead_. _Dead_…

Another scream of agony tore through my body, and I wanted blood. I could taste it on my tongue and my whole being demanded vengeance.

Tears clouded my vision and everything good turned to evil…

Light became dark…

Joy gave way to rage…

Love was poisoned with hate…

And all that stood in my world was consumed in one torturous blaze. Leaving me alone. Without hope. Without purpose.

Without love…

_Kill,_ my thoughts whispered, demanding retribution.

I could only obey as my eyes sought him out, vaguely aware of the tumult of the storm inside the room.

But nothing took my focus as I found his gaze despite the dark locks of my hair that flickered about my vision. His eyes were wary and gray, watching me with fear and confusion and pain. He didn't know these, though. Not yet.

I could see the light inside him, burning like a fire as it flickered brightly, mockingly. My trembling form watched as his hands were suddenly around his throat as he struggled for his miserable life. I watched the fire diminish little by little as my desire for his death grew, wanting to snuff it out with all my strength.

Father reached for me but I threw him back, letting nothing stop me. The light was almost out, and I smiled as he knelt on the rain-soaked floor.

_No one can take my Edward from me._

My concentration was broken when a hand came down upon my throat, and all became darkness…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Someone stood close to my head, whispering words that I could not decipher while their fingers were pressed to either side of my brow.

I flinched, feeling a force push at my mind.

"_Why __did __this __happen?__"_ A voice asked.

Footsteps echoed in the empty space. I could feel nothing from my body, yet the ache in my chest was still present.

"_What __are __you __doing?__" _He spoke again.

The whispers halted._ "Attempting to undo whatever has caused this compromise. Clearly the charm has no further function."_

_"I do not understand this. The doctor said she was dying—"_

_"And this somehow renewed her." _The other snapped._ "I am not aware of the details, Charles. I can only do so much. Be thankful I arrived before it became worse."_

A groan._ "Damn it all. This was not supposed to happen! They were supposed to be safe!"_

_"You should not be here... Go. Rest. I will tend to her."_

.

.

.

There was no warmth here. No comfort. My eyes searched the room, finding one small candle, lit faintly. I felt the small warmth from it, wishing there was some way to bring it closer, feel its protection in this dark place as I shivered, still writhing with pain.

The place where I lay was smooth and hard. I tried to move, but it seemed someone had bound me to this place. Hands and legs were latched down at my wrists and ankles. One heavy strap secured my waist; another bound my throat, though this one was not as rigid as the others. None gave but an inch as I attempted to liberate myself.

_Edward._

Memories fluttered past my vision and I groaned, feeling the anger—the hate—as I realized my desire for blood had been thwarted.

_They __had __to __pay. __All __of __them. _I saw Jasper in my mind, my father…mother…all who had never treated my love with the reverence he deserved. I would make them all suffer as I did.

Minutes or hours passed and I waited, filling the silence and darkness with plots of torture. I watched our enemies fall over and over again in my thoughts.

And yet…as the time stretched on I grew weaker, knowing that he was gone. Extinguished. What was the point in my vengeance when I had nothing left to live for?

_Edward._ My heart beat his name, and I hated it. Praying it would cease to beat.

Death was my only hope to be with him again. I had never wanted anything so much…

My whole being cried out for too many things, making me feel as though I were being torn apart at times.

There was a stirring suddenly from somewhere beside me in the darkness. I realized quickly then that I was not alone.

"Who…who's there?" I whispered, hearing the rasp in my words.

He didn't answer, but I was able to make out his form once I had made my eyes adjust to the darkness.

"Father? Is it you?"

"…Yes."

He would help me. I would make him if I had to. There was only one way... And so, I let the pain consume me, hoping he would take pity as I showed the torrent inside me. I flinched now, feeling more sharply the pain of anguish dig deeper into my heart. _Uh!_

"Pl—Please… It, it hurts."

"Do not worry, precious. You will be well again soon now."

But I shook my head. "Never. Never again."

He took a small step closer, wary, as he should be. "Isabella—"

"I cannot live. Too much…" I cried out, the pain flaring once more in my agony.

He watched in shock before moving to my side in earnest. "What can I do? Tell me, what can I do?"

I looked to my father's eyes intently, seeing them wide and focused, knowing I had him in my reach. "Do you not love me, Father?"

"Yes. Yes of course I do."

"Then why will you not help me?"

"I will! Tell me, precious. I will do anything," he vowed, almost completely entranced.

I felt him submit to me, knowing I had only to speak now…

"Kill me," I breathed, watching a flicker of doubt enter his gaze, "Please, father. It hurts… So much. Help me."

"Isabella…" He wavered, and I fought to keep my hold.

"Please. Please, Father… I cannot suffer this. It is too much. I need to be with him. Help me… Kill me. Kill me so I can be with him. I need him. Do not leave me to suffer so…"

Father moved slowly, listening to my words without realization as he drew the sword at his side, locked in my stare.

I smiled as he began to nod and raise his weapon. "Thank you, Father. Do it quickly now. Hurry. _Please_…"

He raised it high…

"Stop!" A hand appeared suddenly around his, halting the blade.

"NO!" I screamed. No! So close! I shrieked and fought against the restraints as the blazing fire raged more agonizing from my disappointment. My hands pulled and twisted, wanting to reach up and claw my chest open and rip the heart from it… "Ahhh!"

"I didn't mean to…"

"Yes, I know. This is why I told you to stay away. Go now, Charles… Be still, Isabella!"

The other man began to speak words around me, causing my strength to dissipate.

"Please, no! _Please_…" But my voice was no use any longer. My mind became darkness yet again.

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**A/N: Sorry for the shortness. Next official update is still next week: December 3. :) Well, hopefully… Might be a few days late due to Christmas decorating this Friday! YAY! :D (My fortress needs color! And lights! *grins* lol.)**

**Oh, and for those of you who saw it, what did you think of Breaking Dawn? Huge disappointment for me, as usual. Ugh. I think it was actually worse than the first one (and that's saying something)… Eh. If you thought different, though, I'd love to argue with you! ;) Hahaha! **


	28. Part II, Purge

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

***Waves white flag and slowly crawls out of fortress* Ahh! So VERY sorry for the horrible lateness. Was very busy the last several weeks and being sick and finals at school in December, and terrible writer's block just did not help. Had to rewrite this whole thing over because of it. You have any idea how painful it is to delete a whole chapter and start over? Answer: _very_. :P It's still not my best writing, but it get's the point across, I guess (despite being much shorter than I wanted. Ugh). But anyways, thanks for your patience! :)**

**HUGE apologies to those of you who were kind enough to leave me a review for last chapter, too. So sorry I didn't answer! *Lowers face in shame* I hope you'll forgive me and review again, because I loved reading your comments! Special thanks also to MelkiSihou for her diligence in asking me, "When's the next chapter coming?" :) If you haven't read her story Origins yet, get on that, cause it's on the verge of completion!**

****WARNING** This chapter contains instances of suicidal thoughts/actions. Please proceed with caution if that bothers you.**

**Last time, on Crown Games: **Bella struggled to stay awake and understand what had been going on around her since the doctor gave her a sedative. She discovers some terrible news amid all the confusion and pain and nightmares, and now is trying to make sense of what actually happened during that time…

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Chapter 28 – Part II, Purge

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BPOV

_Snow fell, blanketing the forest in flawless white and freezing the earth beneath my bare feet. _

_I was running. From what, I could not say. Each time I dared to turn back I could only make out the black wisps of shadows, creeping closer upon the white fabric of my dress that billowed out behind me._

_The light was fading in front, and I cried out, seeking its help. But there was no answer._

"_This way,_" _a voice called. I turned to see the girl, Alice, beckoning me. I changed course, following behind her as she led us toward a great stone building. We passed the small pillars, onto the grounds and I turned with wide eyes to see the shadows could not pass. We were safe here._

"_Come, Bella_," _she said. "It's time."_

_I nodded, letting her lead me inside the looming wooden doors. _

_It was cold and dark, but for the few candles that made a pathway to the end of the aisle before us._

_I looked up and saw a great throne sitting upon the dais, carved out of black marble and gold. There were men standing about it in dark cloaks, hoods drawn against the faint light. One sat on the throne, hooded in darkness as the others were. Before them was a wide table, made also of the dark marble._

_Alice led me forward, the candles shining brighter as we passed before dimming again._

_We had reached the end, and my eyes never left the one on the throne. The Dark One. I passed around the table and knelt before him with my head bowed in submission, knowing that I had to please him, offering myself into his power._

_He stood, removing the cloak slowly before stepping into the light before me._

"_Rise," he commanded._

_I did, and he was upon me, breathing in my scent as his face pressed into my throat. His hands slid downward from my hair, across my shoulders and along my arms, caressing every inch of my body until they wrapped forcefully about my thighs. He bent slightly, lifting me onto the table behind us._

_I laid back slowly, spreading my arms out as two of the others came forward to bind my wrists._

_The Dark One crept onto the table, lingering above me now, with sinister eyes and a dagger in his hand. "To whom to you belong, Isabella?" He ran the dull side along my cheek, his now amber gaze devouring my flesh._

"_You." I whispered. "Only you, Edward."_

_He smiled, holding the dagger above my heart. _

_I closed my eyes, waiting, hoping…but he groaned and I looked to see that he had plunged the dagger into his own heart, still smiling as blood poured from the wound onto my chest._

"_Oh, Bella…" He laughed cruelly, "Did you truly believe you were good enough?"_

I awoke, gasping and reaching for him. The throbbing in my heart was still present, and I was unbearably frightened.

"…_E…Edward?_" I could only manage a whisper, my throat too sore. My eyes searched about the room as my body shook uncontrollably.

But, he was not here.

I was in my bed, a small fire in the hearth lighting the empty room around me. Horrible, blurred images danced across my vision, and I my hands clutched my head, not knowing what to believe. Darkness. Weeping. Blood. Running. Glass shattering. Anger. Torture… Pain. Horrible pain.

_No._ It couldn't be possible…

I flew out of the bed, clumsily kneeling down to the catacombs' entrance with trembling hands and legs. I grabbed for the candle, lighting it without bothering to use the chamberstick. I went along as quickly as I could. Hot wax was dripping across my fingers, but I barely felt the burn, too distracted by the fear of what the pain I already carried meant. _Please, please, don't let it be true._ I pushed the other door open, snuffing out the candle as I inched inside.

I knew I was alone, despite the darkness. I felt along the walls until I had reached the light switch, illuminating what should have been his room. But it was no longer.

The wardrobe was empty. The bed had been stripped. His few possessions gone. There was no sign of him anywhere…

Silent tears fell as I collapsed to the floor, my head shaking in useless denial. And I realized that my nightmare was true in that moment. He hadn't just left me… They made sure I would never be able to see him again.

Suddenly, I couldn't breathe.

An image stood before me of blood on my hands. But not my blood. It was his. It was my fault.

_I had killed him._

Muted anguish consumed me as I lay here, gasping, still praying for it to not be real.

Anything. I would give anything for it not to be true. _Oh God, please…please…please…_

Eventually they found me here, and I was carried away, back to the confines of my bedchamber. I was vaguely aware of my surroundings… Of Mother, reprimanding someone for letting me get by his watch; of the doctor, examining me and asking questions that I couldn't hear. But this was all meaningless compared to the emotions I was drowning under. I wanted to scream, to fight, to do…_something_. Anything. But I couldn't make myself move or speak. As though a weight had settled over my body. As though I not longer had control of myself.

They laid me in my bed once more, and I turned away, still gasping. Still drowning.

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

A great emptiness had washed over me. I was hollow, without true feeling or desire. The burning ache of loss consumed all of me. The last two days since I had finally awoken had been a silent torture. I could not understand how my heart kept beating under such pain.

I sat at the window seat, watching as rain fell against the glass. Droplets making meaningless lines as they travelled further down the window. Outside, the ground was strangely dotted with white where snow had fallen from a passing storm. It was the second of October.

"What can you remember?" The doctor asked again, examining my left arm again. His touch made my skin crawl. Or, it would have, if I were not so unfeeling.

He paused his examination, waiting for a response. He had asked me once before, and my reply was the same.

"I…I don't know."

"Do try, Isabella."

My eyes closed as I thought. It was difficult. "There was…pain. An ache. The same I have now… Darkness. Someone wanted to hurt me? No…" I paused, trying to separate the reality from the nightmares.

"And your injuries?" He asked softly.

"I remember blood, and—" _him,_ "—uh…feeling faint. Someone was weeping."

"What else?"

It was all a blur. Nothing made sense. "Leaving my chamber… the stairs… Going to the King… Screaming and, and b-broken glass…"

"Go on, my dear."

I clenched my eyes shut, shaking my head. "Nothing. There is nothing after that." Only shadows and pain.

A tired sigh came when I made no other response. "Very well, Your Highness. I shall see you tomorrow, then. Good day."

I didn't answer. It would not be a good day. There were none left now, nor would there ever be.

Mother entered the room then.

From the corner of my eye, I saw the doctor gain Mother's attention, pulling her aside and speaking quietly. I suppose they did not realize I could still hear them.

"Any change?"

"I am afraid not, Your Majesty. She is, of course, much better, but her body is still very frail. I'm afraid it will be weeks before she will be completely healed physically. It is the most important thing right now. We can deal with her mental trauma at a later point, I suppose."

"I see. So, what can I do to help?"

There was a pause. "See that she eats. And make sure she has plenty of rest. Any excitement could make things worse."

A few pleasantries were exchanged, and he left.

_If only she had gone with him_.

Angela had appeared sometime in the midst of this, laying out the tray of food she had brought. Pointless. I had no appetite despite the empty feeling. I would always be empty. Hollow. Because my heart was missing…

A tremor of pain rippled through me.

"Isabella? Are you all right?" Mother asked, noticing. She had been overly attentive every moment since I had awoken.

_Of course I am not._

"Precious, are you hungry? I've had Ms. Cope prepare you some dinner. And look," she said, trying to coax my eyes away from the rain, "she's made your favorite for desert, chocolate truffles."

Another tremor.

They were not _my_ favorites.

"Isabella?"

"Take it back."

"But you must—"

I turned my gaze on her pathetic form. "Take. It. Back."

Eyes wide, Mother called one of the girls to remove the tray. My view returned to the window.

Suddenly, a hand rested on mine. I flinched, causing her to remove it, and she struggled not to weep. It made no difference to me if she did. I only allowed her to stay because she had kept the King from my chamber. I did not know what I would do if I should be forced to look at him, my betrayer.

Mother collected herself at last, and began to speak of activities to do, somehow attempting to distract me.

A fool's errand.

Only one thought consumed my mind: death. It was the only path left to end this, this…_anguish_.

If only I had help. Someone to take pity on me. Because I could not do it for myself.

I had already tried. Three times, in fact. Drowning myself in the bath, slicing through the delicate skin of my wrists, poisoning my water with ink and anything else I could find. I did not care how death came, only that it did. But when the moment came to near completion, something stopped me. It was like I had been restrained, unable to finish it.

Frustration accompanied the tumult of emotions and I was ready to scream at times, until a strange lack of feeling once again came over me, and I remembered that I was nothing now…

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

More meaningless days had passed as I watched the endless cycles of light turn to dark, and dark turn to light outside my window.

The doctor had come once again today, but there was no change to my state, and he left quickly. Hours passed, and I wished there were some way to stop the hurt that had no end, the constant shaking of my hands. There had to be a way…

Sometime in the afternoon I felt a presence behind me. If I had any emotion left, I would have been annoyed at this intrusion. Did they not understand how I hated them all?

"It was him that you spoke of…wasn't it?"

Jasper's voice was low, cautious, and strangely rough. I heard him slowly walk closer and sit down carefully at the opposite end of the window seat. I spared him no glance. "When we first danced at the Spring Ball last year, after my father had reacquainted us… Even then he had a hold on you."

I had almost forgotten what I had told Jasper that night, the memory of being rescued from Demetri the more significant event in my mind. At least he had the sense to avoid speaking his name.

"It was more obvious from him," Jasper continued when I made no confirmation or denial, "his devotion to you. It was much more than a servant should have for his sovereign." From the corner of my eye I noticed his head shake in denial. "I suppose I cannot blame you for it. You have yet to see the selfish nature of those beneath us. How they manipulate and take advantage of every situation. I had hoped this was different. After all, your father was the one to appoint him, and so I thought, too, that there was something admirable about his character."

Jasper went on, telling me of the times he had had to 'suffer' watching _him_ be close to me; noticing how my hand would linger on _his_ arm, or the way _he_ watched me so possessively. As though it was wrong.

"…But, it is over. You are safe from the spell he cast over you and we can have a true chance now." He placed his hand on my own. I looked down, blindly staring at where he was touching me. "I…I realize that some of the affection you felt was not only his doing. You must know that I am sorry to have caused you any pain, especially in speaking of him this way if front of you… I also know that you do not see me as I had hoped. That your acceptance of my proposal was at the insistence of others, but Isabella… My wish is that you would grant me a chance."

His words made no sense. There was some meaning in them I could not understand. A chance for what?

He took a deep breath. "Once we are married, I will not ask much of you. You may do as you wish and I shall tend to my duties with the soldiers. But the kingdom will need to see us every so often, as a united front…

"And, of course, we must produce an heir, so I shall come to you…until that matter is settled."

I tore my hand from beneath his, the disgusting thought of his touch causing my skin to crawl and bile to rise in my throat. _Why had I even let him touch me at all?_

"I understand that he's… That, that I am not the first to share your bed… but I—"

He stopped, hearing the bitter laugh that escaped me.

"You think you have it all figured out, then?" I asked, turning to him then and wondering if he was truly that stupid, just as everyone else was. It seemed so.

Some emotion flitted across Jasper's expression, but it was gone as soon as it came, and his brow was set in determination. He swallowed roughly, and I was vaguely aware of the strange bruising marks on his throat, barely visible beneath his high shirt collar. "I am not naïve, Isabella. I may have…misinterpreted what happened that night, but I have since learned just how close you had become with him."

"You know _nothing_ about him. Nor me. And you will _never_ understand what we had." My voice was only a harsh whisper, the most emotion I could gather against him and his foolish, false impressions. The desire to defend my love was strong, but the short outburst was strangely exhausting, and I fell silent while turning to rest my pounding head against the window. Any argument I could make would not matter in the slightest. No one would take my word as fact. Another injustice, as _his_ name would be forever tainted.

I closed my eyes, attempting to control my accelerated breaths even as I once again unwillingly imagined his blood upon my hands.

"Isabella, I… I do not wish to see you this way," Jasper spoke softly. "It wounds me that the result of my orders has such an affect upon you. But it was not my choice. Orders are orders, and what's done is done. I can only hope that you can, someday, look past this...and perhaps find a place in your heart for me, too."

_Never._

He stood quietly then, placing something in my hand and left. I could no longer hold back the sobs that overtook me when I realized what it was… _His_ pendant and chain, now clear of the blood I had seen… And…

_Ah_. My head throbbed abruptly once more, cutting off all thought.

I clutched the gold to my chest, feeling the ache burn brighter within, and hating Jasper all the more. He had ruined everything and was still being kind to me despite the way I had used him. He still wanted to marry me. _For love? For gain? At the insistence of someone else?_ These questions filled my mind, yet I wasn't sure which motive was genuine. It mattered little, because I could never do that, even knowing I would never see _him_ again. The betrayal had cut too deep. My heart had no place for Jasper. It had already been spoken for, and now it was gone. _Dead_. Ripped from my chest with pointed, cruel hands.

The pain was all consuming, never waning, never giving me a moment's respite. The only thing I could do was look out the window and try not to see all the memories that lingered in this room. Everything reminded me of _him_.

I could not even close my eyes without dark visions.

I wanted to get away from all this. But I couldn't die, and I didn't have anyone to take me away… I didn't have a reason to go now, anyway.

But…there was no reason to stay, either. It felt as though I did not even belong here anymore. As though...I never had.

_I don't belong here._

It was strange, my small revelation. To realize that I didn't, no couldn't exist without the one person who made me whole. My eyes suddenly scanned the faintly lit room, wondering…

Almost absently, I put the gold chain around my neck…

The next moment I was fastening my cloak and running, moving too quickly through the catacombs for my weak limbs as I raced to the outlet nearest the stables. I was very careful. Perhaps too cautious, even, but I couldn't take a chance of being seen.

I made it outside and into the stable quickly, and thankfully there was no one in sight as I walked to where Síla was housed. I took a shuddering breath, trying to be calm as I rested my head against her soft mane. "We have to go," I told her. "Nothing is left for us in this place."

There was never a thought to leave her behind, but when I looked up once more I realized that it was the wrong choice. It was startling to see that they hadn't somehow made him disappear, too. But he was the one who deserved to be free, and so I made apologies to my Síla and in her place lead Masen away into the dark, rainy night.

It was a difficult task, pulling him along the Palace walls without gaining the attention of the guards that patrolled. I only willed them not to notice. Once we had reached the gardens it was easier, moving through the narrow gates to freedom. As soon as I was sure we were far enough into the wood I climbed astride him and rode quickly away from my gilded cage, never looking back.

The night was cold as I pushed Masen faster into the trees. I wasn't sure which direction we were headed in, but I didn't care as long as we kept moving. The sky lightened before I allowed us to rest. I led him to the stream nearby for a drink and then made a resting place some distance away.

Masen knelt down to rest, and I realized that I might have pressed him too hard in my need to escape. "Sorry. I guess I wasn't thinking," I explained, reaching into the satchel I had taken from the stables and produced an apple for him. I ran my fingers through his mane while he stared at me with sad eyes, as if he knew what had become of his master. I felt the sting of tears for the first time since we had gone. The ache was still strong, but as I sat here in the middle of the forest I felt…almost comforted in my grief. It was quiet, and no one was around to question my grieving.

.

.

.

I hadn't even realized I had allowed myself to fall asleep until my eyes flew open hours later amid the coming dusk, another nightmare making my heart constrict. I got up quickly, then, sure that I had lost too much time. The distance we had rode was not much, and by now they would be looking for me.

My stomach twisted with emptiness and my head spun even as the throbbing of my heart pounded in my ears. But still I carried on, riding day and night, now toward the East, away from what was once my home. It was possibly the most reckless thing I had ever done on my own. Or possibly not.

The one thing I knew now was that my body was impossibly heavy with the weight of pain, malnourishment, and sleeplessness. I was sure that even Masen was feeling weak, too, though I had taken much better care of him than I did myself. As was evidenced by the growing delirium I felt with each passing day.

Last night I had laid in the grass and stared at the twinkling stars that peered through the parted clouds, thinking about my miserable existence now and that I had made so many terrible choices with this life. I had promised myself not to fall in love like the foolish people I had read about. But it was no use. _He_ had already had me from that first moment we spoke. Now I felt like Juliette, waking in the tomb to find her love already dead. Only she had succeeded where I had failed. At least they had some happiness… She was more fortunate than I. Her words echoed through my mind as I watched the stars brighten the dark shroud of night.

_Come, gentle night; come, loving, black-brow'd night;_

_Give me my Romeo; and, when he shall die,_

_Take him and cut him out in little stars,_

_And he will make the face of heaven so fine_

_That all the world will be in love with night_

_And pay no worship to the garish sun._

My thoughts of last evening were interrupted then, when I encountered another strange thing. It was a sound… Like great rushing.

I forced my eyes open wide and slid off of Masen, leading him through the thinning trees to where the sound was coming from. The smell of salt and dampness filled my nose and as we came through the brush I looked upon a sight I had only read about and seen pictures of…

The Sea.

It was vast; stretching out from North to South and beyond the horizon, the sky above half hidden in swirling clouds. The sound I heard came from the rushing waves, crashing against the shoreline again and again beneath the cliff face I stood upon. My hand slipped from the reigns as I stepped forward, peering over the edge to see the torrent below.

Wind blew violently about me, and I marveled. I could see out for what must have been miles and miles as the dark, purple clouds above churned with the air currents.

_Beautiful_.

It was a sight I had always longed to see, but never could, since it was not part of our lands. I realized suddenly how very far I had travelled, feeling a small sense of relief that no one would follow me here.

The next second, the feeling vanished. _No one would follow. Because I was alone. Forever alone._

I clutched at my chest, where the remnants of my broken heart stabbed painfully through my chest. _Alone._

Dizziness swept me up in its grasp again and I was suddenly falling… A long scream escaped me as I fell through the air, and crashed through the freezing water below.

I was stunned for a moment before frantically moving my body through the waves. The angry water was black in every direction; there was no brightness to direct me upward. Gravity was all-powerful when it competed with the air, but it had nothing on the waves—I couldn't feel a downward pull, a sinking in any direction. Just the battering of the torrents that twisted and pulled and I struggled to find which way was up.

My body shuddered, trying to hold onto what little oxygen I had managed to grasp before sinking.

At first I tried to swim, but since I had never learned how, it did no good, only making my heavy limbs feel weaker, more numb.

And then I realized that there was no point to this struggle. I had wanted this since the moment _he_…_Edward_ had left me. I hadn't though his name once, but now, at the end, I knew it couldn't really add to the unbearable ache. _Edward…_

Over and over I thought his name, and I was glad to know our separation would be over soon. It certainly hadn't been my plan, but I was so grateful for being here. Because I was getting my wish. Finally, I would get to be with him. Nothing else mattered. Not the pain, or the guilt, nor the inconsequential matters I had yet to understand.

I felt something wound around my arm in that moment, and my instincts reacted, screaming out the last bit of air I had. Ice cold, the black water rushed into my throat, strangely burning as I breathed it in. This was it.

_Edward, I'm sorry. Edward, I love you. I'm coming…_

Darkness came swiftly.

.

.

.

But then it was gone, and something was pushing on me. Squeezing and striking and moving my arms, forcing the water from my lungs. I tried to breathe, but there was no chance of it while the burning water continued to pour out. My ears were ringing and still the water burned through my throat, dispensing from my lungs. Another strike came and suddenly I was able to catch a gasping breath, inhaling the now burning air, and realizing that I was no longer in the water… I could not be sure of that at first, since if felt like the waves were still around me… Then wind blew up and I was sure. Somehow, I was still alive. _No!_ The stab of pain twisted roughly in my chest, and I realized that there was someone beside me. A deep voice, shouting frantically.

"Here! Over here! I have her!"

I tried to open my eyes, to fight the hands that held me in place, but it was too much. I was too weak. I could feel myself slipping from consciousness again as another voice spoke above me.

"Isabella?"

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**A/N: I know. I'm horrible. ;) Please tell me just how much in your review. Haha. Next update is February 4, but I'm going to try my best to get it done sooner, since it's on the shorter side like this chapter. We'll see. Some visuals for this chapter will be posted on my LiveJournal in the next few days, if you'd like to check that out, if not, I'll remind you next time. Link for that is still on my profile.**

**On a side note, the Sunflower and Shimmer Awards are accepting nominations for stories. Show your favorite stories some love and go nominate (remember to remove the spaces in the links below):**

**thesunflowerawards .blogspot. com **

**shimmerawards .blogspot. com**

**And finally, for those of you still wondering why I really didn't like the BD Part 1 movie (If you don't, then just ignore this), I have posted a nice little rant on my profile for your convenience. ;)**

**I hope you all had a good Christmas and/or holiday and a safe New Year! Hopefully I'll get this story finished before the world ends sometime in the next several months. (Yeah, right.) Hahahahaha! **


	29. Exile

***Disclaimer: Twilight, and all likeness belong to Stephenie Meyer. It's not mine. :'(**

**Finally! Sorry! I know I said it would be "up in a few hours," but ffn was not letting me upload the chapter! *angry face* Ugh. Figures. Well, at least I wasn't a month late on this right? :P **

**And we're back! Thanks so much to those of you who haven't given up on me. I know I don't always manage to be on time, but I appreciate your patience and support. It means a lot, so thanks! Oh and I found out some disturbing news so make sure to read my AN at the bottom. Okay? Okay. Now, why are you still reading this? I know you've been waiting a long time to hear from our missing man!**

**Last time, on Crown Games:** Bella realizes that her hopes for a future with Edward are now impossible. Amid the pain and suffering she feels, Jasper explains that he still wants her for his bride, and Bella flees Forcelle, seeking a way to end the physical and mental agony of life without Edward, whom she _believes_ is dead…

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Chapter 29 – Exile

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EPOV

At first, there was emptiness. Nothing but silence and the void. It seemed to stretch out for eternity until one sound shook me from it.

Screaming. It was Bella. She was _screaming_.

I had to go to her. But…I couldn't feel my body. My mind was trapped somewhere in this dark abyss around me I could do nothing to help her.

I didn't know how long it lasted before whatever consciousness I had blurred into something else, disconnected from her, and yet, the sting of being away from her suddenly struck true. I could fell my body again, and yet, I had no strength to move or speak. I couldn't even open my eyes. I attempted to listen, to hear _something_ that could tell me what had happened. But there was not a whisper.

I tried to think back, what had happened? How had I come to this?

The void must have reclaimed me while I considered, as I felt the emptiness again… Empty awareness. Nothing more.

.

.

.

Fire and torment assaulted. There was a dark room, a small candle, a man with his hands clasped upon either side of her temple…and my Bella, lying bound and screaming. For me.

_He was hurting her_.

The next moment I was up, blinking rapidly as I attempted to get my bearings. _Find her. Help her._ The small room around me was dark and ominous as I looked for a way out. Seeing a door, I staggered quickly toward it, almost close enough to reach for the handle when it was opened from the outside, a small girl barging in, pushing against me.

"No, Edward. Lie back down!"

"I can't." I wrapped my hands around her arms, putting her behind me.

"No!" She twisted her fingers into my shirt. I was too weak to keep from stumbling to the ground. Still, I tried to get up. "Edward, you need to rest! Listen—"

"_No!_ He's… He's hurting her." I stopped moving. It was difficult to breathe. Black spots clouded my vision.

"I know. But you must rest." She tried to coax me back again.

I shook my head. "C-Can't…"

"Edward, please! If you don't, you will die, and so will she!"

That made me stop. I shook my head, confused. Confused, because somehow, I knew she was telling the truth. "But…"

She took advantage of this, pulling me up and back to the place where I had been lying. "Shh. I will explain. I promise. But you must rest. Here," reaching for the cup beside the bed, "drink this. It will help."

The taste was bitter on my tongue, but somehow it calmed the sudden shaking of my limbs almost instantly. All my senses were dulled…diminished.

I looked up, truly noticing the girl's features for the first time. The deep blue of her piercing eyes, framed with the short, ebony hair upon her head; she was small and as strangely familiar as I had thought before, though I had only set eyes upon her once; years ago, at the palace. "It's you."

She smiled warmly, taking the cup and then pushed gently against my chest, making me lie down. "Miss me?"

The words seemed to be more of a jest, than a true question, but I found myself answering sincerely. "…I …I have." It didn't make sense. I did not even _know_ this girl.

A small, bell-like laugh escaped her as she sat beside me. "Good to know I am not alone. Though, I see you don't understand why."

"I… No. But, you do?"

"Not exactly. I only know that you are very important, Edward. You and Bella."

_Bella… Bella!_

"Be still. Only your recovery can help her now."

"She's… I… How do you know she's in trouble? How do _I_ know that? I… _feel_ her so strongly…" My head was pounding. There were too many questions.

"Peace, Edward. You know I cannot give you all the answers you seek. I wish I could, but there are few truths I truly know." She sighed.

"What do you mean?"

She sighed once more. "Now is not the time. You must rest if you are to get well again. I promise you, Edward, you will have your answers, perhaps not all of them right away, but I will do my best once your recovery is nearer."

The girl pleaded with her eyes, trying to make me understand. And I suppose I did, though begrudgingly. If this was how I could help her, I would.

She stood up then, moving toward the door. There was a familiarity in the way she moved, and a sense of _déjà vu_ made me blink.

"Alice?" The question came without reason. _Was that her name?_

Her hand upon the doorknob, she turned back to me slowly, curious and uncertain. "Yes…?"

I hesitated before deciding to have at least one answer. "How… How—"

"Did I know where to find you?" She asked, taking the words right out of my mouth. "Well, I wasn't completely positive where you were. But, I knew I would. That's all that matters. Now sleep."

I nodded, closing my eyes. I thought she had gone, as there was only silence for a long moment, until I heard her soft murmur.

"_Alice_." The name seemed… unfamiliar to her. "_Hm. I like it._"

.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.

Four days. It had been _four days_ and this girl had yet to tell me anything!

It was far worse being trapped here than that one night in the Tower. At least I was still close to Bella. At least the world made sense and I had some comfort in knowing that I didn't have to suffer being away from her. And nothing I could do seemed to help.

Sleep gave me no rest, and the throbbing pain in my chest had become worse, however impossible it seemed. It was the same pain I had felt when I had tried to stay away from Bella so long ago. But this was stronger. More consuming than before. Only yesterday I had been drowning in it, unable to breathe. Alice had given me something to make me sleep, but the pain was still here when I awoke, waiting for me.

Misery ruled over me and I needed something—anything—to take the gnawing pain away in my chest. But I knew there was nothing in reach that would help.

Four days, and yet if felt as though a decade had gone since I had seen Bella. The fear I had felt for her faded, blurring with other emotions until desperation and the ache were all I had left of what must have been a dream.

Nothing made sense.

Alice spoke very little as she went to and from this place, attempting to give me comforting smiles and reassuring words that were no more than empty promises. And all I could do was wait and try to piece together what had happened.

I remembered traveling for miles in chains, the piercing sting of Jasper's blade… I should be dead. But somehow Alice had found me, healed me. There was not but a faint scar left upon my shoulder, and faded bruises. I was weak, too. I wouldn't have lasted one day on the road in this condition. Another reason I was forced to abide by Alice's instructions.

A perplexity that had yet to be resolved.

_Who was this girl?_ She looked just the same as the one time I had seen her prior, I was certain, though it had been years. And I knew her name. Or at least I thought I did; she hadn't corrected me, yet. She didn't ever seem to rest or eat. There was something else about her… I could not be sure, but it was almost as if she knew what I was thinking. Anticipating what I would ask or say. But more than that… Only I couldn't explain it.

Not that I could explain anything. I could merely guess, question, worry…plot. It made me wary despite the feeling that said she was trustworthy.

I tried not to let these useless thoughts consume me, but everything felt different now. At least there was one answer I had known from the moment I had woken up; I had to get well so I could return to Bella. I was trying to be patient, to be grateful as I should have felt for what Alice was doing. I couldn't seem to be, though. Not with the throbbing of my chest constantly emphasizing the need for one girl as I thought about ways to leave…

_Bella._

I didn't want to imagine what she had been going through, and yet I couldn't help seeing her heartbroken face when she must have discovered me gone. Was she even allowed to acknowledge her pain? Or would her father try to control that as well? Anger flared as I thought of the deal she had made for my useless life. The deal that was made in vain. Except that now I had the upper hand. Jasper had been a fool in giving me what should have been a slow death. And when I came back, it would be in secret; for one purpose alone.

Eventually I took in the space around me as a distraction. It seemed to be some kind of cottage, old and crumbling from age. The thatched roof testified to its age, but the wooden beams were sturdy. The stonewalls were touched with moss and the fireplace was thick with soot. All that stood for furniture was the bed, a small table beside it, the shelf along the wall that was piled with odds and ends, and a low table and chair near the fire. It was a musty little place, and despite the passing hours I could never determine if it was truly day or night. It was perpetual twilight here.

Now, it appeared to be sometime in the evening as Alice came in from the black night. She set a basket beside the door as she removed the heavy cloak from her shoulders. Then knelt at the hearth, placing fresh wood on the fire.

She came and sat beside the bed, a soft smile upon her lips. "How are we today?"

"Fine," I replied shortly.

She didn't like my rudeness, but made no comment. "May I?" She gestured to the piece of cloth that covered the angry, red scar on my shoulder. Apparently it was infected, and each day she smeared it with some remedy before covering it again. As she went about this I decided to try and ask some simpler questions that perhaps she would answer.

"Where are we?"

I was surprised that it had worked when she answered, "On the outskirts of the Wastes."

I nodded slowly. The Wastes. Many miles south of Forcelle, or any civilized place. We must have travelled far those last few days. I recalled the thinning trees, I think… It was a barren place, said to be cursed with darkness. Suddenly the lack of light made sense.

"How long have I been here?"

She pursed her lips, gazing at me from the corner of her eye. "Nearly a fortnight now."

More than two weeks without Bella. The thought was "Alice… _Please_."

For a long time she looked at my face. "Oh, very well." She tied the bandage and stood, dipping her fingers in the bowl of water beside the bed. "I suppose it has been long enough."

She sighed, crawling over my legs and sitting between me and the wall, shoulder to shoulder. "All right. Ask me what you will."

I thought about all the questions I had, knowing she couldn't answer all of them, so it was best to find out what she did know. "Who are you?"

"I… Well, I don't know." Sensing my next inquiry, she went on, "I think maybe we know each other…somehow. And Alice is a great name."

"But is it _your_ name?"

"You know, I think it is. I haven't been called by any proper name in so long… It's nice."

In that moment I realized how similar we were. Both without a past, a family. No wonder she had seemed so familiar. We were just the same. Well, almost. At least she still had some sense of purpose. "Do you not have any memories then?"

"My memories are…missing. Gone. The furthest back I can remember is running… Running away from something." She nodded absently. "I wandered for a time. There were some who aided me, but there was something in my heart telling me that I had to remember. That I had to help someone." She looked up. "And then I saw it was you. You and Bella."

"You… What do you mean, you saw us? Where?" _Was that how she knew Bella and I were more than what we should have been?_

"I _see_ many things without being near them. That matters little. The visions are not of the present, but the future."

I blinked, unconvinced. "The future? You see the future? How?"

She explained her Sight as best she could, though I had the suspicion that she wasn't sure of the full potential it had. The visions were at times subjective, allowing her to see the paths that varying choices could create. Other times they were certain, as if there was no question of choice. Apparently, she knew we would be here, in this place, even before we had met the first time. Her visions were erratic, making it difficult to understand. Alice knew there was a reason for what she saw, and with Bella and I in her sight, she knew it was best to seek us out, to try and understand whatever the visions were telling her.

So that was the reason she could guess my questions before I spoke them. Still, her words made little sense. She was a prophet of some kind, and yet her talent was somehow focused on Bella and me. I knew it was strange, the feelings I had always had for Bella since the moment I had laid eyes upon her… Even she had spoken of feeling bound to me… So, what did that mean?

"But, why us? What do we matter? I shouldn't even be connected to her."

"That, I cannot say. Though, I do have a guess…" She paused.

"Which is?"

She smirked, "How much do you know about the past, Edward?"

"The past?"

"You know, history. How the world began, with the Creator."

Those stories were considered more myth now than history. And what line of thinking led her to this? "I'm…not sure I follow you."

She began the story, "The Creator made the world. He made the sky and the Terra (Earth), the day and the night. He sent the Ceredir to construct the world, to make the mountains and valleys, and forests and waters. With the vision of the Creator, they fashioned many beautiful things so that when the time came for creatures to inhabit the land, all would reflect the Light of the Creator.

"And though they did these wondrous things there was one among them who was jealous of his brothers' and sisters' works, which were more pleasing to the Creator than his own—"

"Yes," I sighed, "and he became angry and destroyed their works, and became known as the Corruptor, who brings destruction upon the Terra and is ultimately punished by being bound to the world he despised and stripped of his heritage. Doomed to wander forever in the dark places of the Earth…"

Alice nodded. "Exactly."

"But, what does that have to do with anything?"

She looked at me with frustration for a moment before speaking again, "There was a time when it was real, Edward. When people on the Terra lived in fear of the Corruptor and his wicked deeds. The worst mistake that could have been. He plotted and schemed and eventually found a way to rule over the humans, poisoning their minds and actions with discord and wickedness as he went.

"He taught the people how to use magic for their own gain, how to be corrupt and selfish. He drained the Light of the Creator from their hearts, sewing seeds of Darkness in place of the Light. The Ceredir attempted to put an end to him, but he evaded them. So they set to create the Watchers. Or what we'd call the stars," she gazed out the tiny window. "Humans called them the Instruments of the gods. A fitting name, I think. Though, many thought them wicked creatures."

"And were they?"

She shook her head. "No. They were meant to be a beacon of hope, lighting the night and reminding those below of the Creator. They watched Terra from the sky and some even dared to touch down and live amongst the forests. Those who saw them were bewitched by their beauty and goodness, but none could say what became of those who sought them out. Eventually they led many attacks against the Corruptor, but none could take him, and many people fought blindly for the Corruptor. Soon the Instruments retreated, losing faith in the humans they sought to protect."

She turned to look at me. "Yet, some whispered that they were not all gone." She paused, waiting.

"…So, you think these Instruments have something to do with us?"

"No. Just you." Alice shook her head. "I still haven't figured it out. But I know that you have a great power inside you, Edward, and it's more than the meager pupils of magic. I've just got to find the missing piece."

The laughter was unexpected, and inexcusably rude…but I couldn't help it. She thought that I had some tie to these… Watchers…Instruments? How preposterous!

"It's not funny, Edward. You're in danger. There are still those who follow the Corruptor. Who do his bidding because he cannot be seen among the ever-watchful stars."

"Danger. Right." I chuckled. "And what do you mean by power? I'm just human. I don't…" The words and laughter perished upon my lips as I realized what she was saying. Suddenly I was thinking of the first time I had kissed Bella. How she had explained what happened from her point of view, and said just the same thing. Only I had never thought to doubt her.

Alice nodded as if I had acknowledged all of this aloud.

"You know I'm right."

"No. It…That can't be possible. It just doesn't make sense! I'm no one! Nothing."

Her hand covered mine as she turned to face me, while the other rested upon my cheek, _You're more important than you realize._ She said. But… Her lips… The voice I was hearing was not derived from her mouth. _And we'll find out why._

My eyes widened as I realized what was happening.

I was hearing her mind.

_Don't be alarmed,_ she thought, holding me from leaping away from her as I wanted to do. _Concentrate on me._

"H-H-How…are you doing this?"

_It's not me, Edward. It's you._

"No!"

_You know it's true. I know it, you know it. Even Bella saw it._

I broke away from her, falling to the floor before I staggered up onto my feet. "Don't speak of her!"

She looked at me with concern, but I didn't hear anything apart from my own labored breathing. I was confused and wary and I had never felt so… _angry_ as I did in this very moment.

There was a gleam in Alice's eyes as she stared at me. Then she jumped up and went to the shelf, pulling out what appeared to be an old looking glass. She held it up and I finally realized what she had been seeing…

My eyes, pale amber in their gleam and wide, staring back at me.

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**A/N: Well, hello again! Sorry this was short. :P Next update will be February 25. ****So, new information! And Alice! That deserves some enthusiasm, yes? Haha!**

**Still working on the pictures for the last chapter… :P Oh and I'm going to be working on a map of sorts for this story, so that'll be cool if I actually get it done.**

**Thanks so much to whoever nominated me and my story for the Sunflower Awards! Voting is going on now, so I'll let ya know if anything happens since the two categories I was nominated for (Sunflower Award and Storyteller Award) are panel judged only. But make sure to go vote for some of the other great stories that have been nominated there before the voting ends on the 8th. Also, if you'd like to know more about contests and the fandom in general check out tiwficcentral . com. It's _the_ site to go to for info about the fandom.**

**And now, on to the disturbing: did you hear that Lionsgate (the studio who bought Summit) wants to make more movies or (more likely) a TV show out of the Twilight series? No, this is not a joke. And the ONLY reason? To make money. That's it. _Disgusting_. I'm really tired of people exploiting artistic works for capital gain. (And before you say it, yes I know Twilight is not necessarily refined art, but it's still a piece of literature.) But Hollywood really is all about making money now. That's why mostly crap movies are made or old movies are remade or updated for no reason. (I mean really, Finding Nemo 3D?) Here's what the end of the article from Fandango's blog said:**

In an interview with the L.A. Times, Lionsgate CEO Jon Feltheimer hinted that _Twilight_ will go on.

"It's hard for me to imagine a movie that does $700 million-plus doesn't have ongoing value. It's an amazing franchise that they have done a great job of maintaining with absolutely no deterioration."

Another person close to the Lionsgate-Summit acquisition deal said that Lionsgate may consider using their television production department to turn _Twilight_ into a TV series.

**Bleh. Me no likey one bit! *raspberries* :P Oh well. Don't forget to leave me a review! Please and thank you!**


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